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Sunday, 28 February 2016

Day 1629 - A sign of crashing bores

Close your eyes and picture an imaginary back street called, Morrissey Row. Morrissey Row is a poorly lit road, away from the main drag of the town centre, and is home to a number of Morrissey theme pubs; three of which feature in this story.

The first of these pubs is a long established inn called, The Delve So-low, which is located in the heart of the street, and owned outright by a Chinese American named, David 'Kim Jong-un' Tslag. Tslag earned his 'Kim Jong-un' nickname due to both a facial likeness, and similar dictatorial ways to the North Korean leader. Tslag leaves the day-to-day running of the pub to a small group of volunteers, which include head barman, Uncle Skinny, or 'Prick' as he has nicknamed himself - which he often shortens to simply, 'P.'. The Delve So-low once boasted a thriving community, but in recent years it's popularity has declined, and it is now a place where there are regular brawls among the clientele - more often than not, started by the staff.

THE DELVE SO-LOW PUB IN MORRISSEY ROW

The second pub is a members only club called, The Wrong Arms. The Wrong Arms is home to a small co-operative known as the Blue Rose Society, whose members all wear a rose; which they believe is Morrissey's own personal flower of choice.

And lastly is a newly opened wine bar at the far end of the street called, Heifer Whines. This bar is away from the other pubs, and was purchased by it's three young owners; Kezza, MerryAnne and Bitchy Bob on impulse, having carried out no market research whatsoever to ascertain whether or not there was any demand for such a place.

Each of the three establishments is equipped with both a jukebox and a giant screen. The jukebox in The Delve So-low is stocked mainly with songs by the Smiths, and from Morrissey's solo career up until 1995 - there are no songs from the past 20 years. The jukebox in The Wrong Arms is full of anything and everything; excluding Dread Beerrun, Katy Porridge, Kanye Worst or any of the other non-entities currently masquerading as the populist, whilst the jukebox in the Heifer Whines mainly has songs by Morrissey from his solo career, including multiple copies of Action is my Middle Name and People Are the Same Everywhere.

When the Morrissey website, True-To-You, publishes anything, it is automatically transmitted onto the giant screen in each of the pubs. Our story begins just as such an occurrence has taken place. It is Saturday February 27 2016, and T-T-Y has just released an article entitled, The World Is Full of Crashing Bores, which consists of a video entitled, The Truth About Popular Music.




(Inside The Delve So-low)

UNCLE SKINNY: Oh look, here we go again, yet more bollocky old bollocks from the yesterday man.

POET: But you haven't even watched it yet, so how can you possibly make comment on the content of the video?

UNCLE SKINNY: I don't need to watch it, you Yankee twat, I already KNOW that it will be a load of  horse shite. Anything and everything that that man says, or associates himself with, is wanky fuck piss these days; including his so called musicians.

POET: Then why do you bother coming here?

UNCLE SKINNY: Because I'm waiting for him to reform the Smiths, you dozy dick drip. It's only a matter of time now. He is completely devoid of any new ideas, and will very soon crawl on his knees to plead with Johnny to reunite the greatest group there ever was, and I will be in the front row to see it. I know I'm right, and if you say otherwise, I will sue you. In fact, if you utter another word, I will sue you.



IRISH BLOOD: Well, if anyone's interested, the video is about how dumbed down the music industry has become, and it includes a mention of Morrissey and Marr, and how they once injected poetry and melodic genius into the pop charts.

UNCLE SKINNY: WHAT'S THAT? Morrissey has posted a video about him and Marr? It's a sign. It's a glaringly obvious sign. He hasn't mentioned Marr for years, and now he suddenly posts a video all about how good he was with Johnny. The reunion is ON I tell yer, it's ON!

POET: The video is hardly all about Morrissey and Ma-

UNCLE SKINNY: -SHUT UP, SHUT UP! No one wants to hear your bullshit, you pile of goat cum. You can expect a letter from my wife, I mean lawyer, first thing tomorrow.

(Meanwhile, over at The Wrong Arms, the regulars have just finished watching the video)

RAT: Well, well, well, would you believe it. I spend Wednesday, Thursday and Friday tweeting about how dreadful the record industry is, and now THIS! It's an obvious nod to me. I must write about this latest 'coincidence' on my mesmerizing blog, which Morrissey himself spends hours and hours reading. And look, Moz has even given it the heading, The World Is Full of Crashing Bores, which I just so happened to make Number 1 in the weekly chart I compile on my incredible blog. It couldn't BE more obvious - Morrissey is giving me a virtual wave.

(The other people in The Wrong Arms exchange glances with each other, and roll their eyes. There is silence for a while before eventually Comrade Herpes speaks.)

COMRADE HERPES: You might well be right, Rat, but my initial thought is that it is more likely a nod to MorrisseysWorld. Our Mozzer was always posting conspiracy theory pieces.

