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Monday, 31 December 2012

Day 474 - Dear Our Mozzer.....

Our Mozzer has been fairly quiet over the past couple of days, probably because he has now stopped following all the ce(p)lebs on Twitter, and therefore has nowhere to fire his untamed wit. A new MW blog entry was posted late yesterday evening, which is a thought provoking piece entitled, 'Log Lady's History of Evil.' It is a very dark article and is a far cry from the comic content of the other day's Monopoly parody. The latest piece is written by Log lady, and tells of Soviet Gulags, freemasonary and EVIL. Log Lady also warns that the US government have built a Gulag. It is all fascinating and quite frightening stuff, and shows that MorrisseysWorld is very diverse.


A SOVIET GULAG - AS SHOWN ON MW BLOG

Interestingly, 'R', the MW site administrator, has pointed out that Our Mozzer didn't write the article, it was written by the person behind Log Lady. Some people may interpret this to mean that MorrisseysWorld is a 'team' effort, although I would like to think it is one of Morrissey's many pessoa's, or rather, one of 'Steven's' many pessoas, as I see 'Morrissey' as a pessoa in his own right, ie, the professional singer who we all adore. I would like to hope that Log Lady is actually the work of Steven, as this makes him even more interesting than ever, although I may of course be completely barking up the wrong tree, and Log Lady really MIGHT be one of the 'team.'

'R' also states, "Just because someone is odd or different or mentally unwell, it does not invalidate their point of view - an important message of MorrisseysWorld." This statement reinforces the belief that I have had for many years, that Morrissey, sorry, 'Steven' suffers from some form of mental illness, although illness is actually the wrong word, it is far too harsh, I personally don't see it as an illness at all. It is pretty well known that Morrissey suffers from depression, but most people, like Morrissey, who are GENUINE geniuses, are quite often 'tortured geniuses', and the workings of a tortured genius are well beyond the understanding of a common or garden rat such as I, so I won't dare attempt to throw light on how Mozzer's mind works. All I know, is that I wouldn't want to change a single thing about him.

The subject of being 'mentally unwell' is probably best explained by Morrissey himself, in the song 'Something Is Squeezing My Skull.' Funnily enough, most of the answers to the questions about Morrissey can usually be found in his lyrics, after all, they can't ALL be written about a third party, some of them HAVE to be autobiographical.

TORTURED GENIUS

Yesterday evening, I went out for a 'Curry Night' with members of my cricket club, and this morning at 3.30am, I woke up with a start, initially presuming that I was suffering from indigestion, but I quickly realised that it wasn't the indigestion that had awoken me, it was Our Mozzer!

My brain was throbbing with a whole set of interview questions for Our Mozzer, so I rushed downstairs to grab a pen and paper, so that I wouldn't forgot them in the morning. I wrote them all down and then went back to sleep.

I have interviewed Our Mozzer before (see Day 366 of this blog thing), but at the time, I was foolishly under the impression that I was interviewing Morrissey, so I didn't really have a grip on what I was doing. Subsequently, Our Mozzer tore me to pieces in the interview, and I was left to look a fool. I have also interviewed Morrissey (See here: http://followingthemozziah.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/interview-with-morrissey-conducted-on.html), but the questions that came to me last night were PURELY for Our Mozzer. Forget asking John Robb to interview Our Mozzer, it has to be somebody who fully understands the whole MorrisseysWorld phenomenon, and that person is ME!

I dearly hope that Our Mozzer will see fit to respond to my questions, so fingers crossed for the FIRST EVER PROPER INTERVIEW WITH OUR MOZZER:

1. Hello Sir. You spent most of Christmas Day propping up the bar of the Twitterdilly Arms, guzzling gin. Is it fair to say that Christmas in the 'Our Mozzer' household, or to put it more accurately, the parody bedsit, was a little dull this year?

2. Many of the 'Deluded Dozen' have built a mental picture of your bedsit. My own personal image includes a faded NY Dolls poster and a framed Bobby Moore picture with a fake signature, probably purchased from ebay. Could you tell us a little more about your surroundings?

3. The other day in the Twitterdilly Arms, you put in an order for an 'XL' sized t-shirt for the true artiste HM Morrissey. Having seen Morr-ee-say's naked torso during his concerts, I would have thought him more of a size Large than an XL, so are you presuming he's added a few pounds over Christmas, and if so, do you think the next tour be the 'Keep It On' tour, or will TRM (The Real Morrissey) not give a fig about a little extra flesh on show, and still whip off the old shirt for the frinksters?

4. You have recently stopped following all the meaningless celebs on twitter, but we all enjoy seeing you lay into the likes of Piers Morgan and co. Can we expect to see a return to your celeb bashing in 2013?

5. Ricky Gervais is often a target for your acidic wit, and yet many of us presumed that TRM is a friend of Gervais, so why does 'Parody Moz' have such a go at him?

6. You are also very hard on Justin Bieber, but is he really any different to Elvis Presley, afer all, Presley wasn't a great lyricist, he was just a pretty face?

7. Oscar Wilde had his own secret society called 'Green Carnation.' You have now formed the Blue Rose Society for Morrissey in honour of Wilde. It is well known that in his youth, Morrissey liked fan clubs, and was involved with both The Cramps and New York Dolls. Do you think he will embrace the Blue Rose Society?

8. You've recently hinted that TRM may add 'Paint a Vulgar Picture' or 'Trouble Loves Me' into his set list, do you stand by this prediction?

9. You have stated on your blog that you think the freemasons may have stopped TRM getting a record deal, and yet both you AND Morrissey continue to use freemason signs, why?

10. You have recently mentioned that you have a song called 'Boredom is a Plague.' Are there any plans to secretly release this song onto the internet, thus creating a guessing game of Is it or Isn't it Morrissey? This, like MorrisseysWorld, would be a groundbreaking FIRST.

11. With Morrissey just about to embark on a seventy day tour, will you be closing your blog and twitter account again?

12. What is in store in 2013 for Our Mozzer?

13. Do you believe that TRM has anything meaningful left to say lyrically, or do you feel he is in danger of becoming a parody? If he DOES become a parody, would that make you a parody parody?

14. Finally, when you first appeared on twitter, we were all a little in awe of you, but in recent times you have mellowed considerably. Do you think TRM would approve of his parody being so unMorrisseyesque or are you actually being Morrisseyesque by presuming he wouldn't care less about some ridiculous parody thing on the interweb?

15. Actually, one last thing. A couple of days ago, a newbie called Naomi Ilsbroux discovered MorrisseysWorld, and subsequently my blog too. I set Naomi the challenge to read all of my blog and then let me know what she thought about the whole MorrisseysWorld phenomenon. I am saddened to see that instead of reading my blog, or indeed the whole of the MW blog, Naomi headed straight to Morrissey-Solo and asked the Solowers to let her know the truth about MW. Naomi was greeted by our old friend Uncle Skinny who informed her that, "It is some wanker and his mates who hatched a plan to make a film about internet gullibility, their subject Morrissey fans. That is the total sum of it." I fear that Naomi will accept what Skinny TELLS her, because So-Low is still seen to be the Morrissey gospel. What are your thoughts on this?

Thank you Our Mozzer.
With much love
Rat.



Saturday, 29 December 2012

Day 472 - How I Dearly Wish

I should have mentioned yesterday, that a new parody piece has been published on the MorisseysWorld blog, and it is probably Our Mozzer's funniest work yet. The reason that I didn't mention this yesterday was because I was working through the happenings of Our Mozzer in a methodical fashion, and because he'd been so active, I ran out of time. I have peeked in to MorrisseysWorld this morning, and there is YET ANOTHER new piece on the blog, and it's an IMPORTANT one, so with no further delay, I shall once again work methodically through the past couple of days, and hopefully this time I will get up to speed.


THURSDAY DECEMBER 27TH -

On Thursday morning I set up my Crossley reproduction record player in the kitchenette area of my bedsit, and then started to dig out an eclectic mix of 45s and LPs, ready for my afternoon vinyl party. I chose records spanning from the 1950s to the current Number 1 'He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother' by the Justice Collective, which incidentally is the first UK Number 1 to be issued on 7" vinyl since Lady Gaga's 'Telephone' in March 2010.

