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Monday, 29 December 2014

Day 1173 - The boy with the horn in his hand - December 1st 2014

(For some reason the date of publication has changed! Bloody computers.)

December 1st 2014

This will be my one and only blog entry this week (unless a new parody piece appears or Moz accepts a blue rose in Dublin tonight) as I have an incredibly busy schedule. The post-show buzz from the London O2 concert has continued for the last two days amongst Morrissey's online fans, but still the masses have failed to notice the relevance of the signs that were given by Moz.

I cannot bring myself to read through the whole of the O2 concert thread on So-Low due to all the usual irrelevant crap that has been posted, but I did notice one Solower asking, "why the Bruce Lee picture at the end?". Of course none of the Solowers were able to give an answer to this question, simply because they haven't been following the MorrisseysWorld story, so therefore don't know the relevance to it being used. As I explained in my blog entry yesterday, Bruce Lee is giving the 'V' sign that was part of MorrisseysWorld, but that wasn't the only sign given by Moz at the O2. As Broken pointed out in The Twitterdilly Arms yesterday evening, "Morrissey made, for the first time in his career, the horned hand sign live - the only MW sign that had not been made live."

As far as I am aware, NO ONE outside of the BlueRoseSociety has mentioned Morrissey making the the 'Horn Hand' sign at the end of the O2 concert, but then again, even if anyone did enquire as to why Moz made the sign, they would NEVER believe the answer; why, because they don't want to believe, they are sleeping!



MORRISSEY GIVES THE 'HORN HAND' SIGN AT THE VERY END OF THE LONDON CONCERT - THE LAST OF THE MW SIGNS TO BE GIVEN LIVE

BRS PRESIDENT KYLE DOUGLAS GIVES THE HORN HAND SIGN AT RADIO CITY BEFORE LATER JUMPING ON STAGE & HANDING MORRISSEY HIS BLUE ROSE - OCTOBER 2012

The rest of Broken's visit to The Arms yesterday evening saw him  A) singing the praises of Bieber (the pet abandonment seems to have been forgotten, or at least ignored), B) Praising us BRS members C) Slagging off ex BRS members. Broken was also annoyed at whoever has registered the old MorrisseysWorld blog site name, stating, "Imagine how low you have to be to register the name of a blog you once visited just to stop it reopening."

Youtube footage has emerged of Morrissey accepting a red rose at the O2 during Speedway, which resulted in the woman passing the rose, being thrown out. The NME also noticed all the roses, and their reporter, Mark Beaumont wrote "as roses were flung onstage", but rather bizarrely, this reference to roses was later edited out! WHY?



MORRISSEY ACCEPTS A RED ROSE AT THE O2

And that is all I have to write!

*Goes off singing* This should go on forever, this should never ever end

Day 1172 - MorrisseysWorld Alive & Well - November 30th 20014

(For some reason the date of publication has changed! Bloody computers.)

November 30th 20014

I can barely bring myself to write anything as I am so tired from my busy day in London yesterday which didn't end until I crawled into bed at 4am this morning. My day included meeting the lovely Boz & Lyn Boorer at Vinyl Boutique in Camden, and also visiting the Church of Notr Dame de France, where I saw the Jean Cocteau drawing of the Blue Rose, but needless to say, the highlight of the day was the Morrissey concert at the O2, which was quite unbelievable. To hear/see the songs from the new album in the flesh were worth the long wait. Staircase, Kiss Me A Lot and I'm Not a Man were my personal highlights from WPINOYB, whilst TQID, Suedehead, Asleep and Sunday were the highlights from the back catalogue; although the ultimate highlight was Trouble Loves Me, which was something quite special. I held aloft my inflatable red rose throughout Trouble, and Morrissey walked across and sung directly to it:


MORRISSEY SERENADES THE INFLATABLE RED ROSE AT 4 MINS 12

Roses were prominent throughout the show, with two red roses being thrown to Morrissey during the very first song:


MORRISSEY CATCHES A RED ROSE AT 3 MINS 48 & TOSSES IT BACK

One red rose, which was thrown at some stage during the evening (I can't remember during which song), was caught by Morrissey, and instead of throwing it back, he placed it behind him. Both Myself and EARS hurled our blue roses to the stage at the encore, along with the inflatable one, but they all went unnoticed.

With regard to MorrisseysWorld signs, there were a number of 'O' signs made throughout the night, including during Earth is the Loneliest Planet, although no Youtube footage has yet emerged of it. The biggest, and most obvious MW sign was the 'Horn Hand' which Moz gave right at the end of the concert:




MORRISSEY MAKES THE HORN HAND AT 3 MINS 58 (EARS' BLUE ROSE CAN BE SEEN LAYING ON THE STAGE AT 3 MINS 18 & THE INFLATABLE RED CAN BE SEEN AT 4 MINS, TIDIED AWAY BEHIND THE SPEAKERS)



MORRISSEY FINISHES THE CONCERT WITH BRUCE LEE MAKING A 'V' SIGN IN THE BACKGROUND (ANOTHER SIGN FROM MORRISSEYSWORLD) MORRISSEY ALSO SEEMS TO BE SPORTING A TATTOO ON HIS RIGHT ARM

Broken has appeared in The Arms today, and stated, "The O2 was awesome." Here are his other highlights:

"Part Two of the FTM parody coming soon - Morrissey enjoys a pre-gig meal with friends... and Boz."

"Best songs last night? Everyday was outstanding. Queen was majestic. Asleep was enrapturing. Istanbul and, oddly, Bullfighter flew high."

"I didn't see any roses. Did he receive any?"

"I saw some signs - hang signs, owl eyes... it's not enough... BRS needs MORE!!!"

Broken posted a number of Bieber pictures, as usual, but then turned on him:

"Justin abandons YET another pet. So far it's a snake, a hamster, a monkey and now a dog. Is he a c***?"

"How can someone treat a pet like a fashion accessory? Is he a psychopath?"

"Does Justin's personal beauty mask a hideous human being?"

"After some time standing up for Biebs I'm worried. Perhaps he really is a c***."

"I once had a nightmare in which I kept buying dogs and giving them away. That, for me, is a nightmare. That, for Biebs, is life."

Broken also went into Our Mozzer mode, with a dig at both Jeremy Paxman and Jeremy Clarkson... maybe he just doesn't like Jeremys'!:

"Jeremy Paxman made a career to of asking the easy questions in a confrontational manner. Frost asked difficult questions diplomatically."

"Jeremy Clarkson is the dullest thing this side of a Nissan Primera rear light cluster."


That will have to do for today, I am shattered. As five days have now passed, I will remove the parody piece from the front page and also publish the other blog entries that I have written this week. We now look forward to the new parody piece.




Day 1169 - One of Our Own & Joyce Book? - Thursday November 27th

News has emerged today that Australian cricketer Phil Hughes has died after being hit on the head by a bouncer. For those of us with a love for cricket, such news is horrific.





Back in Moz world, the target of 100 comments set by Broken for the parody piece has been reached, but I am still under contract to keep the parody piece on the front page of FTM, so this entry will not be published until Sunday.

