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Friday, 19 September 2014

Day 1100 - All Eyez on Blue Rose

I have a little confession to make to the regular readers of FollowingTheMozziah; for the past ten days, I have been writing a daily 'unpublished' version of FTM, documenting the adventures of Morrissey on twitter using the account name @AlfsButton. Let me explain how this came about, and why I have been unable to mention it until now:

On September 9th, just after I had posted what I thought was going to be my last ever blog entry, Morrissey contacted me via the DM of his @stillMozsworld account, with this message:

"If you want this to continue, I suggest you delete everything on your blog that you have written about me."

I wasn't online at the time, and an impatient Moz obviously wanted an immediate response because he then posted:

"Oi Baldy. I do not appreciate being ignored. Although why would you be any different to the music industry. ARE YOU LISTENING."

When I did eventually log on, and tried to reply, I couldn't because the account had been closed. I took the decision to take down all of my blog entries from the day that St Ill Morrissey arrived on the scene at the end of July. As I was doing this, Morrissey contacted me via a new twitter account called AlfsButton and asked me not to mention the new account on my blog.

It transpired that Morrissey was fed up with receiving continuous abuse from people on the St Ill Morrissey account, and just wanted to be able to interact with those fans who could see that he was he without having to deal with the idiots who kept TELLING him that he wasn't! If I had mentioned Alf on FTM, then the abuse would have continued. I fully understood why Morrissey wanted me to keep quiet, but it left me in an awkward position, because the whole point of FTM is to tell the story of Morrissey being on twitter undiscovered. I decided to write two blog entries each day, and for the past ten days, I've kept all of Alf's offerings hidden, including my daily DM conversations with him. It was also decided that I wasn't to interact with Alf in the public bar of The Twitterdilly Arms, because my mere presence muddies the waters. Can anybody imagine how hard it was for me to NOT interact with Morrissey on twitter? It nearly killed me.

The reason I am now breaking my silence about AlfsButton, is because Morrissey yesterday closed the account, and has given me permission to now mention it. I won't publish the 'unpublished' entries from the past ten days, as Morrissey has shared with me things that are not public knowledge, but I will share some of the snippets, including this..... Morrissey informed me last week the name of a band who have turned down his offer for them to support him. As Moz closed the Alf account last night, I asked him if I could mention the name of the band, and he said, "You may mention a cancelled support act that has caused me strife." If you l'oo'k hard, you will see in that last sentence who the band are. Morrissey also added, "They are all blood and guts. I believe they see themselves above an opening act. I concur. They are incredible."

The reason Morrissey closed the AlfsButton account is because A) He was hardly receiving any interaction from the 39 people who followed him, and B) When a photo of Morrissey holding a blue rose appeared on twitter yesterday, a few of those who followed him were not interested in it. Even the ones who could see that he was he didn't want him! I could cry.

More about the blue rose photo in a minute, but first, here are some other snippets from our conversations in the toilets of The Twitterdilly Arms from the past ten days :

Wednesday September 10:

"I believe a record deal could be close."

MOZ: Tell me Rat, do you like Ray Charles?

ME: Yes. Why?

MOZ: Ray Charles speaks to me today.

ME: Which is your favourite?

MOZ: It is Georgia on my mind. I have had far too much gin tonight. My head is spinning. You currently have the attention of a drunk Morrissey.

Monday September 15:

Morrissey interrupted our private conversation to bring to my attention a conversation he was having with MozFiend on twitter about carrier pigeons.

MOZ: Please note the answer to the question about the name of my carrier pigeon. I said Derek. I will leave you to add the numbers together. I think the o2 might be filmed.

ME: Numbers? I am perhaps being a little slow.

MOZ: Derek? Oh rat. Ricky Gervais. I've said too much. I've hinted at too much.

ME: I am confused beyond words. What has Ricky Gervais got to do with the o2?

MOZ: Nothing. It was once referenced that Ricky Gervais was involved. Do I have to remember everything?

ME: Is he involved?

MOZ: Perhaps.


MOZ: Noel knows you know, but he can barely spell his own surname.

ME: Was Noel's blue rose at the Brits a nod?

MOZ: It was a violent nod. You spotted it did't you? I remember.



