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Saturday, 28 January 2017

Day 2062 - "F*** @Mozarmyquiz"

Yesterday was a busy day for old Mozzer, with the writing of a couple of new blog entries and - for the second time in a fortnight - he once again took part in Twitter's Friday night Moz Army quiz.... and once again failed to win it, which left him feeling cheated and livid.

More about that quiz performance later, but first we have been treated to another piece on the Slight Dawn Mist blog - a poetic short story. I am republishing it purely because previous blog pieces posted by Moz have disappeared, which is just criminal. I have added some pictures for those who are hard of hearing:

Friday, 27 January 2017
Tales from the Lighthouse

The lighthouse is powered by wind, light, and kind thoughts and needs no intervention from human hands.  A windmill attached to the tower spins, turns, and splutters continuously. The blades groan with the wind. I have learnt the rhythm of it well and my heart pounds when it pounds. I am part of the windmill as I am a part of the entire house.  My lighthouse dominates the landscape like artists dominate a cultural awakening.  The weather here never changes much like my feeble existence.  It always rains, it always rains, it always rains. A torrent of torment terrorised the sea and washed ashore the self-assured boys that have since been strewn around the lighthouse like gaudy decorations.  The rain always crashes, the sea always smashes, and sailors dash to my safe haven. Their ship crashed upon my rocks as I was dusting the archive that is my lighthouse. The sea takes prisoners and I have learnt its ways as I take mine.  There are no directions to point the way, the lighthouse does not exist on any map device, there are no neon signs lighting the way. The lighthouse, in theory, does not exist.  Despite this fact I have a plethora of visitors yearly.  However it has been countless weeks since I have seen the timber of a boat thump against the rocks.  The last skiff sailed off and never returned. The sea roused itself and the darkness calls out amongst the midst and calls me by name. The sea, infinity in scope, moves on to the next target as the four boys and gentleman leader waddled in water drenched clothes towards me.  They all appear to be experiencing a half-death and my heart bleeds at the obscurity of these shipwrecked messed souls for who will know what has happened to them?  Their vessel could not navigate the storm nor the treacherous reefs and hidden rocks that guard the entry to the lighthouse.

The Eddystone Lighthouse 1824 by Joseph Mallord William Turner 1775-1851

The debris that lands on the shore peaks my interests as it always does. I recognise long metal chains, longer than wisps of hair, tufts of disappointment.  A roughly hewn utility device sits atop masses of string and rope.  The ship has been spat out, resembling a broken skeleton, with the force at which you would spit out the bones of a masticated fish.  I moved gingerly and graciously outside to view the shipwrecked, for the mirror is often not enough. Strapping distractions all bar one, the leader of the gang of youths is older by generations and quirky beyond my belief.  Water washed and now land locked I lead the way inside, past the crag in which everyone always stumbles.  Petrov, the older gentleman and obvious leader, had the look of a man who would stab his own mother for failing to pour the correct quantity of vodka into his glass. I fear for my safety as I have no vodka to speak of.  The only spirit in this lighthouse is my eternal life.  The four boys did not speak and yet managed to articulate the belief that life is infection, decay and then death. Death appeared to be the only thing they had left to respect.  Petrov turned to me and spoke in an accent I believed to be Polish but could be from another planet entirely.

“At last we have reached a safe haven. This is a heaven amongst the water, the rocks, the ebb and flow of the tide.  The sea, Dawn, is a mysterious soul, sunken in mystery”.

I know a thing of two about sunken in mystery which is why I was startled to hear him call me by my first name as I had not introduced myself but I assumed my fame reached far and wide.

“Why do your boys not speak” I tentatively asked

“To hear them quiet is needed”

I needed no further explanation as I left Petrov to his own devices and I instead took my leave.  They know that streets turn into dead ends and end up as violence in a cul-de-sac.  Hours passed as the boys returned to a normal body temperature.  Petrov held court with stories that the boys had heard countless times before but remained transfixed to the leader.

