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Monday, 29 July 2013

Day 684 - MorrisseysWorld is Dead... And So Is FollowingTheMozziah

MorrisseysWorld is over... AGAIN!

Two new articles have been posted over the weekend on the MorrisseysWorld.blogspot.com website thingy, the first entitled, 'Why I Created MorrisseysWorld by 'Broken' ', and the second, 'B*gger Them All. They Don't Deserve Me Anyway'.

In the first article, the mysterious 'Broken' writes that it was HE who created MW, explaining that he probably did it because he is "a fat c*nt with no life." His self loathing continues as he describes himself as "a pointless and social phobic gay virgin in his mid-late 30s." To try and help me get a better picture of this genius, whose work I have admired greatly for the past two years, I typed the words 'Gay, fat, pointless, social phobic cunt' into google images, and on the front page came this picture (try it if you don't believe me):



SOCIAL PHOBIC C*NT... AND POSSIBLE AUTHOR OF MORRISSEYSWORLD

Also on the same google image front page is this picture, which is actually the spitting mage of my late grandmother Daisy, but COULD it be Morrissey's mam? Is SHE the one behind MorrisseysWorld?

MORRISSEY'S MAM... POSSIBLE AUTHOR OF MORRISSEYSWORLD

Broken's article also ponders as to WHY Morrissey made all of the MW pledges come true; such as the taking off of the shirt at the Palladium, the accepting of the red, white and blue roses, the accepting of the blue rose ring, the mysterious owl eye signs, the 'V' sign, the tour announcements etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc.

Broken signs off by once again admitting that he is a hairy backed bedsit dweller with bunions, and asks me to post one more of my "obsequious blog articles", to make him "feel like a man."

The second new MW article merely has the following two pictures:








So, there we have it, MorrisseysWorld is OVER! Morrissey1959 apparently returned to the MW chatroom yesterday, but as I wasn't there, and none of the 'Deluded Dozen' want to share their 'secret' chats anymore, I have nothing to tell. I created Following The Mozziah to report on EVERYTHING related to MorrisseysWorld, but now it is over, Following The Mozziah is dead too! I shall write one last parody piece, and then be on my way.

As for the REAL Morrissey, he is happily wandering around LA, posing for pictures with his new personal assistant, John Robb!


MORRISSEY WITH NEW PA, JOHN ROBB. NOTE THE BLUE FOUR LEAF CLOVERS ON THE SHIRT OF THE PHOTOGRAPHER! A COINCIDENCE? 'LIFE' IS A COINCIDENCE!

The Blue Rose Society shall live forever, but from me, it is a final thank you and goodbye.

Rat


AND NOW YOU KNOW WHY I'M CALLED WHISKERS! JUST JOKING, THIS ISN'T REALLY A PHOTO OF ME... NOT A RECENT ONE, AT LEAST.

Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Day 679 - TWTWTW... FTM Is Tipped the Wink as Morrissey's Backers Run Out of Petrol, MW Is Back, Part of an EXCLUSIVE Interview and more!

Last Tuesday I jetted off on holiday to the Canary Islands, happy in the knowledge that I was to be away from the internet for a week, with NOTHING happening in the world of Morrissey, as we awaited the eventual start of his tour in Argentina next week. How wrong I was!

No sooner had I left than BAM (No, not the Brooklyn Academy of Music, that has nothing to do with anything here, except for the fact that they keep sending me regular emails telling me what's on at their lovely theatre (theater), just because I happened to visit it earlier this year. If they think I'm going to hop on a plane to New York just to come and watch their 'Summer Youth Programs (Programmes)', then they are sadly mistaken!) Where was I before that long winded bracket started? Oh yes... No sooner had I left (the UK for my holiday in the Canaries (Tenerife to be precise), then BAM, the MorrisseysWorld blog suddenly reappeared with the following article -
 'Our Mozzer pledges to return if Morrissey gives one of the following signs:' This was followed by a list of:
1. Morrissey announces a British concert in a leisure centre (Ed - Evens Favourite)
2. an official photograph with a blue rose and Morrissey together (20/1)
3. Morrissey sings or quotes "Baby" by Justin Bieber live or in an interview (33/1)
4. Morrissey gives an official interview to FollowingTheMozziah.Blogspot.Com (1000/1)

This was then followed by a hilarious "brief snippet" of 'The Mozzer World Order Part 2', which was no doubt written months ago.

This BAM was then immediately followed by WHAM (No, not George and Andrew getting back together with Pepsi & Shirley)... a posting on my blog by Morrissey, which read:


Watch closely. L00K.


