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Sunday, 30 October 2011

Day 46 - Joyce Bites Back - Sunday 30th October 2011

The Mozziah and his only begotten son, The Rusted Rocket have completely vanished. Actually that's not entirely true, The Mozziah did tweet a thank you message to a young 'mug designer' fan four days ago and the Rusted Rocket turned up on twitter in a different outfit, but I didn't realise it was him at the time and he hasn't returned since. Both The Mozziah & Rusty Buck are greatly missed by the followers who are hoping for a swift return.

What did Simon Peter and the crew do when JC disappeared for weeks on end on his walk abouts? They had no youtube in those days to tweet old JC 'performances' to each other. If they did, they would of course have looked for the more obscure of 'Previously Unseen Miracles' and 'Rare Footage From Behind The Scenes At Mount Olive'. Did they instead happily amuse themselves retelling old tales about blessing the meek? Perhaps they would go down The Jerusalem Hole, the local tavern, have a few jars and as the alcohol soaked in become louder and more raucous? James, son of Zebedee would slur,  'What about the fidge and the bread? I loved that day. Baskets of the stuff. More fidge that day than on a Jody Marsh hen do'. In fact, what happened when Old JC finally took the final trip to sit by his Old chap's right hand? Did the disciples continue spreading the word until their final days or as the months and years passed by, did they give it up or move on to something else? Is it really that dissimilar to modern day? When Bieber Fever dies, will Justin's disciples continue to spread the word of what a God he is or will they deny they ever really liked him and go back to listening to Timberlake?


   I have attempted to lift spirits in the twitter camp but it's getting harder. I have kept myself amused by baiting Mike Joyce into saying sorry but he wouldn't. For those who missed his reply to me, here it is in full:
Mike Joyce said...




OK RB, a few relevant facts … You stated ”In 1996 Mike Joyce took Morrissey & Marr to court believing he should be paid 25% of royalties because there were four members of the band, even though it was only Morrissey & Marr who wrote the songs.”

You also stated “The Mozziah & Johnny Marr wrote the songs, they deserved the majority of the royalties, very few people, with the exception of Judge Weeks, dispute that.”

I think you’re slightly confused regarding the issue of royalties.

Fact:

They receive all the publishing royalties for writing the songs. In fact, Morrissey receives 50% of publishing royalties from all instrumentals recorded by The Smiths! M & M did write the songs and that’s why they received, and still do, 50% each of the publishing.

Publishing royalties are a completely separate revenue income than mechanical royalties. Mechanical royalties are generated from actual sales of an album/ single/ 12” etc.

It was the unequal share (40%-40%-10%-10%) of these royalties that was disputed.

I do regret that it had to go to trial and I’m also sorry that we all had to go through the process, but in my opinion, I wasn’t wrong to take up proceedings in the first place, nor will I ever be.

Mike

I'll give him his due, he obviously believes what he did was right, which it wasn't, and he seems to have missed the bigger picture. Personally, I cannot see how The original line up of The Smiths can EVER reunite. As Joyce says, 'I wasn't wrong to take up proceedings in the first place, nor will I ever be'. Actually, that doesn't make sense, he should have said, 'I am not sorry, nor will I ever be,  NOT, I wasn't wrong, nor will I ever be.' Schoolboy error, in more ways than one.

Joyce has this morning sent a tweet to Joey Barton, asking Joey to follow him as he wants to send him something! Interesting. However, firstly, Barton has 600,000 followers so will probably not see Joyce's request and secondly, Barton was five when The Smiths broke up, so he probably has no idea who @MikeJoyceDrums is!

My blog of Thursday, and the subsequent reply from Joyce, caught the twitter eye of The G*ardian's deputy editor Kath Viner. This is the second time she has replied to me so there must be something nagging in her mind that this whole MorrisseysWorld phenomenon really IS Morrissey. I'm going to make life really easy for her now, because so far, these so called journalists are failing in their investigative duties to find out if The Mozziah really IS behind it. I worked it out, why can't they? Maybe they're too worried to run the story in case they get sued. Come to think of it, the papers are NEVER again going to dare slur The Mozziah once this High Court libel case is done and dusted, he'll be untouchable, well that is unless you're prepared to make a diving lunge up the pier at Great Yarmouth!

So, as I was saying, I'll make it easy to prove it's The Mozziah. Yesterday I trawled back through some of @MorrisseysMum 's tweets. For those who don't know, @MorrisseysMum is in fact The Mozziah himself in his Anthony Perkins role as his Mother. This twitter account has also been owned by me at one stage but I won't mention that now as it will only cloud the issue and lead people to think this whole story is made up. People will start to believe I am behind MorrisseysWorld, especially in light of my particularly amusing Andrew Lloyd-Webber skit of yesterday which definitely had a whiff of the Wildean wit used in similar pieces on MW. And come to think about it, could TRB, The RatsBack actually be a hidden coded name for The Russell Brand? I've got you questioning it now haven't I? But surely if I were Russell Brand I wouldn't have just hinted that, or would I?

Anyway, assuming that I'm not Russell Brand, or in deed anything to do with MW, which I'm not, I'm just a nobody, I trawled through old Mum tweets yesterday and found some interesting ones. Now, it is well documented that Joey Barton received an invitation from The Mozziah to meet him at Glastonbury. Barton first tweeted his exciting news on June 18th, but if you look, you will see that 'Mum' tweeted the following on June 1st:

 "My boy on phone to someone called Joey Barton, saying "Get down to Glastonbury and give him grief for me."Anyone know what's going on?"

 It would appear nobody DID know what was going on! Now let's go back to May 25th, the Uk tour dates had just been announced but no US ones. Mum tweeted:

"America don't despair, you haven't been forgotten."

And low and behold, US dates later appeared! The most interesting old 'Mum' tweets for me, are ones from January saying that Morrissey had been out with Johnny Marr and there was also another from May 2nd that said:

"I can confirm my boy has been in touch with an old pal and they have collaborated. He knows you'd love to hear it." If this is true, could it possibly mean that Johnny Marr will feature on the new album, which, according to a tweet from August 19th will be released 'Sooner than previously expected'.

I honestly believe The Mozziah has LOVED the fact that he has been able to give such open public detail of so much that goes on, and yet SO few have picked up on it. Part of me dearly wishes I was a journalist, but the majority of me is so glad I'm not. This whole experience has been an unbelievable ride, a ride that will pick up momentum as soon as the tour starts. The number of hits on MorrisseysWorld website currently numbers 145,000, so people are obviously finding it, but his 'official' twitter account has just 3,863 followers and 'Mum', which is also linked from the MorrisseysWorld site, has just 429, so people STILL don't believe it's true.

It is a shame all the really funny content on MW has been taken down, because the new arrivals are missing some treats, but in less than two weeks, the masses will finally arrive, and as the masses drink in every bit of the story, my blog will act as some sort of record of how The Mozziah's website remained secret for so long. The anticipation grows.....I so wish I was living in the USA.

 Twitter Follower - Scores on the Doors:

1. @RustyRockets 3,383,667 UP 34,180 - This guy's popular!
2. @Amanda_Holden 736,330 UP 6,670 - A rude tweet about a moist sponge brings more followers.
3. @Joey7Barton 639,016 NEW ENTRY - He doesn't even wear 7!
4. @Johnny_Marr 73,444 UP 618 - I'm still blocked, has he ANY idea Mozziah behind MW?
5. @TheStoneRoses 22,702 UP 997 - Momentum declining. False Gods.
6. @MorrisseysWorld 3,863 UP 309 - Numbers growing despite no tweeting for 2 weeks & Website closed.
7. @MikeJoyceDrums 2,436 UP 24 - What does he want to send to Joey?
8. @TheRatsBack 1,530 DOWN 13 - Ian Botham fans leave at last.
9. @Banjaxer 740 UP 5 - For those new to the blog who don't know who he is, tweet & ask him.
10. @MorrisseysMum 429 UP 4 - THE most famous & ONLY genius in this list has 429 followers. Welcome to his World.

Saturday, 29 October 2011

Day 45 - Morrissey The Musical - Saturday 29th October 2011

MORRISSEY THE MUSICAL

(The setting is the board room of  'The Really Useful Group'.
In the room is Baron Andrew Lloyd-Webber and Sir Timothy Miles Bindon Rice.
There is a knock at the door and Sarah Brightman enters the room followed by The Mozziah, Betty Dwyer, Russell Brand & Boz Boorer.)

SARAH: Mr Morrissey My Lord.

BARON L-W(BLW):  Thank you Sarah, sit over there in the corner and take notes.*Shaking hands with The Mozziah enthusiastically, although limply* Morrissey, thank you SO very much for coming, may I say how VERY excited both I and Tim are about this project. We haven't felt like this since Jesus Christ Superstar, oh the parallels, the songs, please sit down, sit down.

MOZZIAH: Thank you, this is Boz Boorer my guitarist.

BOZ: *Shaking BLW's hand* Musical director.

MOZZIAH: This is a...er, friend of mine, Russell.

BRAND: *Hugging BLW* Ooo Andrew such and absolute pleasure to meet you my lordship and may I say how I've always admired your work, especially all that stuff you did on the telly with Graham Norton.

BLW: Thank you, have you met Tim?

BRAND: Not unless he was the geezer what owned that crack house in Basildon High Street, come to think of it, he did look a bit like you.

MOZZIAH: *Ignoring Brand's Mad Eyed Chambermaid antics* And this is my mother Betty.

BLW: Pleased to meet you Mrs Morrissey.

BETTY: Dwyer.

BLW: Sorry?

BETTY: It's not Morrissey, it's Dwyer.

BLW: Oh, sorry, is it Welsh?

BETTY: Irish, it means black.

TIM RICE & BRAND: *Simultaneously breaking in to song* Whoa Black Betty bam a lam, whoa Black Betty bam a lam, Black Betty had a child bam a lam, the damn thing gone wild. *The pair break into laughter and hug*

BLW: *Smiling embarrassingly* Yes, well, shall we get on?

BRAND: We do get on *starts laughing again, as does Rice, everybody else is quiet*

BLW: You're not an easy man to get hold of Mr Morrissey.

MOZZIAH: Morrissey please, just call me Morrissey.

BLW: Yes, you're hard to track down. I asked my people to contact your people but you don't seem to have a manager. Do you do everything yourself?

MOZZIAH: Mum and Boz are very helpful and...

BRAND: *Interrupting* I helps out wiv the web an' all that don't I? I've got over three million twitter followers and I've been in films and everything.

BLW: *Ignoring Brand* Listen, Mr, I mean Morrissey, let's get down to the nitty gritty, Tim and I want you on stage.

BRAND: He's always on stage, he's played 'em all you know, Hollywood Bowl, Madison Square Gardens, Albert Hall, Earls Court, Wembley Arena, London Palladium, Great Yarmouth Pier.

