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Thursday, 31 January 2013

Day 505 - Bleeding on the Inside Part 2

SCENE 4
The setting is a private suite in the William Beaumont Hospital, Royal Oak, Michigan USA. It is late afternoon on Friday January 25th 2013. Morrissey has just given a sample of his urine to Dr Rodriguez, who has taken it away to be tested. Morrissey takes out his Apple iphone and makes a call to his trusted friend/secretary/musical director/dogsbody Martin 'Boz' Boorer who is laying on his bed in the tour bus, which is parked in the car park of the hospital. Boorer's phone rings with the ringtone 'Rockabilly Guy' and Morrissey's name flashes up on the screen. Before answering, Boz starts to sing along to the ringtone.


THE MORRISSEY BAND TOUR BUS - PARKED IN THE HOSPITAL CAR PARK


BOZ: (Singing) Well, going down the road, looking mighty cool, I may act funny but I ain't no fool. (Stops singing and answers the call) Hello Moz, it's not like you to make an actual phone call, I feel quite touched. Where are you?

MOZ: Alone, Boz, always alone. Where do you think I am you clot, I'm in the hospital. What took you so long to answer the phone? Singing along to your 'Rockabilly Guy' ring tone again were you? If you must insist on having one of those ridiculously childish ringtones, you could at least have one of 'my' masterpieces sounding out. Why don't you make 'Mama Lay Softly on the Riverbed' your ringtone, then you could actually have one of your own compositions to sing along to when your phone rings? (Smirks to himself, knowing what's going to come back).

BOZ: I didn't write 'that' one, it was Alain. I suppose I could use 'Black Cloud', that was one of mine.

MOZ: I think you'll find Boz, old son, that you nicked that tune from Alain's 'A Swallow on Me Knackers', I can't remember the last time you wrote an original tune Boz, I 'really' can't. It's just as well that I haven't managed to get us a record deal yet, we STILL don't have a single decent tune to offer them. Perhaps I should consider an a cappella album?

BOZ: You're obviously feeling better then Moz?

MOZ: I lost all sense of feeling the day I was born Boz, but as you ask, the Doctor has taken a sample of my urine, on loan might I add, and based on your diagnosis that I have a bladder infection, it is being tested for such.

BOZ: Are you coming back to the bus then, I thought we might all go out for a pizza.

MOZ: Boz, have you not forgotten that I have had to cancel 'three' concerts because of you and your so called musicians all being ill? The last thing I need is for you lot to be seen wandering the streets of whatever God forsaken town we currently happen to be in. NONE of you are to leave the bus, do you understand? If you really MUST eat, get your pizzas delivered.

BOZ: But....

MOZ: (Interrupting) Enough Boz! I have decided to stay the night in this rather spacious, private hospital suite until tomorrow, when I shall find out 'just' how ill I really am, although I 'know' it's an ulcer and not a mere bladder infection as diagnosed by you. That wikipedia research you did a few weeks ago was nowhere near as thorough as mine Boz. Sometimes I get the impression you just don't care about me anymore. I sometimes wonder if you 'ever' cared!

BOZ: (Sounding hurt) Of course I care Moz, you'll never know just how much!

MOZ: Well I get the distinct feeling that you're thinking of leaving the band again Boz. May I remind you of your last wobble, when you nearly left to join Adam sodding Ant. Just think Martin, if I hadn't pointed out the error of your ways, you would now be playing venues like Great Yarmouth pier.

BOZ: Didn't we play there Moz?

MOZ: That was irony Boz, your mate Adam plays these two bit venues for real.

BOZ: I DO still care Moz, honest I do, and you know I'd NEVER leave you, you're the best there is, the VERY best. Can I bring anything over for you, and shall I issue a statement on True To You about your bladder infection?

MOZ: It's not a sodding bladder infection you goat, it's an ulcer I tell yer, and anyway, the last thing I want is anybody knowing I'm ill. Make NO announcements Boz, let's keep them all guessing as to where I am. They might think I've died, not that anybody would care, certainly not that Solow lot, they'd dance with joy on my grave, and then write on my headstone how much they loved me, the sanctimonious, hypocritical bastards. Right, can you bring over a clean pair of silk pj's, my slippers, my ipad, the Hitchens book, oh and Boz, can you nip out and find some of those crisps I like, you know the ones, the ones that look like Wotsits but are cheesier. Oh, and some chocolate, get some chocolate Boz, and a few other little nibbles too, you know the sort of thing. You'd better dress up as Gaynor, I don't want you being recognised, or send out what's his name, the new drummer, nobody will EVER recognise him, I don't even think I would. Funnily enough, when I turned around the other day during Meat is Murder to watch the video, I saw him sitting there behind the drums and I thought to myself, 'Who the bloody hell are you?' Anyway, I can't speak for any longer Boz, the radiation these mobile phones give off will be poisoning my brain cells, I'll expect you in about thirty minutes. (Morrissey presses a button and ends the call.)

SCENE 5
The setting is the ultra scan room of the WB hospital in Royal Oak. It is early afternoon on Saturday January 26th 2013. Morrissey is in the room with two radiographers, Juan Martinez and Dick DeVos. Morrissey is sat upright on the couch.

JUAN M: Could you please remove your shirt Mr Morrissey? (Morrissey stands up)

MOZ: (Singing) But then, you open your eyes, and you see someone that you physically despise (rips shirt open and tosses it into the air. Juan Martinez and Dick DeVos both reach up to catch the shirt and manage to grab an arm each. A tug of war struggle ensues with neither man giving an inch. They start to push and shove each other and end up rolling around on the floor fighting while Morrissey watches, looking almost content. Doctor Rodriguez walks in.)

DOCTOR R: (Shouting) What the hell is going on here? William Beaumont will be turning in his grave. (The two men ignore Dr Rodriquez and carry on fighting. Dr Rodriguez grabs a pair of scissors and cuts the shirt down the middle. The two fighting men look content with the outcome and respectfully shake hands, just like two fighters at the end of a bout.) I am SO sorry Mister Morrissey.

MOZ: (Shrugging his shoulders and raising his eyebrows, as if to say he just doesn't understand WHY the men would fight over his shirt.) These things happen.

DOCTOR R: (To the radiographers) Now then, if you two have quite finished bringing embarrassment upon the William Beaumont, shall we get on with the job in hand? (To Morrissey) If you would just like to lay down on your side, I will just apply some gel to your stomach and we can start the scan. (Just then Morrissey's phone rings. He looks at the phone and sees that it is his PR agency Susan Blond. He answers.)

MOZ: Hello Susan, I'm afraid I can't talk at the moment, I'm having tests done on a suspected bladder infection. I'll contact you later. (Morrissey ends the call.)

LAUREN PAPAPIETRO: Hello, Mister Morrissey? Mister Morrissey? Can you hear me? It's not Susan, she's got the weekend off. I've got the press on my back wanting a statement. Hello? Hello? (To self) A bladder infection eh? Right, I'll let the press know.

MOZ: (To Doctor Rodriguez who is running a hand held scanner over Morrissey's stomach) Sorry about that, it was my PR. So Doc, how's the old bladder holding up?

DOCTOR R: Your bladder seems fine, in fact the urine sample showed nothing wrong at all, but it's your stomach I'm more concerned with, you have an ulcer.

MOZ: I knew it, I told that lummox it was an ulcer.

DOCTOR R: It's not just any old ulcer I'm afraid, it's a bleeding one, this is more serious than we thought. I wonder what has caused it?

MOZ: Physical blows result in external bruises and bleeding Doctor, but the blows I have had to suffer at the hands of the British press and my own so called fans have obviously ripped my insides to shreds. My heart has been bleeding for years and it comes as no surprise to me that the rest of my organs are now crying too, they are tormented and tortured. How long have I got left to live Doctor? Don't hold back, give it to me straight.

DOCTOR R: I'll put you on a course of antibiotics and advise that you take things easy for a couple of weeks, but apart from that, you're as good as gold.

MOZ: Really? Right then, I'll be on my way. Could you just get my pot of urine for me please, I wouldn't want your two helpers here fighting over that too, they could end up like I did in Liverpool during Black Cloud. I convinced myself for years it was beer in that pot that hit me, but, well....

SCENE 6
Morrissey is laying on his bed in the tour bus as it is driving along. It is the afternoon of Sunday January 27th 2013. Boz Boorer is laying next to him. Morrissey is reading various websites on the internet.

MOZ: Boz, what did I say about NOT putting any statements on True To You? Who put the one about the band being ill? (Boz goes red)

BOZ: Er, it must have been Julia, Moz, although I thought, I mean, I expect Julia thought it would be OK to give an explanation for the three cancelled gigs, and I didn't mention, I mean, SHE didn't mention your bladder like that dippy PR girl.

MOZ: That PR girl has explained herself Boz, and it was a genuine mistake, but I've told you before, I don't want ANY negative comments on True To You, we've got So-Low for that, I only want positive comments on our unofficial, official website, if any of the record companies read it, we want them to see how successful we are, we need to keep pointing out that we sell out venues, and that our songs get nominated for prizes. We're putting ourselves on the shelf Boz, and if we want them to buy, we need to dress ourselves up a bit, do you understand?

BOZ: Is that why you killed off Gaynor Tension?

MOZ: Yes Boz, the tom foolery's over, we're a serious rock band with a punky edge. A new record deal can't be too far away now, old son, but we ALL have to up our game.