This was then followed by CALAM (ITY). A TTY statement announcing that the South American tour was off because the promotors had no petrol money left (or something like that!) The TTY statement was actually entitled 'If I By Chance Your Eye Offend You', which I believe is a Houseman quote. The "Watch closely", "LooK" and 'Eye' references were all no doubt coincidental, and the fact that the TTY statement is dated July 19th makes it l'oo'k as though the comment on my blog came later, but it's all smoke and mirrors, I can confirm that the TTY statement DEFINITELY WASN'T THERE when the above was posted on my blog... or WAS it?


Despite Our Mozzer declaring that the MW site would "remain dead" unless one of the four listed things occurred, on Sunday 21st July, ANOTHER hugely amusing article appeared, entitled 'The Art Of Doing Nothing', and then yesterday, the piece considered by some to be Our Mozzer's finest hour was republished, 'A Brief Surrealist Essay on Emnity', along with a few other old favourites including 'Bans Committee'.

The new articles (and the old of course), really are very good, so are we to see more, or does one of the 4 in the list now have to happen first?

Whilst I idled my week away in the sun, I apparently missed a few sessions of Our Mozzer in the MW chat room, and although somebody has kindly published a couple of the things mentioned on my blog, I have no idea what else may have been said, so if you were there, please leave comment to let me know. From the comments that HAVE been left, it would appear the Our Mozzer started to answer the interview questions that members of the BRS posted months ago. Here are the questions and answers:


Climmy Worseapple Question:
Sometimes, when I cry, I sit with a mirror before me and imagine that I am my own nonexistent disillusioned long-term partner, looking with scorn at my puffy, leaking face - immune to the rotting diseases of affection and empathy for "myself" thanks to a tough course of painful injections and some hard-earned antibodies. Your recent release of 'Last of the Famous International Playboys', did not make it into the Top 100 in the UK, did this disappoint you?

Morrissey1959 response:
Now that I'm about as relevant as a bar of soap at a heavy metal gathering, it came as little surprise that my single failed to chart. The noise generation want immediate, unimaginative melody, words attuned to the repulsive cannabis-fuelled orgy that passes for pop culture these days, and electronic sounds. I gave them... well, I gave them exactly that - and it still failed!
Similarly my mystique could never be compared to that of Garbo. I would compare myself to Julie Goodyear, or, at a push, Larry Grayson.

Lizzycatmoz Question:
My question for Morrissey AKA Our Mozzer is, and I consider this to be 'personal' however not ' personal life.' Having been extremely ill and on IV drips for 5 weeks, I'm sure the experience changed you, but what I'd really like to know, but am afraid to ask, so am relying on that b**tard Rat to completely change and 'sex up' my question a bit, is: You have used lots of homoerotic imagery in your art over the years, and yet I have found you quite flirty, do you bat for both sides?

Morrissey1959 response:
I don't bat at all. And on the odd occasion I've tried, the balls always seem to catch me off-guard.

MozzeriansATW Question:
Will you ever let everyone know that you do know about the BlueRosESociety? Will you let it be known?

Morrissey1959 response:
One day the world will hear who is behind MorrisseysWorld. I firmly believe this experience will go down as one of the most bizarre and unprecedented in history.
For years I was available.
And only a handful noticed.

Lizzycatmoz Question:
It must be a unique experience that someone as famous and iconic as you, allows us to interact with you. I still can't believe that it happens even after 2 years.

Morrissey1959 response:
Well I am not Morrissey
But yes, I take your point
I wonder how history will judge this experiment
insanity? Genius? The desperation of an artist in decline? A intimate and beautiful digression?
Once the public at large know this site will vanish only a small number will have seen everything, and will understand.









There is so much more that I wanted to write today, but I have run out of time. I am off to play cricket, and tomorrow I am away watching cricket in a place called Hook. I have no time to mention Moz being photographed in an LA record shop, being spotted at a Savage concert, the Guardian writing Morrissey off YET AGAIN, Rustic Bland including a Moz song on Des Island Discs (well done Rustle for not choosing a cliche Smiths song) etc etc. I haven't even found time to break up my blog with some amusing photos, so I doubt anybody is still reading this far down the page, but what am I to do... my cricket team need me, so off I must trot.

Before I go, I MUST mention that Comrade Harps has written a hysterical parody piece entitled 'These Men Here'. Just as Morrissey the lyricist influenced many bands with his writing, his alter ego, 'Our Mozzer', is doing the same with his satirical writing. I hope we see more from Comrade Harps, his first piece really is very, very funny. Read here : http://seasoncreep.blogspot.com.au/p/thesemen-here-amorrissey-parody-piece.html

And finally for today, 'GirlWithout' has pointed out that the 'Still Whorin' Father' reference comes from a piece written on Solow on Boxing Day 2009 by Father Neil Horan. See if you recognise the writing style: http://www.morrissey-solo.com/threads/106182-Morrissey-has-Goose-for-Christmas.