BLW: *Again ignoring Brand* Morrissey, forget We Will Rock You, forget Mama Mia, Tim and I want to create Morrissey the Stage Show. We're thinking either 'Irish Blood, English Heart' or 'The Boy With The Thorn In His Side', perhaps even 'This Charming Man', there's plenty of options but the public need to make the connection. I'll be honest, I wasn't THAT familiar with your work until very recently when a friend of mine, who works in chambers, informed me he'd been studying your work in great detail. He thinks you're a genius, Tim thinks you're a genius, I think you're a genius. I'm not quite sure how your career has bypassed me. I've spent the last two weeks catching up. Morning, noon and night Tim and I have been listening to every note, every word. 'Gone to waste in the wrong arms', beautiful, quite beautiful.

BRAND: That's my favourite, I love that one.*Bursts in to song with Tim Rice joining in* Trouble loves me, trouble neeeeds me, two things more than you do.

BLW: Ahem.

BETTY: I do love that one too. You've got a nice voice Russell, I never realised.

BRAND: Thanks Mrs D, any requests?

BETTY: Bengali?

MOZZIAH: MOTHER! RUSSELL! For Christ's sake.

BETTY: STEVEN! Don't take the lord's name in vain *crosses herself*

BLW: Sarah, Go and get a fresh pot of tea.

BETTY: Please.

BLW: *Looking perplexed* Sorry?

BETTY: Please! You should always say please.

BLW: It's only Sarah, she shouldn't even still be here. We got divorced over twenty years ago but she's never actually left. Hangs around looking like Nancy Dell'olio's googled eyed twin. Still, she's useful for making tea and things. We used to have Prince Edward here making tea but he was useless c*nt. Oh shit, sorry, I do apologize Mrs Dwyer, that just slipped out.

BETTY: No please don't apologize, I fully understand.

BLW: *Turning back to The Mozziah* Morrissey, do you feel you are more creative now or with The Smiths?

BOZ: Objection.
*Everybody looks at Boz*

MOZZIAH: What do you mean objection Boz? This isn't a court.

BOZ: Why'd he have to bring up the 'S' word?

MOZZIAH: Smiths Boz, the word is Smiths.

BOZ: There's no need, that's all I'm saying, there's just no need. *mutters under breath* Wanker.

MOZZIAH: Boz?

BOZ: Not you Moz, I meant him, old Lord Toffee twat.

BETTY: BOZ!

BOZ: Sorry Mrs D.

BLW: *Speaking to Morrissey* Look, I think we may have talked enough for one day, I just wanted to meet you in the person, so to speak and get a feel for you. See what you thought to the Musical idea. Tim and I were thinking, open up with 'Irish Blood', straight into 'Barbarism' and 'Headmaster's', then I thought 'Charming Man' but Tim thinks 'Glove'. Personally I wasn't thinking of having 'Glove' in it at all but Tim thinks it's essential don't you Tim?

RICE: Well we can hardly tell the story of the Salford poet without the song that put him on the map.

BETTY: Hulme.

MOZZIAH: Ssh mum.

BETTY: It's all in the detail Steven, you know that. And that reminds me, I've come up with a fantastic new back drop for the new tour.

MOZZIAH: MUM! Not here. And those back drops are my idea.

BETTY: Hah! Which one? Sacha? Er, I don't think so.

BLW: Listen, I think we need to break for today, but can I take it we're in agreement to getting this project off the ground?

BRAND: Definitely, I love it, love it, love it.

MOZZIAH: Er, Russell?

BRAND: Sorry Morrissey.

MOZZIAH: Who have you got in mind to actually play 'ME'? I was thinking...

BLW: *Interrupting* Well I want to find a new you via the BBC. A tv programme called something like..

BRAND: *Interrupting* 'Finding The Mozziah'.

BLW: Ooo, I quite like that. No, I was thinking 'Search for The Moz' or 'A Charming Man' but 'Finding The Mozziah', yes I DO like that, Sarah, write that down.

RICE: I thought we'd decided against the tv thing, so tacky, so NOT Morrissey.

MOZZIAH: Agreed.

RICE: No, I was thinking Tim Burgess or Tim Booth or Tim Roth.

EVEYBODY(except Rice): TIM ROTH?

RICE: Curry then, Tim Curry, he was brilliant as Frank N Furter.

BRAND: I was gonna play Frank N Furter, hey, I could play Morrissey?

MOZZIAH: Sit down Russell.

BETTY: Well, nice to meet you Lord Webber, we'll give it some thought, and if you're up our way, please do pop in, the kettle's always on.

Friday, 28 October 2011

Day 44 - The Mozziah's Prayer - Friday 28th October 2011

LET US PRAY

Our Mozzer, Art-hound from Stretford,
Mozziah be thy name.
Thy Concerts come.
They will be done, in Pomona
And also Austin.
Give us this day, some wit words through twitter
And forgive Mike his trespasses,
But don't forgive Conor, McNicholas against us,
And lead us not into Park Heaton,
But deliver us an album.
For thine IS the voice,
Your words tell the story,
Forever and ever,
Our Moz.

Thursday, 27 October 2011

Day 43 - Mike Joyce, Are You Sorry? - Thursday 27th October 2011

I have a twitter claim to fame, I am being 'followed' by two members of The Smiths (The Mozziah & Mike Joyce), and banned by a third (Johnny Marr). I have made no contact with the fourth (Andy Rourke).
   It has been reported in The Sun newspaper that QPR footballer, and Smiths fan, Joey 'Bone Crusher' Barton, is going to try and reunite The Smiths. He has claimed that he is friends with both The Mozziah & Johnny Marr and he is going to try and bring them together. I'll be honest with you Joey, I don't think reuniting The Mozziah & Johnny is the main problem, if they decide they want to work together again, I believe they will, but they are both purists and they have loyalties, so if they do decide to work together, it won't be as The Smiths unless Andy Rourke & Mike Joyce are involved, and there in lies the problem. If  The Smiths are ever to reform, in their original format, the biggest hurdle will be reuniting The Mozziah and drummer Mike Joyce, and believe me, THAT isn't going to be so easy, but Bone Crusher me old mucker, I'm giving it a go. The question still has to be asked of course, is a Smiths reunion really a good idea anyway? As I've talked about in my blog before, reunions very rarely work and they HAVE to be for the right reason. The so called excitement currently bestowing The Stone Roses is laughable. They are obviously ONLY reforming for commercial gain, do they really have anything new to offer the music industry? Of course not. The main reason cited by people wanting a Smiths reunion is, 'I never saw them live'. I was lucky, I did see them live, but for The Smiths to reform it HAS to be for a better reason than nostalgia or allowing a new audience to see them. I remember how excited I was to see The Sex Pistols play a few years ago, but it was meaningless. Yes I can now say I saw them live but can I say I saw them play when they were a meaningful part of the music industry? No. If The Smiths reformed, they would have to behave like a new band. M & M would have to sit down, write a new album, and then take it out on the road via small venues, not Parks and Arenas. Yes play some old hits but can you imagine the excitement and credibility in showcasing new material? Johnny Rotten take note, actually, don't bother Johnny, the moment has gone. For The Smiths to reform, The Mozziah & Marr would have to believe they still had something to give, and probably, more than ANY other band, they have. Their combined genius was cut short when Johnny Marr broke up The Smiths in 1987 and although The Mozziah has gone on to effectively produce 24 more years worth of 'Smiths' material, Marr hasn't. The reason I am blocked on twitter by Johnny Marr is because I criticized his singing but I was being honest, he ISN'T a singer, his skill lies in song writing and I genuinely believe his creativeness part died the day he left The Smiths. The Mozziah could probably re stimulate Johnny Marr and I believe, deep down, Johnny knows that. Johnny Marr is an empty blue rose. The Smiths could make new influential music for a whole new generation. I'm now starting to feel excited, and I was the one who didn't want a reunion. A BRAND NEW SMITHS ALBUM, out on tour. It makes your mouth water.
  So, back to the stumbling block, Mike Joyce. For those who don't know the history, in 1996 Mike Joyce took Morrissey & Marr to court believing he should be paid 25% of royalties because there were four members of the band, even though it was only Morrissey & Marr who wrote the songs. Joyce won the court case but lost a friend, Marr was more forgiving. Morrissey was deeply, deeply hurt by the court case and even now, fifteen years later, the betrayal still hurts.
 I have stated in my blog before, that I truly believe, the ONLY way The Mozziah will ever even possibly contemplate reforming The Smiths, with the original line up, is if Mike Joyce apologizes for taking him to court. Whether Mike believes it was right or wrong, the hurt runs deep. The Mozziah & Johnny Marr wrote the songs, they deserved the majority of the royalties, very few people, with the exception of Judge Weeks, dispute that. Yesterday I again tweeted Mike to ask him to apologize to The Mozziah. He ignored me, I wasn't offended, after all, I am a nobody. However, he tweeted that he was to be interviewed later in the day on the Talk Sport radio station, I tuned in, hoping he would take this perfect opportunity to say sorry, he didn't. He told the interviewer that his ideal 2012 would be for Man City to buy, sorry, I mean 'win' the league and for The Smiths to reform. He explained to the interviewer that a reunion may be difficult because of the court case. You can say that again Mike. I'll aim the next part of this blog entry directly to Mike. Like it or not Mike, I might be your best shot to playing with The Smiths again. You have nothing to lose. And please believe me, a public apology IS needed. The Mozziah reads this blog and reads YOUR tweets. I fully understand a public apology it is a VERY VERY hard thing to do, and you probably feel you have nothing to say sorry for, but you have. Fifteen years ago, you were broke and desperate. Understandably you wouldn't have been thinking about the possibility of a reunion, you'd have been thinking how were you going to survive. But by suing The Mozziah, you betrayed him and you can surely understand why he is so bitter towards you? But fifteen years is a long time and perhaps, just perhaps, he is ready to forgive.
A reunion would make Mike a wealthy man and I don't believe The Mozziah would begrudge him making money, at the end of the day, Mike Joyce WAS and still could be 'A Smith'. I will send this blog entry to Mike Joyce via twitter and ask him once again to say sorry. A simple tweet to say, 'Hindsight is a wonderful thing, I now very much regret suing Morrissey & Marr, I was wrong & am sorry'.
 The destiny of The Smiths is now in the hands of Joey Barton and Mike Joyce. As Cilla would say Mike, 'The decision is yours'.

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 42 Wednesday 26th October 2011

IT MIGHT SMEAR THEIR LOVELY CAREER

Today, the British Justice system, which is no doubt one of the 'British' things that The Mozziah finds 'Quaint & very amusing', has taken it's first step to restore our faith in what is right and what is wrong. As I predicted in my blog of Tuesday 18th, Justice Tugendhat has granted The Mozziah the right to take his libel action against IPC Publications (NME owners) and more importantly the former editor Conor McNich*las to the High Court. The NME article, written in 2007 by Tim Jonze, a respected music journalist and fan of The Mozziah, was tampered with by the then editor Conor McNich*las, who was hell bent on grabbing headlines and making a name for himself. It now looks as though Mr McNich*las's wish will at last be granted, and the name will be 'fool'.