Fifi, Broken and Astra all made visits to The Arms yesterday, with Fifi interacting with myself, Willow and George. Fifi posted a few songs, including Teenie Weenie Boppie by France GallHier Encore by Charles Aznavour & Serge Lama and L'herbe Tendre by Michel Simon and Serge Gainsbourg. Fifi's interactions included promising "a special flash" for George in Antwerp, but no footage has yet emerged of the encore song Everyday is like Sunday, so I have no idea if there was a "special" flash or not. Fifi also disclosed that "there is a photo of me with the donkey at La Fabrique", but this has yet to be seen. Fifi did of course email me a photo of the donkey from La Fab, but not with any humans in the photo, just Tony the Pony.

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BOWIE THE DONKEY AND TONY THE PONY AT LA FAB MARCH 2014

Fifi also enjoyed my posting of a classic Steptoe & Son clip entitled Porn Yesterday, remarking, "This is excellent":



Broken's visit to The Arms was at 9.40pm Belgium time, which once again means it COULD NOT have been Morrissey tweeting, as he was on stage. God only knows who it was using the account. Broken once again posted Bieber pictures, plus he also posted Twin Peaks clips, and congratulated me on my contribution to the parody piece. He disappeared for a while and returned just after 10.30pm (Belgium time) to tweet:

"My mind aches. Life is more painful than death. Yet the only thing worth doing is living fully."

"When you need it, love is a curse. When you don't even care anymore, love is a rare pleasure."

"The haves make money and the have nots borrow, beg and vote for austerity."

"Forget the trash who were disloyal. The only members of BRS that matter are those who are currently members."

"We will prevail."

"The TRUE MEMBERS will get their reward soon enough."

"UKIP 2015. Say no to foreign war, endless mass immigration, EU tyranny and political correctness."

UKIP LEADER NIGEL FARAGE WITH MARK RECKLESS, THE SECOND UKIP MP TO WIN A SEAT LAST WEEK - BROKEN WOULD APPEAR TO BE A FAN OF THE PARTY

Astra once again joined Broken in praising Biebs, and also played a number of superb songs on the Twit Arms jukebox, which she has also continued to do this afternoon. Astra has also posted some poetry:

"Crescent moon tonight. Dark sky, no stars. That makes one hollow when I raise my eyes. And everything the same below. Beauty in visual echo."


 TA-RA-TA-TA BY MINA - WHERE HAS THIS SONG BEEN HIDING ALL OF MY LIFE?







Astra also left this comment on FTM yesterday regarding the parody piece:

The philistine / Palestine moment was comedy gold. I've never had even one single PC thought in my head, so the Poles unable to eat without their UK benefits made me laugh far too loudly in a far too quiet room, and the mulling over of the idea of suing one's own fans was done with incomparable elegance and untouchable panache. 'Is it any wonder one keeps traipsing off stage instead of playing on?' LOL. LOL. LOL.

All that aside, calling anyone at all a syphilitic cunt is a metaphor without compare. I was very happy to see this in this piece and am so glad that apparently I'm not the only one who likes to bandy this glittering diamond about every now and again.

MW SWAG is ON


Posted by Astraea to Following The Mozziah at 26 November 2014 22:51


In other news Mike Joyce has tweeted to say that Morrissey receives 50% of the publishing royalties for the Smiths song 'Oscillate Wildly' and all other Smiths instrumentals, whilst he and Andy receive none. He went on to add that it is "a bizarre anomaly in publishing" and that "I am going to put a book out". When Joyce took Morrissey to court he effectively built a coffin for the Smiths; his book will be the nails. I can't imagine Joyce selling many copies of his autobiography, so surely he would be better off just saying sorry to Moz. Of course Joyce won't ever say sorry because he still doesn't accept he was wrong. His loss.

And finally, a tweeter called @Hatful0fHollow has tweeted to state that she had her blue rose accepted by Moz in Gothenburg, and that Moz placed it on the drum. According to Kerry and Hoarsely, who were both there (without blue roses!!), Moz didn't accept a rose at all. How bizarre that we BRS members are now trying to prove that Moz hasn't accepted blue roses! You couldn't make this up.

Day 1132 - Chart (Tuesday Oct 21st 2014)

Tuesday Oct 21st 2014

TWITTERDILLY CHART

1. TROUBLE LOVES ME (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Omfu2xirVpw (Milan) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=249IN0bpM5w (Bologna)



2. NEAL CASSADY DROPS DEAD (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVn0jVGXCSU (Pescara)  + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jkom8NKuZ5E (Rome) + Milan https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVF4Z2PwMqE

3. I'M NOT A MAN (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-CdcloevTI (Milan) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMnbqhF4oXk (Bologna)

4. EVERYDAY IS LIKE SUNDAY (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idm_f3BbQ1k (Bologna) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYR0W4uKiAg (Pescara) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cwk3w2GSXn4 (Milan) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Au3fEMFEZqU (Rome)




5. KISS ME A LOT (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3E_ly_YyNqU (Milan) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrTn2AFUUWM (Bologna)

6. WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAFb_5FSjwc (Milan) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJJ5Fs17VP8#t=10 (Pescara)

7. ISTANBUL (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZsnroq88jI&list=UU8x5bNZctlBrgLphscgJolA (Pescara) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgdFY84F224 (Milan)

8. EARTH IS THE LONELIEST PLANET (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnZLROBxvXs + Milan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbOwcQVX_dg&list=UUL4jXppAfNHhHSCF-_QcoRw

9. KICK THE BRIDE DOWN THE AISLE (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNPOZg_idfk (Rome)




10. THE QUEEN IS DEAD (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY):  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxitcT1Ilus (Rome) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgwT0eYRQWQ (Bologna)

11. SPEEDWAY (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3klfahYVh0 (Milan) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZmTKK1czW4 (Bologna)

12. HOW SOON IS NOW? (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxLgVDMwz_I (Bologna) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVVWvb8oKU8&feature=youtu.be (Milan)

13. THE BULLFIGHTER DIES (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt-iuSq-BX8 (Milan) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoJaA26JN_s (Bologna)

14. MEAT IS MURDER (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1J3h0iLOsg (Rome) + Milan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzHK6DlwPDQ&list=UUlY7nSG0IPub8BGu2oHsF8g

15. ASLEEP (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPVBDxlRInE (Rome) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fcp6efJp2VM (Bologna)


16. YOU HAVE KILLED ME (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0l-RaovjWAA + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SD2ov_BGDQ4 (Bologna)

17. CERTAIN PEOPLE I KNOW (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KC5oBtr_nMs (Milan) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aRcXM6NAB4 (Bologna)

18. I'M THROWING MY ARM AROUND PARIS (LIVE IN ITALY 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsGLLFQxmN8 (Rome)

19. ONE DAY GOODBYE WILL BE FAREWELL (LIVE IN MILAN 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hb2F0lcNl9I

20. I KNOW IT'S OVER (LIVE IN MANCHESTER 2012) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4U0IZ4q8TA

21. HEART - RITA PAVONE (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGa7Y5C11so



22. OUR DAY WILL COME - RUBY & THE ROMANTICS (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qw9RVjEN9OI

23. SUSPICION - TERRY STAFFORD (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKI9Mcwaf14

24. PLAYBOY - THE MARVELETTES (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HBf5DMV0qk

25. I'M IN LOVE - JAYNE MANSFIELD (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKBdBKM5Ris

26. I WANT YOU WITH ME - RITA PAVONE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2klDqEBPxw




*Eventually published Nov 9th 2015 - I have no idea why the date Dec 29th 2014 is listed!