HEATHER CAT: Yes, I agree, Comrade. I'm not saying that you're wrong, Rat, but the video is by Paul Joseph Watson, who is an editor of Alex Jones' Infowars website. I'm pretty sure Our Mozzer used to follow Jones on Twitter. It would appear to me that by posting this video on TTY, Morrissey is once again proving that he was involved with MorrisseysWorld.

RAT: Yes, I agree with you two, it's a definite nod to both FTM and MorrisseysWorld... but probably mainly FTM. Let's not ever forget that toothbrush mention in Long Island.

CHUCK: (muttering so that Rat can't hear, but the others can) How could we?

(Everyone sniggers)

RAT: What's that you said?

CHUCK: I said, er, er, how could he? How could Moz do that?

RAT: Do what?

CHUCK: Oh, er, um, ignore me, I'm just a silly fruit.

RAT: Why exactly do you dress up as a fruit? Everyone knows who you are.

CHUCK: I've gotten used to it. I like the feel of the peel against my skin.

RAT: You're weird!

CHUCK: Thank you.



(Meantime, down at the Heifer Whines, the three owners are sat around, hoping that some customers may appear. Kezza has just finished watching the video)

KEZZA: O... M... G! I don't believe what I have just seen.

MERRYANNE: I missed it, what was it?

KEZZA: It was a video from TTY HQ.

MERRYANNE: Oh, what drama. I'm not sure I can cope. What was in the video? Did it have kittens in it?

KEZZA: No, no kittens, but-

MERRYANNE: -That's a shame, what about adult cats?

KEZZA: No, there were no kittens, no cats, no animals at all, but-

MERRYANNE: -No animals? What about cardigans?

KEZZA: No, there were no cardigans, no jackets, and no shirt tosses.

BITCHY BOB: It was another of those conspiracy videos.

MERRYANNE: I do wish Julia wouldn't post those, Morrissey will be dreadfully upset. It's making me feel sad just thinking about how sad Morrissey will now be feeling. I don't think I can go to work now.

KEZZA:  Forget the video, that's completely irrelevant, it's the heading that's important - it's a direct message to YOU, MerryAnne.

MERRYANNE: Oh, WHAT drama, I'm not sure I can cope. How does it relate to me?


KEZZA: Well, which of his songs did you write about yesterday on our utterly superb new blog, The real and proper world of real Morrissey?

BITCHY BOB: Just call it Trap Worm, that's what everyone else calls it.

MERRYANNE: Everyday is Like Sunday?

KEZZA: No, not that one, the other one you wrote about.

MERRYANNE: Dial a cliché?

KEZZA: No, the other one.

MERRYANNE: Our Frank?

KEZZA: NO!

MERRYANNE: The End of the Family Line? We'll let You Know? Seasick, Yet Still Docked?

KEZZA: NO, NO, NO! The World is Full of Crashing Bores! You wrote about it yesterday, remember?

BITCHY BOB: We all wrote about LOTS of songs.

KEZZA: Yes, but MerryAnne just so happened to write about Crashing Bores, and then the following day, Morrissey posts on TTY using the EXACT same title. It's IN-CRED-IBLE. Everything Moz does these days is either a nod to me or a nod to MerryAnne... usually me... but this time it's YOUR turn, MerryAnne.

MERRYANNE: Oh, God. I don't think I can cope! WHAT drama.

(Bitchy Bob looks to the heavens, opens his fourth bag of crisps of the day, and returns to reading his copy of Big Nuts Monthly magazine. Just then the door opens, and a small Scottish woman walks in. )


JINKLES: Och, this looks like a nice bar. Are you three the BRS?

KEZZA: The Blue Rose Society? No we're fucking not! We don't want anything to do with those wankers. We're the SBR.

BITCHY BOB: I thought we were the RBS?

KEZZA: S-B-R! *Tuts*

JINKLES: Can I join?

KEZZA: Not just anyone can join the Society of the Blue Rose. To join, you have to really love Moz.

JINKLES: I do!

KEZZA: Oh, yeah? How much?

JINKLES: A lot!

KEZZA: Okay, you're in. But there's to be no mention of conspiracy theories, it's just kittens, cardigans and shirt tosses for the RBS.

JINKLES: I thought you said you were the SBR?

KEZZA: Yes, SBR, that's it. I never was any good at spelling.

(Just then, Morrissey runs down Morrissey Row, past all the Morrissey theme pubs. The inhabitants of the pubs all see Morrissey, and they spill out into the road, to look for him. A blue rose lays (or is it lies, I never can remember) in the middle of the street. Rat picks it up and holds it aloft)

RAT: A SIGN! A SIGN! Morrissey is running away from all the utter pointlessness and uselessness of it all, and he has left us a blue rose as a sign to stick with him. Follow me and the sign of the blue rose. Let us follow the Mozziah.

UNCLE SKINNY: Shut the fuck up, numb nuts, you must have put that rose there earlier, when no one was watching. Morrissey is looking for Marr, and is running towards a new record deal with the Smiths. We must follow Morrissey as he puts the band back together.