I believe Justice Tugendhat has probably spent the last week listening to and analysing the words to many of The Mozziah's songs, as well as reading various interviews conducted with the Mozziah. As I said in my previous blog, Justice Tugendhat is a very intelligent man, and it wouldn't have taken him long to realise that the allegations against The Mozziah are ridiculous, 'Almost too silly to discuss'.  I would guess that the lawyer's for IPC are also intelligent people and they too will have been analysing every word, who knows, The Mozziah may be gaining a whole new fan base here, the High Courts could become like G*ardian HQ with the strains of 'Viva Hate' echoing through Chambers. 'Tugend slowly over wet sands, back to the bench where your wig was stolen'. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I would guess the lawyer's for IPC will now realise they are on a very expensive hiding to nothing. They will UNDOUBTABLY want this matter settled out of court and will be falling over themselves to throw large sums of money at The Mozziah, without prejudice of course.

 McNich*las will have NO say in any of it, he is the pea brained pawn who made the mistake, the shuffling little embarrassment of a man that has brought very bad publicity to IPC. They all of course have Public Indemnity Insurance to protect them against such writs, but it is the bad press that IPC won't want. So the final decision as to whether this case reaches court, will rest solely on the shoulders of Steven Patrick Morrissey. His lawyer's will probably advise him to take whatever huge sum of money IPC eventually decide to offer, and the temptation to take the money will be huge. There would also be the advantage of not having the stress and strain of going to court, of being in the newspapers daily, of not being able to perform while this is going on. And on the flip side, The Mozziah wouldn't have his day in court and wouldn't be able to see McNich*las hung up for what he really is.

Conor McNich*las said that The Mozziah's views were, 'Unreasonably skewed towards immigration'. But THEY AREN'T, and McNich*las MUSTN'T be allowed to wriggle away. If there is to be an out of court settlement, then there has to be terms attached, and one of those terms has to be a full page apology from McNich*las in not only the NME but other IPC publications. McNich*las must explain in his apology that he was wrong and also explain the actual meaning of The Mozziah's comments. And if he STILL doesn't understand them, let me help. 'The higher the influx into England, the more the British identity disappears'. A fairly obvious one you'd think. Justice Tugendhat, The Mozziah, myself and millions of other Britain's are only here in Britain because our families migrated here many years ago. Britain is our home and we are British. We speak English, we ARE English. Britain has flourished because of immigration but immigration was never monitored and the 'Old Britain' has gone forever as millions of differing nationalities come to Britain, for better or worse. Inner city schools are full of children who's first language is not English. Statements like that are not racist, they are fact. Whether it is a good thing that 'Old Britain' has lost it's identity to become a global melting pot is down to individual interpretation or debate but it ISN'T in itself racism.

The very fact that politicians have been too scared to debate immigration honestly and intelligently is the very reason it wasn't monitored. Justice Tugendhat's own brother wrote a book on it at the end of the 1980's, questioning whether or not Britain knew what direction it wanted to go. The question was never answered. Intelligent men like The Mozziah must be allowed to debate and talk about such things without being branded a racist. If Conor McNich*las had bothered to read the words of the interview properly he wouldn't now be sat biting his nails, awaiting his fate. 'Immigration DOES enrich British identity, but it does mean saying goodbye to the Britain we once knew'. Not a racist word to be seen, just FACT.

 So, Court or settlement? As I've said, only The Mozziah can decide. A high profile (and let's not forget this will be THE BIGGEST and possibly LAST libel court case in front of a jury) court case not only brings justice and revenge, but commercially it will bring success. Being reported on daily in the national papers is never a bad thing and the perfect launch pad to an autobiography/new album/tour. The negatives I have already mentioned. I personally would go to court. The Mozziah is THE poet of our generation and I believe the publicity will bring new fans. The one nagging doubt in my mind would be trusting the' twelve men good and true' to have the intelligence to make the correct decision, but after all, they will have Tugendhat to guide them, not to chide them and if they do get it wrong, can the last one out please close the door. Come Armageddon, Come Armageddon Come.

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 41 Tuesday 25th October 2011

I have received a private message via Twitter from Mike Joyce. I can't message back because he doesn't follow me, I have therefore asked him to follow me. If he does, I will ask him straight if he regrets suing The Mozziah and if he is prepared to say sorry? If he is sorry, it will be the first step forward to the reformation of The Smiths. I think.
 Morrissey popped very briefly in to twitter today quoting Lindisfarne's 'Meet Me On The Corner'. It is a song about dreams. As his self appointed soothsayer I am happy to interpret his dreams, I will await a further 'visitation'......or tweet!  I have asked StillICling, via twitter, to sell/distribute roses at the Chicago concert, with a print out of the MorrisseysWorld home page, explaining what to do. StillICling may well need help in spreading the word. I believe the cat, who's name is Heather will help.
 1742 STOP PRESS: I have just read that The Mozziah is to be in court tomorrow to hear the judgement of Justice Tugendhat. The news was revealed on twitter by Josh Halliday of The G*ardian but he has blocked me! Don't know why, might be because i called him a reporter and NOT a journalist, so precious these media types. Good luck Mozziah, although of course you don't need it, I have seen the future for Conor McNich*las, and it isn't 'rose'y.

Monday, 24 October 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 40 Monday 24th October 2011

Dark clouds are forming, the world is a changing place and people are taking to the streets. Yes, I'm afraid The Wanted have gone straight in to the UK Top 40 at Number 1 with the meaningless drivel that is, for want of a better title, called 'Lightning'. 'Oh oh I know that it's a little bit frightening, we might as well be playing with lightning'. It is The Wanted's third Number 1 and we are now faced with the prospect of them chasing Westlife's fourteen chart toppers. And The Mozziah has had NONE! Where is the justice in THAT? The Mozziah, a man who has dedicated his life to the music business and record industry, not only in his adult years but as a young pent up glam rocker living in Stretford, spending every last penny on the offerings of T Rex & Sparks. And what reward has he had for this dedication to the industry? A Number 3 hit with his life anthem 'Irish Blood English Heart' and a Number 2 with 'Stop Me' , but no, not performed by The Mozziah, but a mashed up offering produced by Mark Ronson & 'sung' by Daniel Merriweather, whoever he is? NO NUMBER 1's. With manufactured pop now filling the charts to the rafters, The Mozziah's only hope of a Number 1 is probably if the anti X Factor brigade on Facebook decide to adopt him as their leader. Well it won't be this year, I am informed by those with this Facebook thingy, that this year the brigade have adopted Nirvana's 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'. Another band who've never had a Number 1. Of course The Mozziah's other best chance of reaching Number 1 would be posthumously, but there in lies another problem. When Michael Jackson died, the Top 100 was filled with fifty of the King of Pop's songs, but because the fans were grasping at everything, there was no focus on one particular track and unbelievably, MJ failed to hit the top spot. Man In The Mirror stalling at Number 2 was the closest of the fifty. It is therefore imperative, that if The Mozziah is to reach Number 1 posthumously, he needs to almost make a record 'Will', bequeathing the song he'd like us all to go out and download. And it's not that simple either, it has to be the same track from the same album, otherwise it will count as two separate songs. It's no good leaving it to the fans to decide which song to choose, the back catalogue is too vast and like Jackson, the pages of the catalogue will be pulled apart. For John Lennon it was obvious that 'Imagine' would be re-released and hit the top, similarly for George Harrison with 'My Sweet Lord', but The Mozziah's penchant for different record labels over the years will leave the various companies scrabbling to release whatever they can get their mitts on. The Mozziah needs to let it be known what he sees as the definitive song that he wants the world to remember him by. And if he doesn't, well it's 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out' for me, a cliche true but surely definitive? I have more to say on  'There Is A Light' in a minute but first of all, let's catch up on events. Following my 'visitations' from The Mozziah last Friday when he gave me the words; TROUBLE, MONSTER, ACTION, MURDER, LIGHT, I have spent the weekend resting, the events from the last few weeks had left me exhausted. (To help me rest, I purchased a new memory foam pillow, IT's FANTASTIC, and if anybody ever asks me to send them the pillow, the one that I dream on, my answer will be a swift, bugger off and buy your own, £79.99 from all the usual outlets.) I am now recharged and ready to re-follow The Mozziah, albeit on a less regular basis, as daily updates are currently not necessary, what with MorrisseysWorld being closed and all that. So, what happened after my last blog entry? Did The Mozziah give a 'sign' via 'True to You' that he likes my blogsite? Did he buggery, left me hanging out on a limb, more egg on my face than John Prescott on a walk about. But it wasn't The Mozziah's fault, it was a schoolboy error on my part. If he'd said he liked my blog, it would indicate that he read and approved of MorrisseysWorld, which of course he has denied, not once, not twice, but three times. Silly, silly me. The finality of my last blog entry and the closure of MorrisseysWorld brought about much sadness to the twitter community. Bucktoothedboy closed his account, as did HectorLector and I too closed The Pier for repairs. Many of the twitterers tweeted their sadness but The Mozziah was kind enough to tweet a message, a message that I believe was aimed at my schoolboy error, he said,  'I thought about it. But not for very long. That's just the way it goes'. Fully understood Mozziah, fully understood. So I am refreshed and back to serve The Mozziah and to spread his word. I briefly took time to look up 'The Virtual God Riley' on twitter and found the account @msjulie73. Obviously her name isn't Julia after all, I attempted to follow this owner of the True to You website but found I was blocked! Mysterious I thought. Some investigation revealed that she does not follow or have anything to do with the happenings on MorrisseysWorld and I believe she probably blocked me after I had a little dig about Johnny Marr's 'singing' voice. If she blocked me, did she block MW and DOES she actually know what is going on with MW? I have a sneaky feeling she has no idea. The Mozziah has asked her three times via True To You to deny he has anything to do with MW and I believe Julie(a) actually believes it. Arguing on MW continued until admin guy/moderator/Morrissey/Rusty Rocks put a stop to it and some anonymous person has also posted a long write up about the mysteries of the Blue Rose. I would guess the person who posted it is American as colour has been spelt color but it's still a nice piece. The blue rose, it would appear is full of mystery and intrigue. It represents love at first sight. Please take the time to google it, the person who posted the comment on MW certainly did and if they think for one minute that anyone believes they own a copy of 'Le Livre de L'Agriculture' by Ibn al Awam, they are wrong, unless of course it was The Mozziah who posted it, he has EVERY book. The blue rose, it appears, also symbolises the impossible or the unobtainable. Is this still a reference to Johnny Marr as I first interpreted or is there another meaning? And why do these roses keep popping up everywhere? Can this really be coincidence that roses seem to have SO much connection with The Mozziah? Even his name 'Morrissey' has the word 'rose' hidden within it, in fact, it is an anagram of 'My Rose is R'. Could The Mozziah's rose be Russell? Or does the fact that he has neglected his duties so very very badly mean the R is now Rat? Or is it neither of these two huge egos that are clambering for The Mozziah's attention and the R is in fact the dedicated twitter follower @RosyMires, who uncannily has a name that is an anagram of Morrissey? Only The Mozziah knows. And talking of roses, I am brought back to the song 'There is A Light That Never Goes Out'. Why was it given such a long title? Why was it never just called 'There is A Light'? I believe the answer lies in the whole title and the author of the words THERE IS A LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUT - MORRISSEY. An anagram of THE ROSE TOUR IS MY REVENGE. THAT ROSE IS A LIGHT. Revenge for what? If Justice Tugendhat fails to allow a court case, could the tour be revenge against him? I think not, I believe the case will go ahead and the tour is leading up to it. The 'Rose Tour', as it will be known, thanks to all the roses that will swamp every venue, will signal the start of the revenge towards Conor McNich*las, culminating in the trial at the end of the tour. Talking of McNich*las, he had started to follow me on twitter. Has he been reading everything on MW? Who knows, but I have blocked him. Go follow someone else you c*nt. (Sorry all, I'm really trying my best not to swear but what other word is there for this man?) So, 'THAT ROSE IS A LIGHT'. The divine light? The light of retribution that is coming the way of McNich*las? I am now starting to feel like Jane Seymour in Live & Let Die as I interpret all these signals and signs. The Mozziah continues to be like Anthony Perkins in Psycho as he dons his mother's twitter clothes but for the main part he is silent. His only other tweets of note were to do Bruce Forsyth impersonations and to tell me that he has invested the two euros he owes me. I asked him to stick it under the mattress, to which he replied, 'It is under the mattress, as am I.' The self deprecation continues, would we have him any other way?
  Enough for today, twitter has been full of the crowing City fans after the 6-1 drubbing of Man Utd yesterday, or as Banjaxer called it, Six in the City. And talking of Banjaxer, after all the intrigue, I deduce that MorrisseysWorld is a joint conception, in which The Mozziah is definitely involved, Rusty Rocks definitely contributes and Banjaxer, The Occupier, administrates and monitors. Others may well be involved, including the elusive and secretive Peter 'Uncle Skinny' Finan but for what ever reason, the collaborators have for now closed it down and the media refuse to believe it is true. I will continue to blog, when I have something to say and in seventeen days, 'The Rose Tour' will begin. Finally, I made contact with Joyce via twitter and asked him if I could ask him a question. He replied, 'Yep' but unfortunately I didn't see it. I have now replied, asking if he regrets suing The Mozziah. I await his reply....or block!
 SCORES ON THE DOORS:
1. Rusty Rockets 3,349,487 UP ABOUT 19,000 - PAH, ABSOLUTE PAH. Good article on NY streets though
2. Amanda Holden 729,660 UP 6,000 - Virtual Dog Walking does the trick
3. Johnny Marr 72,826 UP 700 - That man can play
4. MorrisseysWorld 3,554 UP 25 - Closed
5. Joyce 2,412 UP 25 - Yep
6. Me 1543 DOWN 22 - Waffling Soothsayer
7. Banjaxer 735 UP 9 - City fans
8. Mum 425 UP 4 - Hiding under the mattress
9. Bucktoothedboy Account disappeared
10. UpThePier 0 DOWN 21 - The Pier is closed
TheStoneRoses 21,705 UP 8,000 - Oh the suspense
 My blog stats show me that I have people from eight different countries reading my blog. They come from; UK, USA, Ireland, Austria, Australia, Italy, Germany and Russia. Following The Mozziahski, now there's a thought.