BOZ: Is that why you got rid of your MorrisseysWorld thing too?

MOZ: You know FULL well that wasn't me, it was either an obsessed fan or one of the crew playing silly buggers. Now, log yourself on to the True To You website and get that article off about you being ill.

BOZ: Shall I put anything about your bleeding ulcer? It don't half sound nasty Moz.

MOZ: Have you listened to a word I've said? NO, don't mention ANYTHING about ANY illnesses, and don't mention anything about any concerts being cancelled, we can't let the record labels think we're unreliable. Having said that, it's only fair that the fans understand just how brave I am being about this VERY serious illness of mine, so get back onto Susan Blond's office and get them to issue another statement regarding my condition. (Hands Boz a piece of paper) Here, I've written the statement, so email it over to Lauren, I think Susan's off still. I've decided to cancel another six concerts, the Doctor said I should cancel the whole tour and have twenty four hour supervision, but I don't want to make a fuss, so we'll just cancel those six shitty shows that we didn't really want to do anyway, and we'll kick off again in Vegas on February the 9th, where according to twitter, there should be a good turn out of the Blue Rose Society.

BOZ: I thought you said you've never used twitter?

MOZ: I merely peek Boz, merely peek. Right, off you go, and when you've cancelled the concerts, sent the email, and removed your silly statement from True To You, can you tell the driver to head for the Four Seasons in St Louis, I'm going to treat myself to a week of pampering before we hit Vegas. You may as well fly home for a few days Boz, leave me and my ulcer to bleed in peace.

Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Day 504 - Bleeding on the Inside Part 1

SCENE 1
The setting is on board the Morrissey tour bus. It is mid afternoon on Thursday January 24th 2013. The tour bus is parked outside the James H Whiting Auditorium in Flint, Michigan, USA, which is the venue for the evening's Morrissey concert. Morrissey is laying on the bed of his private quarters at the back of the tour bus, he is wearing silk pyjamas, a silk dressing gown and a pair of hand made designer slippers with the initial 'M' and the Morrissey coat of arms embroidered on each slipper. The elequent look is some what spoiled by the second world war gas mask which is strapped tightly to Morrissey's face. He is reading Hitch 22 by Christopher Hitchens, and also has an ipad laying on the bed with twitter open. The sound of coughing, sneezing and wheezing can be heard emanating from all sections of the bus and each time there is a cough or a sneeze, Morrissey tuts to himself.

As Morrissey reads, clumpy footsteps can be heard coming in his direction, which causes him to look up in surprise as NOBODY is allowed to enter Morrissey's private area on the tour bus unless they have been previously invited, which isn't very often. The clumping stops and the flu infected voice of Morrissey's musical director, Martin 'Boz' Boorer can be heard on the other side of  Morrissey's privacy curtain.

BOZ: Moz? Moz, are you (coughs)... there?

MOZ: (Removes his gas mask and adopts a Kenneth Williams voice) No! Go away, you germ infested lump of lard. (Puts gas mask back on)

BOZ: Moz, it's me (coughs), Boz!

MOZ:  (removing mask) I know full well who it is, now fuck off before I have you ejected from the bus you selfish cunt. You have no right to be up the rear end (smirks quietly to himself at his witty 'Carry On' style joke) ..... spreading your filth. (Puts mask back on)

BOZ: Moz, I'm really suffering here Moz, and so are some of the (bursts into a stream of sneezes followed by a coughing fit. Morrissey screws his face up behind his curtain) others. I don't think I'll even stay awake until ten thirty tonight Moz, let alone play the guitar very well.

MOZ: (Removing mask) Nothing new there then! (smirks to himself and then pulls open the curtain). Christ, you look dreadful! Nothing new there either I suppose. (smirks again). Boz, I told you before we started this tour, there can be NO MORE cancellations, I'm trying to show the record labels that I'm still a relevant force, but what with your visa problems and your drummers having sore eyes and your guitarists having bad backs etcetera etcetera, I've had to cancel FAR too many shows already. Do you WANT to turn me into a laughing stock?

BOZ: But it was YOU who....

MOZ: (Interrupting) ENOUGH of your excuses Boz, I don't want to hear it. Now listen old son,  you've managed to keep going with your slight wrist injury, so I'm sure a little cold won't stop you. What about me with my dreadful stomach cramps, but do I go on about it?

BOZ: Well actually....

MOZ: (Interrupting) I mean, really Boz, I'm having to act as your nurse maid these days, I've provided you with a top of the range arm rest AND an executive face mask, what MORE do you want?

BOZ: I know Moz, and you've been more than generous, but it's not just me, I'd battle on, you know I would, it's the others, they're really suffering with this flu bug.

MOZ: Bloody foreigners, I knew we should have bought British, I should never have listened to you when you suggested we have Yanks and South Americans in the band, they just don't have the same bulldog spirit that we Brits have Boz. (Boz goes to say something but stops himself and coughs instead. Morrissey puts his gas mask back on and continues to talk in a muffled voice) Why DID we hire all those foreigners?

BOZ: Because they were half the price! And also, you said we'd look more cultured with some swarthy types.

MOZ: I don't think I probably used that exact terminology Boz, but you certainly DO get better value for money with old Johnny foreigner, and what is more (removes gas mask) you don't get the farting and burping that you get with the English lot. No, on reflection, the foreigners are a better bet, but they really don't understand the importance of 'the show must go on.' I'll tell you what Boz, if it's an early night you're after, I'll allow you to nip into the old James Whitebait theatre, and tell them that we're bringing the show forward by an hour, now off you go. (Boz goes to say something but Moz interrupts) There is no need to thank me Boz, now just get on and do it before I change my mind.

(Boz heads back to the front of the bus and goes to the other band members.)

BOZ: I'm afraid boys, the show MUST go on. (To Solomon) Sol, Moz has asked for you to go and tell the theatre manager that we will be going on at eight instead of nine. (Solomon nods and goes off)

JESSE: (In thick Spanish accent. To Boz.) Boss, I don't think I can play at all tonight, I am very sick. (coughs).

BOZ: I'm sorry Jesse, he's having none of it, we are playing tonight so just do your best, and try not to fuck up during Meat is Murder again, you've won a lot of people over lately, we don't want to give the Solow lot a reason to have another pop.

JESSE: Who eez the Soho lot?

BOZ: There's something to be said for blissful ignorance my friend, how I'd love to live in your world.

JESSE: You and your good wife are more than welcome to come and live in my house. (Boz smiles before turning away and raising his eyebrows).

( ONE HOUR LATER)

Morrissey is still in his quarters reading when he hears clumping footsteps approaching. Before the footsteps get too close, Morrissey calls out.

MOZ: Who goes there?

BOZ: It's me Moz.

MOZ: What is it now Martin?

BOZ: I've brought the concert forward Moz, and I've had a long chat with the boys about how we must all battle on and that there can be no cancellations. I have to say Moz, I'm really impressed with their attitude, they are determined to play on whatever.

MOZ: Tonight's concert is off Boz, there's been some bad news. I'm cancelling the next two dates too. (Opens the curtain and hands Boz a piece of paper) Here, log on to True To You and type in this statement.

BOZ: (Reading the piece of paper) "Postponed due to band illness?"

MOZ: Yes Boz, the band 'are' ill aren't they?

BOZ: Well yes, but......

MOZ: (INTERRUPTING) and being the caring employer that I am, I have decided to give you all the next four nights off, unpaid of course. Now, Boz, can you please go and issue the statement, let all the band and crew know what's going on, and then tell the driver to head to the William Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak, I've decided to get me cramps sorted.

SCENE 2
The setting is the reception desk of the William Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak, Michigan, USA. It is Friday January 25th 2013

RECEPTIONIST - LANA: Hello Sir, can I help?

MOZ: Can anybody?

LANA: I'm sorry sir?

MOZ: And so am I.

LANA: I'm afraid I can't don't understand sir, and would you mind removing your gas mask, I can't hear you very well. (Morrissey removes his gas mask).

MOZ: I believe you are expecting me, my secretary Miss Tension should have phoned ahead to book me in.

LANA: No problem. What is your name please sir?

MOZ: Ronald Wycherley.

LANA: (Types name into computer) We have nobody expected under that name sir.

MOZ: Kenneth Williams?

LANA: (Types into computer) No, I'm afraid not.

MOZ: Surely the buffoon hasn't booked me in as Morrissey?

LANA: (Types into computer) Yes sir, we 'are' expecting a Mr Morrissey, have you any other names?

MOZ: Not that I use, no.

LANA: We do need to know your full name please sir.

MOZ: OK, it's Steven, with a 'V' not a 'ph', Patrick.

LANA: Thank you. And your date of birth?

MOZ: I'm in my very late forties.

LANA: And when is your birthday?

MOZ: May the twenty second, but please don't send a card.

LANA: (Laughs falsely) So, May twenty second, nineteen sixty three?

MOZ: That sounds close enough.

LANA: And your address Mister Morrissey?

MOZ: Well, there's a thing. I don't stay in any one place for very long.

LANA: (starting to lose a little patience) Where are you currently staying?

MOZ: In your car park.

LANA: Sir, I really do need an address. Our system is showing 384 Kings Road in Manchester, England, do you still live there?

MORRISSEY: I never did 'live' there, I merely existed. Now, could somebody please show me to my room?

LANA: I don't believe Miss Tension booked a private room for you sir, she just said that you (checks notes on computer), yes here it is, Miss Tension said that you have a bladder infection and that you just need some tablets.