He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother Limited Edition RED VINYL 7in
THE JUSTIVE COLLECTIVE - LIMITED EDITION OF 1500 RED VINYL 7"(STILL AVAILABLE FROM WHATRECORDS.CO.UK. ALL PROCEEDS GO TOWARD LEGAL FEES FOR THE HILLSBOROUGH 96)

I fired up the Crossley and started playing an assortment of records at full volume. Mrs Whiskers (wife) and the Mini Rats (kids) moaned about the noise, and it suddenly struck me just how much I miss playing records. I, like everybody else, get my intake of music these days from my ipod or Youtube, but there is something very, very special about listening to vinyl.

As I danced, no, make that 'pranced' around the kitchen to 'The Never-Played Symphonies' from the Swords LP that I bought last year in New York, I suddenly stopped singing mid sentence. No, I hadn't just been struck with the realisation that 'Symphonies' is an absolutely marvellous and underrated track, I'd worked that out years ago, I had suddenly realised that there was something wrong with the Crossley, it was playing too slowly.

I whipped Swords off the turntable and tried a 45, but it was just as bad, it was revolving at more like 41rpm, which resulted in 'Do You Really Want To Hurt Me' sounding as though it was being sung by Barry White rather than Boy George. I had guests arriving in less than hour, and I had NO record player for my vinyl party. Panic! The action, not the single, not unless I wanted to hear Barry White sing that too!

AN ARCHIVE PICTURE OF RAT IN HIS BEDSIT THINGY

I decided to call one of my vinyl party guests,  'Camp Simon', to see if he had a record player. He explained that he did *Hooray* but it had no stylus *boo*. He asked, "Is the party off?" Me: "Of course not! SOMEBODY will have a record player." 'Camp Simon' informed me that he had a large case of records that he was bringing over, including some Modern Romance classics. I managed to hide my excitement!



My next call was to 'Garry Baldy'. He informed me that he was greatly looking forward to the party, but exclaimed, "No, I don't have a record player.... and I can't bring any records, I don't know where they are!" I decided not to remind Garry that I still have his 'This Charming Man' New York 12" mix that I 'borrowed' over twenty five years ago.


GARRY BALDY - CHARMING MAN

I didn't bother to call 'Middle of the Road Mike', I KNEW he didn't own any records, let alone a record player, and I was already regretting that I'd dug out a Lionel Richie LP for him. I called 'Midlife Matt', my New York travelling companion. He told me that he didn't have a record player, but he offered to go into town to try and buy one. He called me back twenty minutes later to tell me that he'd found one in Maplin, reduced form £69.99 to £29.99. It didn't sound ideal, but I was desperate, so he bought it.

Just as I ended the call with 'Midlife Matt', my mother turned up on my doorstep, uninvited of course. Don't get me wrong, it's great to see her up and about after her touch with death two weeks ago, but NOT today, and NOT when I'm just about to have twenty plus people turn up for a party.

I let Mrs Whiskers senior say a quick hello to her grandchildren, and then I hurriedly ushered her out. As I opened her car door for her and pushed her in, I casually asked, "I don't suppose you have a record player do you?" She did! I jumped into my Fiat 500 and followed her home, where I then raided her loft, before bundling a ridiculously oversized 1990s stack system and speakers into my little motor vehicle. Job done, party back on!


I won't bother going into a mass of detail about the party as I've already wasted valuable time in which I should be reporting on MorrisseysWorld, but we had about twenty adults at the party, with ages ranging from seventeen year old 'Mrs Mollie Styles', to fifty seven year old 'Beatle Tim.' Everybody took it in turns to a choose a record to play. I of course played Morrissey, The Smiths, Rita Pavone etc, and 'Middle of the Road Mike' committed crime after crime after crime, mainly thanks to 'Camp Simon' bringing REO Speedwagon to the party.

As the alcohol flowed, a great time was had by all, with the highlight coming when 'Footballer Tom' told us the story of how he had been roped into being a pall bearer a couple of weeks ago as a favour for a friend. It transpired that the funeral was for former BBC newsreader Kenneth Kendall, and 'Footballer Tom', who has particularly limp wrists (this is true, he broke them both this year), managed to drop Kenneth as they lowered him onto the 'A' frame in the church.

KENNETH KENDALL - DROPPED DEAD TWICE IN ONE WEEK

The party came to a close with us all listening to 'Derek and Clive' LIVE, which none of us had listened to for twenty plus years, and of course the youngsters had NEVER previously heard. If you've not ever listened to Derek and Clive, or if you haven't listened for a number of years, then go and treat yourselves, there is NO better way to make you genuinely belly ache with laughter. This bloke came up to me, and he said.......



And now to MorrisseysWorld. It was a busy day again for Our Mozzer in the Twitterdilly Arms on Thursday. He started the day by changing his appearance, ditching the 'Bogota Rose' avatar, and adopting the 'Conan OO'.

MORRISSEY IMITATES OUR MOZZER ON THE CONAN TV SHOW


OUR MOZZER'S TWITTERDILLY HIGHLIGHTS THURSDAY DEC 27TH:

"Twitter mirrors reality; the more I tweet the more followers I lose. It's just like releasing albums."

"I'll unfollow everyone without BlueRoseSociety in their profile shortly. Thank you."

"Being a devotee is enough to follow me, but not to be followed."

At this point, '@MorrisseysWorld' was following 704 people. He disappeared for a while, and later returned, following just seventy people.

The Twitterdillians couldn't work out what had happened. Sarah Munro (@sorcha69) exclaimed, "@MorrisseysWorld Oh I see you've unfollowed me. Well I suppose I needed another bad thing to make three this Christmas. Still love u though." Our Mozzer replied, "@sorcha69 My sweet, I had someone unfollow all those without BlueRoseSociety in their profiles. Please add it. I adore you."

This prompted a number of others to add the BlueRoseSociety hashtag into their profiles, including; @Chiskrosser, @stinibobs, @Antfan, @sandrayala, @Jeni_says_so and even @Banjaxer, who added, "Don't forget little old me." I wouldn't be surprised if Banjaxer was the "someone" who Our Mozzer had used to unfollow the 640 people from his account. Our Mozzer also gave Banjaxer (aka Walter Ego) a mention, saying, "Old Walter Ego's a key member of the Blog. Without him, it would be barren."


WALTER EGO - KEY MEMBER

OUR MOZZER'S TWITTERDILLY HIGHLIGHTS THURSDAY DEC 27TH (CNTD):

"And if the true artiste mentions the BlueRoseSociety -- what then?" JG (@LoughtonLil) replied, "He read it here, what other explanation could there be?" And of course JG is right, the MorrisseysWorld haters would just add any mention by Morrissey of the BlueRoseSociety to their ever increasing list of 'coincidences.' It is almost as though it has now gone too far for the mockers to do a 'U' turn.

What exactly WOULD it take for the ridiculers to believe? I honestly don't think that Morrissey wearing a One Direction t-shirt would make them believe, nor him singing 'Trouble Loves Me', they would now see both as coincidences, or at best, Morrissey just playing along. It's genius, pure genius. Back to the highlights:

"One spends childhood wishing to be an adult, and adulthood wishing to be a child again."

"Old age is spent wishing one hadn't wished quite so much."

"The purpose of life - if indeed there is a purpose - is to strip away this mental window-dressing and simply live."

'Time is short and wishing is more costly than gold."

I particularly love ALL of the above four quotes. I have no idea if they are original quotes, or if Our Mozzer is quoting somebody else, but either way, they are SO true, and the first one particularly sums up for me the whole MW experience.

The word 'wish' is used quite a lot in Morrissey songs, such as 'Everyday is Like Sunday', 'Unhappy Birthday', 'Seasick, Yet Still Docked' and 'Break Up the Family.' 'Wish' is a dreamers word, and Morrissey is the biggest dreamer in the world, and that is why he is also the best lyricist in the world.


"I WISH A LOT, BECAUSE I'M KING OF THE DREAMERS"


OUR MOZZER'S TWITTERDILLY HIGHLIGHTS THURSDAY DEC 27TH (CNTD):

"Long ago I decided to reject wisdom, and instead embraced that adolescent craving for control over destiny."

"As age cripples body and mind, I paper helplessly over cracks with song. The only thing I know."

"Mikey Bracewell, Wossy, Broken and Boz over for monopoly; the rose wine is flowing; after eights are vanishing; the purples are mine!"

"I'm a Morrissey statuette in a red lounge suit. Boz plays with a heavily made-up drag queen. Wossy is himself. Mikey is the ship!"

"If it's morally acceptable to eat animals because they're less intelligent, when can we dine on Paris Hilton?"