Friday, 21 October 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 37 Friday 21st October 2011

DEAR MOZZIAH, PLEASE HELP ME.

Well the title has taken on a new meaning since I wrote it. I was going to ask for help with that rampant rabbit Buck that you sent to us as your only begotten son. No wonder you sent him away, I bet he's already worked his way through everything that moves up there with you in Heaven, or infinity, or all aroundusville, or where ever it is you live? LA/London/Rome you say, is that around here? Bit of a mouthful. And what's the postcode of this LA/London/Rome place? Actually, in all seriousness, how does your Postman cope? What do the Royal Mail do with all the letters that are just addressed 'To The Mozziah'? Where do they send 'em? I mean, it's easy enough for Father Christmas, his all go to Lapland. I guess The Tooth Fairy at least has a PO Box Number, but what happens to your mail? Do they just sort them  in turns? One to LA, one to London, one to Rome or have you got your own 'special' postman who just gets on his bike and brings it to wherever you've told them you will be residing? And what about tour post? If any of us should need to write, do we just address it to The Mozziah, that coach parked outside The Plaza Condesa, Mexico City? And what if you aren't in the bus, does postie just stick it under the windscreen wiper? And how do you get permission to leave your bus on those double yellow lines all day at these places? All these questions Mozziah that we've wanted answered in all those interviews. All those interviews where you just say NOTHING. They're all scared stiff of you these interviewers. So overwhelmed by your presence, they ask you bugger all and you therefore tell 'em nothing. The only interesting thing anyone has ever gotten from you, is that your Mum's called Betty Dwyer, and that information was only gleaned because that Blithering Baggie Adrian Childs just presumed your mother was Mrs Morrissey, does he not realise we live in a broken society? No one has the same name as their mum anymore. When I was at school, the kids who's surnames were different to their mum's were bullied, picked on and called b*stards. Now if you're name is the 'same' as your Mum's you're a freak, unless of course you're at private school, oh yes, it's different there. The parents who've sacrificed everything to make sure their kids are given at least a half chance in this messed up society we once called Great Britain, they don't split up. Oh no, they work out their differences, pull together and keep their morals and values high. Middle Britain DOES still exist but the drawbridge is up and the Under class must stay away. Notice it's now Middle Britain, NOT Great Britain or Great Middle Britain? No, the Great disappeared a long long time ago. Did anyone actually notice exactly when it went? Was the 'Great Britain' flag lowered one night while none of us were looking, and a slightly moth eaten 'Britain' one erected in it's place? Well that one is now more than moth eaten, it's virtually decayed away, gone forever, but don't say that TOO loud or you'll be accused of racism, anti-nationalism and all sorts. NOBODY must speak their mind, and NOBODY is. I am that NOBODY, we're all THAT NOBODY and we're watching hopelessly as our country is falling apart. Hopeless & helpless. The World is falling apart and all we can do is gather with our own for any sort of comfort away from reality.
  0000(BST, When are those clocks going back?) Whatever made The Mozziah decide to build his blog is irrelevant, it is his modern day Temple, his Ark and he is gathering together his animals, two by two, four by four, the numbers are growing, the message is being spread. The believers are coming to the Ark. The work of the 'followers' must continue. But beware 'False Gods'. Beware the Anti-Mozziah who is trying to throw a veil over the coming of the true Mozziah. Beware the one who says, ' I am the Resurrection and I am the light', for these are false promises from a Man'i' made God. (I am SO SO sorry, but I really must stop at this point and not only pat myself on the back but take myself down the pub and buy myself a beer. 'Mani Made God?', Christ, that is THE funniest thing I've EVER read, and I wrote it! If there's ANY justice in this world, someone somewhere is surely going to read this in 3 months time, when it's all gone viral, and offer me a job! Now where was I ?, oh yes) Their coming will be quick and short lived. The real coming, the coming of the true Mozziah may take time. Rome wasn't built in a day, nor LA, nor London, but they were built eventually & old greedy guts bought houses in ALL of them, (Sorry Mozziah, unnecessary and uncalled for dig, you worked hard for them houses. No other bugger thought to write Our Frank, (not surprised), you deserve it sir, all of it. Sorry once again * thinks about deleting the last sentence in case Mozziah is in one of his 'Airport' moods, but decides against it in the hope that Mozziah might actually find it funny. Pauses for further thought, thinks about leaving the houses joke in, but changing the Our Frank reference to another song in case that happens to be one of The Mozziah's personal favorites. Can't think of a crap one, so decides to leave it in and hope for the best* ).
  Anyway, back to the very first line of this blog. Today I visited the MorrisseysWorld website and there, hidden in the comments section of the last message was this: ADMIN: 'Mozzer has long since left the building. Essays, including one from 'Russ' to be published after US tour. Owner has done all he can to publicise website & so have I. Now down to ConMorrissey Theorists. If nobody tells the So-lows, and nobody tells the media, and nobody tells anyone else, who knows what will happen at Oakland? Fate is in your hands'. This message was shortly followed by another which read, 'The owls are not what they seem. Treat one another kindly - you never know who you are talking to. Admin Guy'. Well I've no idea who the owls are, I guess So-lowers, but the 'nobody' mentioned three times is unfortunately me. It is the reference I used on day one of my blog and a reference I use when thanking people for their kind words about my blogging. The message from The Mozziah is that this can go on for as long or as short as WE want it to. Fate is in our hands. Either we invite people in or we don't, it's up to us. Do we try and get the attention of the so far deaf and mute twitter media, or do we leave them to their Football Manager? Shortly after posting the above messages, all previous blogs were taken down because The Mozziah's 'fans' started attacking and abusing each other in the way they apparently did on the website so-low. The VERY reason The Mozziah started HIS own site, for his genuine fans, is because he hated what had happened on So-low. And now the temple he had built for his people was being pulled down brick by brick, stone by stone from the inside. THIS IS NOT the wish of The Mozziah. But Mozziah, what is your wish? I am tired & need sleep and help. Dear Mozziah, Please Help Me.
    0400 BST Now you are going to HAVE to believe what I am just about to type, I haven't gone mad, this is genuinely all TRUE. Before going to bed, I took one quick peak in to twittersville and saw that I'd just missed @BucktoothedBoy, yes he the rampant rabbit. His tweets showed that he'd been blowing kisses to everybody, my God, he just can't help himself. I swear to you, he's taking this role as the new JC very seriously, and loving the accolade. Anyway, as I was saying, I'd missed him on twitter, but he'd left me a youtube message. It was Asleep by The Smiths. I took heed of the words and went to bed. And here I am now, it is 4am and I, the man who hasn't had a dream in a long time, have woken full of messages and instructions from The Mozziah. I can't get them written down quick enough. Firstly, I have five words screaming at me; Trouble, Action, Monster, Murder, Light. Many of you will recognise them, they are five of The Mozziah's song titles. I believe they are to represent the final five songs of the set list on tour. TROUBLE Loves Me is an anagram meaning 'LOVE MT BLUE ROSE'. Those roses really do get everywhere. The empty blue rose, I believe is a Man City supporter. I could be wrong, but I think it's Johnny Marr. ACTION is My Middle Name, I believe will be the new single, released on either the London or Fontana record label. A MONSTER, is an anagram of AN MT ROSE. Another bloody rose. November Spawned an MT ROSE I believe is a self reference to The Mozziah starting the tour bereft of roses and concerned his message is lost & nobody will bring roses to the concerts, but Mozziah, NOBODY will bring roses, we are NOBODY, they will come. MURDER is of course Meat Is MURDER. I believe this will be the last song of the main set. The three crashes of the large cymbal will signal the end of the song, the back drop will turn from white to red, The Mozziah will pause before leaving the stage and this is the cue for roses to be thrown to the stage. The band will then leave the stage. LIGHT, I believe represents the song There Is A LIGHT That Never Goes Out. It is The Mozziah's true defining song, the one that the fans never want to be cliche enough to say is their favorite, but it is just known it is THE song. As the encore, it is saying that we are United as a group, those that believe in The Mozziah are as one with him. it is HIS song for HIS people. (Heavy stuff eh?) I don't believe there is a desperate hurry to spread the word in full, it can grow. Old JC didn't have a million followers overnight, 'It Takes Time' (Hold on, I swear I'm not making this up, I am being TOLD to google these words, so I will *Pause* It Takes Time is a Patti Smith song, I HONESTLY have never heard of this song. The Mozziah is telling us to play it and LISTEN to the words.)  The message DOES NOT need to come before Chicago, Oakland or indeed Guadalajara, the message is already being passed and the message will grow, the roses will flow. Some may not find The Mozziah for 2000 years, long after the physical self has gone and his three homes turned to rubble (although plot value should be pretty good in 2000 years, all prime locations and all that). The World Won't Listen you say Mozziah? They will, they will, they will. The true word can be delivered in many ways, whether through a High Court, A stage,Twittersville, newspapers, radio, TV or in the VERY best way possible Mozziah, through your 'singing' voice. (Thank Christ Marr ain't the Marrsiah, there'd have been no hope! Sorry. Sorry. Pathetic, I know. Cheap and pathetic, funny though). Oh and Mozziah, if The Buck Toothed Boy is your postman, just be careful, he's got previous for nicking mail. I am now going to go back to bed, but there is one last thought nagging in my head, why did Amanda Holden send a tweet yesterday saying 'Please walk my virtual dog Riley'. Now what the hell can that mean?
   Anyway, a quick update before I go back to bed, back to MorrisseysWorld blogsite, twitter, the followers, the Twitterdilly Palare etc. What a carry on. Old Buck is flirting with anything that moves, he's even had a nibble at me. I know there's this 'We must all love each other' attitude with these religions, but old Buckster's taking it far too literally for my liking. Mind you, I've probably brought a bit of it on myself. It's alright during the day when I'm out there in twittersville as 'The Rats Back', but of an evening I've taken to wearing my 'Up The Pier' costume, and it would appear (a pier, geddit? no you're right, lame, and this writing lark had all been going so well) it brings out the dandy in me. I wouldn't want to be accused of leading anyone up the garden path, let alone up the pier, round the dodgems and behind the candy floss stall, so I will play a bit harder to get with old Buck and see if he loses interest. I'm afraid my Big Hope, 'Journalist Josh' has let me down, he seems more interested in Football Manager 2012, which incidentally is out today and available at all the usual High St (or internet these days if your High St has disappeared) stockists. Viner never came back despite the winking and not a peep from Josh's mate Andy from The Sun who is probably nursing a hangover from yesterday. I bet he was useless in the pub quiz too! Chicory Tip, who'd have thought?
 Nothing else to report, I have at last bought Nothing Rhymed on itunes. I had to wait until they released 'The Berry Vest Of Gilbert O'Sullivan'. Clever title eh? And now I MUST get some sleep, I am SO tired. *Smiles to one's self yet again* 'Mani Made Gods', bloody funny that.
  0800 I just DON'T believe this, remember the Amanda Holden message, the one I presumed was just a meaningless tweet? 'Walk My Virtual DOG Riley'. Dog is an anagram of God. The virtual God, not a real God but the one we rely on in internet world for the 'true' word, the virtual God is Riley, Julia Riley, the owner of TRUE-TO-YOU.net. We are to walk with Julia. I therefore ask one thing of The Mozziah, one LAST sign before the tour. Please acknowledge MY blog on True To You by saying you like it, which SHOULD bring ALL your fans here, and if they bother to read it from the start, they WILL BELIEVE. The WHOLE story is here in this blog. Mozziah, do this one thing for me, release me from this blog, I REALLY can't keep it going. All of you reading this, IT IS ALL TRUE, WEAR YOUR ROSES TO THE CONCERTS, ONLY WHITE OR RED ROSES WHICH MUST BE DEVOID OF THORNS. THROW YOUR ROSE ON TO THE STAGE AT THE END OF MEAT IS MURDER.
 And now, hopefully, My work is done. I hope you have all enjoyed reading my blog, I have enjoyed writing it. I am a NOBODY, we are all NOBODY and soon The Mozziah will come.