Sunday, 28 December 2014

Day 1200 - Suspended

'R' has posted the following message on FTM:

OM has announced posting of the parody is suspended until FTM gets more comments.

"I hardly think a certain iconic star would be seen dead on a blog site with so few comments," said OM with a sad smile.

R

Posted by Morrissey to Following The Mozziah at 27 December 2014 at 21:35


I now ask that EVERYBODY who still reads this old piffle of mine, whether a believer or not, leave some sort of comment, so that we get a new parody piece. Even those who are banned are invited to post; well, it is the festive season!

Meanwhile, with the MorrisseysWorld blog now in the hands of the dreary fraudster, B Budd, and with Our Mozzer no longer on twitter, I continue to stay away from either blog writing or tweeting; there is no longer anything to write about, although I must make mention of  a blogsite I stumbled across yesterday, entitled StillMorrisseysWorld.blogspot.com.

The Still MW blog has been written by somebody calling themselves 'Our Mozzer', and the only article on there is the one identical to one on  MorrisseysWorldstill.blogsite.com , dated July 28th 2014, entitled, 'The forgotten man remains'. I previously posted this piece on Day 1052 of FTM. The only difference to the original is that this one is signed Our Mozzer instead of St. ill Morrisseys World, and it is timed 14:18 instead of 14:25. Broken has always maintained that the MorrisseysWorldStill site (along with the @AlfsButton twitter account) is the work of an imposter, and NOT Our Mozzer, so what is this other site all about? Did the imposter originally call the new site StillMorrisseysWorld and then decide to change it to MorrisseysWorldStill instead, and if so, WHY? And why change the user name? More mystery. Here is the article :

Monday, 28 July 2014
The Forgotten Man remains.

Today I feel as though I am trapped in Mountjoy.  The sun brings many things and unfortunately one of those things is 'sunbathers'. Shock number one is that I am amongst them. Not burning of course and with something between my ears but here none-the-less. Unfathomably still here. Unfashionably still alive. Switzerland relaxes the self and postpones reality for a flinching second. Talking of postponements! The U.S tour cancellations have flattened my spirit more than you could ever know. However, the mental strain of the previous years and due to ‘complications’ with harvest I was left mentally drained and struggled to complete any of the gigs. To those who I have wronged, I apologise and I will make it up to you soon.

Yes One’s mental state has somewhat deteriorated over these last years. I could not even summon the strength to promote my new album. World Peace as a result is limping in the charts worldwide and has broken my spirits even more.  I am the forgotten man of music. Thrown on the heap with Rick Astley.  My album was of course less well received than the comeback album of the one with insecure teeth. Oh well, I’ll never learn.

I have spent today lazing, not grazing, on the beach. It is weird how often life imitates art. I have to go now as Boz is bringing me over a drink. Wine for me and a jug of water for himself. He appears to be wearing a dress and holding a lead that has a goat on it. Some things never change.

Do not forget me. Please
Posted by Our Mozzer at 14:18


Now get commenting




Saturday, 27 December 2014

Day 1199 - More Alf & the Still MW Blog (Unpublished)

It has been 22 days since I last published a blog entry, and 18 days since I wrote an unpublished entry. Since those entires, I have had a two week holiday in Mexico, Morrissey has finished his tour of Europe, and Christmas has come and gone. The MorrisseysWorld blog remains in the hands of a fraudster, so there is nothing for me to really write about, although I the reason I am here now, is to record the twitter offerings of @AlfsButton. Despite virtually everybody thinking AB is NOT Moz, I of course know that he is, so here for the record are his recent twitter highlights:

DEC 18TH:

"Exhausted yet still alive"

"Have I lost the plot? Was there a plot to begin with?"

"Do you remember my youthful face or is it a distant memory? A moment in time"

"I lost myself in delusions."

"Not everything is as it seems"

"Your own worst enemy is yourself. Move on."

"My mind is broken"

"Humbled by humility"

"There is no such thing as a real Morrissey"

The Australian pop group 5 Seconds of Summer were inviting questions. Alf posted this one:

"What is the point of you? You'll be forgotten about in 10 months."

DEC 19TH:

"Ringleader of the Crashing Bores"

DEC 21ST:

"June, June, June"

"Wipes sweat from brow and juts out jaw."

"Death is an abomination yet we inch closer."

"Fingernails entrenched onto the cliffs of life"

"Where am I? Who are you?"

DEC 26TH:

"We are in the depths of despair"

"Cornelius Carr day"


Alf currently has 70 followers, and virtually no one interacts with him.

Astraea and Broken have both made brief appearances in The Arms whilst I have been away, with Astra mainly concentrating on Bieber tweets and BB pictures. Broken's account is currently down, so I have no idea what he has tweeted. There is still no sign of a new parody!






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*Eventually published Nov 9th 2015

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Day 1181 - Bonnie and Clyde (unpublished)

December 9th 2014

There is still no sign of the new MW parody piece, and unless it arrives by tomorrow, it won't be published until at least Christmas Eve, as I am off to Mehico.

Morrissey cancelled last Friday's concert in Athens due to missing a flight from Heathrow. Alf took to twitter on Saturday with the following:

"Airports are not the place for an artist of my standing. Who do they think I am? Daniel Bedingfield?"

Alf has also returned to twitter today, and also my DM box. Here are his twitterisms:

"Ignorance is not necessarily a bad thing."

"There are many things I wish to be ignorant of. Jamie Oliver for one."

"Christmas is not a time to trade slaps or turkey."

The "slaps" quote was a reference to Morrissey turning down Channel 4's invitation for him to give an alternative Queens Speech on Christmas day:

8 December 2014

Alternative Christmas Speech

Morrissey has politely declined an invitation from Channel 4 Television to deliver an Alternative Christmas Day Speech which would be transmitted at the same time that the Queen delivers her Christmas Day speech for the BBC.

Morrissey has commented:

"My view that the monarchy should be quietly dismantled for the good of England is reasonably well-known, but I don't think Christmas Day is quite the time to be trading slaps. The Queen should be allowed the impassioned trance of her annual address to the British people, if only to once again prove that, in her frozen posture, she has nothing to offer and nothing to say, and she has no place in modern Britain except as a figure of repression; no independent thought required. The Queen very well might be the most powerful woman in England, but she lacks the power to make herself loved, and the phony inflation of her family attacks all rational intellect.
All over the world highly civilized peoples exist without the automatic condescension of a 'royal' family. England can do the same, and will find more respect for doing so."