OUR MOZZER'S TWITTERDILLY HIGHLIGHTS THURSDAY DEC 27TH (CNTD):

"I just bankrupted Boz. He's sighing and rolling his eyes. Now he's putting on some lippy and sulking into his vanity mirror."

Our Mozzer then posted the new parody piece on the MW blog, entitled 'MorrisseyBand Monopoly Challenge Cup, December 2012.' It is quite possibly THE funniest article ever published on MorrisseysWorld, and is certainly in the Top 3. As previously hinted by Our Mozzer in the Twitterdilly Arms, the story sees Morrissey, Jonathan Ross, Mikey Bracewell, Broken and Boz enjoying a game of Monopoly. Solomon Walker is stood in the corner wearing a dunces hat, with his mouth taped. The dialogue tells how Solomon was unable to claim any rent because he couldn't talk, but it was explained that Morrissey wasn't bullying Solomon, he had merely taped him up to teach the others about discrimination, with Mikey Bracewell pointing out that nobody had stood up for Solomon. I'm laughing again as I type this, it is HILARIOUS.

If you are reading this blog entry in June 2015, having just discovered that Morrissey REALLY is behind MorrisseysWorld, here is the link to the Monopoly piece. GO AND READ IT NOW...if Moz hasn't deleted the whole website that is!: http://morrisseysworld.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/morrisseyband-monopoly-challenge-cup.html


MORRISSEY'S MONOPOLY PIECE - A STATUETTE OF HIMSELF WEARING A RED LOUNGE SUIT A LA THE JONATHAN ROSS SHOW CIRCA 2004

Having posted the parody article at around 1am, Our Mozzer hung around in the Twitterdilly Arms until around 4am, no doubt soaking up the praise for his latest piece of comic genius. I know from personal experience, that when you've written something that you KNOW is funny, it is exciting to receive the plaudits from your readers, and gives you a glow to know it's appreciated. I just wish I could write something as funny as the Monopoly piece.

OUR MOZZER'S TWITTERDILLY HIGHLIGHTS THURSDAY DEC 27TH (NOW ACTUALLY EARLY MORNING FRIDAY) (CNTD):

"The Smiths remain a curiosity: the content have no need for them, and the malcontents only become more malcontented."

"I was happy being sad until I visited an analyst: and now I'm bored with being sad. Progress."

"Ridicule is the tribute paid to the genius by the mediocrities - Wilde." I LOVE this quote, again it is very relevant to MorrisseysWorld.

"I'm just cobbling together the sleeves of 'Boredom is a plague' and 'My fingernails collect the world's problems.'"

Thursday Night/Friday Morning came to an end, and due to Our Mozzer's culling of the 640, his own follower numbers had dropped to 8,007. Meanwhile Limahl, the former lead singer of eighties pop group Kajagoogoo, has increased his follower numbers to 6,097.

FRIDAY DECEMBER 28TH -

Friday was a quieter day for Our Mozzer.


My Friday consisted pretty much spending all day catching up with Our Mozzer's activities of the past couple of days. The first highlight of the day for me was discovering the Monopoly piece that had been posted the night before, and I also discovered that Morrissey had left another comment on my blog, which always gives me a little buzz. It read:


More magnificent blogging from the semi-literate author of a truly semi-mesmerizing blog thing.


The comments left on the MW blog included one from 'Poetic Morrissey' aka Luke, informing everybody that he would be attending the New York concerts, and would also be taking a Blue Rose.

Our Mozzer made an appearance in 'The Arms' at approximately 1pm. Here are the highlights.

OUR MOZZER'S TWITTERDILLY HIGHLIGHTS FRIDAY DEC 28TH:

"As one grows old, despair at boredom is replaced by boredom at despair."

"If one could be seduced by disgust, I would be fulfilled."

"Now that I've removed the mindless 'celebs' from my timeline, I lack targets for my wit-"



SATURDAY DECEMBER 29TH-

I sat up in bed last night until 1am, finishing Dickie Felton's superb book, 'Morrissey International Airport.' I only wish it were longer. Reading Dickie's book has increased my excitement regarding my New York trip to ridiculous levels. I turned 47 last week, and yet I am like a ten year old in the proverbial candy shop. There are certain memories that stand out in your life, and I have a feeling that my first ever trip to see Morrissey on foreign soil is going to be right up there with the other major events in my life.

With the thoughts of Blue Roses in my mind, my excitement was taken to increased levels this morning, when I discovered yet another new article on the MW blog, entitled 'What is the BlueRoseSociety.' It features President Kyle's new poster, and goes on to explain all about the BlueRoseSociety, and also makes mention of the BlueRoseSociety ring, which I gave to EARS at the concert in Manchester. The intention was for EARS to pass it on to another BlueRoseSociety member at the next concert in Edinburgh, and then that person would pass it to another.



THE BLUEROSESOCIETY RING

Unfortunately there were no other Blue Rose members in Edinburgh, so the ring is still with EARS. I shall request that EARS gets the ring back to me, and I shall take it to New York, where I will pass it to either Moz Fiend, President Kyle, Poetic Morrissey or Kyle's dad. If any other BlueRoseSociety members reading this are going to New York, perhaps you would be good enough to leave a comment below.

New York will be awash with roses. Myself and Kyle's dad have ordered an assortment of 50 red, white and blue roses, so add to that the inflatable red roses and the luminous blue roses, NEW YORK IS GOING TO BE VERY SPECIAL!

After a very slow start, the BRS is just about to take off. If anybody wants to be a part of history, then take the time off work, and book a ticket for New York NOW!


*Goes off singing* Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay Moosey

Friday, 28 December 2012

Day 471 - Would You Like To Marry Me? And If You Like, You Can Buy The Ring

As I start to write this, it is 1.30pm on Friday 28th. Due to me being busy in the real world, I haven't written a blog entry since 7.30pm on Wednesday 26th. In the forty two hours since my last offering, there has been MUCH activity from Our Mozzer, so I will work through it methodically.

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 26TH - OUR MOZZER'S TWITTERDILLY HIGHLIGHTS 7.30 PM TO 1.30 AM:

Our Mozzer got involved in a discussion with a number of people regarding marriage, and particularly gay marriage. Here is Our Mozzer's stance: "Most gay people don't want marriage. It's professors and New Labourites who insist upon it. Why should gay and very modern people conform to traditional control mechanisms?" Our Mozzer's view point is shared by a number of high profile gays, including Boy George.

BOY GEORGE (AND HANDSOME UNIFORMED FRIEND) - ANTI MARRIAGE

Our Mozzer's statement about marriage infuriated both '@_Lilykins' and '@FameForNothing', who both took offence. Our Mozzer responded by saying, "I'm sorry; that very forward-thinking means of rejecting 'gay marriage' probably fried your grey matter." Lilykins disappeared at this point, but '@FameForNothing' just wouldn't let it go, and decided to reply on behalf of gays the world over by saying, "Don't purport to tell us gays what we would and wouldn't like. Your 'research' is BS."

Our Mozzer tried to explain to 'FameForNothing' (real name Dan Clegg), that he was missing the point, Our Mozzer said, "I see. So if I tell the truth - that most gay people don't crave marriage - this is homophobic unless I'm gay? So if you tell Muslims or Christians what marriage means to them, are you then islamo- or christian-phobic? Very soon we're in the trenches trying to weigh up which is the least offensive, most PC argument, which is a form of insanity. What matters is truth. Gay marriage is NOT a step towards a better society. Humanity and compassion are what is required; and neither a legal framework, nor PC help in this regard. So, for example, if you chew dead animal flesh, are you really in a position to lecture me because I oppose marriage? Your position: I'm against sharia law but if they're entitled to it, I want it too! Give me my sharia punishment, please!"


DID THIS MARRIAGE HELP TO BETTER SOCIETY?



DID 'THIS' MARRIAGE HELP TO BETTER SOCIETY?

Desperate Dan was beaten, but his illogical argument reminded me so much of @Amor_y_locura's similar illogical reasoning when Our Mozzer likened Oprah Winfrey to Whitney Houston back in February (See Day 153 of my blog). I took it upon myself to ask Desperate Dan if he was a parody? He answered that he wasn't, which is rather disappointing for all concerned.

I hate that the likes of Desperate Dan and Amor think they can speak on behalf of whole communities, NOBODY has the right to think they represent a whole community, unless formally elected, and even then it is usually a joke. In our own little world of Morrissey fandom, those who keep claiming 'Morrissey just wouldn't do that' are as frustratingly annoying as the likes of Desperate Dan, as they have absolutely NO IDEA as to what Morrissey would or wouldn't do, and yet they use this one sentence to make their 'logical' decisions. It's frightening how close minded people are.