Thursday, 20 October 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 36 Thursday 20th October 2011

STONE THE  CROWSES

What the hell is all this excitement about The Stone Roses reforming? The amount of press they're getting, the fervour among the music journos, I just don't get it. How many work of art pieces of poetry have they ever written? How many albums did they actually do? Do you know, I honestly believe I can only name two of their songs; Fools Gold and Waterfall, oh and the one about straps cutting me like a knife. Nope, just googled it, that's Fools Gold too. That's too, not two. Not like Gary Glitter's Rock & Roll Parts 1 & 2. Or indeed Ian Dury's Reasons to be Cheerful, part three. What happened to parts one & two of that song? Now, Ian Dury, that's a comeback gig I would get excited about! Clever Trevor, Clever Bastards, Hit Me With Your Clever Stick, clever bloke that Dury. Ian Dury, 'injury', do you get it? All the Punks were at it you know, false names. Johnny Rotten, Sid Vicious, Poly Styrene and of course, my old squash partner Ed Banger, real name, Edmund Garrity. I met Ed many years after his Slaughter & The Dogs and Nosebleeds days and he was the mildest, nicest guy you could ever wish to meet. I've met a number of 'old rockers' over the years and the beauty of them is that they always believe there's a comeback just around the corner. When I met Eddie, he was playing in a duet called Blue Caboose, playing Rod Stewart songs on the pub circuit. I had no idea he had once been the guy that my hero, 'The Mozziah', had probably once looked up to. I've never heard The Mozziah mention Ed but Ed was a huge part of the Manchester music scene just as The Mozziah was trying to make it. It is well documented that The Mozziah took over from Ed when he left The Nosebleeds but I remember when, as an excited 21 year old, I asked Ed if he actually KNEW Morrissey? He told me they'd never met. I had missed the whole of the Manchester punk scene, with the exception of the mainstream bands like The Buzzcocks, who'd made it on to Top of The Pops. Ed always said the Buzzcocks weren't really part of the 'proper' scene anyway, he'd say, 'They're from bloody Bolton'. I still have my copy of Promises in it's black and purple picture cover, and of course the back catalogue that I then 'had' to go and seek out, including the superb 'What Do I Get'.  But as I said, I'd missed the whole Manchester punk scene and had no idea that this squash playing, Rod Stewart singing, mild mannered man, was in fact one of THE main players from that time. For the few years that I knew Eddie, and his wife Lyn, he would play me his old records and show me the photos, beautiful photos of spit flying through the air at him. I asked him what he thought of the spit thing, he said he didn't even stop to think about it, it was just the thing you did. The crowd spat at him, he spat back. The crowd threw beer bottles, he threw them back, and that's how he got his name. I don't want to think about how John Lydon got his! Eddie had a whole box of the record 'I've Just Had my Car Nicked', I don't think sales had been that great, and Ed kindly signed one and gave it to me, along with a signed copy of the catchy ditty, 'Kinnel Tommy', go on youtube it, you won't regret it, and if you do, put on 'Where Have All The Boot Boys Gone', which you really won't regret! Despite having the experience of trawling through Ed's life, I didn't appreciate it back then, after all, he was just the bloke from Blue Caboose who used to beat me 5-0 at squash every week. I was disappointed that Ed had never met The Mozziah, The Smiths at that time were (as they & The Mozziah still are) my life. They were everything. I think Ed tired of me going on and on about The Mozziah but on one occasion when I was rabbiting on about the Smiths, Ed said to me, and this is honestly true, 'Although I never knew him, I knew people who knew him, and they told me he was different. They said he was a poet and by all accounts, an absolute f*cking genius'. It takes one to know one, I miss Ed and hope he is doing okay after his illness. I always got the feeling Ed thought that The Mozziah had taken his crown, but God he was a good squash player....and yet another f*cking City fan! Stone Roses? I'll be washing my hair.
 So, let's catch up on yesterday, it didn't go viral, no surprises there, young Josh was too busy at the launch of Football Manager 2012 with his mate @ajhalls1, a guy called Andy Halls who is a trainee journalist at The Sun. AJ tweeted, 'At launch of Football Manager 2012, free food, beer and a pub quiz,  yes please'. Now I'm not being funny, but if that was on offer to me, I too wouldn't have bothered with a major scoop about a secret website belonging to a Global superstar either. Anyway, back to my yesterday, not Josh & Andy's, although, I wonder what the pub quiz was about? Shit, I wish I was a trainee journo. I wonder if there were any questions on 70's pop? What if they asked, 'What was the first number 1 single to have a synthesizer played on it?' *Puts hand up* 'Miss, miss, me miss, me miss, was it Are Friends Electric by Tubeway Army? *Looks smug* 'What do you mean Chicory Tip's Son of My Father? Bol*ocks'. Where was I? Oh yes, to my second home, the internet. First stop, MorrisseysWorld. Since it 'closed' on Sunday I hadn't been checking it out as oft I should, so I took a peak. Now I get the feeling someone is definitely playing tricks on me. I am sure I'd read every little scrap but I found even more articles, including the ones mentioned by Bruce Springsteen in my blog yesterday. Is someone adding these and back dating them? If that is the case, has this site really been going two years or has material been added and just given an old date? Either way, the added content is honestly among the funniest things I have ever, ever read. The Mozziah, if it is him who is writing this stuff, although I now believe some of it is Brand, is an absolute comic genius. Perhaps a team of like minded geniuses? Talking of which, you may have noticed that my own writing has improved beyond belief since I started this blog. MorrisseysWorld has inspired me to write, write stuff that has been locked up inside me for years. Yesterday on twitter, Russell Brand made me cry. Not with laughter, proper cry. A regular tweeter called @StillICling asked me if I was a professional writer? Old Buck jumped in first and posted, 'I'll answer that one, yes.' Russell Brand thinks I am a professional writer. I'm crying again now at the compliment, I'm not lying. An emotional wreck, well okay not the full wreck but a scratch to the bonnet at least. The truth is, I should've written for a career, I honestly believe that, but the reason I never did is because I never needed to, I was never pushed. (I am releasing information about myself that I never intended to but the anonymity of a blog is great for 'letting it all flood out', I recommend it). You see, I became financially comfortable by thirty five, thanks to boyish good looks and charm. No, I wasn't a rent boy, alright, just charm, oh and an astute business brain. And no, I'm not rolling in it rich, merely comfortable, I therefore simply didn't need, and couldn't be bothered, to write. It's oft said that money goes to money and there is a lot of truth in that. Once you have a bit of money, if you use it wisely, it allows you to make more money. If you have nothing, it is hard to get out of the gutter. At the beginning of '85 (yes, Meat is Murder time), I was penniless and on the dole. I pulled myself from the gutter, actually that's unfair, it wasn't a gutter, far too middle class for that, I pulled myself from the havens of my comfortable & penniless bed and slowly 'made my way'. I would imagine, that like money, the same can be said about writing. Whether as a poet, a song writer, a script writer or a comedian, that first piece of work is the hardest. It may take a long time to make it from the gutter or comfy bed, but when you have made it, it is far easier to keep making it. Surely the best historical evidence of this is Adam Ant's 'Ant Rap'. Having had two of the biggest selling number 1 records ever; Stand & Deliver and Prince Charming, Monsieur Ant followed it up with one of the worst songs in the history of vinyl, and yet it still reached number 3 and sold bucket loads. The first million is always the hardest. So lodged away inside my head, is an In betweeners style sitcom for thirty five year olds, dozens and dozens of songs,  (although it has to be said that most of those were from the 1980's and are firmly stored away at the very back of my head. Of course it isn't always good to let 'everything' slip out of your brain, go and Youtube Seona Dancing and you'll see what I mean. That could've been me!)  and also the whole stage musical of The Life of Brian. I still have to work daily to earn a living & anyway, even if I didn't have to, what else would I do all day? The honest answer is, I've just been too lazy to write, that is until I found a subject that has given me the passion, a passion that, for most of you reading this, is a passion just like yours. And this brings me on to my second outpouring of tears yesterday, how can you go months and months without crying and then have two bouts in one day? Tiredness doesn't help! I read Russell Brand's story from Q magazine entitled, 'Why I Love The Smiths'. I don't buy Q and had never read this article, which was printed last August. I read it through twice and burst out crying, Brand you b*stard, I wish I'd written that!
 Right, tears dried, pathetic girlyness over, back to the reason we're all here, The Mozziah. As I was saying earlier, I had visited MorrisseysWorld and was trawling through the comments on the last article and there, written on the 18th Oct by Anonymous was this entry, 'Ghost of Bobby Driscoll calling.....When can you have me on the Big-Screens at your show Morrissey? Nico, Jobriath, Elvis too. Good night and thank you.' Now I know for a fact that a lot of these anonymous comments are actually the writer, ie Morrissey/Brand/Mikey What's his name, you know, the guy in the Bans Committee thing who doesn't seem to have featured in the plot at all, Bracewell, that's it *pats self on back* so it makes sense to presume, this 'Screen request/prediction' has been placed for us to see, YES, a sign. Although as Esther Rantzen used to say, 'unless of course, you know different'. * Turns to the left* 'Cyril'. (I'm sorry to all the Under 40's, you'll have to find that one out for yourselves). 'Cyril' they cry, 'Who's Cyril'?
 And finally Esther, What exactly was ODyrbrm? Well, in the words of Beyonce, to the left, to the left everything you want in a box to the left. Got it yet? Right, eyes down (literally -YOUR PC KEYBOARD) and look in. (I love bingo me). O, go 1 step left on your keyboard = I. D, one step left =S. y, one step left = t. As Rolf would say, 'Do you know what it is yet? r, one step left = e, b =v, r = e and finally m = n. ODyrbrm = I Steven. I must have been a wally to have missed that one, if nan were alive, she'd turn in her grave ; )
*Goes off singing* That's life, that's what all the people say, you're riding high in April, shot down in May.