(Kezza then snatches the blue rose away from Rat)

KEZZA: The blue rose has been left for ME. Morrissey is telling us that he wants the RBS-

BITCHY BOB: -SBR.

KEZZA: -That he wants the SBR and TRAP WORM to be the new home for his real and proper fans to meet. He has shut down the MorrisseysWorld chatroom, and now wants all of us true and proper fans to get off of our backsides, or rather, stay on our backsides, and follow him to TRAP WORM.

CHUCK: You can't say off of, it's just off.

KEZZA: What?

CHUCK: Sorry, I don't mean to split hairs, but I noticed that you'd written it a couple of times in your piece about favourite songs from albums. You just can't do it.

(Kezza turns to MerryAnne)

KEZZA: I thought you'd checked that article for spelling and grammar.

MERRYANNE: I did, but I didn't want to upset you.

(Whilst the two members of the SBR argue about grammar, the rest of the Morrissey fans head to the hills, looking for Morrissey)


Tuesday, 23 February 2016

Day 1624 - Nothingness

My twitter timeline over the past few days has never been so empty. The Wrong Arms has been abandoned.

THE WRONG ARMS CHART (Not broadcast)

1. THE WORLD IS FULL OF CRASHING BORES (LIVE IN LONDON 2015) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY)

2. SING YOUR LIFE - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY)

3. PERSONALITY CRISIS (LIVE ON BURT SUGARMAN'S THE MIDNIGHT SPECIAL 1973) - NEW YORK DOLLS (NEW ENTRY)

4. MY LOVE LIFE - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY)

5. TO SIR WITH LOVE - LULU (RE-ENTRY)



6. TOMORROW - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY)

7. STOP ME IF YOU THINK YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE - THE SMITHS (RE-ENTRY)


8. ON THE STREETS I RAN (LIVE IN SCOTLAND 2006) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY)

9. PRETTY THING - BO DIDDLEY (NEW ENTRY)




10. NEVER MARRY A RAILROAD MAN - SHOCKING BLUE (RE-ENTRY)


MARISKA VERES - SHOCKING BLUE

11. SOMEBODY TO LOVE (LIVE ON AMERICAN BANDSTAND 1967) - JEFFERSON AIRPLANE


GRACE SLICK - JEFFERSON AIRPLANE



12. SAFE WARM LANCASHIRE HOME - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY)



13. ASK (LIVE IN FINLAND 2015) - LAURA BEGLEY (NEW ENTRY)

Saturday, 20 February 2016

Day 1621 - Fact of the Fiction

It has been a funny old few days in the world of the BRS, with two of the most active members, MerryAnne and Kerry the Cocktail, deciding to leave; stating that they wish to go in a, "different direction" - although what direction this is, God only knows.... not that there is a God of course, it is just a turn of phrase. Perhaps 'Moz only knows' should be adopted instead.

MOZ - ONLY HE KNOWS

The reasons given by MerryAnne and Kezza for removing themselves as both moderators and contributors from the BRS blog, The World of Moz, and thus "revoking association" are:

1) Not feeling "comfortable" with comrade herpes writing about the illuminati - even though both MorrisseysWorld AND TTY have previously posted on the subject and

2) Not liking me writing about Morrissey's spat with Supreme - even though that wasn't actually posted on TWOM, as I am not a contributor.

It all seems a little flimsy and pedantic to me, but MerryAnne and Kezza are certainly not the first to leave the BRS, and no doubt they won't be the last. I for one wish them well, and thank them for their previous contributions... even though every article/review that they ever wrote for the BRS, they have now deleted from TWOM!


KEZZA PICTURED WITH A BLUE ROSE AT HAMMERSMITH



MERRYANNE (RIGHT) WITH A BLUE ROSE IN VEGAS - NOW GONE IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION

I had presumed that the deletion of all of MerryAnne's and Kezza's articles from TWOM, would have meant that all the comments would be lost too; which included Astra's beautiful words, and some anonymous comments which, a number of people believe may have come from the hand of Moz. Luckily, the comments have remained in the admin part of the blogsite, and Chucky Orange has today reposted the comments as a new article on TWOM. I hadn't previously seen the anonymous comments, posted last August, but I have to say, they certainly read as though they might well have been written by Morrissey. It is the written equivalent of seeing a piece of street art that may, or may not be, the work of Banksy.


A POSSIBLE BANKSY THAT I RECENTLY CAME ACROSS IN MY HOME TOWN, ON THE WALL OF A DERELICT AND ABANDONED ART DECO HOTEL

Just in case the TWOM blog one day self combusts, here are the anonymous comments in question:

20/7/2015 -

"I am the patron saint of lost causes. The purveyor of maladies. The conflicted court marshal (sic) of hope. Moving between different states appears to be a talent many humans possess however only a select few of them can achieve the required results. Well, what are the required results? Can you acquire the mental faculties to summon the answers for yourself or must I spell everything out? Liquid becomes slabs of concrete in the presence of the suffering masses. Nourishment of mental thought is lacking throughout the human condition. The ability to present oneself in many different guises is the only way you can hope to survive in the world. If you scrape beneath the mud, dirt and grime of the Id, ego, and superego you find only a shell on a man. This shell must, in whatever way possible, build up a front of character to bypass the hazards and suffering of existence. Traits from characters in literature, cinema, music, and even friends if you burden yourself with such commitment, must be taken, consumed, and adapted to provide an ‘original’.