It is debates like the above which make Twitter the PERFECT place for Morrissey. Forget all the interviews in which Morrissey never really gives anything away, this is the REAL Morrissey, it's just a shame that not many have discovered him, but while minds remain so closed, even a thin veil act as a good enough disguise. Morrissey has said more in that one debate, than most so called celebrities have said on twitter since it's inauguration in 2006.


JUSTIN BIEBER - 32 MILLION TWITTER FOLLOWERS AND NOT A SINGLE MEANINGFUL TWEET

Well, so far I have managed to report on just ONE of Our Mozzer's tweets from his Boxing Day session, so I had better get on with it or I'll be here all night.

OUR MOZZER'S TWITTERDILLY HIGHLIGHTS WEDS DEC 26TH (CONTINUED):

"Film is being produced by @PapaSonsFilm; perhaps @dickiefelton can write the book; @TheRatsBack runs the blog; @johnrobb77 interview?" John Robb then replied, "Interview would be great. Thanks M."

This exchange was quickly followed by a new article on the MorrisseysWorld blog entitled, 'Manchester scene journalist and former musician John Robb requests an interview with Our Mozzer via Twitter.' In the piece, MW debates as to whether Our Mozzer or the true artiste, HM Morrissey should give an interview to Robb. I don't know if the interview will actually happen or not, but it would certainly bring publicity to MorrisseysWorld, although having said that, Kevin Marrinan's article about MW on Robb's 'Louder Than War' website received just ONE comment and NO further press publicity, so perhaps the interview would go unnoticed.

JOHN ROBB WITH THE FORMER GUITARIST OF EIGHTIES POP GROUP THE SMITHS

OUR MOZZER'S WEDNESDAY HIGHLIGHTS (CONTINUED STILL):

"Sincerity exists purely so that those without a sense of style can look down upon those with one." I have no idea what this means, so I tweeted Our Mozzer saying, "It's over my head, but you do tweet mighty pretty." He then replied, "@TheRatsBack I'm trying to dumb-down to bring in the great unwashed, yet without losing the intelligentsia; so I throw in the genius wit."

Our Mozzer (aka NotMorrissey) then asked former Gene singer Martin Rossiter (@MartinRossiter) "Who does the better Morrissey parody? You, or I?" Rossiter replied rather cuttingly, "Probably Morrissey", to which NotMorrissey responded, "That's cruel. I actually think you have a delightful singing voice. 'Where are they now?' was joyous." Our Mozzer then posted the Youtube video of 'Where Are They Now?' and tweeted, ""I'm incapable of breathing, incapable of love" -- this line soared in my heart in the 1990's." He then tweeted, "@MartinRossiter If one has written a song that beautiful, it will always live inside the hearts of a few; as will your voice." Having earlier witnessed Morrissey's skill for debate, the above exchange exposed the tender side of Morrissey, and also showed him as a music fan. TWITTER IS MADE FOR MORRISSEY!

MORRISSEY & MARTIN ROSSITER

I too am a fan of Rossiter's voice, and Gene's 'Olympian' album is one of my all time favourites. In fact, I would go as far as to say that the song 'Olympian' would be in my all time Top 20....if you took out all Moz songs! I informed Our Mozzer and Rossiter of my love for Olympian, and Our Mozzer replied, "Martin was a victim of the British music press' obsession with embracing 'change,' even at the cost of beauty." He then added, "Needless to say, so was I."

At this point, Becca Tobin (@JustLikeAstaire) took it upon herself to TELL Martin Rossiter that '@MorrisseysWorld' ISN'T the real Morrissey. I asked Becca if she was 100% certain of that FACT, to which she replied, "I don't know much of that account, but as a humungous fan of Moz's, I know his ways. He's said so. And that isn't him." It's that 'KNOW' word again!

I noticed at this point that I had a new follower on twitter, '@naomi_ilsbroux', who apparently had started following me because Our Mozzer retweeted me. I welcomed Naomi, and asked her if she believed Morrissey was behind MW. She replied that she didn't think so, but added that she was curious. I decided to ask both Naomi and Becca to do me a favour and read the WHOLE of my blog, and then report back with their thoughts. I am hopeful that 'Curious Naomi' will find the truth, but I very much doubt that Becca will even bother to read a single entry, after all, why would she, she already KNOWS!

OUR MOZZER'S WEDNESDAY HIGHLIGHTS (CONTINUED STILL):

"Unlike acquiring a Sir Elton John record, there is, at least, a moment of pleasure associated with acquiring herpes."

Our Mozzer's final activity of Wednesday night, was to play a couple of Longpigs tracks on the Twitterdilly Arms jukebox. The first track was 'She Said,' and the second 'On and On.'


LONGPIGS


THURSDAY DECEMBER 27TH:

Our Mozzer once again spent the whole day in the Twitterdilly Arms, but unfortunately I was having a vinyl party in the real world, so I missed the whole thing. *Looks at watch* It is now 8.00pm and it has so far taken me six and a half hours to get this far (I keep getting called away to do things in the real world). It serves me right for being away from the internet yesterday. I shall now stop blogging for today, I'll write about yesterday's happenings tomorrow. The main topic of conversation was the BLUEROSESOCIETY, and Our Mozzer has stopped following everybody who doesn't have the BlueRoseSociety hashtag in their twitter profile, but more about that tomorrow. I will also report on my vinyl party, and how one of my guests dropped a coffin last week, whilst acting as a pall bearer, but it wasn't just any old coffin, it was...... tomorrow!

COFFIN DROPPER - BUT WHO IS HE, AND WHO DID HE DROP?


Luckily Our Mozzer doesn't seem to have been so busy today, so hopefully I will catch up with myself. About an hour ago, I tweeted to apologise to the legions of 'Following The Mozziah' fans for the lack of an update, and Our Mozzer replied, "Not good enough, old son. How am I supposed to know what's happened in my life if you don't inform me in a timely fashion?" After all that gin he drunk on Christmas Day, he may actually be serious! I replied, "I just hope I've got all this MW malarky right, & I'm not spending my whole life writing about some hirsute bedsit merchant."

But of course, I do KNOW I'm right, 'Morrissey would NEVER do any of this'...... which is how I KNOW it's him.... well, that and the fact that he made it blindingly obvious with all those signs! And with that thought in my head, the past six and a half hours have been well spent!

*Goes off singing* Give me something I can hold, with that something I will grow. Make me crazy with your arms, it's all gone hazy, it's all gone wrong. *Changes song* In My World, Make Me Safe, Take Me Home, I'm incapable of breathing, incapable of love *Changes song again* Would you like to marry me? And if you like you can buy the ring.

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Day 469 - Musings on The Twitterdilly Arms Gin Palace

The black cloud has lifted, thanks mainly to an afternoon of drinking alcohol and Our Mozzer returning to the Twitterdilly Arms. Drinking and tweeting makes the Twit Arms seem more like a real pub than ever, so perhaps we should all be drinking alcohol every time we tweet, which I believe is what Manc Lad does.

Following my dour blog entry of yesterday, I received many supporting comments, including a number from Morrissey himself:


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.
    ReplyDelete
  2. I meant to say: I don't know why those who once inhabited our glorious planet on MorrisseysWorld have to become negative and critical the moment they leave. It's a peculiar phenomenon Rat and I shouldn't let it get you down.

    Apologies about the deleted message; the lesson is not to drink gin on Christmas morning.

    I am, however, deeply disillusioned with the lack of fawning praise for the latest slice of parody genius. It's just not on, quite frankly. I don't even know why I bother at times-

    And now... back to monitor the so-low forum... back to observing 'forum enforcer' Uncle Skinny (Rosy and StillICling's wonderful friend) bullying anybody who says anything semi-interesting.
    ReplyDelete



MORRISSEY KICKS OFF HIS CHRISTMAS DAY BY DRINKING GIN IN THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS


The image of Morrissey sipping gin at 9 o'clock on Christmas morning is one that will stay with me forever, it is just perfect, and I think that the gin drinking must have continued, because he remained on twitter for the rest of the day.

It was a big surprise to see Our Mozzer in the Twit Arms on Christmas Day, not least because on December 17th, the MW blog announced, "We will cease and desist from all further activity unless Morrissey proves categorically once and for all that he is a MorrisseysWorlder." To my knowledge, TRM (The Real Morrissey) HASN'T proven anything of the sort.