"We are all morphing into parodies."

"There is no such thing as life. We merely exist."

"Michael McIntyre is an odious oaf. I've seen funnier Germans." I asked him to name one, to which he replied, "Fritz Gunter."

"In another world I'd have been called Clive and work in accounts." I told him it was never too late to change, to which he replied, "I would but the application form would be too strenuous. Champagne and studios are the life for me now."

On the DM front, here is our conversation:

ALF: How did you enjoy the o2?

ME: Marvellous. You?

ALF: Extraordinary. It did not sell out though. Although that is the number of people who bought my latest masterpiece.

ME: It was still a remarkable achievement to attract so many.

ALF: Justin would have attracted more.

ME: How many nights do you think JB could sell out?

ALF: 365 and I would be at everyone.

ME: Every one, not everyone. *Tuts* You wouldn't go to any, you fibber.

ALF: The modern world has crushed my ability to construct sentences. I could barely speak on stage. I'd be backstage. Me and Justin are like Bonnie and Clyde. I'd rather we were The Kray Twins.

ME: More like Butch & Sundance. When is Oboe coming to a stage? Mind you, I don't know why I'm asking you, EVRY prediction of yours has been wrong!

ALF: Almost like it was done on purpose.

ME: Yes, almost. Was the rejection by the Savages true? Whether true or not, you introduced me to them, and for that I am grateful.

ALF: That's all I was trying to do. Could you imagine if Jenny Beth is on my next record. Did I not say once that I would record a new album? It is your job to remember these things Ratty.

And that was it.

*Eventually published Nov 9th 2015


Friday, 5 December 2014

Day 1177 - Coming soon

Our Mozzer has left a message via his secretary, 'R', to say that a new parody piece is coming soon. He has once again requested that the piece be left on the front page of FTM for 5 days, but I am going to do better than that, and will give the new parody piece front page exposure on the World's Number 1 Morrissey fawnsite until at least Christmas Eve, and maybe even beyond. It is time for me to disappear for a while. Here is OM's posting:

The next parody will soon be posted.

Once again it must be on the front page for 5 days with no interruption or updates.

If Rat agrees with these conditions, he may write as such below.

'R'

Posted by Morrissey to Following The Mozziah at 4 December 2014 20:15



The new owner of the MorrisseysWorld blogsite, has posted a new article, and although I am loathed to give this attention seeker any sort of publicity, a debate has started as to who could possibly be behind the site. Here is the latest offering:

Morrissey: An Open Letter


Well, you have disappointed most of your fan base with the horrid, and barely listenable WPINOYB album, and you have the nerve to play most of it on your recent tour. The only ones who are pleased with this are you, the very sorry group of "musicians" that you call your band, and the losers known as the BRS.

You always say The Smiths are part of the past, yet you still trudge out some of their songs on tour--hmmm?

It is a pleasure to have this site, and until you reunite with the likes of Alain, Boz, Gary, and Spencer, no one will respect you or your current work. Well, maybe the fools known as the deluded dozen.

Warmest regards,

A True Fan

P.S. I will be like the world's largest sycophant, TRB, and delete any comments that are not worthy of publication. For example, Comrade Harps tried to post something, but he lacked the intellect and thoughtfulness to be permitted to post.
The best bit of this open letter is where the author calls for Moz to reunite with Boz, but I also like the fact that they call themselves a "true fan", having slagged off Morrissey's latest album and band. This 'open letter' stinks to me of being a spoof, designed to make us think that the blog has been taken over by one of the Solowers, but if that were the case, then A) They wouldn't call it 'SoLow' World and B) The author would have had NO interest in Broken, who was the subject of the first article on the site. I am still convinced that it is the work of Chuck, but here is a list of all the runners and their latest odds:

CHUCK: 1/2. Fell out with Broken when he refused to provide her with the evidence she demanded during 'Fag-gate'. Has pretended to be me on both SoLow & twitter, so has previous form for such things. Very bitter about having been expelled from the BRS by Broken.

THAT MAN 5/1. Hates Morrissey.


DAVID T

UNCLE SKINNY: 5/1. Hates Morrissey.

ANOTHER SOLOWER: 5/1. Hates Morrissey.

JOYCE GOAT: 5/1. Hates Morrissey.


JOYCE GOAT

JUDGE WEEKS: (If still alive) 5/1. Hates Morrissey.

NIGEL DAVIS QC: 5/1. Hates Morrissey.

MORRISSEY: 5/1. Hates Morrissey.

BRADLEY STEYN: 10/1. Twat.

BANJAXER: 100/1. Could be doing this as a joke. Many twitter aliases. Has a blog.

MARCUS THE GREEK: 200/1. Fell out with Broken when he refused to provide him with the evidence he demanded during 'Fag-gate'. An unlikely candidate as he would probably not have known the names Alain, Gary and Spencer. Full of own self importance. Has a blog.

GOB: 500/1. Fell out with Broken after allegedly mocking his suicide attempt, calling him a fag, and showing disgust at him fancying a younger man (Bieber). Not a Solower and unlikely to have the wit to write a spoof letter. Has a blog.

LIZZYCAT: 1000/1. Sided with GOB during her fall out out with Broken, and has remained there ever since.

ROSY MIRES 1000/1. Despite promising to walk away from MorrisseysWorld in 2012 following Our Mozzer's mocking of Whitney Houston's demise, Rosy has always remained, and is bitter. Has criticised some of the tracks on WPINOYB, but as she has travelled all over the place to see Moz on this tour, is an unlikely candidate.


WHITNEY

WILLOW: 1000/1. Fell out with Broken when he pointed out her tweets were dull.

GEORGE EDGE. 1000/1. Sided with Willow when she fell out with Broken, and has remained there. Has a blog.

ANON WHO ALWAYS MOANS THAT HE/SHE WAS FIRST TO COME UP WITH THE IDEA OF BLUE ROSE: 1000/1. An unlikely candidate as the text on the site would have been one long ramble and would have gone on about how the idea of the blue rose came from another in the first place and had been stolen by those with no scruples just because they weren't homeless or could afford to go and watch Morrissey all over the world whereas others who are less fortunate can't but that doesn't mean they love Morrissey any less.

Morrissey returns to the stage tonight in Athens, and then has five more concerts before the end of the tour. As this will be my last blog entry for a while, let me take this opportunity to wish all of the BRS members a Merry Christmas, and to the others who read this old tosh of mine, I wish for you the ability to open your eyes, minds and hearts. One day you will realise.


*Goes off singing* And I've never felt so alive, in the whole of my life, in the whole of myyyy life. Free yourself, be yourself, come to The Arms and see yourself.

Wednesday, 3 December 2014

Day 1175 - A broken world

Broken once again tweeted all the way through Monday night's Morrissey concert, leaving everyone asking, 'just who is it that tweets as Broken when Morrissey is on stage?'.