Of course such images are everywhere and there is much to choose from. Mobile’s (sic) bring us closer together but also further apart. Whereas before you had the excitement of the written word on paper in the form of a letter, now you have impersonal type fonts and instant messaging. Send a message and you can immediately see if it has been read and ignored. With the letter you could potentially wait weeks for a response, baited breath and tightened trousers. The world of instant communication is a distraction, it tricks us into thinking that we have ‘friends’ but really we only have screens. Whilst one message is sent on one platform, another is soon sent on another. The time where discoveries of art could be made is now taken up with messaging and television. We live in hope of a technological disaster. The primitive state has never and will never be bettered. "



12/8/2015 - A question was asked as follows: In The Decay of Lying, Wilde said, “Thinking is the most unhealthy thing in the world, and people die of it just as they die of any disease. Fortunately, in England at any rate, thought is not catching.” Do you believe thinking (or overthinking) can possibly be an unhealthy tendency?

And here is the reply from Anon:

"Oscar always speaks sense and it is to Oscar I find myself returning to time after time. Although one must disagree with him on one point; “thought it not catching” is quite clearly a ridiculous statement in regards to England as in England nobody ever thinks so there can be no data on whether it is catching or not. The same opinions are repeated in newspapers, on television, on radio but with different words or perhaps a different style of speaking. The window of discussion in England has become so narrow, opaque, and dull that soon only one opinion will be able to be viewed, much like staring at the same view every day for the rest of your life. Anyone with a difference of opinion will be viewed as a crank, an idiot, or even worse, mental. Indeed if anyone ever managed to conjure a unique thought then they would become so shocked they would decompose into mush in the very spot in which they were standing.

I find that thinking or overthinking is an overtly personal affair. How many bedsit poets are there? How many box-room philosophers? We will, of course, never know. Those who are capable of thinking will never voice the true thoughts in their heads. They will suffer and probably plunge into a deep depression in the belief that they are outsiders and that the world doesn’t want or indeed need them. They don’t know, for how could they?, that it is the outsiders who make the world. I should know. Back in 1981, before the internet and before Tony Blair, I was an unknown freak. Today I am an icon. Why? Because I dared to say something different. In a world of grey, I was a spec of orange.

Thinking can be totally and incongruously ruin-able. A disease if you would. For to sit for days, weeks, months, and possibly years with your own thoughts, never to be able to articulate them is ruinous. That can kill the spirit. But we must plough on. It’s either isolation and our thoughts or the dumbing down of our minds thanks to television or the internet."



14/08/2015 - A question was asked as follows: You published your autobiography in 2013, and recently stated that you've finished your novel. When it comes to your literary choices regarding genre, do you prefer fictional or non-fictional books? Is a story more touching and relevant when/because it really happened, or are these unrelated subjects?

Here is the reply from Anon. The first line of the reply is INCREDIBLE, bearing in mind it was written well BEFORE anyone had set eye on List of the Loss - it is 'fact of the fiction', a phrase used by Morrissey on the back cover of LotL:

"Sometimes the fiction of a story is actually the author’s true thoughts and experiences so should not be labelled fiction at all. Most non-fiction can bore the knickers off of a nun. We are told not to judge books by their covers although you are allowed to do so with musicians! How many more records would I have sold if people would dare scrape behind the public image?

I find that most non-fiction authors are emotionally detached from their subject matter; one could read a book about the genocide in Rwanda and feel absolutely nothing. Then there are books such as The diaries of Kenneth Williams which produce tears from the very first passage, a shovel to the head. ‘Britishness’ died when he snuffed it. "

KENNETH WILLIAMS - THE LAST BASTION OF BRITISHNESS

Embedded image permalink
LIST OF THE LOST - RELEASED SEPT 24 2015

14/08/2015 - A question was asked as follows: Would you consider marrying me in an ancient occult blood sharing ritual in a graveyard at midnight during a full moon?

Anon's reply:

"It’s already happened. Can you not remember? I shall not expect an anniversary gift then. Unloveable forever."