MOZ: So, he thinks he's a doctor does he?

LANA: Miss Tension's a man? Actually, it did sound like a man now that you mention it.

MOZ: She has a cold!

LANA: (Looking ever more bewildered) If you'd like to take a seat Mister Morrissey, I'll get a doctor to come and see you as soon as I can.

MOZ: I can't sit around in a waiting room, I might pick up some germs, I have a show on Monday.

LANA: Oh my God, I've just realised who you are, you were the lead singer of The Smiths. I just love The Smiths, I've got every cassette you ever made. I would just love it if you guys got back together, Johnny Marr is God.

MOZ: I have Boz Boorer these days, perhaps not a God, but all the same, he can hold a tune.

LANA: I can't believe it's you, wait until I tell my friend Mike, he'll go ape when he finds out I met you, he's an even bigger fan than me. Let me take you up to one of the suites and I'll get Doctor Rodriguez to see you right away. (Lana leads Morrissey off.)

SCENE 3
(Twenty minutes later in a private suite at the Hospital. Morrissey is sat waiting to be seen. A good looking male doctor enters the room. He is in his early thirties and is of Latino appearance.)

DOCTOR R: Good afternoon Mister Morrissey, may I start by saying what an honour it is to be treating you, I am a huge fan....

MOZ: (Interrupting) Of The Smiths?

DOCTOR R: No, of yours. Years of Refusal is undoubtedly the greatest piece of vinyl ever produced.

MOZ: Pinch me mother.

DOCTOR R: Sorry?

MOZ: You have NOTHING to be sorry for.

DOCTOR R: Now, I believe you think you may have a bladder infection so I need to start by taking a sample of your urine.

MOZ: It wasn't me who mentioned my bladder, it was my useless secretary, I think it's an ulcer. Kenneth had ulcers you know?

DOCTOR R: Kenneth Williams do you mean? A comic genius, and SO misunderstood.

MOZ: Am I in heaven?

DOCTOR R: No, Michigan, heaven's the next state, although I've heard it's not all it's cracked up to be. Now, can you please go into the bathroom and fill this test tube?

MOZ: (Looking at how thin the tube is) Are you taking the piss?

DOCTOR R: That's the general idea, yes! (Morrissey goes off and returns with the sample which he hands to the Doctor)

MOZ: I'll need that back when you've finished with it.

DOCTOR R: Sorry?

MOZ: I had a problem with a barber once who wanted to sell my hair clippings on ebay. I was told it would have sold for about five hundred dollars, so a pot of my liquid gold would make a killing. What is more, I certainly don't want anybody having access to my DNA, they might clone me, which I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, not even Joyce. Actually, scrub that, Joyce would NEVER deserve to be me. So Doctor, am I ill?

DOCTOR R: I will need to send your sample off for tests, we'll know by tomorrow.

To Be Continued


Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Day 503 - Oh, What's The Bloody Ulcerated Point?

I ended up posting my blog entries of Thursday and Friday on Saturday morning, along with my favourite personal piece of writing 'Blue Rose', which I posted as my own little celebration of my 500th day of finding 'MorrisseysWorld.' 500 DAYS! 500 DAYS..... and STILL MorrisseysWorld remains undiscovered by the masses, ridiculed by the majority of Morrissey fans who 'have' found it, and adored by the 'deluded' few. HOW can this be happening?

Saturday and Sunday were very busy family days for me, and yesterday I had a very busy day at work, so blogging was out of the question. I am once again in work today, but I have a quieter day, which means I will hopefully have time to make the sort of blog entry that I wish to make, ie, one of the long winded ones that most people don't bother reading but give me the satisfaction of writing. I WAS going to write a parody piece today but there are certain things I want to write about that wouldn't fit into the parody, so perhaps I will get the chance to write it later in the week.


THE RAT - BACK AT WORK


I still don't know how often I will be able to write my blog entries now that I am back at work, but I DO know that I have to keep telling the story of MorrisseysWorld. I have given up twitter because it is so time consuming, although I will continue to peek in occasionally and also try to keep my silly little Tuesday chart show going.

So, where were we? The MorrisseysWorld blog and twitter account remain closed (although @BrokenReturns is still active, but unused since early Friday), and in my last blog entry on Friday, I mentioned that Morrissey had been forced to cancel the Thursday night concert in Flint because of band illness, and was also postponing the concerts that were due to take place on the Friday and Saturday in Minneapolis and Chicago.

It would appear from Thursday onwards, as the Morrissey tour bus was parked in Flint, things went from bad to worse.


THE MORRISSEY BAND TOUR BUS, PARKED UP IN A LAYBY IN FLINT LAST THURSDAY


Shortly after the announcement that the three concerts were off, it was announced by Kristeen Young that her mother had sadly passed away. All then went quiet for a day, until a statement was issued by Morrissey's publicist, Lauren (not Laura as reported in most media publications) Papapietro on Saturday afternoon, that Morrissey had been admitted into the William Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak, Michigan, about 60 miles south of Flint. Lauren's statement said that Morrissey was being treated for a suspected bladder infection, but on Sunday, a further statement from Papapietro confirmed that Morrissey in fact had a bleeding ulcer and that six further concerts would therefore be postponed. It was further stated that the tour will be resuming in Las Vegas on Saturday February 9th.


LAUREN PAPAPIETRO - MORRISSEY PUBLICIST

Two things are instantly noticeable about Lauren's twitter profile picture (above), firstly, she is doing the devil horn sign that was often portrayed on the MorrisseysWorld blog, and secondly, she is wearing an outfit not dissimilar to the one worn by the woman who kissed Moz in Atlanta, or wherever it was, six or seven years ago! What IS it with Moz and cheetah/leopard skin clad women? I hope for Lauren's sake that it's not real or her chances of issuing another statement on Morrissey's behalf will be about the same as 'Lawnmower' Mike Joyce's chances of ever drumming for The Smiths again.

And very briefly on the subject of 'Lawnmower Mike', before I start on far more important subjects, he has recently been quoted in The Sun, telling the story of a dream he has had, where The Smiths reform and open their first concert with 'Hand in Glove.' He also tells The Sun that he is now "a much better player than I was." What Joyce DIDN'T explain in the article, is that he tried to shaft Morrissey for a million pound, and that it is now 'records' he plays, and NOT the drums! I guess 'Lawnmower Mike' should just 'Carry On Dreaming', and let Anthony Burulcich continue to keep the beat to whatever Smiths songs Morrissey (the writer of the said Smiths songs, which actually are Morrissey songs, not Smiths songs) decides to sing. Goodnight Mike, sweet dreams.

MIKE JOYCE - DREAMER

Before Morrissey's Thursday night's concert in Flint was called off, it was initially brought forward by an hour, but presumably the sickness bug on the tour bus just made playing impossible. We don't of course know which members of the band were affected/infected the worst, but Boz Boorer had NOT worn the face mask in Columbus, so presumably he was getting better.

It comes as NO surprise to us MorrisseysWorlders that Morrissey has been taken ill, because in the MW chat room, before the tour even started, Our Mozzer told those present, that he was thinking of cancelling the tour because he didn't feel well. Despite all the shit that Morrissey is always given by the users of the 'Scum Cesspit' website (Morrissey-Solo.com if you are new to these parts) every time he cancels a concert, perhaps Mozzer felt that he just couldn't let his audiences down by cancelling the tour, especially having already postponed it once, or perhaps he just didn't want to admit to himself that he was ill, or maybe he thought the pain would go away!

I was going to write a parody piece about Morrissey's illness today, which I may still write later this week if I get the chance, but the whole 'Bleedin' Ulcer' thing has struck me as VERY Kenneth Williams, who suffered dreadfully from stomach ulcers and was known to be in considerable pain from them before he died. Williams was actually due to have an operation to solve his ulcer problem, but it has been said that he couldn't face the intrusiveness of such an operation, and subsequently chose to take his own life instead. Others have argued that Williams would NEVER have willingly taken a fatal overdose while his elderly mother was still alive, but his final diary entry of "Oh, what's the bloody point?" does tend to suggest that he probably knew what he was doing and had just lost the will to continue living such a meaningless and painful life. There are SO many similarities between Morrissey and Williams and you could just imagine one of Morrissey's diary entries being just like this one of Williams':

"Had Sid, Hattie, Joan, Barbara, Bernard and Charlie around for dinner. They were all perfectly awful except for Barbara whom I love more than anything else in the world, and even she is a stupid cunt."


KENNETH WILLIAMS - SUFFERED FROM ULCERS


Whatever made Morrissey decide to go ahead with this current tour, despite feeling ill, the one thing we 'do' KNOW, is that Morrissey lives for the stage, so he would have desperately not wanted to cancel any concerts, so it is my guess that either the pain of the bleeding ulcer ultimately became too much to bear, or perhaps Morrissey simply took the opportunity of a few cancelled concerts to have himself checked out, knowing that something didn't feel right, and the diagnosis was worse than he thought, although actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he KNEW there was something seriously wrong.