*Goes off humming 'Baby' by Biebs*

Monday, 15 July 2013

Day 670 - The Penne is Mightier Than the Chord

Forgive me Father, for I have binned!

Following my last blog entry of July 10th, 'Blue Rose' himself left the following comment:



It would require a VERY unambiguous sign to bring me back, and unfortunately The True Artiste doesn't DO unambiguous.

Our Mozzer



This was the first time that Morrissey/Our Mozzer/The Mozziah/Blue Rose had left a comment on my blog for many months, and it proved what many of us had hoped and suspected, that Mozzer was still visiting these pages, and was still maintaining an interest in The Blue Rose Society.


Our Mozzer's comment immediately got me wondering if we were about to get 'a sign', albeit not an 'unambiguous' one, and WE DID, but I binned it by mistake! Let me explain. Apart from the regular members of the 'Deluded Dozen' who often leave comments on my blog, I also get left an awful lot of spam comments, plus a number of nasty comments from the Solowers, so when I can be bothered, I trawl through and delete them. I was on one such trawl the other day, when I deleted a comment left by somebody calling themselves 'Ambiguous', which mentioned "The whorin' father." I had no idea what this comment was about, and presumed it was a solower, so I deleted it. Later that day, Morrissey issued a statement on TTY regarding his food poisoning incident, and he posted a photo of.... well, see for yourself:



12 July 2013
See the luck I've had

Morrissey Live
I can't give words to the sorrow I feel at the loss of perfect Peru. Oh, black cloud. After such a victorious and uplifting welcome of Lima love, the contaminated jinx had its way via a simple restaurant meal of penne pasta and tomato. Three hours later, both I, and security Liam have collapsed with a deadly and delirious bedridden disease. Five days of round-the-clock medical supervision just barely controls the corrosively toxic food poisoning. I know my luck too well. Sorrow replaces joy, and in every dream home a heartache. It could only be me.
I have returned to Los Angeles and to the expert supervision of my doctor Jeremy Fine, who assures me that I shall be fine (although not in the gossamer, powdery sense) for our upcoming shows in Argentina and Brazil. I have absolutely no idea where my beloved Chile has gone. In the heat of cancellations and postponements, the humiliation and mortification I feel on a personal level is too mammoth to be measured. If my spirits climb down any lower I could never again find the dignity to stand upright. We all live at the mercy of biological chance, and although I am not one to take refuge in clich├ęs, I repeat my very servile apologies to any and all who back-packed their way to Peru. Alas, the dark shadow made the same journey.
Each year of life brings us nearer to our decline, but I will continue to seek a listener until I'm dead in a ditch.

with all the soul of the world
MORRISSEY
12 July 2013, Los Angeles.



DR JEREMY FINE - VOTED 'CALIFORNIA'S MOST COMPASSIONATE DOCTOR' 2010 (TRUE!)



So, it would appear that I deleted an 'ambiguous' sign. Now we must wait for an 'unambiguous' one, and the wait might not have to be too long, because the good news is, the South American tour is BACK ON, starting in Buenos Aires on July 28th.

*Please note that today's very witty blog title comes courtesy of girlwithout.

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Day 665 - .... And It Never Really Began

The tour is off! Morrissey has cancelled his South American tour at the last minute, and the fear is that illness has struck again. It could of course be that my mentioning of The Ashes series has got Moz all excited, and he has grabbed the first flight home so that he can watch Jimmy Anderson and Co rip the Aussies apart, but unfortunately it's probably a bit more serious than that.

Morrissey will no doubt be desperately disappointed that he has been unable to return to the stage, but hopefully he can now be around the right people, eating the right foods, and be looked after until he is properly ready to return to singing live again. Perhaps we will see him turn up unannounced at Bestival on September 7th to help JM with some old Smiths songs. You never know!

Get well soon Mozzer.

I shall now return outdoors, into the glorious English sunshine that we are currently enjoying, and I shall continue to enjoy the best cricket season that I have had for years and years. I may be some time.....