As dawn mists turned to midnight darkness they gathered by the solitary chair each clutching a body part of the other as the lighthouse is colder than lonely hearts. They fell asleep as if kindling for a bonfire. I feel asleep standing up as is my custom. 
Image result for men asleep on floor 1940


The True Morrissey blog also published a new piece yesterday - another parody diary entry. Here it is:

27 January 2017

January 23rd-January 27th


I have been incapacitated for days now with the most painful of headaches.  I have not been as debilitated since I needed to cancel a tour rather sharpish. Sudden illness never fails as I have been saying since 1984.  Now I know you think you may also be blighted with headaches but may I remind you, for the umpteenth time, I am a seminal artiste and my headaches blight me like you would never believe. A seminal headache if you will.
Enigmatically disappeared from all online platforms.  Absence noticed by four people. Thank you and you will be honoured in a delightful way soon.  Spent time discussing future plans with Boz. He assures me he can play drums to an adequate standard.  Buoyed by this news I switched on the DVD player to watch ¡Oye Esteban! only to discover that some swine has replaced that masterpiece with The Cure: Trilogy.  Robert Smith looks disgusting and I nearly vomit on Boz.
Currently considering entering the weekly Friday Twotter quiz. ** How do these people know more about me than I do? Perhaps there is a conspiracy to stop old Mozza from winning the quiz. I suspect another Joyce plot.
** Actually why should I legitimise their quiz by even participating? None of them believe I am me.  B*******
Image result for boz boorer drumming

Despite the last line of the parody diary, Morrissey did take part in the quiz, and took to Twitter just after 6pm to state:

"I shall be participating in the quiz this evening. As per my interview requests all questions must be emailed to me in advance."

This request was obviously ignored by the quiz host, Justin (@OneOclockGun).

Before starting the quiz, Justin set out the rules and the scoring system, i.e. 3 points for the first person to answer correctly, 2 for the second and 1 for the third. Morrissey (@SeminalArtiste) responded to this by tweeting:

"Lemon squeezy. 3 points for me.".... Now, I know what you're thinking, the real Morrissey would NEVER, EVER, EVER tweet, "lemon squeezy", but that goes to show how little YOU know.

Here are the quiz question and answers:

Q1. What 2 girls' names does the Boy Racer have on his windscreen in Dagenham Dave?

Mozzer answered: "Brenda and Phyllis" before following it up with, "but also Karen and Sharon."

His second answer was correct, and he picked up 1 point. He might have got all three if he had taken it a little more seriously to start with!

Q2. What car does the "teenage dad on his estate" drive?

Moz answered: "Jenson Interceptor" and picked up 3 points.
Image result for jensen interceptor

Q3. What was Morrissey's last UK Top 5 Single?

Morrissey answered: "You Have Killed Me." and picked up 2 points. He followed up his answer by adding,  "It would have been anything from World Peace if Harvest were not incompetent. Hashtag FuckHarvest".

Q4. Which Smiths single was released 30 years ago this week?

The answer was Shoplifters of the World Unite, but Morrissey scored 0 points.

Q5. Who shot Morrissey in 1992?

Moz answered: "Joyce", and then followed it up by answering: "@slightdawnmist". Dawn then replied to this tweet saying: "The best 'shot' I believe I have ever taken. hash tag Morrissey:shot".

The correct answer was Linder Sterling, and Our Mozzer was obviously trying to suggest that Dawn Mist is Linder, but I'm having none of it! 0 points.

Q6. At which open air music event in London was Morrissey criticised for waving a Union Jack?

Morrissey answered "Madstock" following it up with, "The NME had a field day of course". Unfortunately he was too slow with his reply, and scored 0 points.

Image result for morrissey madstock union

Q7. In the Smiths South Bank Show TV Documetary - which nations rugby shirt was Moz wearing?

The Seminal Artiste answered: Zimbabwe, but the correct answer was France. 0 points.

I thought that perhaps Morrissey had become bored with the quiz at this point, or perhaps he genuinely didn't remember which shirt he wore. Either way, he continued:

Q8. Which promo single has a T Rex inspired sleeve and label?

Morrissey answered: "Certain People I Know" and collected 1 point.

Q9. Which actor will play Morrissey in the new biopic?

Moz answered: "Jack Lowden" and scored 2 points.

Steven Poster
JACK LOWDEN AND LAURIE KYNASTON - MORRISSEY & MARR IN THE SOON TO BE RELEASED BIOPIC, STEVEN

Q10. What was The Smiths last UK single to be released...whilst they were still together as a band?

I'm not too sure what Moz answered to this, as he has now deleted his @SeminalArtiste Twitter account, but I presume it was Shoplifters of the World Unite. The correct answer was Sheila Take a Bow. Moz questioned the answer stating that it wasn't Sheila because "Johnny had mentally left by then."