23/09/2015 -

"Beauty masks the ugly and ugly masks the beauty. Who has it in them to be unmasked? Starts feel like endings and endings feel like starts. Who has it in them to end a start? Art becomes distasteful but then distasteful itself becomes art. Who finds art distasteful? Life is death and death is life. Each second matters to no-one but ourselves. Selfishness accelerates at such a speed that whiplash is to be expected if the speed is to (sic) slow. My life has been given to art and yet art wants nothing to do with my life. Managers manage nothing but self-loathing. Artists must manage themselves but self-loathing in artists happens long before the management process. We spend each day processing smells, processing sights, processing faces but we do not process feelings. True feelings do not exist in real life. The only true feeling we have is the emotion that is a response to the singing voice. The singing voice can produce feelings of sadness, happiness, nothingness, loneliness etc.
The singing voice is all we have. The singing voice is all I have.

Yours unretired,
Nobody’s nothing"

"THE SINGING VOICE IS ALL I HAVE"

There are other questions and answers from August 2015, which can still be found on TWOM, but just in case of that self combustion, here they are:

1) Do you think if you were a woman, you would have less, equal, or more success as an internationally known recording artist?


"You ask this question like I’ve had any success at all! You must only look at the radio ‘playlists’ to realise what a male orientated world the music industry is. To find a female artist on playlists of radio stations such as XFM is like trying to find a hit from Johnny Marr’s solo albums. You have to ask yourself what it takes to become a successful female recording artist. If it was brains and intellect then Patti Smith would have been number one for several decades. If it is the voice then it would be Joni Mitchell. If it is politics then it would Buffy. But of course none of these things matter. The thing that sells with female recording artists is, unfortunately still, sex. Those who wear the least clothes will sell the most. Driven and managed by sex mad, chauvinistic, male record label bosses, singers are forced to perform erotically in each video they make to the satisfaction of these bosses who presumably watch this videos to excite themselves when their wives have left them.

To answer your questions, I would have had no success at all because I would have refused to play that game. Some things are worth more than success and money. I would still have my integrity as I clean the spillages in aisle four. "

THE FEMALE MOZ PLAYING DEATH OF A DISCO DANCER DURING A BREAK FROM ONE OF HER CLEANING JOBS

2) If you were granted 3 wishes: one for yourself, one for the world, and a bonus wish, what would you wish for?

Three wishes for myself because lets face it the world does not want my wishes or deserve them.

1) That I never set eyes on Mike Joyce and that we hired Boy George to drum for The Smiths. They probably have the same ability. 
2) To have a 5 album record deal. I know I said these wishes for myself but really this is a wish for the whole world.
3) To retire to Blackburn with three dogs and Mike Joyce’s head on the wall. 
4) For Boz to be recognised as the musical talent he is. 

3) What is your preferred method of communication these days?

Carrier pigeon or the singing voice. Failing that? Telepathy

The method of "carrier pigeon" as a means of communication was also mentioned by Alfs Button in a twitter session on September 14 2015, as documented on Day 1105 of FTM - Alf referred to himself as Jack Duckworth.

JACK DUCKWORTH

In other news, Supreme have started selling t-shirts and posters featuring that 'needed by nobody' photo, and already the t-shirts are selling for incredibly overinflated prices on ebay; not, it would seem, because it features Morrissey, but because new Supreme releases are apparently VERY collectable. A video has appeared on Youtube of people queuing outside Supreme in New York on the first day of release, which features some of them being asked what they know about Morrissey. In the main, the answer is not a lot (although one very sweet lad tells how I Know It's Over makes him cry), but I guess they will know more now.

Our Mozzer made a flying visit to The Wrong Arms at 7.45pm (UK time) last night to make a comment regarding the Supreme video:

"@TheRatsBack @EmilyeOberg these people may not have heard of me but they know more about me than most".




NOBODY KNOWS ME


The only other sign of OM this week was on Wednesday at 10am (UK time), when he simply posted, "Typos are the bane on my existence", which I presume was in response to his mistyping of Martha on Tuesday.



And finally, my twitter timeline has today been filled by Mancunians wishing the nauseating Tony Wilson a happy 66th birthday, which is rather bizarre as he died nine years ago! He never saw 58, let alone 66. Sidney Poitier is 89 today.... and is alive to blow out the candles.

*Goes off singing* Those schoolgirl days, of telling tales, and biting nails are gone

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

Day 1617 - Hairstory Supreme

At 6.30pm (UK time) yesterday evening, the Number 1 Morrissey themed backstreet Internet pub, The Wrong Arms, was treated to a visit by the delectable Mademoiselle Fifi.


Fifi made straight for the jukebox, and selected 6 plays for 50p. Her choices were: Like I've Never Been Gone by Billy Fury, You're The Reason I'm Living by Elvis Presley, The Girl From Ipanema by Dionne Warwick & Sacha Distel, Ces Mots Stupidesi by Sacha Distel & Johanna Shimkus, Le Premier Bonheur Du Jour by Françoise Hardy & Sacha Distel, and finally Il y a Deux Filles en Moi by Sylvie Vartan & Françoise Hardy; to which Mlle Fifi added the comment, "I am two people." I replied, "Just two?", to which Fifi responded, "Oui, but there's a crowd in my head."

I had never heard the Presley song before; which I really like, and had also never heard of Johanna Shimkus; who I now have learned is a former actress married to Sidney Poitier for the past 40 years.