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

AT HOME WITH THE BOSS

AT HOME WITH THE BOSS
 (A Ranch, somewhere in New Jersey)
(Camera pans to Bruce Springteen, who is sat on the large kingsized bed in discoloured jogging bottoms & a Shoplifters of the World Unite, food stained, t shirt. He is hunched over his laptop. He is unshaven).
BRUCE: (Shouting) Patti, Patti come quick, Morrissey's STILL not back on the blog thing yet but I've found dozens more pages. Patti, quick, come see this fabricated video interview, it's dated May 15th, how did I miss it, I thought I'd read EVERYTHING.
Mrs Springsteen enters the room.
PATTI: Bruce honey, Bruce, you've been in bed now for over a week. The tv people are getting a bit annoyed. *Patti looks sheepishly towards the camera and then looks off screen towards the director*
Bruce honey, if you don't get off that Morrissey website thing and actually DO something, they're talking about stopping filming. Bruce, are you listening to me? Bruce, the American public DO NOT want to watch a fly on the wall, warts and all documentary about you in bed reading a blogsite about f*cking Morrissey. For f*cks sake Bruce, put the frigging computer down and DO something.
BRUCE: Patti, they wanted real life, this IS frickin real. I'm telling you it's frickin real, it IS Morrissey. *Calls to Dave the director* Dave, Dave, come see this. Dave come see this. It's called Excerpt from the autobiography: Celebrity Fans. Holy F*ck, it's dated May 14th, how did I miss it? How the f*ck did I miss this one? Eight f*cking days I've been sat in this stinking bed reading this blog and still I find more. Jeez Dave, this autobiography piece is THE f*cking funniest thing I've read since, well since the Bans Committee thing.
*Sound of equipment being packed up*
DAVE: I'm sorry Mrs Springsteen but we've had Jon Bon Jovi's people on the phone and they've agreed to us going over there instead. Jon's talking about paragliding in a chicken suit and everything.
BRUCE: Hold up, hold up, my creative juices are flowing, Morrissey's Wildean wit is influencing me. *Turns to Patti and whispers* What's Wildean actually mean sugar?
PATTI: I think it's something to do with the dead poet's society or something, I'll ask Robin Williams.
BRUCE: *Picking up guitar* Listen Dave, listen to this. *singing, to the tune of Born in the USA* Bored in the U S A, I was bored in the U S A. *stops singing* Morrissey will love that one. Or how about this, I've been thinking, I need to broaden my fan base, I need to get the gays coming to my concerts. The gays, they all love Morrissey, especially the Mexican ones. How does he frickin do it? Dave, listen to this one *Picks up guitar again and starts singing to the tune of Born to Run* 'Cause tramps like us, Baby we were born to rim.
*Sound of door closing shut*
BRUCE: *muttering under his breath* C*nts.

Following The Mozziah Day 35 Wednesday 19th October 2011

WHY JUSTICE TUGENDHAT WILL LET THE MOZZIAH SUE & WHY HE'LL WIN

0030 BST: After the debacle of the Judge Weeks case, in which The Mozziah lost & was told to pay 'Static Joyce' 1 million pound, you may feel my headline is a bit optimistic and hopeful. Well I disagree, I've got a good feeling that at last, at last, at last, The Mozziah is going to be judged on by a man from an intelligent background. After reading Josh Halliday's well written and informative report of day two of The Mozziah's libel court hearing, in which the outcome was that Justice Tugendhat will deliver his verdict in a couple of weeks as to whether or not there will be a trial, I spent most of Tuesday afternoon, in between twittering with Old Bugsy (more of that later) and doing some actual REAL work, by googling and researching Michael Tugendhat, his brother Christopher & the family background. Tugendhat's father emigrated to Britain after the First World War from Austria. Sir Michael Tugendhat is highly respected and, as a QC, acted for the likes of David Beckham and Michael Douglas. As a Judge, he has overturned 'super injunctions' by John Terry and lifted Fred Goodwin's gagging order. Sir Michael's brother Christopher is a former Tory MP (Good thing Cameron never got the concert ban, I was right to vote against it), but more interestingly, he is also an author who wrote a book entitled 'Options For British Foreign Policy In The 90's'. Now, although I have 'speed read' as much of the book as I can, I can't claim to understand fully the concept of the book, but it does seem to question the changing identity of Britain by such things as immigration. It would appear to be a well balanced book, playing Devil's Advocate as to how Britain is likely to be affected. Although written for the 90's, a lot of it seems to be on going and still ringing true. It talks about how Britain still hasn't decided how it sees itself with borders being broken down. It proves that intelligent people can discuss the effect mass immigration can have on a country without being branded racist. I obviously don't know the Tugendhat's as I don't know The Mozziah, but I glean that Justice Tugendhat is from an open minded background where fair play is important. I truly believe this man will see that The Mozziah has been wrongly branded a racist by Conor McNich*las and that he will not only be given his day(s)/weeks in court, but he will win and once and for all, clear his name. This is a huge, huge risk for The Mozziah as the financial implications are massive. This would be the biggest libel hearing in front of a jury for 3 years. But it is a risk that anybody would take to put the record straight, not slightly less crooked, straight.
 We are missing The Mozziah! It is now day three since MorrisseysWorld was closed for what we hope will only be a short break, more a bank holiday in Eastbourne than a fortnight in Benidorm. Regular follwers are sticking together on twitter and some have even resorted to in house fighting. There are doubters and there are extremists. A couple of tweets came from The Mozziah, with slighted reference to the court hearing, but no intercourse. I feel the hidden messages on twitter are the modern equivalent of Palare, a Twitterdilly Palare. I kept a twitter window half a jar and jumped in and out throughout the day. I exchanged tweets with all the regulars, tried to entice a bit of banter with my former self, Amanda Holden, but she was having none of it and posted some you tube clips of various songs, mainly Mozziah ones like Trouble Loves Me, but also Night Boat To Cairo by Madness and Jeff Buckley's version of 'I Know It's Over', which incidentally has a red rose right at the end, a sign? Twitterers were getting very excited about The Stone Roses reforming, I really really don't get it. The Roses opened a twitter account, @thestoneroses and within an hour it had 6,000 followers and by the end of the day, over 11,000. Where's the mystery and intrigue in THAT? Anybody could do that, it takes far more planning to be an International mega star on twitter for 2 years and only have 400 followers. Other twitter 'highlights' included an Adam Ant concert review posted by @Uncleskinny, in which Adam Ant is alleged to have referred to The Mozziah as 'that f*cking idiot'. Now I used to like old Adam Ant, he not only produced some good post punk songs, but as pop songs go, Prince Charming is a classic. Don't laugh, I'm being serious, and even if you are laughing, ridicule is nothing to be scared of. Now, I believe Boz Boorer to be a close friend of Adam Ant so I feel that when MW is back open, we need an explanation from the Ant or he faces a concert ban. What's his problem with The Mozziah? I can only guess it's jealousy, as it is plain to see, that alas, Mr Ant can no longer hold a note. Check out You Tube. (STILL MORE TO COME, INCLUDING SOME BUCK ESCAPADES, PLEASE CHECK BACK LATER).
WE'RE GOING VIRAL
0500 BST *Singing, rather loudly* Wednesday morning at 5 0'clock as the day begins. So, the best part of my day yesterday involved the old Lamb of God himself, Russell Brand. I had tweeted a message from the genius Richard Dawkins, the man who is the re-incarnation of Charles Darwin. Dawkins & Darwin are the equivalent scientific double act to The Mozziah & Wilde of our world. Dawkins, who mustn't be confused with the former Smiths drummer Stephen Hawking, is my 'other' hero. Obviously he's not in the same league hero wise as The Mozziah but if events had taken a different twist and it had been Dawkins and not The Mozziah who had started a secret blog on the internet, you could now be reading 'Following the Dawk'. Anyway, back to the plot, Old Buck Toothed Boy picked up on my tweet, (after I'd already had a little bit of an exchange with my favorite prodruding gnashered friend about his local winery following him, oh the irony of a teetotaller being given away on twitter by a vineyard, there's definitely some stand up material in there) and called Richard Dawkins the Abu Hamza of atheism. A witty retort I thought because to be honest, although I believe every word Dawkins says, he isn't the most convincing and dynamic of people. Let's face it, despite overwhelming evidence that the earth is 4.55 billion years old and not the 6,000 years old that the Christian faith believe it to be, (oh you didn't know that? Where were the dinosaurs living you ask? Saturn, or perhaps Southampton, both are alien planets undiscovered by human life) Dawkins has still failed to convince the world he is right. You'd have thought that when Galileo put together his first telescope and realised that it was planets and stars sitting above the clouds and not a man with a big fluffy beard and some rather nicely crafted gates, that the world would've collectively shrugged their shoulders and said, 'Well we got that one wrong'! But no, still the 'intelligent' world believes in it's hundreds of different Gods, talking of which, back to mine, or for now, his buck toothed stand in. That's a good point actually, if The Mozziah is God, Bucky can be Jesus, The Lamb of God, a role I'm sure he could play well ; ) (Note to self, Christ you're good, you should be getting paid for this). And now back to twotter. I sent a tweet to @JoshHalligan, the young G*ardian reporter who had done a good job of reporting The Mozziah's court hearing, to congratulate him on his straight report without a 'slant'. He replied by asking if I was being sarcastic and what slant. Halligan, it has to be noted, had earlier in the day tweeted to say that his favorite album of all time is.... Meat is Murder. We have to start believing here that G*ardian HQ only has one CD or perhaps Kath Viner has taken young Josh under her mother hen wing and is force feeding him with Smiths classics, let's just hope she allows him to LISTEN to the words and interpret them for himself. I have high hopes for Josh and have pointed him in the direction of not only MorrisseysWorld blog, but also here. If he uses his journalistic skills properly, he'll expose us, he'll have a great scoop for The G*ardian and we will go viral (yes I know, I know!) I have already pointed both Kath Viner and Rhian Jones in our direction but neither have come up with the goods.
 Anyway, enough (too much) for today, a day in which it has just been announced that Bob A Job is to return. I can't work out if this is the Government's latest initiative to get everybody called Robert back in employment or the new minimum wage!
 I will record the 'Scores on the doors' later as a point of record because I have just noticed that Josh Halligan is following me. That should mean he's done his homework. He will take this story to Kath and The G*ardain will send it viral. Buck me old mucker, if this means the end of your involvement, it's been a blast. I hope it won't be, just follow the three golden rules, DENY DENY DENY, oh and stop visiting vineyards x