Oh, and by the way, he did tune in after all! Here are the latest FTM audience figures:

Pageviews by Countries

Graph of most popular countries among blog viewers
EntryPageviews
United States
255
United Kingdom
153
Peru
78
France
62
Germany
18
Mexico
10
Australia
8
Italy
7
Indonesia
6
Croatia
5


Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Day 664 - Let The People Stare 'OO'

The time has come! No, I am not referring to the England vs Australia Ashes series which starts this week (although that is pretty damn exciting!), I am of course referring to the return to the stage this evening of The Mozziah - Morrissey is back! *Waves palm leaves, blue roses etc*

Tonight, despite his recent near touches with death, Morrissey will walk onto the stage at the Jockey Club in Lima, and all will once again be well with the world. From various pictures posted around the internet, Morrissey looks to be in good nick, with no signs of imminent death, so hopefully it will be an illness (and death) free tour.



MORRISSEY SIGNS AUTOGRAPHS IN PERU WHILE LIAM THE BODYGUARD PUTS TO USE HIS SKILLS AS A FORMER CINEMA USHERETTE TO SHINE THE LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUT (UNLESS THE BATTERIES GO!) KEVIN 'SNIPPER' PHILLIPS HOVERS IN THE BACKGROUND


THE DIMPLED PRINCE - AGAIN WITH LIAM AND KEV



A MAN WITH A STRANGE HOODIE/JACKET COMBO MEETS MOZ WHILE LIAM KEEPS A WATCHFUL EYE SUPPORTED BY A MAN WHO LOOKS AS THOUGH HE HAS COME STRAIGHT FROM THE SERBIAN MAFIA (ALTHOUGH THE AWFUL FLEECE SWEATSHIRT WOULD SUGGEST OTHERWISE!)



MYLENE KLASS CLINGS TO FAME... LITERALLY

Morrissey once said in an interview that, "It is incredibly expensive to tour, and without a sponsor or a rich spinster aunt, we can't travel far. I'd need to inherit a shipping fortune to get myself to South America." Despite Mozzer's claims, here he is, back in South America for the second year on the trot, but it would appear that it isn't thanks to a rich spinster aunt, but to 'Cristal', Chile's Number 1 lager.








So, as we wait with anticipation for Morrissey's return to the stage (which will be in the middle of the night in the UK as we are 6 hours ahead of Lima), what songs can we expect to hear, and will there be much Youtube footage? If a leaked set list from rehearsals is to be believed, we are in for a treat.




'Hand in Glove' as an opener would be mesmerizing, and no doubt everybody would think it is Morrissey singing it to celebrate the thirtieth anniversary of the song, but the Blue Rose Society would of course think differently. I once wrote in this very blog that the 'Blue Rose Society' was OUR 'Hand in Glove', and it could well be that Morrissey has picked up on that. What is more, this is a tour celebrating 25 years as a solo artist, NOT 30 years as a singer!

Alternatively, Morrissey could of course be opening with 'HiG' as his way of putting two fingers up to Mike Joyce, who back in January told The Sun newspaper that he had had a dream about The Smiths getting back together and opening with 'HiG'. If Morrissey opens with 'HiG', I would interpret it as Morrissey saying to Joyce, 'I am still here, still singing my songs, and all you have is dreams.... you cunt'.

The inclusion of 'Yes I am Blind' and 'Asleep' into the set would surely be as a result of them both being sung earlier in the year during the 'Speedway' pause. It's almost as though the 'Speedway' pause is being used as a preview of what is to come at a later date. The same happened with 'That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore', although there has been no sign of a full rendition of Victoria Wood's 'Northerners'!

If this is to be the set list in Lima, I will be especially looking out for Youtube footage of 'There is a Light That Never goes Out' and 'I Know It's Over', to see if there are any references to MorrisseysWorld or the Blue Rose Society. It was during 'Light' in Lima last year that Moz held his heart in a masonic pose having told us on the MW blog to look out for it. The reason I will be looking out for 'I Know It's Over' is because I was left the following message on my last blog entry:


fpy fpy fpy [sidr4 July 2013 11:19
Dpttu Tsy
O lmpe oyd pbrt
#NTD


Perhaps the message ISN'T from my old friend 'Spirit of Nico', but maybe.....


And finally for today, I have in the past published the latest audience figures from my blog, which always showed an increase in readership from whatever country Morrissey happened to be in. It always amused Loughton Lil (whatever happened to him?), but my latest audience figures show NO sign of any readers from Peru, so I think it is safe to say that Morrissey no longer follows me following him, although of course I haven't actually written anything since he's been in Peru, so I will see if anything happens to the figures now that I've started writing again!



Pageviews by Countries

Graph of most popular countries among blog viewers
EntryPageviews
United States
990
United Kingdom
356
France
313
Germany
160
Poland
81
Iran
56
Philippines
48
Russia
46
Japan
25
Australia
20

NOT A SINGLE CLICK FROM SOUTH AMERICA IN THE PAST WEEK


*Goes off singing* Yes, we may be hidden by rags, but we've something they'll never have

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