MORRISSEY IN COLUMBUS, AT THE LAST CONCERT BEFORE BEING HOSPITALIZED. DID HE KNOW HE WAS ILL? I THINK SO. (PHOTO TAKEN FROM SOUTHKIRK KIRKY'S NO.1 MORRISSEY PHOTOS WEBSITE - ONLYPICSOFMOZ.BLOGSPOT.COM)


Another thing we MorrisseysWorlders have gotten to KNOW about Morrissey, is that he LOVES conspiracy theories, and he no doubt stumbles across, and reads, loads and loads of theories on the internet. One such conspiracy theory that I am sure has grabbed his attention, despite him having no particular interest in the subject matter, is the conspiracy theory regarding the death of Princess Diana.

When I first discovered the MW blog, there was a link on it to a website that had all sorts of theories connecting Morrissey's lyrics to the death of Diana, particularly centered around the Queen is Dead album and There is a Light That Never Goes Out. I am sure that Morrissey didn't think for one minute that at the time of release his album and song had anything to do with Diana, but the fact that the future Queen of England went on to die in a darkened underpass has not gone unnoticed by the Diana conspiracy theorists. The fact that Our Mozzer had placed a link to it on MW shows that he was at least intrigued by the connection, and whether he had Diana in mind when he originally wrote the lyrics, which is unlikely, perhaps there is something to be said that Morrissey could be a modern day prophet, although I have to admit, I've never been a believer in such things before and certainly have no religious beliefs.


AND IN A DARKENED UNDERPASS....


Heather Cat has brought to my attention another website devoted to conspiracy theories concerning Diana's death, and both MorrisseysWorld and FollowingTheMozziah are mentioned. What is more, from an entry made on the website by it's moderator 'loopDloop' on January 10th of this year, it looks very much as though Morrissey himself could well have read the website. 'loopDloop' posted a picture of Morrissey's Alma Matters cover on the website (another Moz song linked to Diana) and the following day, Our Mozzer wrote his 'MorrisseysWorld Order' article which included the picture of himself with his hand inside an overcoat. Quite possibly just a coincidence, but here is the Diana site, and it is VERY interesting. This link is just to page 4, which mentions MW and FTM, but other parts of it are worth reading if you are interested in conspiracy theories: http://letsrollforums.com/lady-diana-spencer-limo-t28930p4.html



OUR MOZZER - AS FEATURED ON MW AND THE PRINCESS DIANA CONSPIRACY WEBSITE

What is quite amusing to read on page 4 of the Diana conspiracy website, is that 'loopDloop', who has NO interest in the whole MW story, observes, "I had no idea of the fun going on at a blog called Morrissey's World, until I learned on his wikipedia page that Morrissey has publically (sic) denied being the author of this blog on four separate occasions. Now, I don't know about you, but when someone denies four times publically (sic) something, well, you just know it has to be true, right?"

How ironic that an outsider can see in an instant what Morrissey fans have been unable to see in months/years. The Diana conspiracy website has opened my eyes to a number of other things connected to Morrissey which I didn't know, including RED, WHITE and BLUE being the colours of 'Media Fakery.' These three colours are of course being used on Morrissey's drum kits. 'Media Fakery' basically involves the media issuing propaganda stories to the public that aren't true. Conspiracy theorists think 'Media Fakery' is used by the powers that be to control the masses, quite often by fear, with events such as 9/11 being a terrorist attack a prime example.

Certain articles on the MW blog would tend to suggest that Morrissey likes a good conspiracy theory, or at least keeps an open mind to such things. Most people don't want to even THINK about a number of subjects which takes them out of their comfort zone, and I confess, I am quite often guilty of that myself, but this whole MW phenomenon has not only made me open my own mind more, it has got me interested in things that I would have previously ignored.

One of the other things from the Diana site that has aroused my interest, is the mention of a man called Aleister Crowley. Here is his Wiki page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aleister_Crowley

Aleister Crowley was a quite fascinating character and I have NO doubt that Morrissey will know all about him, after all, Morrissey is well read, I am not! There are a number of similarities between Crowley and Morrissey and it is interesting to read that Crowlay had a brief affair with Ada Leverson, who was a very close friend of Oscar Wilde. Whether or not Crowley and Wilde were friends, I don't know, but Crowley is described on wikipedia as "an English occultist, mystic, ceremonial magician, poet and mountaineer" who was famous for forming a religious philosophy called Thelema and writing the Book of Law.


ALEISTER CROWLEY

I won't go into any more detail about Crowley because I have run out of time, and what is more, he isn't directly linked to the MW story. There is a Light That Never Goes Out was released on Crowley's birthdate, which is of course just a coincidence, but the Diana theorists love it!

Devil Horned Publicists, Bleedin' Ulcered Pop Stars, Dreaming Former Drummers, Ulcer Ridden Comedians, Conspiracy Theorists, Media Fakery, Prophets, Blue Roses...... did you miss me? Welcome back to Following The Mozziah, welcome back to the World of Morrissey, all we need now is MorrisseysWorld, but in the mean time, here's the chart:



THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS TOP 10 - WEEK BEGINNING SUNDAY 27TH JANUARY 2013

1. THAT JOKE ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE (LIVE IN PORT CHESTER NY) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy91_AuxwAA

2. MEAT IS MURDER (LIVE IN PITTSBURGH PA) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjGwln0IMoo

3. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME GET WHAT I WANT (+ RANT) (LIVE IN COLUMBUS OH) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZsITuqktiA

3. HOW SOON IS NOW? (LIVE IN COLUMBUS) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92v4M8hh41Q

5. SHOPLIFTERS OF THE WORLD UNITE (LIVE IN PITTSBURGH PA) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eNFjCA0XQI (Includes Wayward Sisters entrance)

6. SPEEDWAY (+ THAT JOKE ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE) (LIVE AT LONG ISLAND NY) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDl94FRN_bM

7. BEEZ IN THE TRAP - NICKI MINAJ (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ib7XYdCte3M

8. THEN I SCREAMED (LIVE IN READING PA) - KRISTEEN YOUNG (DOWN 6): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBBruFEtXAs

9. ASLEEP - THE SMITHS (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3D9ae_hdkUM

10. WELCOME TO MY WORLD - DEAN MARTIN (NO CHANGE): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX7BAfXn85Y


MORRISSEY LOOKS AT MY BLUE ROSE IN BROOKLYN
(WHICH HAS NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH THIS BLOG ENTRY)