Moz scored a total of 9 points and came a respectable third....respectable that is if you weren't taking part in a quiz all about yourself! The quiz was won by Andy B (@TonyMercheson), who obviously knows far more about Morrissey than Morrissey.
Straight after the quiz Morrissey started to complain, calling it "a fix" and shouting, "THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS". Our Mozzer added, "I am a seminal artiste! You shall be hearing from my lawyers", and then closed his account - Morrissey is NOT a good loser!
At 10.39pm, a new True Morrissey blog piece appeared entitled F*** @Mozarmyquiz. There were no other words.

Friday, 27 January 2017

Day 2061 - "I am He. Believe me."

I am pleased to report that the latest bout of death didn't last long for Our Mozzer and Dawn Mist. Dawny reappeared in The Wrong Arms late on Tuesday evening, whilst OM returned yesterday. Dawn has now even got a blog of here own, but more about that later.

It would seem that I have been forgiven for whatever it was that I did to upset OM, although he was quick to rap me across the knuckles on his return, tweeting:

"@TheRatsBack The chat will close if information is continually leaked. Please cease."

I pointed out that I report things because this whole thing is history in the making, to which OM replied:

"I shall write my own history. You will perhaps be a footnote on page 673."

Image result for morrissey writing

The fact that the chat room on the True Morrissey blog is a public forum seems to have passed OM by; although I guess he feels that not many people are likely to see what is written in the chat room, where as thousands of people read this blog of mine...or at least his band members and crew probably do. Whatever it is that I wrote that caused OM's parsnips to sour, I guess it has now all been sorted out.

And on the subject of the TM chat room, OM and Dawn had a conversation late on Tuesday evening which ended with OM saying, "Goodbye Damo... I mean Dawn." This could, of course, be a wind-up/tease, but I actually don't think so. I still believe that Dawn Mist is another of the characters/pessoas created by Morrissey, but I also reckon that Morrissey's close friend/constant companion/personal hairdresser/towel wafter, Damon 'Kevin Phillips' Anacreonte - or Damo as he is obviously known behind closed doors - sometimes uses the Dawn Mist twitter account and handle in the chat room. Damo quite possibly also tweets using OM's account, but this is all speculation on my part. Perhaps Monsieur Annebronte was responsible for the, er, not so well written pieces on the various blogs. I may be barking completely up the wrong tree, but I have a feeling in me bones.

[​IMG]
DAMON 'DAMO' 'KEVIN PHILLIPS' ANNEBRONTE


I mentioned the chat room 'Damo' reference to Dawn & OM last night in The Wrong Arms. Here is the reply plus the other edited highlights of the evening:

DAWN: I've been eagerly awaiting this. OM often alludes to things that are not true.

OM: Truth is wasted on the simple and lies are more interesting. And the simple are often wasted,

RAT: As are the gin swilling intelligent...

OM: All speculation will be put to rest soon. Before that however there is a new blog.

RAT: Don't just talk about it, publish the f****** thing. All 2 of your readers are currently here and waiting.

OM: You cannot rush a genius which is why you are constantly out of breath.

RAT: B****** C*** F*****

HEATHER: New blog or blog post?

OM: A new blog. My creative juices spread across the interweb. Twotter is dead boys.

RAT: So, where is this genius new blog?

OM: In the ether. Posts are written. It is not what you have come to expect.

RATS: You intrigue me...although it is probably a lie.

OM: I would hate to prove you correct. Dawn is in control of the new place of dreams.

DAWN: I will no doubt need reigning in.

OM: Alas I know this all to (sic) well

OM: Admin Guy has been fired.

RAT: Dawny, do you ever stick OM under one of these?
Image result

DAWN: He insists on luxury bamboo 750GSM towels only.

OM: I am not pinned down not stuck anywhere. I am a seminal artiste and I will be treated as such.

RAT: Ooo, get you! I'm only trying to find out how you have your barnet dried.

OM: For what purpose? You do not need to dry your head. The water simply slides off.

DAWN: Who was that directed to? Me or Rat?

And then Dawn published the new blog - SlightDawnMist.blogspot.com

Here is the first entry:

Dawn Mist
Welcome to the lighthouse

Thursday, 26 January 2017
Introduction: Who is Dawn Mist?