JOHANNA SHIMKUS

I asked Mlle Fifi what she thought to the new pub name, to which she replied, "I couldn't have found a better name myself". And then she was gone.

Fifi's visit was shortly followed by another TTY posting regarding Morrissey's ongoing spat with Supreme that I wrote about in my last blog entry. Here is the latest statement:

Supreme, yet not

As a matter of fact, I do not have, do not want, nor do I need, any money from the company called Supreme.

If Supreme have sent money in my name then they could track it down and reclaim it - if they had NOT printed that photograph of me for their 2016 campaign.

By running prints of the photograph they have derailed their own negotiations. This is why they are angry.

The photograph is dreadful and will help neither myself nor Supreme. Who needs it? Nobody.

Supreme were warned by my lawyer and accountant that the photograph should NOT be used. Supreme ignored this advice. Hence this mess.

I write these statements because there is no one else to write them. The joy I receive from such statements is non-existent.

thank you,
Morrissey
15 February 2016.


THE SUPREME PHOTO - NEEDED BY NOBODY... ALTHOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT, I QUITE FANCY THE T-SHIRT

In my last blog entry, I wrote of my confusion over Morrissey's public battle with Supreme, and even wondered if it was all a bit of media fakery. Morrissey's latest TTY statement leaves me in little doubt that Moz and Supreme have genuinely had a major fall out, and I have come up with my own version of possible events - which are, of course, purely speculative:

JULY 2015 - Supreme approach Morrissey and ask if he would be interested in featuring in their Spring/Summer 2016 range of clothing. Morrissey, who doesn't really know anything about Supreme; apart from the fact that Lou Reed previously modelled for them, agrees to feature, and informs Supreme that his fee for a two hour photo shoot plus the use of his image is X, or rather £XX,XXX. Supreme agree to the fee, and send a contract to Morrissey's lawyer. Supreme also contact photographer, Terry Richardson, to arrange for him to photograph Moz. Morrissey contacts his accountants and tells them to invoice Supreme for £XX,XXX, which they do, and Supreme's accounts department promptly make a payment to the accountant.

OCTOBER 2015 - Morrissey attends a photo shoot with Terry Richardson, but Morrissey's longtime aide and coiffeur, Damon Anacreonte is for some reason not in tow.


DAMON 'KEVIN PHILLIPS' ANACREONTE - 'IN TOW' IN QUITO NOV 2015

NOVEMBER 16-20 2015 - Supreme send Morrissey a copy of the photo that they intend to use and ask for his approval. Morrissey is horrified by the photo, which has him with flat hair. He emails Supreme to tell them that he looks dreadful, and that under no circumstances does he want them to use it. Supreme respond by sending Morrissey another image, which he also promptly rejects. Supreme then send over more images and ask Morrissey to choose one. Morrissey rejects them all, and instead sends them an image taken by another photographer, which he is happy for them to use. The photo in question has Morrissey's hair with much more life.

MORRISSEY BY SAM ESTY RAYNER

NOVEMBER 23-26 2015 - Supreme contact Morrissey to say that they cannot use the image that he has sent them, as they have a longtime working relationship with Terry Richardson and want to carry on using him. Supreme offer to do a re-shoot at their expense. Morrissey explains that he is currently on a tour of South America, and so a re-shoot is not possible. Supreme ask for their money back. Morrissey responds by saying that he has sent them a perfectly useable photo to use and he posts it on his T-T-Y website.

NOVEMBER 26-28 2015 - The appearance of Morrissey in a Supreme t-shirt brings outrage from his fans on the internet because of Supreme's recent line of clothing featuring American burger chain, White Castle.

NOVEMBER 29 2015 - Morrissey contacts Supreme and tells them that he has learnt that they are heavily associated with a burger chain, and that he is therefore terminating the agreement forthwith. Supreme again ask for their money back. Morrissey's accountant contacts Supreme and tells them that as Morrissey has given two hours of his time to Supreme, he is entitled to keep part of the fee.

DECEMBER 2105 - EARLY FEBRUARY 2016 - Negotiations continue between Supreme and Morrissey's accountant as to how much money should be returned. Supreme don't accept any proposal put forward, and state that they intend to use one of the Richardson photographs in their campaign. Morrissey's accountant and lawyer warn Supreme that the photo should NOT be used.

FEBRUARY 12 2016 - Supreme ignore all warnings not to use Morrissey's image, and start displaying posters of the Morrissey photo in cities all over the world.



FEBRUARY 13 2016 - Morrissey issues a statement on his T-T-Y website apologizing for his enfeebled photograph and stating that Supreme were warned not to use it. Supreme respond by posting a statement on their Facebook page suggesting that they had no other viable options other than to publish the images.

FEBRUARY 15 2016 - Morrissey issues a further statement on T-T-Y stating that if Supreme had NOT printed the photograph, then they could have reclaimed the money, but by running the prints, they had derailed their own negotiations.