Saturday, 26 January 2013

Day 500 - The Blue Rose


THE BLUE ROSE

A man stood upon the chalk cliff and looked out to sea. He stood alone, of course, always alone, and looked out into the blackness, a blackness who's twin brother had, for all of his life, gripped and held him as though a permanent lodger to his soul. Tonight however, the blackness was broken by the full moon, a moon that not only lit the sky but also lit the sea. The light of the moon allowed the sea to show off some of her blue sheen, but still the blackness dominated, always the blackness dominated. And as the moon reflected, so did the man, but while the moon sought no answers, the man sought many, always he sought the answers but usually without conclusion. The man started to walk along the narrow, uneven, chalk path that had been created by many other feet over hundreds of years. The man, not wanting to follow the same path as others, veered off into the light scrub and as he continued his walk, he felt a presence beside him. The man did not turn his head to look and see who had joined him but asked, "How did you find me?" The presence paused and then replied, "It is my job to seek and find you and, as you know, I am never far away. In fact, of all the people I know, you are one of the easiest to find. Do you know why I am here?" The man continued to stroll and as he did, he kicked out at loose bits of chalk and gravel and then replied, "Yes I know why you are here but I am not sure if it is I who seek you, or you that seek me?" The presence laughed gently, almost mockingly and said, "Perhaps we both seek each other, we have a strong bond you and I, for many, many reasons, so tell me, what is on your mind?" The man continued on his walk and stooped to pluck a brooklime, which he then gently nibbled at as he pondered the question. Eventually he responded, "Over the years I have asked you many things and although I listen carefully to your answers and heed your advice, I cannot help but feel that you charlatanize me, do you?" The presence once again laughed, but this time louder and with a sneer to it's laugh, and then said to the man, "Is that EVEN a word? It is only right that you should question everything and everyone but that blackness that clings to you will not leave until you allow it to go. You think it clings to you with a vice like grip but it is you that grips just as hard, a grip I too have felt. Now tell me, do you know of 'The Nightingale and The Rose'?" This time it was the turn of the man to laugh with a mocking tone and through gritted teeth he replied, " Yes, you know full well I know of it, it too grips at my ankles like shackles and much as I love it with all my heart, it burns me, engulfs me, burdens me." The presence smiled to itself, a satisfying smile and said, "Exactly as I wished and pray tell, which character do you see as you?" The man, without hesitation or pause for thought, responded immediately, "I am surprised you need ask, you know full well I am the nightingale, I am the one full of song, I am told beautiful song and yet my song is never enough and I have to give more, always more, I have to bleed, bleed and sing and each day that goes by, I feel the thorn dig deeper, always deeper as it heads to my heart, so I sing new songs and still it is never enough and even those who say they love my song, they critisise and mock and say that the songs I sing are not the songs they want to hear and then there are those who do not know me and certainly don't listen to my songs, they too critisise and call me ugly and sneer at me and try to pull me to the floor where they can kick me, punch me, walk on me, humiliate me and still I sing, I sing and I bleed and one day I will no longer be there and they will miss me when I'm gone, oh yes, they'll miss me when I'm gone." The man fell quiet, he felt both anger and sadness and he continued to walk. The presence let the air hang still and then mused, "Yes, I thought you would see yourself as the nightingale and indeed you do have many of it's traits, for not only do you sing a fair song, but you are also caring, kind and loving but you are neither a bird nor foolish enough to give up your life for one who you know will not appreciate it, you are no more the nightingale than I." The man was incensed, he raised his voice and cried, "How dare you call the nightingale foolish, she sacrificed her life so that another may love." The presence once again laughed, "I can call her what I like but did her death allow another to love? No, it was a lovely sentiment, but as I say, misguided and foolish. You are NOT the nightingale, try again, what other characters are there?" The man gathered his thoughts and then announced, "Well I am CERTAINLY not the student." The presence paused before saying, "But can you be so sure? the student, like you, is well read, single minded and seeks love, are you really so different?" The man swung his foot at a large stone and sent it hurtling down the cliff. His foot stung with the pain of kicking such a stone and he felt a pain in his heart, for he knew that the presence was right. "So I am the selfish and shallow student am I?" he asked defeatedly, "No of course not," bellowed the presence, once again laughing as he continued, "Do you really think that I should think so little of you? No, you will no doubt be pleased to know, you are NOT the student, but you do have many of his traits. Now, try again." Once again the man pondered, it was easy for him to recollect the characters from a story he knew so well and the character's raced through his mind. "Surely I am not the cynical, mocking lizard?" he enquired? The presence grinned and replied, "Once again you have his characteristics but his role is small, no you are not the lizard, nor are you the white rose, for although the white rose symbolises; purity, innocence and secrecy, all traits that you have, the white rose has always had to play second fiddle to the red rose and you play second fiddle to nobody." The man jumped in, "So I am the red rose, filled with love, respect, courage and passion? Yes, this is indeed me and as we know, the red rose in the story, having been filled with the blood and soul of the nightingale, ends up in the gutter where it is run over by a cart. Yes, at last I can see, I am the red rose, not the nightingale but I have the blood and spirit of the nightingale within me." The presence guffawed with laughter and said, "I should have guessed that you would relate to being tossed to the gutter, your self degradation becomes you, it is one of the most beautiful traits you possess and yes you are SO like the red rose, indeed if the rose were you, I can almost picture it smiling as it lay in the gutter waiting for the cart to crush it. If the student hadn't tossed the red rose to the gutter, I do believe it would have jumped there itself, although of course, as I think about it, I think it more likely in fact, that the rose would TALK about tossing itself to the gutter and would MOCK itself but wouldn't ACTUALLY choose to jump, no, instead, it would hope for a stay of execution and would long to be pinned to the student's lapel or hope that the intended recipient see sense and accept it after all, so that there would be a 'happy ever after'. Mmm, you are very nearly the red rose, but not quite, so try again." The man looked perplexed and announced, "I am running out of characters, I cannot possibly be the rose tree, for although it shows some knowledge in that it is able to supply the nightingale with the solution of how to produce a red rose, it has a nasty, perverse streak and it seems to cajole the nightingale to pull closer to the thorns, knowing that the nightingale's death will be a death for no reason. No, I am NOT the murdering rose tree." The man stopped and looked toward the sea, the moon's reflection had gone. He looked up and saw that a large cloud had smothered the moon, as though trying to keep it quiet as it rummaged through it's pockets. The man had still not turned to look at the presence, but knew he was still there. The man spoke, "So who am I?" The presence puffed itself up as though preparing for it's final submission to the court and said, "You are the centre piece to the story, the main character, is it not obvious? You are the professor's daughter." The man was confused, "But why?" he asked. The presence continued, "The whole story revolves around the daughter. The student deeply loves her and wants to impress her, the nightingale is prepared to die for her, so that she can get what she wants, the red rose is wanted by her and then rejected by her and the chamberlain's nephew even buys jewels for her. She is everything, YOU are everything. You have traits of everything and everybody in the story. You ARE the story. You are Unattainable, Impossible and exist only in fantasy, not in nature. You are unrequited. You are the first of all pleasures. I both love you and need you." The man looked content. He said, "And if I am the professor's daughter, then you must be the professor. You professor, are trouble, the trouble that loves me." The man smiled and turned to face the presence for the first time, but nobody was there, just a blue rose.

Friday, 25 January 2013

Day 499 - Friday January 25th 2013 - Attention Seeking

0900 GMT: I am once again sat at my desk in my office, and I have once again just sneaked a peek into The Twitterdilly Arms. It couldn't be more gloomy, and makes the Black Cloud that currently sits above my desk look positively grey! It would appear that Morrissey had to cancel his concert in Flint yesterday due to somebody/ies in the band being ill, and the next two concerts, scheduled for tonight and Saturday have also been postponed. What is more, both the '@MorrisseysWorld' and '@BrokenReturns' accounts have disappeared and the MorrisseysWorld blog has gone too.

It is bad news for both Heather Cat and Old Willoughby, who were both due to attend Saturday night's concert, and the Blue Rose Ring will obviously now not be heading towards Morrissey, for the time being at least.

Just as I had decided that I WOULD be able to blog, work full time and give time to my family, I now find that there is nothing to blog about, so I guess a decision has been made for me, and I can at least throw myself into work..... or I could write my New York tour diaries.... NO, I 'have' to work, especially as it has just been announced that Britain has just entered into a 'Tripple Dip' recession. It's going to be a tough year.

Rather ironically, my blog has been receiving more hits since I stopped writing, than it ever did when I spent 5 hours a day on it. The comments being left are no longer the 'I miss the blog', they have become, 'You are just an attention seeker.'

Back to work.


1430 GMT: Another peek into the Twitterdilly Arms has revealed that there is not much happening. At least I don't feel as though I am missing out. With both Morrissey and Our Mozzer currently inactive, there is certainly no buzz about signs etc, which became common place at one time. My whole New York experience is already starting to feel like a distant memory. Did Morrissey REALLY come on stage and mention sharing his tooth brush the day after I'd blogged about losing mine? Yes, yes he did! Did I really get ushered in to the Letterman Show through the stage door after giving a fake Blue Rose to Morrissey's tour manager to give to Moz? Yes, yes I did, and what is more, when I first asked Donnie (the tour manager) if he could get me and my two friends into the show, he said, 'I'm sorry, absoultely no way.' When I gave him the plastic, lumionous Blue Rose and told him that I thought Moz might let us in once he'd received the rose, Donnie just laughed...... and yet, after he'd given it to Moz, in we went!

Back to work.

1700 GMT: Twitterdilly remains dead, which I suppose is obvious seeing as most people only ever joined because of MorrisseysWorld. I have been stupid enough to visit the 'Scum Cesspit', where the vast majority are slagging Morrissey off for cancelling the three concerts. He must just die a little bit more as he reads the utter shit that is written. Against my better judgement, I have just left a comment telling them all they are vile, and expalining that they will miss him when he's gone, but no doubt the moderator or owner will make sure my comment is deleted, and even if it isn't, I'll just get a barrage of abuse for mentioning Blue Rose.

Home soon. Tomorrow is Day 500 of Following The Mozziah, and Heather Cat has invited people to chose their favourote FTM posting, which is again, very touching, although I doubt anybody will bother. I will spend Day 500 in self imposed exile and won't even write one of these unpublished pieces as I am in Southampton all day with my family. I won't write anything on Sunday either as I have a Cup semi final to try and win with my football team, and then two lots of indoor cricket matches. The next Morrissey concert is scheduled for Monday night, so hopefully I will have a reason to return to LIVE blogging on Tuesday, just as Broken predicted, and just in time for the Top 10 Chart.

Day 498 - Thursday January 24th 2013 - Sneaking A Peek

A series of events led to me closing my twitter account yesterday morning, and also posting a blog entry announcing that my 'FollowingTheMozziah' days were over.

I am writing this 24 hours later, sat in my office at work, a place I returned to yesterday lunchtime. Don't get me wrong, I haven't slept here all night, I just mean I've returned to full time office life. I absolutely don't want to be here, but A) Writing my blog and tweeting had taken over my life to the detriment of 'real life', B) I feel duty bound, in these economic hard times, to be involved with a business I've run for the past 20 + years, C) There is NO C!

I won't be publishing this blog entry, well not today anyway, although I expect I will end up publishing it at some stage, after all, what's the point of writing ANYTHING if somebody, somewhere doesn't read it? Actually, that's not true, I have often found that writing helps release thoughts that don't necessarily need to be shared, just released.

The addiction of having written this blog for the past sixteen months is going to prove a hard habit to break, and if truth be told, I don't really want to break it, but I KNOW I can no longer continue to give it the full time input that I have been giving it as well as working full time, and also giving time to my family. My immediate reaction yesterday was to give up blogging completely, but 24 hours on, I am now wondering if I can just write the story of MorrisseysWorld on a part time basis, and don't get involved with tweeting at all, which really can steal hour upon hour of your life without you realising it. The story of MorrisseysWorld is far too important not to tell, so I HAVE to try and make this work.

Over the next few days, I shall continue to write my blog, and if I can manage to cover the MW story properly, without it taking up so much of my time, I will publish the blog entries at the beginning of next week. I have sneaked a peek into the Twitterdilly Arms, and according to Broken, I WILL be returning at the beginning of next week anyway! How does he know? Perhaps he KNOWS that Morrissey will do something at the weekend that will draw me back in. Perhaps Morrissey will take the Blue Rose Ring from Heather Cat. Time as ever....