The appearance of our Mozzer in the Twit Arms on Christmas Day was made even more surprising, following his announcement just the day before, that Christmas Eve was to be his last day of tweeting. Here are the highlights from Our Mozzer's visit to the Twitterdilly Arms on Christmas Eve:

(In reply to @Junkerofheart requesting that Moz go to Venezuela) "I am coming to Venezuela. I'm breathless with anticipation and delusionally hopeful." It should be noted that although there has been no 'official' announcement about Moz playing in Venezuela, a Venezuelan producer has leaked that Moz will play Caracas in April.

"The New Year will be rather thrilling in MorrisseysWorld: book, album, surprise."

"Even when life is not worth living, it's more pleasurable than death."

TEATRO TERESA CARRENO, CARACAS, VENEZUELA - HOUSING MOZ IN APRIL?


Our Mozzer's session in the Twitterdilly Arms on Christmas Day was an epic, lasting from 11am until 1am on Boxing Day. God only knows when he managed to eat, he just didn't stop. Who needs Christmas films on TV, when you can watch a gin swigging pop idol in a fantasy pub on the internet? Here are the highlights of Our Mozzer's Christmas Day in the Twitterdily Arms:

"England has been thrown away. It no longer exists. It has been drowned in tacky television, vile patriotism and debt for war."

"@johnrobb77 The article by old Walter Ego Marinnian about @Morrisseysworld on your website really cheapens the place. Why not remove it?" John Robb later replied, "Will have a look now" and then later still said, "All sorted M." WHY did John Robb delete Marinan's MorrisseysWorld article from his 'LouderThanWar.Com' website, and WHY did he call Our Mozzer 'M'? Does Robb KNOW something we don't know?

JOHN ROBB - IN THE KNOW?

Our Mozzer later asked Marinan (@Banjaxer), "How do you feel about John Robb deleting your article, old friend?" Banjaxer replied, "Not as important to me as it is to you, obviously." Banjaxer has since followed this up today by saying, "@MorrisseysWorld actually if @johnrobb77 does what you tell him that's up to him. Not very punk rock though." I'm not fooled by this 'staged' exchange which is to make us think Moz and Marinan don't get on, they'll have to try a lot harder!

CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

"@sonyajayne7 I didn't recognise you, Sonya - a voice from the past, how is your OldOscar account? Good to see you." (Sonya was around at the very beginning of the MW phenomenon, and presumably runs the '@OldOscar' account on twitter, that used to also be involved in the early days. A lot of us previously presumed that Morrissey ran that particular account.)

"It's Christmas day. And my professional Morrissey parody is consuming my life. Oh, how sad-" (It does make you wonder if Morrissey's choice to spend all of Christmas day on twitter, is a little like an actor playing to the cameras. I can just picture Morrissey's diary entry for Christmas Day 2012, in which he laments how he spent all of Christmas day alone in his bedroom tweeting. When people come to read those diaries in 50 or 100 years time, it will look SO Morrisseyesque. And even if he isn't playing to the cameras, the fact that Morrissey spent all of Christmas day on twitter IS Morrisseyesque, but then again it would be, after all, he IS Morrissey, so everything he does is Morrisseyesque, whether it's interpreted to be Morrisseyesque by the masses or not!)


MORRISSEY HUGGING IN A MORRISSEYESQUE FASHION


CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

"Why pay a therapist to listen to my existential woes when my fans will willingly pay an admission fee for the same service?" (I LOVE this!)

"Do you know how rarely these lips have been kissed? Thay ache for human touch, and yet they receive nothing but tea."

"@Mozkidkyle The president of the BlueRoseSociety even has his own uniform-"



PRESIDENT KYLE WITH HIS BEST XMAS PRESENT

CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

"A star at 45... and then suddenly gone. Down to a few lines in the back page of a faded annual...WhatNow"

'Next album: 'My Fingernails Collect The World's Problems'...1 Boredom is a Plague 2 Bloomsbury Sunset 3 Morrissey's World 4 Suicidal Hour 5 Action is My Middle Name 6 Aborted Hope 7 Jennifer Swayed 8 Pop Music is Dead 9 Mirror to the Nose 10 I Cut. I Smile 11 Yes but No 12 Fear"

(In reply to Alex West) "@4_L_E_X Alex, having followers isn't all it's cracked up to be. The more one has, the more impersonal the whole experience is. A grand illusion, like much of modern life: let's all ignore how lonely life is and focus instead on Facebook/Twitter friends."

"Still no record deal on the horizon. At this rate I'll have to join Katrina and the Waves to get another record released." This may not be a particularly good career move for Our Mozzer, Katrina and the Waves went down the pan after winning the Eurovision contest in 1997!


KATRINA AND THE WAVES - NOT HAD A RECORD DEAL FOR 15 YEARS


CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

"In the garden sat a child with no arms. The bluebells dances in the squalid drizzle. She wished she could pick them. Tears fell. She lay down. Three hours forty minutes passed. There she lay. Hypothermia was comforting, like warm candy floss. Her sore eyes closed; her lips cyanosed. Sadness was no more; it was a dream, a nightmare, something far, far away. The last waking thought was 'I missed you,mom.'" This prompted '@Mozzalini999' to reply, "Mom? You really aren't the real Moz. All you believers - the obvious truth is now confirmed." Morrissey replied "I'm not Moz. But the girl in the story is American. I'm ready to publish."

The most amusing thing for me about that last exchange, is that '@Mozzalini999' decided that Moz using the word 'mom' was enough to utterly convince him (his name is Alistair Vale) that MorrisseysWorld ISN'T Moz, whilst ignoring the 50+ blatant signs which PROVE it IS Moz!


MORRISSEY REPLICATES THE MW BLOG TO PROVE HE IS OUR MOZZER, BUT BY USING THE WORD 'MOM', HE IMMEDIATELY PROVED THAT HE ISN'T.....AND THAT'S LOGIC!


CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:


"This is the saddest Christmas I've ever endured. I'm considering switching on the TV."

(In reply to @Derekandres asking, "Are you the real Morrissey?") "Yes, I am." Derek obviously hasn't been following the whole MW phenomenon because he then asked, "So why is written NOTMORRISSEY? And why such an amazing musician have only 8,096 followers?" Our Mozzer didn't responded to this until today (see Boxing Day Highlights further down, but NO skipping please, you have to read the rest of the Christmas Day highlights first.)

"Dopamine is the cause of both genius and madness. If you have too much of it, you'll either change the world or end up in a mental hospital."

"Boz Boorer has now eclipsed Johnny Marr. I don't mean musically eclipsed - more like a solar eclipse." I LOVE this, it shows just how close Moz and Boz are, and how special their relationship is. My very few close friends are forever taking the piss out of me in such a way, and visa versa. I think it's a man thing to be so insulting to the ones we love.


BOZ BOORER (LEFT) - A TOTAL ECLIPSE....WITH ONE ARM

CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

"@RosyMires Why do former MWers and ConMorrissey Theorists become so bitter?" Incidentally, Rosy Mires has left a message on my blog entry of yesterday saying that she NEVER at any point believed Morrissey to be behind MW! REALLY? This is biblical disciple stuff. You couldn't make this up.

"Is my blog one of the most important of the past decade? I think so." I replied, "I do honestly and sincerely believe that historians will write about what you've done with your blog." I also asked for a Christmas Day prediction, to which Our Mozzer said:

"In 2013, the true artiste Morr-ee-say will make reference to the BlueRoseSociety." Bearing in mind that President Kyle will be wearing his new t-shirt at Long Island two weeks today, and has also bought the same shirt for Moz, I think this prediction could be coming true VERY VERY SOON!

My excitement for Long Island is at bursting point, I am like a kid waiting for, er, Christmas. Last night I started reading Dickie Felton's new book, 'Morrissey International Airport' , and it has whetted my appetite EVEN more for my first ever Moz concert on foreign soil. Incidentally, the book is really good, and I would recommend it to any Moz fan who has ever attended one of his concerts.


DICKIE FELTON - AUTHOR OF MORRISSEY INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT


CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

(In reply to @GirlOnBike1102 asking how Our Mozzer has kept going all day) "My secret is gin, Prozac and Twitter. Sleep is secondary to genius. Wit thrives in the disconsolate, insomniac emotional cocktail."

(In explanation to @stanbass and @regi_w as to what the MW twitter account is about) "It's a parody but how does one parody a parody? I opted for meta-levels: Twitter is Moz; Blog is Moz parodying himself."