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 34 Tuesday 18th October 2011

HERE'S HOPING THAT JUSTICE TUGENDHAT ISN'T LONELY

Congratulations to G*ardian reporter Josh Halliday for just reporting the 'facts' from yesterday's court hearing. We can now see why MorrisseysWorld has temporarily closed, The Mozziah's lawyers were in court yesterday arguing why their client should be allowed to have a High Court hearing against the NME & it's former editor, Conor McNich*las. Today, Britain's most senior libel judge, Justice Tugendhat, will give his decision as to whether The Mozziah should be allowed to have his day in court, which if he does, will be next Summer. Now I know I am bound to be biased, but looking at the evidence, there is no way that Justice Tugendhat will decline a High Court hearing. From yesterday's transcript, the NME's lawyer, Catrin Evans, already looks weak in her argument and as long as The Mozziah's team know their stuff, the actual case will be a formality. I personally feel The Mozziah has no need to go to court, the people who really matter to him; his family, friends and fans don't need a High Court judge to tell us what we already know. The song 'National Front Disco' looks from it's title to hold racial connotations but if only the masses had bothered to 'open the book' and actually LISTEN to the words, they would realise that this song sits side by side with Lennon & McCartney's 'She's Leaving Home', and I don't remember any racist allegations there. Ms Evans yesterday brought up the 'Chinese' debate, but seeing as a layman like me has been able to rip that to shreds, The Mozziah's lawyers are going to have a field day with Ms Evans. It would appear that she too, like McNich*las has just picked out words to make headlines and has not read full sentences.

  A court hearing next summer will be distracting and draining for The Mozziah, at a time when he should be writing and playing live music, but he feels the need to carry this through and I for one cannot blame him. It's nothing to do with money & The Mozziah knows he has nothing to prove to the three F's (Family-Friends-Fans), this is purely and simply about 'Fair Play', 'Right & Wrong'. I have tried to write this with balance and thought but I now have one last thing to say, I feel these words are being given to me by the Mozziah. They are of course words that he himself would be unable to say in print and for those of you of a nervous disposition, please look away now. *Pause* Conor McNich*las you are a ***t and you are about to get yours, enjoy Christmas, but don't spend too much. And now let's just hope that the British legal system is as honest and fair as we hope it should be.

LIFE IS VERY LONG WHEN YOU'RE SO-LOW NLY

And now to my good name, which has again been slandered by 'anonymous' on MorrisseysWorld. Somebody is really at loggerheads with themselves, they just cannot get their head around the fact that this whole phenomenon is happening. While all around have embraced it for what it is, this one person lurks in the shadows, he wants to be part of it but is scared to admit it could possibly be true. This person, who I will call Hank (in the Shadows, get it?) will have read and re-read every little scrap on the MorrisseysWorldblog, has trawled through my blog and is watching every tweet that the 'believers' make and yet Hank still doesn't believe. But it's not his fault. Because Hank decided early on that this wasn't real, it would hurt too much to concede now. Rather than looking at the evidence, such as; the predictions that came true, the unmistakable Wildean wit of the tweets, the unbelievable insight of the writings on the MorrisseysWorld blog, and the photos on twitter, Hank is only looking for flaws, flaws that will prove him right. The flaws he threw at me before, were that I'd admitted to using twitter  under pseudonyms. This is something I brought up and explained in full as to why I'd done it. The allegation now from Hank is that I mustn't be trusted because I've started following 'fake' celebs on twitter. A heinous crime, but aren't most celebs fake anyway Hank? And there is also method in my madness. The eagle eyed among you would've noticed that I've mentioned these fake celebs before. I then dismissed them, but let's just say, I've got my eye on one that I don't believe to be fake, one who has changed their user name since I mentioned it in my blog. The other fakes I'm following are just background music. If Hank had been watching my twitter account more carefully, he'd have noticed that I've already stopped following some of them because they clog my twitter timeline with the most annoying drivel you've ever read, it's Richard Madeley all over again. I may be losing one or two of you here, but others may wish to take a look at the fakes and tell me what they see. And you thought Log Lady was mysterious! Anyway, regardless of whether I've lost the plot looking at twitter accounts, Hank me old fruit, it's now time to either accept that the evidence is indisputable or, in the words of The Mozziah in Odense, "Go, Go, we don't need you, Go." But before you go, and I know you won't, because you can't, go and have a look at the backdrop photo on my twitter page. It is a photo, posted by the Mozziah of his, as yet, unpublished diary. Look at the handwriting Hank, handwriting that any TRUE fan will recognize beyond any doubt, to be The Mozziah's. Oh and Hank, 'It takes guts to be gentle and kind'.
    I would guess that Hank is a regular user of the website Morrissey-solo.com, or as The Mozziah calls it So-Low, you may have seen him donning a t shirt with the catchy slogan FU*K SO-LOW. I have to say, when I saw the images of the band all wearing these shirts I was shocked and mystified. I had no idea The Mozziah had such hatred for the website, a website that every Mozziah fan I know, uses as a reference point for the songs performed at each concert. I'd read that the owner of the site, a guy called David Tseng, had been banned from Mozziah concerts. I had no idea what this dedicated fan could've done to possibly upset the Mozziah so much. Having now read the hilariously satirical 'Bans Committe Minutes' on MorrisseysWorld, I now understand The Mozziah's anger. Mr T*seng himself had committed no crime, he just failed to stop 'trolls' using his website. Trolls who anonymously leave hateful, spiteful, slanderous comments. Mr T*eng, whose dedication as a Mozziah fan cannot be doubted, was given plenty of opportunity to put things right and moderate his website properly. He didn't, and now his fifteen years of hard labour and love are going down the pan. I for one will not be using So-Low as a reference point anymore, I believe every detail of every concert will be on MW, and 'fans' will be allowed to comment. Fans, not Hanks. And when the 'sign' comes and the masses run to MorrisseysWorld, the lid will close on So-low.
STOP PRESS: I have just googled Justice Tugendhat, his father was an Austrian immigrant and The G*ardian newspaper love him. Let's just prey that HE too is able to read the sentences and not just the headline making words.

Monday, 17 October 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 33 Monday 17th October 2011

JOEY BARTON PROVES ME RIGHT

And there we all were thinking that was the end of my blog! The very fact that you're reading this means, I've been given a 'sign'. More of that in a minute, but firstly, I forgot to mention yesterday, that Mum (@Morrisseysmum) has been handed back to her son and heir, and '@ODyrbrm' has left the building (although I immediately registered that account to stop anybody else using it). The Mozziah's first tweet of the day (as @morrisseysmum) read, "@TheRatsBack You were so helpful. It is appreciated." His second tweet of the day was simply "157". His third tweet was a quote from footballer Joey Barton (with The Mozziah's own comment added after the SJP bit), it read "@Joey7Barton: Loving The Smiths 'Everyday is like Sunday' on at SJP...Easy mistake to make I suppose."

Let me explain these three tweets for anybody who may have been wondering what they meant. The first one is fairly self explanatory, it's the 'sign' that I asked for at the end of my blog entry yesterday. The Mozziah telling me that my involvement in the Kath Viner incident was appreciated, and that my blog was still being read. The second tweet, I believe, is in reference to my blog entry mentioning the 150 promo copies of 'Glamorous Glue', and it is The Mozziah telling me that there were in fact 157 copies made (although no indication was given as to whether one can be exchanged for a 2 euro coin with a smiley face on it!). The third tweet referred to the Newcastle vs Spurs game at SJP (St James' Park) played yesterday lunchtime. As the players were warming up, The Mozziah's 'Everyday is like Sunday' was blasting out over the sound system. Obviously Joey tweeted about it & mistook it for a Smiths song, which proves EXACTLY what I'd said in my blog only yesterday morning, that all Morrissey solo songs ARE indeed all Smiths songs, there is NO difference.

 So, a sign has been sent, 'and here I am'. Fear not that MorrisseysWorld has temporarily closed for business, the work of The Mozziah goes on and the gospel will continue to be spread. I have to say, I presumed MorrisseysWorld had shut the doors due to a tweet from our old friend Kath Viner to The Mozziah on twitter. She blew him a kiss, which I interpreted to mean that she was on to the blogsite and was about to run a story in the G*ardian, but so far, nothing. Did The Mozziah also presume she was on to him, or is he merely too busy to keep the blog going on a daily basis? Was the extra work too much for the 'Mancunian Writers, Rockers & City Loving Massive' who I wrote about yesterday? Whatever the reason, MorrisseysWorld is not currently in production and I will continue to do my best to offer something in it's place.

The hits to my blogsite, have now reached 1,100 in the two and a bit weeks it has been going, so somebody, somewhere is reading it! Before closing the doors on MW, messages & instructions were left on the blogsite, saying that, "roses need to be thrown on to the stage at the USA concerts at the end of the main set, before the encore." The Mozziah has also promised to 'appear' with a rose before Christmas. I believe this will either be on one of the two US television shows or in an interview. I don't believe The Mozziah will actually wear a rose, that would be too obvious. I also believe, that if The Mozziah is asked by a journalist why there are so many roses at his concert, he will simply deny any knowledge. He's a clever swine this Mozziah of ours. Who else could've created such mystery and intrigue?