There have been some very lovely comments left by people in both The Twit Arms and on my blog, saying that they don't want me to stop blogging. I am genuinely touched by the comments, and it goes to prove that dispite all my waffle, my writing has been appreciated. I now feel dreadfully guilty for yesterday's decision, but if I return now, and then find that I really HAVEN'T got the time to blog , then I'd have to stop again, which I don't want to do. Only Our Mozzer is allowed to come and go at will and toy with people's emotions.

Before calling it a day yesterday, I had already written a little bit about the concert in Ohio:

MORRISSEY IN CONCERT - LC (LIFESTYLE COMMUNITIES, NOT LEISURE CENTRE) PAVILION, COLUMBUS, OHIO - WEDNESDAY JANUARY 22ND 2013


THE LC COLUMBUS - PART OF MORRISSEY'S 'LIFESTYLE COMMUNITIES' TOUR

The yellow finger lingerie was still in place, and the Smithfields Dr Martens picture was used as the backdrop. Some of the videos I have viewed are courtesy of former MorrisseysWorlder Still.I.Cling. As  Still.I.Cling stood there filming, did she REALLY not ask herself, 'Why is Morrissey wearing a yellow finger plaster on a different finger to the one he was wearing it on the other day?'

Still.I.Cling was a central part of the MW community back on 6th October 2011, when the article about the finger lingerie was first published. I wrote about this just a few days ago, so I am repeating it purely and simply for Still.I.Cling, as last night she stood just 10 yards away from the completely uninjured Moz finger that was sporting a plaster. WHY don't people want to see the obvious and embrace MorrisseysWorld, WHY?


Here is the original quote AGAIN, from the MW blog regarding the finger lingerie:


6TH OCTOBER 2011 - 'My Twitter Journal 6th September - 6th October 2011':

"Consider leaving plaster on finger long after healing or altenatively wearing cosmetic finger plaster to emphasize personal suffering of my journey."

KRISTEEN YOUNG IN COLUMBUS - IS HER HAND BANDAGE ALSO EMPHASIZING PERSONAL SUFFERING... OR DOES SHE HAVE A BAD HAND?

SET LIST:

1. SHOPLIFTERS OF THE WORLD UNITE:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uZagUBoyOE - Moz moved with the style and grace of a classic latino dancer, and at the end of the song gave a polite, "gracias," before then saying, "I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday." He then launched into 'Everyday is Like Sunday.'

2. EVERYDAY IS LIKE SUNDAY

3. FIRST OF THE GANG TO DIE

4. YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME, FATTY

5. BLACK CLOUD


6. SPEEDWAY:
Morrissey sang "I'm just a country-mile behind the world" from 'Miserable Lie' during the pause.

7. NOVEMBER SPAWNED A MONSTER

8. OUIJA BOARD, OUIJA BOARD

9. ALMA MATTERS


11. I'M THROWING MY ARMS AROUND PARIS

12. IRISH BLOOD, ENGLISH HEART:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYxtEVgYtVQ


13. ACTION IS MY MIDDLE NAME:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk3AfRJogNE - Morrissey effortlessly breezed through 'Action' as though he had been singing it for years, which I suppose he HAS, it is now an old friend. I'd love to know what inspired the song. At the end of 'Action,' Morrissey passed the microphone to the audience. Having read on twitter that Broken was encouraging the audience to mention Blue Rose, I am sure we all hope that one day somebody will, but at the moment of course, only the odd one or two at most concerts even KNOW about Blue Rose or MW, so it ain't likely to happen any time soon. Lat night's audience comments consisted of requests to sing 'Sister I'm a Poet', 'Frankly Mr Shankly', and there was of course the usual "I love you" and "You have changed my life." BORING, BORING, BORING! MENTION THE FUCKING ROSE!

14. I KNOW IT'S OVER:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EFCVggtnS4 (This clip contains the same audience chat as above)

15. LET ME KISS YOU

16. PEOPLE ARE THE SAME EVERYWHERE

17. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME GET WHAT I WANT:
'Rant' + song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZsITuqktiA One of the comments left on my blog of yesterday was from Leslie, who posted a link into her blog (see here: www.thereisalightthatnevergoesout.blogspot.com), where she (I am presuming Leslie is a she!) discusses the 'rant' before 'Please, Please, Please.' It is interesting that Morrissey criticises marriage, which Our Mozzer has done a lot lately on twitter. COINCIDENCE of course, COINCIDENCE!

18. MEAT IS MURDER

ENCORE:

19. HOW SOON IS NOW?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYxtEVgYtVQ Compilation of a few different songs

.

Just before I abandoned twitter yesterday, the MorrisseysWorld account had been re-activated. At the time of my departure, Our Mozzer hadn't tweeted, but since then, a number of tweets were posted, here are the highlights:

"And so the wheel turns once again."

"I have a problem with my autobiography. I've found the central character to be flat and yet scarcely believable. How do I write him out?"

"We few beautiful-ugly cripples hide from the light of the Sun and pray for the pouring rain. We are Morrissey's Home Crowd. BlueRoseSociety."

"Do you think if I change the lyrics of Art-hounds to "Va va voom, va va voom" that I might get a record deal?"

"Without followingthemozziah.blogspot.com how will I know if I've given myself another sign that I'm possibly myself?"

Broken was also VERY complimentary towards me, for a change, saying: "Without Rat, the BlueRoseSociety has lost its shining light and the petals now look dull grey-black."

Broken's tweet about me coming back next week said: "TRB will be back by the beginning of next week and surprise you all... well perhaps any of you over eighty."

When Broken laid into the Scum Cesspit moderator, whose name I no longer mention, his close friend Rosy Mires decided to act as chief defender, asking Broken,"Do the words 'hateful online creche' resonate with you? Read your tweets back. You think Moz would approve?" Broken soon put her in her place, saying,"Rosy how do you manage to be morally neutral and yet sanctimonious simultaneously?" I couldn't have put it better myself. When it comes to backing the wrong horse, Rosy Mires couldn't have got things more wrong if she'd tried. She's backed a two legged ass that's not even at the right race course.

Anyway, that will do for today, a day in which I have returned to work, attended a funeral, and yet STILL managed to write a blog entry. Maybe I CAN make this work.

 I nearly posted one of the poem's from the funeral as a blog posting today, as 'TheRatBacks' lament, but even 'I' am not that full of my own self importance..... what am I on about, of COURSE I am:

HE IS GONE

You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he lived

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn back
Or you can do what he would want; smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

The poem was written by David Harkins, not about death, but about an unrequited love. It would actually make a good lament for Morrissey or Our Mozzer, especially with the 'open your eyes' and 'close your mind' lines.

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Day 497 - The End of Following The Mozziah

I have come to the end of the 'Following' road. I shall leave this blog here for people to add their observations regarding MorrisseysWorld and the Blue Rose Society, but for me, the journey is over. I have deactivated my twitter account and won't be returning.

I have decided not to disclose why I am suddenly ending my involvement, but I have thoroughly enjoyed the mystery of MorrisseysWorld, and I have NO doubt whatsoever that Morrissey is the author.

I sincerely hope that Blue Rose continues, and is one day embraced by all Morrissey fans.

I look forward to one day reading Morrissey's authobiography, although I wouldn't be at all surprised if MorrisseysWorld doesn't even get a mention. If I outlive Morrissey, I very much look forward to reading his diaries, which I KNOW will mention MorrisseysWorld, and who knows, even my little blog might get a mention.

My thanks to everybody who has read and contributed to my blog, and thank you to Morrissey for not only reading it, but leaving comment on a regular basis, I feel unbelievably honoured.

Trouble Loves Us All, but sometimes a little too much.

Rat

Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Day 496 - Forget RatsBack, Broken's Back....without the Mountain!

THE MORRISSEYSWORLD BLOG IS BACK *Sounds trumpets*...... but none of the old articles are there! *Trumpets go flat*

Yesterday evening (afternoon in east coast America), as the Twitterdillians continued to mourn the disappearance of MorrisseysWorld, Our Mozzer's right hand man, Broken (@BrokenReturns), made an unexpected visit to the Twitterdilly Arms, and in between his usual goading and mocking, he encouraged Kyle, the Blue Rose Society President, to ask Our Mozzer to bring back the MW blog.

We all know that TRM (The Real Morrissey) has a soft spot for Kyle, but was Kyle able to find Our Mozzer's soft side? Maybe! Read on.

Here are Broken's twitter highlights from yesterday, and for those who may be new to this blog, and are wondering who Broken 'is', he is believed to be one of Morrissey's many online 'pessoas', ie 'characters', although don't bother asking him if he's Morrissey, because he will tell you that he is NOT, although he might just tell you that he IS, just for the sheer hell of it! Broken will usually attempt to start a lively debate, and may well lead you up a path that you don't want to be led up, so if you take him on, BEWARE, although he is always honest, and he happens to be one of my favourite pessoas. Broken  spends much of his time on line posting semi naked pictures of footballers, which seems to be his penchant.

BROKEN - BACK IN THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS


BROKEN'S TWITTER HIGHLIGHTS JAN 21ST 2013:

"Kyle is the BlueRoseSociety hero."

"Guys if Moz gives you the mic, take the chance to mention BlueRose!"

"How amusing that troll-in-chief Tseng labels the MW author a 'troll' on the trolling capital of the web, so-low."

"@MozkidKyle Cool pic! If you do a pic asking MorrisseysWorld to come back I'll email him!"


THE PRESIDENT'S REQUEST

BROKEN'S TWITTER HIGHLIGHT'S CONTINUED:

"But was there a sign in New York? I don't think so."