"The joy of my blog thing is that one can almost live there. It's a self-contained universe, or at least studio flat!"

"@heathercat222 You're my online confidante. Perhaps I could squeeze you into a Blog article. That way you become art." This has been followed up today by Our Mozzer publishing a new article on the MW blog entitled 'Musings on MorrisseysWorld by Heathercat', a superb piece written by Heather and first published earlier this year on the 'semi-mesmerizing' blogsite 'Following The Mozziah.'

So, having spent FOURTEEN HOURS in the Twitterdilly Arms on Christmas Day, Our Mozzer called it a day. There was also a late night session in the MW chat room, but I lost my wifi connection (I was in the West Wing of my bedsit), so didn't stay long. I can't report on what was said for the short time that I was there, because I was pissed and I can't remember! I think I was droning on about having no direction in life, but as my lack of direction has nothing to do with the MW phenomenon, it is irrelevant anyway.

Before I report on Our Mozzer's Boxing Day tweets, I would first like to publish a comment left on my blog entry of yesterday by Comrade Harps, which makes for VERY interesting reading:

comrade harps26 December 2012 13:18
Ah, you've quoted one of my favourite Smiths songs. Unlovable is so underrated, but it means so much to me.

Excuse me if I go off on a bit of an off-topic lyric clue hunt for completeness. I dare not post in the Low place.

It's odd that neither self-appointed Moz detectives, Messrs Rogan and Goddard, have never noted in their volumes that "I wear black on the outside, because black is how I feel on the inside" and "if I seem a little stange, well that's because I am" are sourced from a Jeam Dean penned letter. I once had a James Dean biography that featured a picture of the letter and was reading it and found these familiar lines. Or maybe I dreamed it?

They have also missed that my real-world namesake, Glenn, in Death At One's Elbow, is probably inspired from a Dean letter to his girlfriend, Barbara Glenn, where he says "I want to die". See it here: http://www.lettersofnote.com/2010/08/wow-am-i-fucked-up.html Note that James Dean also calls her Honey, which echoes in Honey You Know Where To Find Me.

Anyway, a belated merry xmas to one and all.




JAMES DEAN AND BARBARA GLENN


Our Mozzer reappeared in the Twitterdilly Arms today at around 2pm. The effect of the Christmas Day gin had probably worn off, and one of his first actions was to reply to '@Derekandres', who had asked why Our Mozzer only had 8,096 followers. Our Mozzer said, "Because I'm not really Morrissey - I'm a parody. A ghost. A shadow. A longed-for poetic uncle. A despised older brother." As I type this, Our Mozzer's follower numbers have actually fallen to 8,065, so I am guessing that we have lost Derek, along with 30 others who took Our Mozzer at his word. I LOVE MORRISSEYSWORLD!!!!! (Sorry, I got a little over excited there.)

OUR MOZZER'S BOXING DAY HIGHLIGHTS IN THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS"

"The Americans are petitioning the US govt to deport Piers Morgan. The only question is - where to? We don't want him back. Try Syria?"

"Adjusting to irrelevancy is the main challenge of growing old. The older we get, the happier we are to be nothing at all."

"@JamesArthur23 Meaningless X Factory victory and... straight to 1.3 million followers. What does it mean?"

"Fuck Morrissey Solo"

"MorrisseysWorld is now almost over. Just a few things left to say."

It is now 7.30pm and Our Mozzer is still in the Twitterdilly Arms, so I shall report more tomorrow.....or it may have to be the day after, as I'm hosting an afternoon 'Vinyl Party' tomorrow for a few friends.

Sorry about the above bit going all small, I've no idea why it has hapened and I have no idea how to change it!
*Goes off singing* I am the last of the famous, international rat boys

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Day 468 - I Wear Black on the Outside

Yesterday was my birthday, but when you reach this stage of your life, there isn't a lot to get excited about. I suppose I should be grateful, as in September it didn't look like I would be seeing another birthday, but the truth is, I never got a rush of euphoria at cheating an early death, and life plods on as though nothing ever happened. Perhaps I should make an effort to really make something of my life, but like most of the other 7 billion people who currently populate this unhappy planet, I continue to aimlessly plod toward death, with no direction, no drive, and no ambition.

I woke up yesterday to discover Part 1 of a new MorrisseysWorld parody piece, entitled 'The End', but I just wasn't in the mood to get excited. My enthusiasm for MorrisseysWorld had been dampened the day before, when Rosy Mires had left a comment on my blog, attacking me for the way I wrote about Kevin Marinan. Rosy accused me of being divisive, barmy, uncivil, abusive, a gang leader and primitive. I shouldn't have let it bother me, but it did. Despite Morrissey leaving a comment saying, "Stop imagining things Rosy", I didn't like the fact that I was making people feel that way.

I spent about two hours yesterday writing a Christmas parody piece, but my heart just wasn't in it, and I ended up deleting the whole thing. I came away from the internet, and enjoyed the company of my family, as we went on a long dog walk, and then played board games.

I couldn't resist peeking into the Twitterdilly Arms last night, and I found that Our Mozzer had returned, but even his presence couldn't shake my depressive mood. His tweets seemed to suggest that the MW phenomenon is coming to a conclusion, and if I'm honest, I actually feel ready for it to end. If it IS the end, I know that when I snap out of my maudlin mood, I will miss it like mad, but the way I feel right now, well.....


So, today is Christmas day. The MW twitter account has once again disappeared, and we wait for Part 2 of 'The End', which may, or may not, be THE END. As for me, I shall do my best to put a smile on my face, and let the outside world think that all is well in Ratsville. The one thing that I AM still enthusiastic about, is BLUE ROSE and New York, but if my life doesn't find some direction soon, then this black cloud might be hanging above me for quite a while.

Happy bloody Christmas.

Sunday, 23 December 2012

Day 466 - Two Lumps Please

I have been watching Youtube footage all morning, and the shows in Sydney were STUNNING, simply STUNNING. Here are the Sydney setlists:


Oops, that's Sid The Sexist, let me try again:




Nope, that's Sid James playing the role of Sidney Fiddler, aka Sidney Sexist in Carry On Girls. Let me try again:


SYDNEY SETLISTS: (GOT THERE EVENTUALLY)

FRIDAY DECEMBER 21ST ENMORE THEATRE, SYDNEY

1. SHOPLIFTERS OF THE WORLD UNITE
2. YOU HAVE KILLED ME
3. YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME, FATTY
4. ALMA MATTERS
5. SPEEDWAY
6. EVERYDAY IS LIKE SUNDAY
7. HOW SOON IS NOW?
8. OUIJA BOARD, OUIJA BOARD
9. ONE DAY GOODBYE WILL BE FAREWELL
10. TO GIVE (THE REASON I LIVE)
11. I'M THROWING MY ARMS AROUND PARIS
12. MEAT IS MURDER
13. LET ME KISS YOU
14. STILL ILL
15. IRISH BLOOD, ENGLISH HEART
16. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME GET WHAT I WANT
17. I KNOW IT'S OVER
18. NOVEMBER SPAWNED A MONSTER
19. THE YOUNGEST WAS THE MOST LOVED
20. SWEET AND TENDER HOOLIGAN
ENCORE
21. FIRST OF THE GANG TO DIE

SATURDAY DECEMBER 22ND SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE

IN                                                            OUT
BLACK CLOUD                                ONE DAY GOODBYE WILL BE FAREWELL
MALADJUSTED                               TO GIVE (THE REASON I LIVE)
ACTION IS MY MIDDLE NAME    SWEET AND TENDER HOOLIGAN


The footage of the Enmore Theatre show posted on Youtube by 'ryandashsdotorg', is possibly the best set of Morrissey videos EVER posted on Youtube by an amateur, and not only is the footage superb, the concert itself is just out of this world. Forget the excitement that my kids are currently feeling leading up to Christmas, the excitement 'I' am currently feeling, knowing that in seventeen days time I will be in Long Island watching Morrissey LIVE, is off the scale.