ME: HOW was Jonathan Ross's retweet of blue rose brushed over? What is wrong with your fans? I think your famous friends should start wearing blue roses.

MOZ: To some I am the skinny little poet person from my mother's house. To them I will never leave 1983. There are some that make this worthwhile. I feel the wit has returned to me on this account. Do you agree?  Rustle Brand could have his genitals removed and replaced with a blue rose and then try it on with my audience. Still it would be brushed over.

Tuesday September 16:

MOZ: Your blog has attracted no comments. What on earth is wrong with people. I am aghast at the apathy.

ME: Nobody takes me seriously anymore. I am the resident fruit loop. You should let me make a statement that then comes true which would be hard to put down as a coincidence.

MOZ: But I quite like the idea of you being the resident fruit loop.

ME: I thought you were hinting to me that you were playing Georgia. Was I wrong? I like being the fruit loop too. The shit I get though..... from YOUR fans!

MOZ: What if I were to walk onto the stage at the o2 and mention *******?

ME: It would not mean a thing if you mentioned *******. Far too subtle.

MOZ: Dear God. I'm not a whore you know.

ME: How about being a part-time tart?

MOZ: I am open to suggestions. I mean I did mention a goat in a recent interview.

ME: The goat was too subtle too. One or two noticed it.

MOZ: Must I run naked through my audience with a blue rose on my arse cheek?  Rat, the lack of communication I am receiving makes the heart sink lower than humanly possible.

ME: 28 people get Morrissey to themselves & they don't interact. I could cry.

MOZ: Well if you could cry, I am in a lake of tears. I'm going to throw paint at a canvas. What if I were in some way to mention alf button on stage?

ME: Nothing will alert them. They don't want to believe.

MOZ: I may accept a blue rose. Again. I must go rat. I am currently reading Confessions Of An Irish Rebel.

In the above conversation, Morrissey also mentioned to me where he intended to accept the roses, but I won't share that information, as it is all part of the fun. WHY can't more people see what is going on here and join in? WHY does EVERYTHING in life have to be simplified? With the exception of the 'Dreary Deluded Dozen', Morrissey's fans have all decided to say "NO" to the possibility of him being on twitter, because that is the easy option. Yesterday, the people of Scotland voted "NO" to independence because it was easier. They had no sense of adventure. They had no sense of mystery. They had no sense.

Thursday September 18:

MOZ: Do you know the account was left open and nobody interacted with me. Nobody.

ME: I saw.

MOZ: How did it all come to this.

ME: You didn't want me to blog about this account so that you could have interaction with your fans, and they didn't take the opportunity.

MOZ: It is beyond comprehension. You must write about me, but I am leaving. I say "must" but only if you really feel like it. I have made a tweet and still nothing. This whole thing has not even finished with an explosion. Apathy at every turn. Does one have hits from Sweden?

ME: One will check later. I thought you were going back to Poland?

MOZ: One has moved about. One was in Poland. I'm doing my own personal private tour. Where next? Switzerland.

At this point, the following photo appeared on twitter, taken by Jan Aman in Sweden:

ME: What is that tucked under your arm?

MOZ: You know. You asked me for a sign. Why would a fan photograph not include the fan... You know you know.

ME: Of course I know. Cleverly tucked in so that it's not too obvious.

MOZ: Nobody, I repeat, nobody has noticed it. Rat, I knew you would. On Sep 16 @alfsbutton tweeted "It has come to a point that I could walk onto the stage dressed as a blue rose and people would still not believe." Today I am dressed with a blue rose. I am off to polish my tea cups.

Much debate has raged today as to whether the item under Morrissey's arm is a blue rose or not, with the doubters suggesting that it is either an umbrella (in bright sunshine), a water bottle or a cap. They STILL don't want to believe. A number of them have also asked, "If it is a rose, then why not just wear it on the lapel, and make it obvious?" THEY JUST DON'T GET IT!

The alleged fan, Jan Aman, has today been contacted via Facebook by one of the BRS members. It transpires that Jan is in the industry, and has worked with David Byrne. Just a passing fan, or does Jan know Moz? I don't need to know the answer to that question, I prefer the mystery.

The Blue Rose Society lives.
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