"Rat is the Jermaine Jenas of Sandown Pier." (I don't think that this was necessarily a compliment, but you never know!)


SANDOWN PIER - THE PIER BAR WAS ONCE A FAMOUS HAUNT FOR THE ISLE OF WIGHT'S GAY COMMUNITY..... ALLEGEDLY! THE THEATRE CLOSED IN THE 1990S

BROKEN'S TWITTER HIGHLIGHT'S CONTINUED:

"3 years of blogging and... no one brought moz a rose or a t-shirt or ANYTHING. People say how much they want it... but nobody makes it happen... except @mozkidkyle of course."

With reference to my 'All at Sea' blog of yesterday: "I knew you'd get the reference. I still remember the classic post-apocalyptic FollowingTheMozziah." Broken is of course referring to 'Houston Gate', an incident that caused all hell to break loose last year in the Twitterdilly Arms, when Our Mozzer jokingly announced that he was saddened by the passing of Oprah Winfrey, when in fact it was actually Whitney Houston who had selfishly topped herself, leaving her young daughter without a mother. Our Mozzer's 'joke' was seen by a number of the MorrisseysWorlders as 'evidence' that the author of MorrisseysWorld was OBVIOUSLY NOT Morrissey, as Morrissey would NEVER be so cruel. A couple of people even accused the author of MorrisseysWorld of being racist for suggesting that Whitney looked like another similar looking person! In response to my "post-apocalyptic" blog entry (see Day 153 of this blog), Morrissey left the following message:


Chin up. Worse things happen at sea. Imagine a WH memoral evening on a nuclear submarine. Now THAT would be considerably worse.


Morrissey then followed this up by writing a hilarious parody article on the MW blog about a parallel life on a nuclear submarine.

The comment by Morrissey in last week's Pittsburgh Post Gazette interview about being "away at sea, but without the sea", immediately got me thinking about the nuclear sub parody piece, and it obviously reminded Heather Cat of the MW blog too, as she also mentioned the 'Nuclear Sub' piece in the comments section of my blog yesterday. Heather also posted this:


What a coincidence that you mentioned the sea reference today. I thought it was interesting that Moz mentioned in two recent interviews that touring is like going to sea, as if repeating himself for emphasis. Some MW sea references hit me yesterday, one being the parody piece with Freeyourself and his tribute band 'Viva Morrissey' where they are on a boat and the Morrissey Band are on another boat, wearing speedos (if my memory serves me correctly). Interesting that you mentioned the Moz quote from Reading about the band wearing speedos by the pool, which has been a recurring theme. 

All of this probably has no significance, but I do find it to be an interesting connection, just as 'That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore' appeared in its entirety about a week after Rat wrote about it on his blog.

File:US Navy 070206-N-8467N-001 Cmdr. Daniel Christofferson, commanding officer of the fast attack submarine USS Connecticut (SSN 22) shows Miss Connecticut 2006 Heidi Voight the ship^rsquo,s periscope during a tour of the boat.jpg
ABLE SEAMAN STEVEN MORRISSEY SHOWS HEATHER CAT (OR IS IT KRISTEEN YOUNG?) HIS TELESCOPE

Personally, I didn't read anything into 'That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore' being sung last weekend. The only reason that I had written about it was because it had been sung a cappella at Long Island. Having said that, maybe Heather is right, after all, it does seem to have just been given a 'one off', in much the same way as 'The Youngest Was The Most Loved' was given a special airing for Kyle. Could it be that Morrissey is pulling certain instances out of my blog and turning them into 'one off' set openers?

Morrissey also seems to be using interviews more and more to drop hints about MorrisseysWorld. It is often stated by people who conduct these email interviews, that they are not allowed to ask any questions about The Smiths, but I am just waiting for somebody to ask about MorrisseysWorld, it surely has to happen soon. So far, only the ONE interview in a Brazilian publication last year has mentioned MorrisseysWorld, and of course Morrissey took the opportunity to deny involvement, even labeling MW "Dangerous."

A recent interview with Loaded magazine saw Morrissey mentioning German's riding bicycles, and the city of Coventry. These 'could' be a reference to long time MorrisseysWorlder Girl-on-Bike aka GOB, who is German, has a user name relating to bicycles, and lives in Coventry. It could of course be yet another coincidence, but two days after the magazine was published, Morrissey ALSO mentioned Taylor Swift on stage at Brooklyn, a name that he once gave to GOB in the MW chat room!


TAYLOR SWIFT - A BIKE RIDING GERMAN LIVING IN COVENTRY

BROKEN'S TWITTER HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

"Message from MorrisseysWorld: TIME HEALS EVERYTHING EXCEPT WOUNDS." (@GoramStitches asked, "hence the finger lingerie," which Broken then retweeted).

(In reference to the MW blog coming back) "Maybe Heather's BlueRoseRing will do it"

"@PapaSonsFilm I have a large ego, low self-esteem and a personality disorder... undiagnosed of course." (You mean he's not NORMAL???)

"The blog begged Moz to condemn So-Low and a few days later... he did. A sign?"

"I'm reading Hitch-22 by Christopher Hitchens." (It would be interesting to know if 'Morrissey' has read this!)

HITCH 22 - BROKEN'S CURRENT READING MATERIAL

BROKEN'S TWITTER HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

"@Mozismyshepherd @TheRatsBack You two have been real troopers for the BlueRoseSociety." To this, Kyle's dad replied:
 "@Brokenreturns @theratsback We did our best along with @Mozkidkyle."
Broken then tweeted: "Yes, I meant @MozkidKyle and @mozismyshepherd - The Rats back just stood still and wondered!" ( Cheeky Broken Cunt! )

At this stage, Broken posted a new MorrisseysWorld article, entitled: 'Will MW return?' The article states, "A day or two after we condemned Morrissey So-Low, the true artiste took the opportunity to write: "There's a hateful online creche called Morrissey SoLow, which cured me of canvassing opinions many years ago." "

The article goes on to add, "The Blog will NOT return unless the seminal artiste gives us a clear sign. Over to you, Mozzer..." All the old MW blog articles are still missing, so Kyle HAS managed to bring the blog back, but it will apparently only properly re-open if Morrissey gives a sign, but WHAT might that sign be? Could it be that Heather Cat HAS to get the BlueRoseRing to Morrissey on Saturday? It's got to be worth an effort.


THE BLUE ROSE RING

It was great to receive comments on my blog yesterday from both Leslie (Hand in Glove), who was the one who dared to challenge the two muppets on the Scum Cesspit the other day, and also MozFiend, who gave an excellent account of her attempt to stage invade. If you've read both of these comments already, I apologise, but they both merit a place on my blog:

Leslie's Comment:


Well, now...that was me (hand in glove), and me alone, who fought with David and Skinny (Peter) Saturday morning. There was a post signed 'Blue Rose' but I didn't post that and I have no idea who did. Peter asked me to point out specifically when he had been hateful, and to which I did by copy and paste. He had the nerve to tell me I could have made it all up. It would be interesting to know what David wrote to you as I feel like it was the argument that I had with them that made him contact you, but...I'm fine with not knowing. It doesn't matter and I am mostly finished with that site. I go there to find out about the shows, and that's about it. I've opened a new blog here with my real name as I've lost my sign in password info and can't use my 'hand in glove' account(s), so I've just opened this one yesterday. Time for a change...

Anyway, RAT, that's what happened on Saturday. Just wanted to let you know it was a battle between me and the other two. No one else - except one other anonymous person who bullied me as well. It's like I told David before, being on so-low isn't like playing chess...it's equivalent to Battleship more than anything else. I also posted in my blog on so-low how I completely support The Blue Rose Society and that I'd always been a member of the MW blog.

I am a loner, and will always be. But, if I had to be a part of anything, it would be this. I love communicating with people here because you're all so nice and sweet. Well, I've said all that before...I personally think that's what a Morrissey fan should be - interesing, sweet, intelligent, and considerate individuals who actually have something to say. Why else would we listen to Morrissey? He SPEAKS to us...We LISTEN and we UNDERSTAND.

Well, that's me speaking for myself, anyway.

Thanks,
Leslie (hand in glove)



MozFiend's Comment:



Hello again. I have not been at the Twitterdilly Arms much these past few days nor have I been doing much of anything. I was recovering from attending the final Morrissey show that I had tickets for this time around, the one on Saturday in Port Chester, NY. Although I am terribly depressed because I won't be seeing Morrissey again indefinitely, I feel incredibly lucky that I was able to see five amazing shows since the opening of the tour on Long Island. I left the Port Chester show with a little more than what I arrived with: two huge, juicy bruises, courtesy of security at the show. Since it was my final show, I figured I better give it my all and attempt a stage invasion. I knew full well when I was hoisted over the heads of the two rows ahead of me that I was never going to make it to the stage and into Morrissey's arms. I fell flat on my bum between the barricade and the stage. I was okay though, until I wasn't able to get on my feet fast enough. The security picked me up by my arm and flung me like a sack of garbage. I knew right away my arm was going to be in trouble after the way it was grabbed and squeezed. I landed on the floor once again after being thrown, hence the gnarly, swollen bruise on my left thigh. Due to the pain, I immediately had tears running down my face. I couldn't help crying, it hurt! I got on my feet as fast as I could this time and held up my hands in surrender. I yelled, "You didn't have to do that!" and began walking away. Luckily I saw security from the stage frantically waving at me and it caught my attention. I turned to see Morrissey reaching his hand out to me from the side of the stage. I grabbed it tightly, gave it a squeeze, nodded at him and smiled. He gave me the kindest look and said, "Thank you". I that I will never forget those beautiful blue eyes looking at me. All in all, the bruises were well worth it. I'll take some pain if it means I can get closer to the man. Well, that's my story. After this happened I was also recognized as "the girl from that blog," meaning this blog. They asked me if I had the Blue Rose Society ring with me but I told her I had left it home for safe keeping, knowing I have to mail it out first thing tomorrow morning. Well, that is all for now. Sorry for the long post. See you all at the Twitterdilly Arms.