THE QUEUE FOR MORRISSEY'S NEXT CONCERT ON JAN 9TH HAS BEGUN- L TO R: PRESIDENT KYLE, MOZ FIEND, RAT, JULIA RILEY, KYLE'S DAD, JOYCE


The stand out songs for me from Enmore were; Shoplifters of the World Unite, How Soon Is Now, Let Me Kiss You, I Know It's Over, November Spawned a Monster and Sweet and Tender Hooligan. Somebody in the crowd was waving a huge bunch of blue flowers during Shoplifters, but they weren't roses, so I presume they were ignored. It would appear that the Australians DIDN'T pick up on the BLUE ROSE SOCIETY, but I don't think anybody ever really thought that they would. The only Australian Blue Rose members that I am aware of are Kellie The Crisp, who couldn't attend any concerts, and Comrade Harps, who I don't think took a rose to the Melbourne concert that he attended.

I have stated on twitter that the Enmore performance of 'How Soon Is Now', is BETTER than the Smiths, and I meant it. Morrissey's voice is stronger than it was in the eighties, his band are tight, and although the purists would argue that Johnny Marr's guitar playing is missing, I REALLY can't tell the difference. A Smiths reunion would amount to bringing in two 50 year old djs to play instruments that they no longer play, and losing Boz Boorer. No thanks!

MIKE JOYCE - NOW A DJ

ANDY ROURKE - NOW A DJ


BOZ BOORER - A ONE ARMED TROOPER


Back to Enmore, where during the pause in Speedway, Morrissey sang a snippet of Reel Around the Fountain a capella. The crowd immediately sang along, and who can blame them. 'Reel' is one of my all time Top 5 Moz songs, and I was lucky enough to see Morrissey sing it at Portsmouth Guildhall in March 1985.

A photo has appeared from the Enmore concert showing Morrissey tucking his right hand inside his shirt, just like he did in Manchester, and just like on the MorrisseysWorld blog, but although I have worked my way through the Youtube footage, I am yet to find which song it occurred in. Due to the shirt, I can tell that it was in one of the songs somewhere between Still Ill and Sweet and Tender Hooligan, and I have a hunch it may have been during I Know It's Over, but 'ryandashsdotorg's' footage of that particular song is all close up of Morrissey's head, so I cannot tell.

photo
MORRISSEY ADOPTS THE POSE FROM THE MW BLOG AT THE ENMORE THEATRE, SYDNEY


The Youtube footage of the Sydney Opera House concert, shows that it was another outstanding delivery by Moz and the gang.The night opened with Moz saying, "Why ask for the stars, when you can moon me", before launching straight into a perfect rendition of Everyday Is Like Sunday. The stand out songs are; Sunday, Shoplifters, Youngest, Murder, Kiss You and Please, Please, Please, Please. A lot of the youtube footage has been loaded by '@MizHelena', who has also written a review on her blog, 'MizHelenasRants.blogspot.com.' According to her review, there were a few Moz witticisms, including:

'I'm the kind of person who'll go to the gallows before their time"
"I was born a 95 year old soul"
"I'm so happy I'm going outside to throw myself under a car"
"When I sing of romance, the songs aren't very long."
"Look at my grave and remember these words" before drifting into Please, Please, Please.


MORRISSEY ON STAGE AT THE SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE

So, this leg of the tour is now over, and according to Manclad, Moz is due to land back in Blighty tomorrow afternoon, where he will spend Christmas at Bowden.

I am presuming that nothing happened in Sydney to allow MorrisseysWorld to reopen, but there has been a little bit of activity from MW, both on the blog and on twitter.

A new blog piece entitled simply, 'Walter Ego' has been posted, with a photo of Kevin Marinan hiding his face. The photo also has 'Morrissey Was here' written on the wall. Is Our Mozzer telling us that Marinan IS involved with MorrisseysWorld, or has Rosy Mires got it right, when she says that the author behind MorrisseysWorld HATES Kevin Marinan, and this is his way of getting back at him?


WALTER EGO - THE WRITING'S ON THE WALL


I have been reliably informed that yesterday, Our Mozzer turned up in the MW chat room, along with a number of the MW regulars AND Marinan. Our Mozzer reportedly said that he and Banjaxer had a number of photos of each other, and Our Mozzer posted the one that is now on the blog, with Marinan hiding his face. Our Mozzer then said, "Walter thinks I'm Morrissey. It's absurd. I'm a loser in a flat & Mozzer just plays along." Our Mozzer also added, "Walter is writing a diary about his time with MW so that if the story ever breaks he has his own little diary." 

The wording "his time with MW" is VERY interesting, and further adds to the thought that Marinan IS employed by Moz as his internet troll, just as is stated in the 'Bans Committee' article. The one thing that is certain, is that Marinan's continued denials about being involved in MW are going to REALLY piss off his So-Low mates, particularly Uncle Sweaty and Rosy Mires, who have believed his every word, but if Marinan gets to publish a book on the back of this whole phenomenon, he won't of course care about who he treads on in the process. The Marinan mystery continues.



Our Mozzer briefly appeared on twitter yesterday, but as the account has once again been deleted, I can't report what was said. I was also going to write about some other things today, including me having to read the eulogy at my Step Grandmother's funeral yesterday, but I have now run out of time, so I won't bother. I also haven't yet managed to write the parody piece that I planned for Christmas, so I will try and find the time tomorrow, but tomorrow is of course a VERY special day!

*Goes off singing* But, take me to the haven of your bed, was something that you never said, two lumps please, you're the bees knees, but so am I.

Thursday, 20 December 2012

Day 463 - There's a Little Box of Pine on the 7.29

MorrisseysWorld remains dormant, which is just as well, as I have had to spend the last two days at work, ploughing through Profit & Loss accounts and attending meetings. The lack of a return by Our Mozzer, would tend to suggest that TRM (The Real Morrissey) DIDN'T do anything at the concert in Melbourne to prove "categorically once and for all that he is a MorrisseysWorlder."

The last post on the MW blog has been filled with comments from all the regular MorrisseysWorlders, telling of the pleasure that Our Mozzer has brought to each of them. I of course have added a comment, explaining that I now fully understand that Our Mozzer ISN'T Morrissey, and that he is a parody OF Morrissey. Alan Partridge is NOT Steve Coogan, he is a parody radio presenter, so if you were to ask Partridge questions about Coogan, you would be asking the wrong person.

PARTRIDGE, NOT COOGAN

Partridge ISN'T of course a parody of Coogan, in the same way that David Brent isn't a parody of Ricky Gervais, they are both parody characters, but IF Coogan, or Gervais, or any of these other comedy writers had ever created a parody character of themselves, they would have been lauded as a genius, so IF it is Morrissey behind MW, he has created the FIRST self-aware parody character, and therefore HE should be lauded as a genius. What am I on about, 'IF', it clearly states at the top of the MW blog, "This site as a self-aware parody of the singing icon, legendary wordsmith and imperious monarch of indie music we all know as Moz." Genius!


'R', the MW administrator, has also left comment on the latest MW blog post, criticising the SoLow trolls for their lack of imagination in their troll postings on MW, suggesting that "they are only capable of one bald thought." 'R' signs off with the word 'solOPsistically', although why he emphasises the 'P' as well as the misused 'O', is anybody's guess. The fact that 'R' is having a dig at the SoLowers, would tend to suggest that Walter Ego definitely ISN'T 'R', as Ego is best friends with the SoLow moderators, so could 'R' be the solopsistically misspelling Russell Brand, or maybe it's Michael Bracewell, as suggested many months ago?


BRACEWELL - 'R'?

As well as working for the past two days, I have been finalising the Twitterdilly Arms Top 100, which @WalkerRat will be presenting throughout the day on January 1st, and I have also made a start on a Christmas parody piece, which is already shaping up to be a classic. Forget watching Christmas Top of the Pops and the 1973 Dads Army Christmas Special , 'Following The Mozziah' will fulfill ALL your music and comedy needs during the festive season, and it's all Moz related.

THE 1973 DADS ARMY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL WITH ARTHUR LOWE PLAYING TWO PARTS........CUE MORRISSEY

Back in the real world, Morrissey was back on stage yesterday, this time in Melbourne. There is again a lack of Youtube footage, but from the reviews that I've read, it was the same amazing set as in Brisbane, and once again a brilliant, nay, mesmerizing show. From the footage that I HAVE seen, 'Sweet and Tender Hooligan' is the stand out song for me, and I really, really hope that it's still in the set when I go to New York in January. The song is Moz at his punk best.

Morrissey would appear to have been in a playful mood in Melbourne, telling the audience that he would "clean your bicycle for ever" if they could name the origin of his quote, which was, "There's light enough for what I've got to do." Nobody guessed the origin, and Moz subsequently drifted into 'Please, Please, Please'. It has also been reported that Moz sang a few lines from 'Girl Afraid' during the Speedway pause.