 Yesterday was a weird day for us disciples who use twitter & follow MorrisseysWorld. With the closure of the MW blog, you'd have thought he had died. Obituaries were being left by everybody, saying how much they would miss him. I again listened to Meat is Murder, but this time on Youtube with live footage from 1985. Eventually The Mozziah tweeted (with the aforementioned tweets as 'Mum') and the mood lightened a bit. God knows how we'd cope if he DID actually die, thank God he's eternal! I spent the evening away from Mozziah life, but returned to twitter at witching hour in the new guise of '@UpThePier'.

'UpThePier' is a new account, and my own personal tribute to The Mozziah, as a reminder of when I touched his left knee up the pier at Gt Yarmouth. The website 'PassionsJustLikeMine.com' (a superb site that has lots of Mozziah information), has a section that lists every concert that The Mozziah has ever played, and also lists not only the setlist from each concert, but comment about the crowd, and particularly STAGE INVADERS.

On May 15th 2009 at Great Yarmouth Pier, according to 'Passions', "The crowd was very receptive, and a few fans tried to make it on stage, but no one was successful". I can tell you from the bruises, that ONE PERSON WAS SUCCESSFUL, and here is my tale: As many of you reading this will know, it is a tradition of Morrissey fans to try and get onto the stage at his concerts, but over the years it has gotten harder. It's a double edged sword for The Mozziah, because he genuinely seems to enjoy the fan's attempts to stage invade, but he has to be aware of security and 'his' security TAKE NO PRISONERS. These guys take their job VERY seriously and if anyone makes it to The Mozziah, the security take it personally, because it means they've lost. Well on May 15th 2009, during the Smiths ditty, 'I Keep Mine Hidden', security DID lose, but only very briefly.
     I'd often thought about making the plunge at previous concerts, but it's all about opportunity. The best time to attempt it is when the two security guys at the front are dealing with other potential invaders, and at the Gt Yarmouth concert, when the guy to my right made a move and was pounced on by BOTH the front two security guys, I saw my chance. You have no time to hesitate, so without thinking, I leapt, grabbed The Mozziah's left leg, and tried to claw my way up it, but having reached the knee, I was promptly removed from the stage and tossed out onto the wooden planks of the pier.
  As I strolled down the pier, I bumped in to a slightly elderly looking couple leaving the concert. I said to them, "Keep Mine Hidden not one of your favorite's either?"
They looked at me rather puzzled. I then said, "I don't mean to appear rude but you don't look like typical Morrissey fans". They informed me that their son worked for The Mozziah and that their grandson Sebastian was the baby on the Years of Refusal album cover. I continued to converse with these charming people for a little longer and then asked them if I could have their VIP stickers. They were more than happy to give them to me, a pleasant reminder of my day Up The Pier.

 Back to Sunday night twitter, Buck was back, but not really concentrating. No doubt doing something else and just dipping in. We exchanged a few tweets. Buck thought he had gotten one over me by tweeting when I presumed he was flying to Canada, but Buck me old china, the penny has dropped. He wasn't flying from the UK, he was flying from the US, so he'd already landed, and what FINALLY gave Buck away? Why did the penny suddenly drop that '@Bucktoothedboy' was DEFINITELY Russell Brand? *This is the bit where Buck laughs out loud to himself* He was given away by his local vineyard! Yep, his latest twitter follower is a Californian vineyard! You're right Buck, we're being watched!
 Weekend scores update:
1. Rusty Rockets 3,296,479 UP 20,200 - How can you have deep & meaningful exchanges with 3 million followers? No wonder you've come to us.
2. Amanda Holden 720,912 UP 3,854 - Despite only one meaningless tweet all weekend.
3. Johnny Marr 71,824 UP 366 - & Yes I'm still banned
4. MorrisseysWorld 3,508 UP 37 - Drip drip drip as they arrive
5. Joyce 2,380 UP 21 - Mainly Man City fans. Look at them all uniting in excitement
6. TheRatsBack 1,587 DOWN 30 - I decided to ban a few of Amanda's old followers
7. Banjaxer 726 UP 6 - 'We are top the league, say we are top the league'
8. Mum (formerly ODyrbrm) 416 UP 1 - Back Home, they'll be thinking about us when we are far away
9. Buck 44 UP 12 - As they ask, could it REALLY be him?
10. UpThePier (Formerly Mum) 18 UP 11 - Here for me or Mum? Who knows? Who cares?
11. ODyrbrm 0

Sunday, 16 October 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 32 Sunday 16th October 2011

Dear Kath Viner, Thank you. Having re-read your Guardian article, once I'd got past 'those twisted lies' and 'Meathead' comments, your article actually wanted me to revisit an album I hadn't played in it's entirety for far too long.
Yours, not so faithfully,
TR Back
ps. You're still a twat

 That's the problem with ipods, we tend to either load them with everything and miss so much or in my case, limit it and shuffle and still miss so much. So yesterday, I dug out my Meat is Murder cd and headed to the car to drive to sunny Dorset. At full volume, I played it over and over, and was immediately reminded what an utterly brilliant album it is, there is not a single duff track amongst the 10 individual works of art.

As I drove, I yelled out every word of every song, and it reminded me of the one and only time I saw The Smiths play live, Portsmouth Guildhall, Sunday March 3rd 1985, and no, I didn't need to google the date, it's etched on my brain, it was the day the miners strike ended. I was nineteen, and on the dole at the time, clueless as to where my life was heading, and barely able to afford the ticket. The atmosphere was electric that night in Portsmouth, Meat is Murder had been released just a few weeks earlier and had shot to number 1 in an era when the charts were full of Foreigner, Ashford & Simpson and Elaine & Barbara. The Smiths were the ONLY band talking my language.
  The night started with new band 'James' opening up, with this mad singer writhing and twisting. I'd not heard of them before that night, and they were superb......and then, at last at last at last, (and yes they did play that too), the four of them wandered on to the stage, a slight pause and then, 'For the rain falls hard on a hum drum town, this town can drag you down' (they'd obviously been to Portsmouth before). The crowd went bananas, and I mean, BANANAS, I was lifted off my feet as the whole place just bounced, and even as I sit here now typing this, I can still feel it.
   Halfway through the set, during 'Barbarism Begins at Home', and no doubt as a throw back to the old punk days, somebody thought it would be funny to spit at Morrissey. Morrissey obviously didn't share the spitters idea of fun, and immediately stopped singing. He looked at the guy who had spat, and said, 'We don't do that from where we come from, goodnight', and then left the stage. The band continued to play, (whilst looking at each other, not knowing what to do), and as soon as Andy had finished his solo, the band walked off. There was stunned silence and then, the bloke who had spat was set upon by his own mates. The crowd cheered as this guy took a bit of a pasting, and then as he was led out by security, the crowd started banging their feet and chanting 'We want the Smiths'. After a few minutes, they were back, and they finished an amazing set, that included my personal favourite at the time (and still in my top 3) 'Reel Around the Fountain', plus my two favourite tracks from the album, 'How Soon Is Now?' and 'What She Said'. The band were superb but for me it was all about the singer, it's always been that way. Whatever concert I've ever been to, the musicians just provide the background music, I'm always fixated my the man out front, the one who actually talks to me, and this man was fixation personified. I was in love and knew I would follow and defend this man to the end of my days (although maybe not to the extremes I'm currently going through, where I no longer, eat sleep or function in the real world!)

 And that is why Kath Viner can't really be a 'true' Smiths fan, because if she was, she wouldn't, she couldn't, have said those things she said about The Mozziah. The 'real' fans may not like everything Morrissey likes, and may not agree with everything he says, but what we would do is defend him to our last breath, because that's what 'meatheads' do!

   On the subject of The Smiths, I exchanged tweets last night with '@aboyinthebush22', who mentioned the forthcoming reunion of The Stone Roses and asked The Mozziah if he would reform The Smiths. The Mozziah, who incidentally returned to twitter last night, retorted in his usual witty way, that there was more chance of him performing with Durutti Column (the old Manchester band that was formed by Vini Reilly).

The Mozziah's mention of Durutti Column, suddenly sent my paranoid brain into overdrive, is Vini Reilly somehow involved in this whole MorrisseysWorld thing? Is Vini in fact '@Banjaxer'? Are the WHOLE of the Manchester music scene involved in MorrisseysWorld? Is my old squash partner Ed Garrity holed up in Mozziah HQ taking his turn on the twitter nightshift? Could '@RosyMires' possibly be the artist formerly known as Ed Banger? Is the other regular twitterer '@Mancladmozfan' actually Noel Gallagher? Banjaxer, RosyMires and MancLad are all bloody City fans, and in twitter land last night it was horrible, all of them crowing because City have gone top of the league, but did any of them mention the names Balotelli or Toure in there tweets? No, of course not, it was Marsh this and Tueart that. Nostalgic hogwash.

Anyway, back to '@aboyinthebush22', I tweeted to tell him that in my opinion, reunions rarely work and to just look at The Rolling Stones as a prime example. I asked aboyinthebush22 (who I would guess is a male in his early twenty's living near to the BBC television centre), who would want to go back to an ex from 25 years ago who's body had decayed? He replied by saying I was being too harsh on Johnny Marr. Of course I hadn't particularly meant Johnny (Christ, he's already banned me once for criticizing him) but, the truth must out, so I asked boyinbush this question, a question I have asked myself, and I asked BinB to answer HONESTLY; has Johnny Marr done anything and I mean ANYTHING, that has been better or even as good as The Smiths in the last 25 years? And in the same period, has Morrissey? BinB replied with these words, "I know he hasn't and I know Moz has, but I'm young, I never saw The Smiths". Well I've got some very good news for you BinB, go and see a Morrissey concert, and believe the words from a man who did see The Smiths, there is NO difference. Same singer, same songs and a group of superb musicians, playing the same notes, in the same order. Every single Morrissey song since 1987 has been a Smiths song. Reunions usually happen for either money or nostalgia, I've no idea nor any interest in why The Stone Roses are reforming, a band that completely passed me by, but The Smiths would NEVER  reunite just for money and so the only way it could or would work, is if The Mozziah & JM feel a nostalgic need to write together. Never say never but if it is to happen, with any credibility, it would have to happen soon. How Soon? I don't think it's Now, but maybe one day and then maybe we could all turn our dreams to Cheryl, Jay, Mike & Bobby picking up the phone.

 Back to now, whilst writing this, an announcement has been made by The Mozziah (@MorrisseysWorld), that he is leaving twitter and his blog until either; a rose, t shirt or spoken word, show once and for all what we few have NEVER doubted, that the MorrisseysWorld website IS run by Morrissey.

I will continue this blog only if The Mozziah sends me a message or gives me a sign to continue. I hope he has enjoyed it enough to want me to carry on. If there is no message or sign, this will be my last entry.

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