A slight dawn mist this way came and this way stayed. Blowing into life like disease into poverty. Incapable of impure thoughts and pure to the very last drop, she bows at those less fortunate than herself and praises those who live life in other realms. Desks of clutter in the lighthouse full of muster. A cluster of undeveloped ideas and archives devoid of space. In the creation of thoughts she is the spark amongst the damp, the light amongst the pitch black darkness of reality. Real me and reel me. Feel me and thrill me. Dawn, unborn and fawning, interested and yet still yawning.


In the lighthouse retrograde dreams fade and explosions of myth erupt from nowhere. Mythic forces collide with twisted logic and Dawn silently becomes.  The beauty of archaic childhood morphs into childlike adulthood. We never truly leave the past and yet Dawn has no past to leave. Created in flashes of ashes in a dark midnight storm, born but never conceived.  Living in isolation she learns the complex nature of man. Analysing and criticising and pointing the way forward. Pointing to a new dawn.  Spurts of creative energy engulf her and taste almost like sulphur.  Playing dumb does not interest her. She is the fountain of all knowledge and this we know to be true. It appears as if all knowledge came from her. An awakening so awe inspiring that steel structures crumble into rubble. The trees of life bow to her as she glides her merry way past.


Grey haired, long haired and loose grip, never laughing at countless sinking ships.  Intriguing sailors with her standoffish glance and unfathomable face. Sailors who are sober become imbibed and those who are drowning their livers with countless treats become stone cold sober at her approach. Her lighthouse is the beacon for the troubled and the lost. We are all lost until we have touched the hem of Dawn’s dress. To be in her presence is to be in the presence of an ageless beauty. The lighthouse lights the way for those who are willing to be led astray. To be led astray is to be led to awareness.


The slight dawn mist is a heavenly and careless breeze.

I would suggest that it was Morrissey who wrote these dreamy words, and NOT the hairdresser!
Image result for morrissey writing
MORRISSEY - WRITER OF DREAMY WORDS

There have been two further entries on the Dawn Mist blog, both pictures:






Virginia Woof's To The Lighthouse could well be Morrissey's influence for Dawn's character and the whole lighthouse thingy. It goes without saying that I have never read To The Lighthouse, but a quick google tells me that themes of the book include subjectivity, the nature of art, the problem of perception, poets, writers, artists etc, so it is right up Mozzer's alley. No doubt it will now instantly be acclaimed by MerryAnne as her favourite book of all time...

THERAPY RAT: Stop it Rat...no need, you're better than that.

RAT: No I'm not.

THERAPY RAT: Fair enough. Get on with writing your blog then.

RAT: I haven't stopped writing it, and now you're in it!

THERAPY RAT: Who, little old me? Ooh, nice. Does my hair look ok?

RAT: Twat! If you think I'm paying for this session, you've got another think coming.


And finally Esther, and finally Cyril, it would appear that someone new has stumbled upon our little world; although as ever, my natural first thought is to presume that it is one of the old guard in a different guise, but I hope I'm wrong. A comment was left on the last FTM entry by somebody calling themselves Aimee Twist, who has subsequently joined us in The Wrong Arms as @twistedshaimee. Aimee is finding this all rather confusing; which is quite understandable, and tweeted to me yesterday to ask, "I thought you said that Seminal Artist was Morrissey? Less than 300 followers? Surely Morrissey would attract more."
I replied, "You'd have thought so, but this is 2017, and not 1984. Did you listen to World Peace? : )" Oh, I do make myself laugh at times.

Aimee then asked, "Who is Slight Dawn, a BRS member?" This was answered by Morrissey, who tweeted:
 "Welcome. You have a lot to learn but we await your contribution and belief. I am He. Believe me."


And finally, finally, as OM had disappeared on Tuesday, I had to find something else to occupy my time, so I tuned in to the Ken Bruce show on Radio 2, as I particularly like listening to the Pop Master quiz. I managed to score a measly 18, but OM, who has also listened to it, tells me that he scored 30. I believe him.

Monday, 23 January 2017

Day 2057 - Death

I have no idea what I have done this time, but Heather has received word from OM that I have turned his parsnips sour. As a result; Our Mozzer, Dawn and Broken have all closed their Twitter accounts, and every article from the True Morrissey blog has been removed, bar a new entry which is just a series of death photos consisting of Oscar's tomb, Morrissey's headstone and a crucifixion scene.