I was at Long Island when MozFiend bravely attempted a stage invasion, and was unceremoniously dumped back into the front row. I am so pleased that she came away from Port Chester with an acknowledgement from Moz.

And so to yesterday's concert:

HEINZ HALL, PITTSBURGH, PA - MONDAY JANUARY 21ST 2013

The stand out songs for me, from the footage that I have seen so far, are 'Please, Please, Please' and 'Meat is Murder.' When I first saw 'Meat is Murder' sung live, in 1985, I immediately gave up eating meat..... it lasted two weeks and I then returned to my old habits.

I was brought up eating meat, and the ethics were certainly never questioned in either my house, my friends' houses, or at any of the schools I attended; eating seemed the most natural thing in the world to do. Despite Morrissey pricking my conscience in 1985, I, like most other meat eaters, decided it was far easier to detach the meat on my plate from the act of an innocent animal being slaughtered. Far more people were much stronger than me, and the message from the song  'Meat is Murder' changed the eating habits of thousands of people. It is probably fair to say that no 'pop song' has EVER had such an effect, and it could well end up being Morrissey's legacy.


DO WE CARE, DO WE CARE, DO WE CARE?

Having detached the meat on my plate from the slaughter of animals, I also detached the sentiment of the 'Meat is Murder' song, and have spent the last twenty eight years enjoying it as just an unbelievably good song, one of my favourites, but the guilt has always been there, niggling.

Last August I started suffering chest pains, and was eventually admitted into hospital. The cardiologist told me that I was very lucky that I hadn't suffered a massive heart attack, and that my arteries were blocked. One of the reasons for the blockage was years of consuming red meat.

Needless to say, I haven't touched red meat since that day, and I now feel I can enjoy listening to 'Meat is Murder' without feeling such a fraud, even if I did give up red meat for selfish reasons, and not because of that niggling guilt. I still eat chicken, and am not proud of it, but having spent nearly fifty years addicted to meat, it is a hard habit to break, and unless I were to give up eggs, all dairy produce, and stop wearing leather, I would never consider myself truly fighting the cause for animal welfare anyway. I really admire those who do, I wish I was such a caring and loving person.... I'm not!

The graphic video Morrissey uses in his shows during Meat is Murder will hopefully continue to help convert stronger willed people than I to vegetarianism, so long may the song remain in the set. Finally on the subject, if you go back and listen to the original 'Meat is Murder' from 1985, it is NOWHERE NEAR as strong a song as it is now. Compared to the hard hitting 2013 version, the 1985 song sounds like a dreamy wish. I will ALWAYS love the original, but today's version is, in my opinion, a hundred times better. Meat is Murder has grown up.

SET LIST:

1. SHOPLIFTERS O' THE WORLD: "Good evening, I am white trash.":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eNFjCA0XQI (Includes Wayward Sisters entrance)
2. YOU HAVE KEELED ME
3. SPEEDWAY - No idea at this stage if anything was sung during the pause.
4. EVERYDAY IS LOIKE SUNDAY: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm5sCC7Z4FE
5. ACTON IS MY MAIDEN NAME
6. ALMA MATTERS
7. MELON JUSTICE
8. STILL EEL
9. I'M THROWING MY ARMS AROUND PORRIDGE
10. SQUEEZY BOARD, SQUEEZY BOARD
11. BLACK CLYDE
12. YOU'RE THE JUAN FOR ME, FATTY: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4XrWJPtlJA
13. NOVEMBER SPAWNED A MINCER
14. TO GIVE (THE REASON I LIVE)
15. I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW
16. LEMME KISS HUGH: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKuAadwQ-yA
17. PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASE ME: "In all the world, I am my best friend. I look after me, and that's the way it's always going to be, which is OK. However... *sings*: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOdSoFJ0MvY
18. MEAT IS MOIDER: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjGwln0IMoo
ENCORE
19. HOW SOON IS NAH?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--62kMUbPNs


MORRISSEY IN PITTSBURGH

It was announced yesterday that the film director Michael Winner had died. Winner will be remembered amongst MorrisseysWorlders for his spat on twitter with Our Mozzer, which resulted in Winner asking, "Who is Morrissey?", a tag line that was to later be adopted by TRM (The Real Morrissey) on his stage back drop. Michael Winner was always a very outspoken character, and not particularly popular. I wonder if he went to his grave still not knowing who Morrissey was? I have only read one obituary, written by Morrissey's former lodger/friend/minder/photographer Jake Walters. He wrote on twitter yesterday:

"I don't usually speak badly of people I've photographed or the dead as it's unfair. But Michael Winner was a cunt." I wonder if Walters does after dinner speeches?



"MICHAEL WINNER WAS A CUNT" - JAKE WALTERS

As I write this, a new article has been posted on the MW blog, entitled 'Why I Love Years of Refusal' by Broken, so I am now off t read it. Earlier today, I presented the brand new Twitterdilly Arms Top 10, to a good sized audience in The Arms. The chart was dominated by songs the breathtakingly good concert in Reading PA. Tonight's concert is in that horrible looking leisure centre in Columbus, that I speculated before Christmas would be cancelled.... it was, but it looks like this time, it will go ahead. Let's just hope there is some footage posted on Youtube, especially of Speedway, I HATE not knowing what was in yesterday's pause, could somebody PLEASE post what it was, even if you post anonymously ; )


THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS TOP 10 - WEEK BEGINNING SUNDAY 20TH JANUARY 2013
(A weekly chart of the most played songs in the Twit Arms, counted down every Tuesday at 12.45pm)

1. BLACK CLOUD (LIVE IN READING PA) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuGu43OyOLU

2. THEN I SCREAMED (AKA SOON) (LIVE IN READING PA) - KRISTEEN YOUNG (NEW ENTRY):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBBruFEtXAs

3. STILL ILL (+ THE BLUE ROSE PRESIDENT SPEAKS) (LIVE IN READING PA) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzNu7n5JFHo

4. SPEEDWAY (+ '0' '0' and ASLEEP) (LIVE IN READING PA) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8Knu9-bAH4&feature=player_embedded

5. HOW SOON IS NOW? (+ THE BLUE ROSE PRESIDENT INVADES) (LIVE IN READING PA) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnpnH28WHk4&feature=player_embedded

6. EVERYDAY IS LIKE SUNDAY (MEOW) (LIVE IN READING PA) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcTfTY4QW3g

7. THE YOUNGEST WAS THE MOST LOVED (LIVE AT RED BANK NJ) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0ImVZiO1fc

8. OUIJA BOARD, OUIJA BOARD (LIVE IN READING PA) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZN2GD5ljE0Q

9. UNTITLED ('NO') (LIVE IN READING PA) - KRISTEEN YOUNG (NEW ENTRY):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcUcrCqmf6Y

10. WELCOME TO MY WORLD - DEAN MARTIN (NO CHANGE):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX7BAfXn85Y


SOME OF THE SONGS THAT DIDN'T QUITE MAKE THIS WEEK'S CHART:

11. SHOPLIFTERS OF THE WORLD UNITE (READING) - MORRISSEY
12. ALMA MATTERS (READING) - MORRISSEY
13. YOU HAVE KILLED ME (STRATHMORE) - MORRISSEY
15. ACTION IS MY MIDDLE NAME (STRATHMORE) - MORRISSEY
18. GOT LOVE IF YOU WANT IT - THE STRYPES: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqQOiMYPsA8
24. NOVEMBER SPAWNED A MONSTER (RED BANK) - MORRISSEY
29. I KNOW IT'S OVER (RED BANK) - MORRISSEY
37. JEANE (GLASTONBURY) - THE SMITHS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u51oTz9PWM
65: AYE AYE AYE AYE MOOSEY - MODERN ROMANCE
67. KISS YOU - ONE DIRECTION: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4cdfRohhcg
68. WHERE ARE WE NOW? - DAVID BOWIE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWtsV50_-p4
76. UPSTARTS - JOHNNY 'MACCA' MARR: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aCaT0fZzj467


JOHNNY 'MACCA' MARR (AT NUMBER 76 IN THIS WEEK'S CHART) WEARING HIS BLUE ROSE SOCIETY PIN (BADGE) AS HE COLLECTS YET ANOTHER NME ARSE LICK AWARD FOR HIS WORK WITH THE SMITHS

WATCH OUT FOR THE NME THROWING AWARD AFTER AWARD AT MARR IN 2013 FOR HIS SOLO ALBUM, NO MATTER WHAT IT'S LIKE. THE NME ARE USING MARR AS THEIR TWO FINGERS UP TO MORRISSEY. JOHNNY IS IN DANGER OF BECOMING LIKE MUTTLEY IN 'STOP THE PIGEON'.

"MEDAL, MEDAL, MEDAL"

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