Broken has always been a mysterious 'character', but we should never lose sight of the fact that he is just that, a character, and the chances are, there are a number of different actors who have played his part, including, as I believe, Morrissey himself; although when Morrissey adopts the role, he may not necessarily be acting, especially when the real Morrissey (TRM) is feeling broken.... this isn't straight forward!








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MORRISSEY - AN ACTOR PLAYING A PART?

Right from the very beginning of the MorrisseysWord story, Broken was introduced as a Rio Ferdinand/Alan Smith loving homosexual in his mid 30s, who was a failed medic with a love of juicy steaks; i.e, A CHARACTER! In more recent times, he has developed an obsessional crush on Justin Bieber, and become an ardent UKIP supporter. To make life even more confusing, Broken has at times claimed to be Morrissey himself, particularly when the real Morrissey is at a low ebb.

As it was obviously NOT Morrissey playing the role of Broken on Monday night, I asked Broken how he had managed to get Morrissey to make all of the MorrisseysWorld signs on stage, to which Broken replied, "It's easy... he is the blog's biggest fan." Broken also posted, "The ONLY outstanding pledge now is a Bieber t-shirt."


THE FORMER MRS RUSSELL BRAND WEARING A BIEBER T-SHIRT - WILL MOZ BE NEXT?

It's all well and good saying that Morrissey is the biggest fan of the MorrisseysWorld blog, but the blog has now fallen into the hands of someone else, with the general census of opinion being that the new owner is Chuck. Chuck has renamed the MW blog SolowWorld with the tag line 'Not a place for sycophants'. The blog has also posted it's first article entitled, 'Broken--A disgusting person' with the following text:

So, after viewing the disturbing posts by the person known as Broken, one can only deduce that Broken is a very sick and twisted person who has numerous issues. His demeaning tone to those who do not kiss his arse or agree with him is so hypocritical. Those who support this twisted being are as sad as he is.

The new owner of the MW blog has made the mistake of thinking that Broken is a real person, and not a character. The Broken character is not a wall flower, and loves nothing more than a good argument, which has resulted in the Blue Rose Society being ripped apart as he points out the flaws of a number of it's members. He shoots from the hip, but as for being "disgusting", "disturbing", "sick" and "twisted", this just isn't true! Chuck, or whoever the new MW owner is, has used these descriptive words purely and simply because she has fallen out with Broken, but she has failed to back up the words with ANY evidence. Broken isn't "disgusting" or "sick", he merely has a different outlook to the likes of Chuck and GOB, and also has an uncanny ability to highlight human flaws.... which is ALWAYS hard for those with the flaws to accept.

As to where the MW story goes from here, I really don't know. I started following MorrisseysWorld because I stumbled across a fantastically humorous blog, and an incredibly witty twitter account. Both have now gone, although as I witnessed first hand on Saturday, Morrissey is still carrying out signs from the MW blog, and humorous parody pieces are still being written and placed on FTM, so there is life in the old Parody Moz yet.

Will the Bieber t-shirt be worn, and will we see a blue rose accepted on this tour? Interestingly, the BlueRoseSociety tumblr has been updated to include a photo of the blue roses from the new Homme+ magazine, and also @Hatful0fHollow 's 'Gothenburg Blue Rose' photo has been added to the tumblr site. Hatful claimed that Moz accepted her blue rose in Gothenburg; a claim that was disputed by both Kerry 'No Rose Action' Richards and Nathalie HoarsleyCry, who were both there, but perhaps Kerry & Nathalie were mistaken, and maybe the rose was accepted.


THE BLUE ROSE OF GOTHENBURG - ACCEPTED AS CLAIMED BY TWITTER USER @HATFUL0FHOLLOW?

And finally, I must make mention of AlfsButton (formerly St.Ill Moz) who made a whole host of predictions for this tour, which included; Staircase at the Uni being sung as the first doing of the tour, Girl Least Likely To being sung within the first five dates,  a Morrissey appearance on the Skavlan tv show, the London O2 concert being filmed and introduced by Ricky Gervais, and a blue rose being accepted in Dublin. Not one of these predictions has come true, which categorically proves that either A) Alf is NOT Morrissey or B) Alf is Morrissey. There is NO C).

The story continues. Now where is that new parody piece that Broken was promising?

TWITTERDILLY ARMS CHART (Please note that Staircase, I'm Not a Man & Kick the Bride at the O2 would all have featured but have not been loaded to Youtube.)

1. TROUBLE LOVES ME (LIVE AT THE LONDON O2 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L9W-27XWEM (London) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXDdDhTw6Ns&feature=youtu.be (Essen) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_-cQT-dYy8 (Antwerp) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yalzQ7HKXmE (Dublin)

2. SUEDEHEAD (LIVE AT THE LONDON O2 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob1as9mr3yo (London) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsIoWYWhLkY (Essen) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeP9gwlxiMA (Antwerp)

3. THE QUEEN IS DEAD (LIVE AT THE LONDON O2 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac7bwJRBoqM (London) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=964nnOWq5xA (Antwerp)

4. EVERYDAY IS LIKE SUNDAY (LIVE AT THE LONDON O2 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHpczb6jcGA

5. KISS ME A LOT (LIVE AT THE LONDON O2 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZCv9sypYVc (London) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFizny4QFTY (Antwerp)

6. ASLEEP (LIVE AT THE LONDON O2 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RGYuzXlE68

7. SMILER WITH KNIFE (LIVE AT THE LONDON O2 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnYPg67jZDU

8. MEAT IS MURDER (LIVE AT THE LONDON O2 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-twXlz5MYNs

9. THE BULLFIGHTER DIES (LIVE AT THE LONDON 02 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnVSLL0fr_I

10. MOUNTJOY (LIVE IN ANTWERP 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUsLs8_IhN8

11. SPEEDWAY (LIVE AT THE LONDON 02 2O14) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7WpnAVmfDY

12. EARTH IS THE LONELIEST PLANET (LIVE AT THE LONDON O2 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_R0Cpr-_Obk (London) +  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1W-ENbBiTs (Essen)

13. WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS (LIVE AT THE LONDON O2 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18Gcpv-rK8U (London) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDKH5DyZuX0 (Essen) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NuqtoAICXw (Antwerp)

14. ISTANBUL (LIVE AT THE LONDON 02 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5w9jLSqnmpI

15. SCANDINAVIA (LIVE AT THE LONDON O2 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lU7f44VROyw (London) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmYuYfs84tM (Essen)

16. NEAL CASSADY DROPS DEAD (LIVE AT THE LONDON O2 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3TI-syAi7Y (London) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqEDJXUM4RA (Essen) + http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCrvvk6mEBU (Antwerp)

17. I'M THROWING MY ARMS AROUND PARIS (LIVE AT THE LONDON O2 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8qqeeo6pVA

18. SPEEDWAY/ I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO (LIVE IN ANTWERP 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVbav7gd9XE&list=UUy9yqT68A2j_cajqA0MOfyw

19. STAIRCASE AT THE UNIVERSITY (LIVE IN ESSEN & ANTWERP 2104) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0-78_SgJKA