It looks like we have reached the end of the journey, so I too have closed my Twitter account, and have also removed all articles on FTM.

I will see you in far-off places...













Saturday, 21 January 2017

Day 2055 - Competitive hair

Our Mozzer (@seminalartiste) made a visit to The Wrong Arms yesterday evening, bringing with him a photograph of himself, in which he looked rather 'overly' tanned. He was accompanied by Dawn Mist (@slightdawnmist)



DAWN: Is that a Damart vest I see?

OM: Pure Gucci as you are well aware.

RAT: Lies, lies, lies. Gucci don't do thermals!

DAWN: I noticed he's learnt to apply the "fake bake" rather well.

OM: One does not apply these things themselves. Boz tried. Although not before he tasted a whole bottle. I'm not entirely sure it was even vegetarian.

RAT: Surely a breech (sic) of contract. You should've docked his wages - just to be on the safe side.

DAWN: If he did that Boz would refuse to bed bath OM again.

OM: He still owes me £3000 for the meeting with Gwen Stefani.

RAT: You had to pay to meet her?

OM: I was under the impression it was Lady Gaga.

Image result for morrissey stefani gwen justin
MORRISSEY WITH GWEN STEFANI.....OR GAGA....OR SOMEONE ELSE

Earlier in the evening, Dawn had entered The Arms to invite people to join OM in the lighthouse (the TM chat room), where he was "hoovering".

Unfortunately I was not online at the time of the invite, so have no idea which of the regulars joined M in the lighthouse, nor know what was discussed. If anyone reading this was there, then please feel free to leave a report in the comments section below.

Heather also didn't make it, but later replied to Dawn's invite to offer her apologies. Dawn replied, "OM was mainly hoovering the cobwebs from his quiff".
I asked, "Where does he keep his quiff these days - is it in a box?", to which Dawn answered, "It's currently at Raouls being tweaked to perfection. Competition is pending - JM."

Image result for raoul's london wig
RAOUL'S  - WIG MAKERS SINCE 1899

Image result for JOHNNY MARR
JM - COMPETITIVELY HIRSUTE

I also enjoyed a brief chat with OM in the toilets of The Arms last night. He informed me that he has written a new Bans Committee parody piece, but doesn't think we deserve to have it yet. He also said that he wished he could start his blogging/tweeting career all over again, but would it have worked out any differently? Those original TTY denials were just too subtle. I actually think M is quite content with how the past 6 years have panned out.

I shared with OM my news that I have just been employed on a local basis as a writer/journalist - I have always wanted to write professionally. M offered me a few 'pen names', and said that he thinks he would have made a good journalist - I think he's right, although with his tendency to lie, he might have ended up being the subject of one of his own songs!


Thursday, 19 January 2017

Day 2053 - Pure Greek

Two more articles have been published on the True Morrissey blog, one yesterday and one today. Here is the first, entitled Symbol and Surface, which is all about Oscar Wilde and the role of the artist as seen by Our Mozzer:

18 January 2017
Symbol and Surface 



There is no explanation needed of the works of Wilde. Even the most sexually stringent sexually minded Victorian saw the metaphors and understood. Perhaps the most complex of characters was not so complex at all. He had Victorian society in awe when he ripped into the sky that they sheltered themselves under in regards to morality and ‘sexual correctness’. He showed the contradictions and utter absurdity of the time in which they found themselves and in which they conned themselves into thinking they were actually living. When Wilde finished his many masterpieces the jokes did not need explaining, people simply laughed because it was true. Since his tragic passing Oscar has become an icon. We trot him out to explain a plethora of situations. In essence Oscar has become in our time what he should have been in his own time. He is no longer looked upon as the criminal par excellence but as a maladjusted malcontent who could not fit into a society which quite frankly was not worth fitting into.

The event that would befall Oscar and rip to shreds his legacy and tarnish the varnish of his name was the act then called sodomy but what we now call Pure Greek. Rumours were of course persistent before the tragic unveiling of Oscar as the Victorian persona non grata but his talent outweighed the maliciousness. Once the 'sordid', sordid by Victorian standards not ours, details were revealed the public almost choked on their potato dinner. The fact is the personal life of the public artist shocked those who had once been enthralled. The message here? Do not take things at face value.