When the band emerged for the encore, Moz said, "And for our final song, I'd like to sing, There's a Little Box of Pine on the 7.29." I'd never heard of this song before, so I looked it up, and discovered that it's an old song by country singer Hank Snow, about a man sent home in a coffin. No need to say, I darted to Youtube to listen to this jolly ditty. Coincidentally, Hank Snow died on this very day in 1999.

MOZ - PLAYFUL IN MELBOURNE


That'll do for today. Tomorrow it's a Christmas shopping trip for me, while Morrissey wows the crowd at the Enmore theatre in Sydney, and then on Saturday, Morrissey wraps up this leg of his tour at the beautiful Sydney Opera House.

 Unless Our Mozzer makes a dramatic return, I probably won't write another blog entry until after the weekend. And now back to those Profit & Loss sheets.


ENMORE THEATRE SYDNEY


NB: The quote before 'Please, Please, Please' was apparently from Oliver Twist, and is a Bill Sikes quote. Thanks to @MorrisseysMum for the answer.....whoever you are.

*Goes off singing* Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, in the midst of life we are in debt etcetera

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Day 461 - Is That a Log in Your Pants, or Are You Just Pleased To See Moz?

There is no Morrissey concert today, the next one is tomorrow in Melbourne. The Brisbane set was the same as the previous one in Auckland, with one exception; Black Cloud (Island) was replaced by One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell. This song change would appear rather apt, as I have awoken this morning to once again find Our Mozzer's twitter account has been deleted, and the MorrisseysWorld blog is threatening to close for good.

BRISBANE CONVENTION CENTRE - THE LATEST LEISURE CENTRE OF CHOICE


The new article on the blog is entitled, 'Our Mozzer deletes his twitter and decides to stop blogging', and it describes how Our Mozzer has become "sick of being confused with the seminal artiste HM (His Morrisseyesque) Morrissey." It says, "Despite the disclaimers and the repeated statements that he is most certainly NOT Morrissey, and despite Morrissey's - so far - four denials, he has realised that as long as he remains in character, people will believe he is Morrissey." The article goes on to explain that although there have been a number of "extraordinary, mesmerizing and fascinating coincidences, these were made to happen by Morrissey, not by Our Mozzer."

OUR MOZZER (WEARING MORRISSEY'S CAP, WHICH HE CAUGHT AT THE END OF 'LET ME KISS YOU' AT THE DARBY AND JONES CLUB IN STREATHAM) - "SICK OF BEING CONFUSED"

The article on MW goes on to say, "We will cease and desist from all further activity unless Morrissey proves categorically once and for all that he is a MorrisseysWorlder and demonstrates his affinity for our community and secret society, the Order of the Blue Rose." The most striking thing about this statement is that the 'BlueRoseSociety' has been renamed the 'Order of the Blue Rose', which is all well and good, but according to my internet research, the Cosmic Goddess (www.thecosmicgoddess.com) has already beaten Our Mozzer to it, and there is a joining fee of 125 dollars!


THE COSMIC GODESS' ORDER OF THE BLUE ROSE - 125 DOLLARS TO JOIN

Mind you, it looks good value for money, as according to the website, for your 125 bucks, you will receive "Three distinct, divine energies, placed into your physical and spiritual hearts." It doesn't however mention luminous blue roses, which I can provide for you at just 5 dollars (plus postage and packing) a shot, as well as 3 foot inflatable red roses, which I can let you have at 6 dollars each, or two for 10 dollars.


Flashing LED Night Light Roses with Green Leaves Home Decor/Perfect  Valentine

LUMINOUS BLUE ROSES FROM TRB'S DISCOUNT EMPORIUM - JUST 5 DOLLARS EACH


Our Mozzer signed off by asking both MorrisseysWorlders and former MorrisseysWorlders to explain what MorrisseysWorld had meant to them.

So, is that it? Has the story finished? Am I destined to return to work on January 15th, or will TRM (The Real Morrissey) do something to PROVE categorically, once and for all, that he is a MorrisseysWorlder? Personally, I think Our Mozzer has been VERY clever with this latest article, as it gives TRM a get out. This article allows Morrissey to either wear a BLUE ROSE, sing Trouble loves Me, or wear an iconic pop t-shirt, whilst still being able to deny any actual authorship of MorrisseysWorld. If TRM were to do any, or ALL of the above, it would no doubt be followed by a FOURTH denial on True To You along the following lines:

STATEMENT: Morrissey would once again like it known that he has no connection with the website MorrisseysWorld, although he has occasionally read it, and has at times found it mildly amusing. Morrissey would like to thank all those who have continued to support him during the year by attending his concerts across the continents of the globe, the gifts and the flowers have been very much appreciated. Despite Morrissey's record breaking tour, he remains without a recording contract.


MORRISSEY WEARING WILDE'S GREEN CARNATION IN LIEGE, BUT IS HE NOW FREE TO WEAR HIS OWN BLUE ROSE?


Now here is an interesting thing, which has been brought to my attention by Heather Cat. Before Russell Brand went to watch Moz last week, he tweeted, "WELLINGTON TONIGHT! Morrissey is here tomorrow. I will remain and worship at the lotus feet of our secular saint of solopsism." I remember reading this tweet at the time, but didn't really give it a second thought, especially as I had NO idea what solopsism meant.

It would appear that Heather also had no idea what solopsism meant, so she looked it up. It transpires, that the word is actually 'Solipsism', spelt with an 'i' not an 'o'. This could of course just have been a simple spelling error by Brand, but A) when you misspell on twitter, the word is underlined by red dots, and B) The very same misspelling of Solipsism was made on the MW blog article on September 4th, entitled 'The reason this must end.' That particular article is signed by none other than.....Leonid Albrecht! Perhaps Leonid and Russell are just poor spellers! There was NO C).

R BRAND - POOR SPELLER


Before his latest disappearance, Our Mozzer did briefly appear in the Twitterdilly Arms yesterday evening at 7.30pm, which would actually have been 5.30am on Tuesday in Brisbane. I can't report on what he said, as the timeline has vanished, but I did have an exchange of words, and he suggested that somebody should dress up as Log Lady and present Morrissey with a log and blue rose. I do love Our Mozzer's romanticism, but he is obviously blissfully unaware of how hard it is to sneak flowers into a concert venue these days, let alone a bleeding tree! I don't mind stuffing artificial roses down my pants, but if he thinks I'm concealing a log down there, while dressed as a female pensioner, he is mistaken.

IS THAT A LOG IN YOUR PANTS, OR ARE YOU JUST PLEASED TO SEE MOZ?

And finally Esther, and finally Cyril, I would like to thank those who left comment on yesterday's blog regarding the Sunday night chat with Morrissey1959. It would appear that SOMETHING happened on stage a while ago, that was linked to the Leonid Albrecht story, and apparently it is so obvious, that Our Mozzer has had to keep the story off the blog. Also in the chat room, M1959 said that Boz was angry with Moz, because Moz had turned down yet another record deal. According to 'SmallBoyJokesAndLoadedGuns', Moz said that accepting the deal would mean losing his self-respect.


NOBODY seemed to see the Isle of Wight shape on the front of Morrissey's shirt during 'Everyday is Like Sunday'in Auckland, but this lack of vision DIDN'T stop the song from reaching poll position in the Twitterdilly Top 10.

THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS TOP 10 - FOR THE WEEK SUN 16TH - SAT 22ND DEC (PUBLISHED AT 12.45pm UK TIME BY @WALKERRAT)

1. EVERYDAY IS LIKE SUNDAY (LIVE IN AUCKLAND) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY)
2. CHRISTMAS KISSES - HAPPY MARTYR (UP 5)
3. FRIDAY MOURNING - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY)
4. NOVEMBER SPAWNED A MONSTER (LIVE IN WELLINGTON) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY)
5. TROUBLE LOVES ME - MORRISSEY (NO CHANGE)
6. SWEET AND TENDER HOOLIGAN (LIVE IN NIAGARA FALLS) - MORRISSEY (NO CHANGE)
7. I'VE CHANGED MY PLEA TO GUILTY - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY)
8. GANGLORD - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY)
9. STILL ILL (LIVE IN AUCKLAND) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY)
10. HEART - RITA PAVONE (DOWN 1)

*Solipsism - is the philosophical idea that only one's own mind is sure to exist. The external world and other minds cannot be known, and might not exist outside the mind* Nope, me neither!