So, there we have it. A poor hair day ended up leading to a supreme fall-out.

Our Mozzer has also made a number of appearances in The Arms over the past few days. Here are his offerings:

Sunday Feb 14
11.42pm: "In the writer swells uncountable worlds"

Monday Feb 15
10.53pm: "Disassociate"

11.35pm: In response to a photo tweet (originally posted by @sophwilkinson) that I retweeted, depicting a billboard in East London where 'Moz Supreme' posters had been ripped down: "You can always count on Brand for something".


AN EAST LONDON BILLBOARD - BEFORE AND....


... AFTER

11.38pm: "Kanye West is the greatest living troll. Although he appears to not know it."

Tuesday Feb 16
10.24am: "Handsome and retweetable"

3.30pm: In response to @heathercat222 asking if handsome and retweetable are the only things to be in 2016: "Am I repeating myself ? Am I such a bore? I don't realise I had turned into @piersmorgan"

8.16pm: "Lady Gaga turns Bowie into a caricature" (Ed - this was in response to Gaga dressing as Bowie and performing his songs at yesterday's Grammys)



8.18pm: "@BoyGeorge would you be open to a duet? Dancing in the street? I'll be Jagger and you can be Matha (sic)"


THE WRONG ARMS CHART - NOT BROADCAST

1. SHAME IS THE NAME - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZoORfD_1Vw

2. I AM TWO PEOPLE - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFlc9q6AHX4

3. IL Y A DEUX FILLES EN MOI - SYLVIE VARTAN & FRANÇOISE HARDY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGtj3SHIikQ

4. YOU'RE THE REASON I'M LIVING - ELVIS PRESLEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siYnR56hWKw

5. THE GIRL FROM IPANEMA - DIONNE WARWICK & SACHA DISTEL (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRIxByKzIJE

6. LIKE I'VE NEVER BEEN GONE - BILLY FURY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ8-cQ6lEaY

7. LE PREMIER BONHEUR DU JOUR - FRANÇOISE HARDY & SACHA DISTEL (NEW ENTRY):  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4JnfDg8Nrs

8. CES MOTS STUPIDESI - SACHA DISTEL & JOHANNA SHIMKUS (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zr-ERyTWKx8



9. SPEEDWAY (LIVE IN HOLLYWOOD 2013) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioefcU8Pk7g&feature=youtu.be

10. THE YOUNGEST WAS THE MOST LOVED (LIVE ON LATER WITH JOOLS HOLLAND 2006) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kR5txeafe54&feature=youtu.be

11. I'D LOVE TO - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EDttFUX1oU



12. KISS ME A LOT - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxcPv85f2jk

13. TERRY - KIRSTY MACCOLL (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pivL4QdtiuM



14. ADORE (LIVE IN PARIS 2015) - SAVAGES (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqRtMHvi93s

15. LADY GRINNING SOUL (LIVE IN BRUSSELS 2014) - ANNA CALVI (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLE4YkUAFR8

16. WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? (LIVE ON VH1 1984) - THE SMITHS (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqlmPRo5_Jg

17. ALMA MATTERS (LIVE IN HOLLYWOOD 2013) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToWcitbV5bg




18. LOSING SLEEP (LIVE ON THE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW 2011) - EDWYN COLLINS FEATURING BOZ BOORER (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ni5DJEuuwr0

19. SUPREME - ROBBIE WILLIAMS (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULTtWUZhD9c



20. SK8TER BOI - AVRIL LAVIGNE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIy3n2b7V9k

Sunday, 14 February 2016

Day 1615 - Supremely amusing

Yesterday I wrote that it would soon be revealed that Terry Richardson was indeed the photographer who had taken the photograph of Morrissey that is currently being used in Supreme's Spring/Summer 2016 campaign, and we haven't had to wait long to get the official revelation; although it didn't exactly come in the manner any of us would have expected.

TERRY RICHARDSON - PICTURED HERE SHOOTING LADY GAGA FOR SUPREME IN 2010

There has been no, 'Supreme are very pleased to announce that their new collection will feature Morrissey, the man considered by many to be the greatest living lyricist in the world... blah blah blah... who has been photographed exclusively for Supreme by the world famous fashion and portrait photographer, Terry Richardson... blah blah blah, etc etc etc ', instead we have been informed via two statements that the relationship between Supreme and Morrissey has broken down before it has even begun. Are Supreme being run by Steve Barnett?


POSTER IN PIECES - PARIS

Just hours after posters of Morrissey wearing a Supreme t-shirt started appearing on streets all over the world, Morrissey issued the following statement on his True-To-You website:



Supreme then responded with a statement of their Facebook page:





The Supreme statement gave us that confirmation that the photograph had indeed been taken by Terry Richardson, but it was in complete conflict to Morrissey's version of events. The burning question is, 'which of the two statements is true?', or has there actually been no fall-out at all, and this is all just one big publicity stunt?