20. SPEEDWAY (PLUS SNIPPET OF DON'T BE CRUEL) (LIVE IN BERLIN 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvh0-szytR4

21. ONE OF OUR OWN (LIVE IN ANTWERP 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwHxpV3ClaY

22. YES, I AM BLIND (LIVE IN ESSEN 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sU2degOKOFA

23. KICK THE BRIDE DOWN THE AISLE (LIVE IN BERLIN & ANTWERP 2014) - MORRISSEY (NE ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32PrIgY-5TI (Berlin) + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGFd_PwMf0w (Antwerp)

24. HOW SOON IS NOW? (LIVE IN ANTWERP 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lppS1VMnh8I

25. TA-RA-TA-TA - MINA (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T56LqGBsoi0



26. STRIPTEASE WITH A DIFFERENCE - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eT1R_c11HlM

27. LONDON, CAN YOU WAIT? - GENE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mB8Zp8pSNRw

28. STANISLAS - BRIGITTE BARDOT & LES FRERES JAQUES (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snLQJiBVcrQ

29. LA FILLE DE PAILLE - BRIGITTE BARDOT (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1DrIpSG9BU





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30. YOU ONLY YOU - RITA PAVONE (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1BDctctGjc

31. LA BAMBOLA - PATTY PRAVO (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIml7-ivxgo

32. TEENIE WEENIE BOPPIE - FRANCE GALL (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGq5gLj2kT0

33. BEFORE YOU GO - RITA PAVONE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtQ5Kkje_8w

34. SUDDENLY (LIVE IN GLASTONBURY 2014) - ANNA CALVI (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLaskVytfzg

35. HIER ENCORE - CHARLES AZNAVOUR & SERGE LAMA (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPObDVRxZUU

36. DON'T BE CRUEL - ELVIS PRESLEY (NEW  ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0N4kmSCVkw

37. OUR FRANK - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zvukxRHfNE

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THE BLUE ROSE IN MORRISSEY'S OUR FRANK VIDEO

38. ASHES TO ASHES - DAVID BOWIE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMThz7eQ6K0

39. PAROLES, PAROLES - DALIDA & ALAIN DELON (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ifJapuqYiU

40. RUM AND COCA-COLA - GIGLIOLA CINQUETTI (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8CS0A5DKf0

41. MANITAS DE PLATA-SOIRÉE FLAMENCO (WITH BB WATCHING) (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mR0niexyRSU

42. L'HERBE TENDRE - MICHEL SIMON & SERGE GAINSBOURG (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOYMfntQ6K0

43. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO - GILBERT O'SULLIVAN (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jp2VAHz6ngk

44. WE WILL - GILBERT O'SULLIVAN (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IeySdPvyJk

Friday, 28 November 2014

Day 1170 - Oh, those Belgians

It would appear that the two concerts in Antwerp on Wednesday and Thursday both contained a little bit of 'incident', with Wednesday's concert having to be stopped during Staircase due to over zealous theatre security, and Thursday's concert attracting another heckler, who Morrissey pointed out was "very brave in the dark" before then labelling him a "coward" before suggesting he "go home".




(The coward in the vulgar red pullover: https://www.facebook.com/WeAreMozzerians/posts/575603089252170)

Incidents aside, last nights concert also premiered both Smiler With Knife and Moutjoy, but as yet, no Youtube footage has emerged of either! There is also still no footage of Wednesday's encore, so we don't know if there was a special "flash" for George as promised by Fifi. WHAT is wrong with these Belgians; it's as though they are a subspecies!

One piece of footage that has emerged from last night, is of Speedway which has the added bonus of a HUGE snippet of Gilbert O'Sullivan's I Didn't know What to Do during the pause. Hugely entertaining stuff, but from reports I have read, the Belgian crowd was a bit subdued, and the concert was cut short after just 15 songs.



There is nothing new to report on either the MorrisseysWorld or Blue Rose front, so I guess I shouldn't really be blogging, and what is more, I can't even publish this entry until Sunday due to my promise to leave the parody piece on the homepage of FTM... not that anyone new is likely to discover it!


A great new Morrissey interview has emerged on the internet, this time with Vegan Logic. It is one of the best Moz interviews in recent times, with Morrissey really opening up on a number of subjects, including humasexuality.




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Interview here:  http://www.veganlogic.net/2014/11/morrissey-your-real-home-is-your-body.html

In other news, the former Mayor of St Helens, John Beirne has started a campaign to have Morrissey receive the Freedom of the City of Manchester. He apparently wrote to the leader of the Manchester Council, Richard Leese, who replied saying, "His previous band, the Smiths do hold a proud place in Manchester's popular music history, alongside many other great names. We are however not currently preparing to honour him in any way." Oh Manchester, SO much to answer for! They just don't realise what they have. It was the same with Wilde.... although not in Manchester, obviously!

MORRISSEY RECEIVES THE KEY TO THE CITY OF TEL AVIV.... BUT MANCHESTER ARE "NOT CURRENTLY PREPARING TO HONOUR HIM IN ANY WAY"

http://www.petitionhub.org/Petition-for-Steven-Patrick-Morrissey-to-be-given-the-Key-to-the-City-of-Manchester-t-754


And finally, tomorrow I get to go and see Morrissey in concert for the first time since January 2103.... nearly TWO YEARS AGO! I am so so excited, and I just can't hide it! I can't wait to hear all the new songs from World Peace is None of Your Business, but the icing on the cake would of course be Trouble Loves Me. Both my blue rose and inflatable red are ready to go, but I will be nowhere near the front, so an attempted delivery will have to wait until next time, next time.

*Goes off singing* Show me a barrel, and watch me scrape it, faced with the music as always I'll face it.


Day 1168 - Parody posted - Wednesday November 26th

I had a lovely long soak in the bath last night (Tuesday), and when I eventually emerged, I found that Broken had returned to The Arms, and had also posted the promised parody piece. I abandoned all thoughts of watching the Champions League match on telly, and got to work putting the piece together, which included me having to write a little bit of dialogue, which had been requested by OM:

Our Mozzer has requested via an email today that Rat included one very brief exchange of his own during the parody piece written by OM, myself, Russell and R. The exchange must be no more than three or four sentences long and must reference Justin Bieber. A shirtless pic of Justin Bieber must be posted immediately after this comment.

The piece has been received by Rat and will be amended and posted with images selected by OM himself.

Posted by Broken to Following The Mozziah at 25 November 2014 19:12


Although the parody piece was posted by Broken, the first segment had actually been posted two days earlier by Our Mozzer, but I had been put under strict instruction not to mention it:

Morrissey has left a new comment on your post "Day 1139 - Coincidentally":

Do not post or even hint at this piece's location until the remainder is posted...

'R'

Posted by Morrissey to Following The Mozziah at 23 November 2014 22:23


Here are Broken's tweets from last night. I have omitted all the Bieber tweets and photos!:

"Parody piece sent to Rat. It will soon be posted. Rat will include his own brief sentence within the parody."