Morrissey's "excessive apologies for this association" is quite damning towards Supreme, and such a statement would suggest that Morrissey genuinely wishes that he wasn't being featured in the Supreme campaign, but interestingly Morrissey has NOT asked his fans to boycott Supreme, and in particular the soon to be released t-shirt featuring his "enfeebled photo". Morrissey also hasn't made any mention of taking out a court injunction to stop Supreme using his image. Would he not do that if he really felt that strongly?

Likewise, Supreme's statement that there was, "no other viable options" doesn't quite ring true. If Morrissey had been as obstructive as Supreme have stated, then would they really continue to use him in their new campaign? Would they really want to be associated with him in any way? Would they really want to give Morrissey such publicity? If I were the CEO of Supreme, I would rather use the image of a hag from the backstreets rather than Morrissey's. What is more, if Morrissey really refused to return the money, then WHY didn't Supreme sue him; especially as they would have been able to prove to a court that they had been more than reasonable with their other options.

The only common ground in the two otherwise conflicting statements, is that Morrissey offered to return the money and call the whole thing off, and Supreme offered to take back the money and call the whole thing off, and yet... Hmm.



One thing that I certainly don't agree with Morrissey over, is that the photo of him is either "enfeebled" or "fit only for a medical encyclopaedia" - Moz looks the picture of rude health. Morrissey's statement didn't explain if the enfeeblement and fitness were in relation to how he thought he looked, or to the quality of the photograph taken by El Tel. However, Our Mozzer appeared in The Wrong Arms (that's Twitter to you) yesterday evening at 8pm UK time, BEFORE either of the two announcements had been made, and he retweeted an old photo that I had posted of him and Terry, which would tend to suggest that he has no beef with El Tel.


PHOTO ORIGINALLY TWEETED BY TERRY RICHARDSON IN EARLY 2015, TWEETED BY ME YESTERDAY, AND SUBSEQUENTLY RETWEETED BY OUR MOZZER

Our Mozzer also tweeted, "Supremely amusing", which I took to mean that he was enjoying seeing photos of the posters all over social media. There was certainly no indication that Our Mozzer was annoyed by the campaign. OM also replied to a tweet that I had posted earlier in the day; which featured: a Youtube clip of the song Terry by Kirsty MacColl, a Supreme poster, and another Terry R photo featuring the word 'ROSE', by tweeting, "@TheRatsBack @Terry_World well it happens a lot round here."






Our Mozzer also tweeted: "My mind is a holiday destination" followed by, "My mind is a factory of death", which suggests that he is constantly battling with his own thoughts. Well, we know that!

It was at this stage that the TTY statement was posted, at which point OM returned to The Arms and tweeted, "Shame is the name". I asked Our Mozzer what had happened to "supremely amusing", to which he replied, "see how the outside contradicts what's inside...". I replied, "And certainly not the first time we've seen this, but which is the truth?", to which OM shrugged (if one can shrug via a tweet), and replied, "don't ask me, what do I know?"

page08
MORRISSEY IN GQ MAGAZINE 2014 - PHOTO BY TERRY RICHARDSON

When I later tweeted a copy of Supreme's statement, OM tweeted to me, "and that, I think, is supremely amusing". He didn't elaborate as to why he found it supremely amusing - perhaps OM had actually written the statement for them!

If Morrissey doesn't take out a court injunction to stop Supreme using his image, and if Supreme don't decide to scrap the campaign featuring a man who has publicly rubbished them, then the Morrissey t-shirts will go on sale on February 18th priced at 44 dollars.

Today at 1pm UK time, OM appeared again in The Arms to post, "Nobody owns art", and then at 2.22pm, he rather bizarrely replied to a tweet posted by @EdwynCollins from 14 MAY 2014, which read, "PS Morrissey is here on Twitter, fact, !!!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!! - Edwyn". OM's reply of today to this 21 month old tweet was, "no I'm bloody not".

WHAT was the point of this tweet of OM's? Was it merely a result of him having done a search of 'Morrissey twitter' and finding the tweet from the former lead singer of Scottish post-punk band, Orange Juice, or was it to show us that Collins KNOWS?

Collins's original tweet of May 2014 was obviously in relation to the long defunct, @ItsMorrissey twitter account, but perhaps Morrissey has recently let him know about the @BRSChairman account. In reply to OM's "no I'm bloody not" tweet, I posted a smiley face, and then rather oddly got a tweet from @EdwynCollins saying, "@TheRatsBack Re' Mozz? He's not on 'Twitter' it's a joke, SORRY - Edwyn." The most interesting thing about Collins's tweet; apart from the fact that it was rather random for him to tweet me at all, was that for some reason, he had untagged @BRSChairman - WHY? I have a feeling Collins knows, you know... but who knows?


EDWYN COLLINS - FRIEND OF BOZ BOORER

*Goes off singing* Guilt by implication, by association, I've always been true to you, in my own strange way, she laughed and said, "Shame is the name", she said, "Shame is the name".

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