"@TheRatsBack If it manages over 100 comments over 5 days, part 2 will follow." When I pointed out that there won't be a part 2, Broken replied, "There will. Play your cards right and FTM WILL BE ME blog."

"@TheRatsBack Don't forget: MW word is gospel. At first there was the word."

"@TheRatsBack finally MW is back... from a certain angle. It's not the funniest ever, but it's mesmerizing... utterly mesmeric."

"MorrisseysWorld always has about 30 followers, of which 12 are vocal. The names change, but the numbers stay the same."

I am now unable to post anything for five days, which means this entry will not be published until next Sunday at the earliest.

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Warsaw Packed - A Parody piece written by Our Mozzer, Broken, Russell, R and Rat




*Shakespeare's Sister is playing in Morrissey's hotel suite on a 1980s cassette player as Morrissey thumbs through 'Autobiography', Mikey sips Twinings Ceylon and Martin 'Boz' Boorer slaps his thigh rhythmically with a fulsome grin*




Morrissey: "C***."

Boz: *shakes his head tutting loudly*

Morrissey: Is something the matter Boz?

Boz: No, sir. I was just voicing my disquiet at the behaviour of the person in your autobiography, sir. I was just-

Morrissey: -Which person?

Boz: That one you're reading about, sire. You know, sir, the one you just called a cu-

Morrissey: -You'll never guess what he's done now, Boz...

Mikey: *elegantly brings the white polygonal Bone China cup towards his lips but does not sip*

Boz: What's he done now to hurt you, sir? What's he done now to prove he has no credibility, sir? What's he done now to prove what a good for nothing plonker he is, sire?

Morrissey: He's made yet another mistake in his judgment. Yet another...

Boz: The c***...

Mikey: *sips his tea and smiles sadly*

Morrissey: Well that's what I said, Boz. A first rate c***. A senile QC. A pile of uneaten sandwiches. A dreary establishment yes-man. The only man in England who thinks Joyce was an equal partner in the Smiths. The only man in England who thinks the unending shrug of Joyce's court testimony represented a compelling case that Old Mozzer stole and pocketed his cash... The b******d is about as noble as a syphilitic c***.

Boz: *nods energetically*

Mikey: You use the present tense, but he's dead now, isn't he, Morr-ee-say?

Morrissey: Who?

Mikey: ... Judge Weeks, Morr-ee-say.

Morrissey: Oh that c***.



Mikey: ... He certainly lacked taste, siding with the drummer, proving what a philistine he is... uhmm... was-

Morrissey: -Abso-bloody-lutely!

Boz: I had no idea he was from the middle east, Mikey.

Mikey: Pardon, Boz?

Boz: The poor fellow.... no wonder he looked so angry.... his home bulldozed by tanks.... children used as human shields.... bombs exploding all the time... the poor.... *rubbing his nose with a handkerchief* .... the poor fellow....

Morrissey: There aren't many bombs exploding in Yeovil, Boz.

Mikey: As for homes being bulldozed, one can't even install UPVC in some of those houses..

Morrissey: *titters, juts out his jaw*

Boz: I had no idea Yeovil was in Palestine, Mozzer. I thought it was in Wales.

Morrissey: *giggles, slaps his cheek, rolls his eyes*



Mikey: I must say you're taking that awful heckling rather well, Morr-ee-say...

Boz: awful heckling, absolutely awful, Mikey. I almost kicked that man in the chin with my steel toe caps in Warsaw, Mikey. What that man said about Mozzer-

Morrissey: -It wasn't that man, Boz.

Boz: I know, sir. I didn't mean that man, I meant the other man...

Morrissey: *nods*

Boz:... When he made those remarks about you, sire... I almost walked straight over and headbutted him.... I thought about diving into the audience and aiming my forehead at his nose, sire... I was furious... I was fuming.... what an evil thing to say, sir, what a very nasty and cruel and really unkind and horrible thing to say... what a stupid c*** he was to say that about you, sir.... a man who's given so much.... to refer to your past like he did, sir.... well, it was....

Mikey: Unforgiveable...

Morrissey: Quite so, Mikey. To refer to one's past is a crime when one's present is so much more fascinating.

Mikey: Terribly chauvinistic....

Morrissey: *looks puzzled, smirks*




Mikey: You look amused, Morr-ee-say. Is it something I said.... or didn't say?

Morrissey: Tricks of the trade, old son: enigmatic otherness factor. Of course that old nonsense about chauvinism was just a smokescreen. The only thing worse than being talked about is....

Boz: ... is being fat! *grins fulsomely*

Morrissey: *licks his lips*

Boz: I didn't mean you, sir. You're not fat, sir. Never have been, never will be, and even in 2009 you weren't that fat, sir, you were just well built, big boned.... you were-

Morrissey: -shut up, Martin.

Mikey: *strokes the back of his head*



Morrissey: No, no, no. Tricks of the trade, Mikey, old friend. You see, what we implied about chauvinism wasn't the real reason I went off stage. I was actually annoyed when some c*** demanded a Smiths song, instead of one from one's latest masterpiece... that was the real human atrocity that night... I was disappointed in the extreme... rather like when all those chaps popped out to use the loos during that one from Years of Refusal that sounded a bit like.... Swallow On My Neck...

Boz: Black Cloud, sir...

Morrissey: Yes, Boz. And of course there was that tremendous documentary about punk on cable... I almost cancelled when I read the TV guide that morning... but I pushed myself to appear... yet when someone asked for a Smiths song, I was pushed over the edge by my own fans - and not for the first time. I realised quite how absurd it is to give oneself to one's fans... who incidentally give nothing whatsoever to me in return.... when frankly I'd rather be in the old Jacuzzi with a bottle of Bolly and John Lydon on the plasma screen....

Mikey: ... But what we heard said, on youtube, Morr-ee-say... isn't that why you refused to play on?

Morrissey: *laughs, shakes his head*

Boz: *shakes his head furiously and laughs loudly*

Morrissey: *laughs* ... Ah, that was old Walter Ego. Those cruel, cruel words were orchestrated by Old Mozzer. When I give him the sign, he shouts abuse at me in a range of different disguises.... it's the old false flag operation, Mikey. 9/11 all over again. Walter Ego shouts abuse at me.... and this gives a certain iconic star the perfect window of opportunity to storm off stage.... plenty of free music press inches.... enigmatic otherness factor by the bucket-load.... moral authority in tact... and no more missed punk documentaries and episodes of Twin Peaks on the Horror Channel... Besides it's so much easier than ordering one's bassist to pretend to have highly infectious necrotising swine flu, or adult respiratory distress syndrome.

Mikey: Ingenious.

Morrissey: Extraordinary, I think you meant to say, Mikey.

Boz: Fascinating...

Morrissey: Poor choice of words, there, Boz. I think you'll find it was extraordinary and mesmerizing but not at all fascinating.... from a certain angle, old son...

Rat: Classic!

*Morrissey is startled to hear another voice in the room. He looks at Rat and then quickly turns turns to Boz*

Morrissey: What on earth is that? And what is it doing in here?

Boz: I have no idea sire.

Morrissey: Then ask it.

*Boz turns to Rat*

Boz: Who the f*** are you, and what the f*** are you doing in here?

Rat: I'm Morrissey's biggest fan. I won a 'Meet and Greet' competition on True-To-You in 2004, but Morrissey has never been available.

Morrissey: Boz, tell the pitiful creature that he's missed the expiry date, and get the dreary s*d out of here NOW. 

*Boz grabs hold of Rat and drags him to the door*

Rat: *shouting back to Morrissey* Justin Bieber would NEVER treat his fans this way. You're past it.... I'm through with you. You don't give two figs about any of your fans...... I don't suppose you would sign my chest?

*Boz throws Rat out and sits back down*



Boz: How was the documentary, sir?

Morrissey: Oh... it was awful. I switched it off. I almost wished I'd played on.... at least I don't have to pay to watch my fans watching me... the c***s at the hotel added £6 to one's bill for the pleasure of watching that piffling and poorly produced slice of pop history. It's an insult, actually. Then of course there will be refunds to pay out .. it's turned into a very expensive documentary. I wonder if I could sue the b******ds for financial damages...?

Mikey: The documentary makers will probably have a team of legal eagles, Morr-ee-say. If they still exist.

Morrissey: No, old son... I meant I wonder if I can sue my own fans... after all their turpitude and constant references to one's previous employment with the Smiths has been such a huge source of emotional distress for one and one's current utterly mesmeric band, is it any wonder one keeps traipsing off stage instead of playing on?

Mikey: *smiles thinly*



Morrissey... Had the c***s been a little more interested, of course... old Mozzer might have stayed around a little longer... and this financial disaster could have been averted. Still, refunds for the fans really are the way to go.

Boz: Absolutely, sire. It shows you care about your fans' wellbeing and finances...

Morrissey: Quite so, Boz. And of course most of the Poles can barely afford to eat without UK benefits, much less phone up a very expensive hotline to demand a refund or otherwise travel via bus or tram to a local ticket office... yes.... refunds are definitely the way to go... brownie points at v. little cost... it's not as easy as it looks, you know, this fame game...

Mikey: *sips his tea, raises an eyebrow*

Morrissey: I wonder if I should pop a little surprise in the set-list. How about that one from one's latest masterpiece that sounds a bit like Swallow On My Neck?

Boz: *proudly* Black Cloud

Morrissey: Martin, that's one's last masterpiece. You dreary lump of... *tails off, deep in thought, looking pensive*

Boz: Earth is the Loneliest Planet!

Morrissey: Yes, yes, yes.

Mikey: Would that really be a surprise?

Morrissey: *laughs*

Boz: *laughs too*

Morrissey: London - I can't wait.

Boz: Sir, how many times have you played Lon-

Morrissey: -I'll show the b*****ds at London. Something will happen. Something will occur.

Mikey: Is it time, Morr-ee-say?

Morrissey: Yes, Mikey. It's time, old friend. It's time.



Original text can be found in the comments section here: http://followingthemozziah.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/day-1139-coincidentally.html

Day 1167 - Home to Mama

Since Sunday's promise of a new parody, we have heard nothing from Our Mozzer. Perhaps it was just a tease, or maybe he plans to post the parody within the next few days; which due to the banning of me writing anything for 5 days, would stop me reporting on anything from either Antwerp or the London O2 concert. Hmm.

In the meantime, I have stumbled on a twitter account called @JeSuisMorrissey, where the user is clearly trying to pass himself/herself off as Moz. Interestingly, one of the other alleged fake Moz accounts, @AlfsButton, has picked up on this new imposter, so it will be interesting to see if @JeSuisMorrissey is forced to close down, just as @TheMozzer was suspended for impersonation.

From the Youtube footage I have seen, the concerts in Berlin and Essen were both incredible, and thankfully Trouble Loves Me returned in Essen.



I really really hope Trouble is played at the O2 on Saturday, although if it's not, I am fortunate to have seen/heard it sung live twice before, including at the London Forum in 1999, where it was followed by Lost. Now that was a night to remember.... but then again, they always are!


Now then, where's that parody?

TWITTERDILLY ARMS CHART (Please note the joint No.1 was due to last minute chart rigging by Astra)

1. TROUBLE LOVES ME (LIVE IN HELSINKI 2014) - MORRISSEY (UP 2): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlyKURsrJCQ

1. HOME TO MAMA - JUSTIN BIEBER, CODY SIMPSON & THE BELIEBERS (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6dWHNLNa5s&feature=youtu.be



2. SPEEDWAY (LIVE IN WARSAW 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1KJClzZP4Y&feature=youtu.be

3. SUEDEHEAD (LIVE IN KRAKÓW 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_GB4bIa1qM&feature=youtu.be

4. THE QUEEN IS DEAD (LIVE IN KRAKÓW 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7Uogtet-Vw

5. ONE OF OUR OWN (LIVE IN BERLIN 2014) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9duJVSLkAGY&list=UUs87pbmjgVfXBmWP7ErgCyg

6. TOUS LES GARCONS - FRANÇOISE HARDY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKbKUZFEyjI

7. SOLEIL - FRANÇOISE HARDY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AGBQj2Vo1c&feature=youtu.be

8. SHAKESPEARE'S SISTER (LIVE IN SALFORD 1986) - THE SMITHS (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZY8s97zuOM

9. EVERYDAY IS LIKE SUNDAY (LIVE IN HELSINKI 2014) - MORRISSEY (DOWN 8): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSpWK19XscQ

10. THE BULLFIGHTER DIES (LIVE IN HELSINKI 2014) - MORRISSEY (DOWN 8): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bVpSQ3THTQ

11. SHAKESPEARE'S SISTER (LIVE AT GLASTONBURY 2004) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xweZrroR3dE

12. WELL I WONDER - THE SMITHS (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oALoQQjqQuU

13. TROUBLE LOVES ME (NEW VIDEO) (RADIO SESSION 1997) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mek_qfjblqY

14. QUI EST IN, QUI EST OUT - SERGE GAINSBOURG (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sieGXAP2dCg

15. LES SUCETTES - SERGE GAINSBOURG & FRANCE GALL (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Nr0dUcrAU0

16. FOR ME FORMIDABLE - CHARLES AZNAVOUR (UP 3): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zy9AR-03faE

17. PERFIDIA - CAROLA (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8vP3XmC0go

18. MÄ TAHDON POJAN - CAROLA (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnrBLyZ_RFw

19. NIIN PALJON KUULUU RAKKAUTEEN - LAILA KINNUNEN (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0IQFc1zpY4

20. GUESS WHO I SAW IN PARIS - BUFFY ST MARIE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJT8WdiqrWw

21. THANK GOD IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS - SPARKS (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho_WsJK_MTg

22. LONDON (LIVE AT DRURY LANE) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmOGbja7dJw

23. PEARL OF A GIRL - KRISTEEN YOUNG (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_Nn1p1P7jg

24. DOWNTOWN - PETULA CLARK (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx06XNfDvk0




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