The artists image or indeed the public image presented by the artist does not match with the true person. As Oscar himself told us 'All art is at once surface and symbol. Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril. Those who read the symbol do so at their peril." Those who take public statements as the truth are very simple. The artist lies. Why? To present a more rounded and decent picture of themselves usually. Or simply that the artist is forever changing and adapting to the times. Sometimes they even shape the times. The artist constantly evolves. But the artist is devoid from the person for it is true that creation truly begins when you are born and only ends when you die.

It is an interesting and thought provoking piece, which once again shows that those three denials made by Morrissey on TTY regarding him having a blog should NOT have been taken at face value - "THE ARTIST LIES".

Even more interesting than the actual article, was the photo that accompanied it - a photo of Oscar that Morrissey has previously used with the words 'Smiths is Dead' written on it, but most noticeably the word 'dead' has been blanked out. It ain't rocket science, and as OM said to me in the confines of his chat room yesterday evening, "it is one for the archives". Oh the secrets this little blog of mine holds.

Image result for smiths is dead

Also whilst in the chat room last night, OM took the trouble to explain to me what 'Pure Greek' meant, as I had no idea - after all, I am an uneducated and unread philistine. He said:

Pure Greek my dear rat is what Oscar Wilde quipped to a vicar when he was playing in a garden with Alfred Douglas and the vicar took issue. "What is all this?" the vicar said. "This my child is Pure Greek" replied Oscar.

Further research has led me to realise that the Greeks were rather keen on their man love. I really, really am SO poorly educated. Whilst researching, I found an interesting piece by a now deceased french author called Michel Foucault, who wrote in his book The History of Sexuality, "Greece as the historical memory of a treasured past was romanticised and idealised as a time and a culture when love between males was not only tolerated but actually encouraged, and expressed as high ideal of same-sex camaraderie." So now I know!

Image result for two ancient greek male bonding

The only other revelation from last night's time in the chat room, is that OM declared, "Johnny and I are on better terms, this is true." 

The other new piece on the True Morrissey blog is a diary entry entitled January 4th - January 9th:

19 January 2017

January 4th - January 9th 

Crawled into bed on the 4th and did not crawl out again until the 9th. Purchased thermal vest and undergarments from the internet. This cold is blistering and I refuse to pay for central heating. It annoys my skin but more importantly it costs money that diminishes the piggy bank. I could always turn up at Boz’s house with a depressed eyebrow. He will show sympathy and let me in. I notice his central heating is always on, how does he afford it? *** Consider lowering wages in 2017.* 

Played online monopoly against a user called ‘Drummerboysmith’, I suspect Joyce of course and play an outstanding defensive game of monopoly. He was the bank. Well I was not surprised.

Looked at so-low. They are debating whether I have a twitter account or not. Joyce again. He probably posted this thread as he wants to see if he was blocked by the real Morrissey. He is no doubt stalking all possible Morrissey accounts to see if they are spending any of his money.

Fax machine was non-stop noise. I refuse to answer. I am an icon and do things on my own terms. Anyway it will only be my b****** lawyer.

Fell asleep to the sounds of Nico. Beautiful voice, beautiful face, ugly toes.

And finally, Manc Lad left a great little story in the comments section of yesterdays FTM, that he claims to be true. Apparently Morrissey was overheard in the Altrincham WH Smith asking the lad behind the counter if he had any stamps without the Queen's head on. Comedy gold.


Tuesday, 17 January 2017

Day 2051 - "Morrissey would never"....Yet again!

I awoke yesterday morning to find the following three tweets in my timeline from former BRS member, MerryAnne (@SadGlamour):

"I would like to die by the age of 40."
"I can't believe people still think that Chairman account (@seminalartiste) has anything to do with actual Morrissey"
"Anyone who knows anything about Moz would know he would never condone or contribute to bullying of fans. He is a sweet man."

The first tweet is an attention seeking lie; similar to many, many attention seeking tweets that MerryAnne constantly posts - which led to Morrissey to write the article False Victimhood on his True Morrissey blog last month - a piece I mentioned on Day 2026 of FTM. For those of us who have lost friends and family to suicide, seeing someone post false tweets about wanting to die irks to say the least, but the world is full of such attention seekers, and they can be ignored.

What irked me far more, was MerryAnne's second and third tweets, because they are misguided untruths, based on assumption. For the umpteenth time on this journey of ours, someone has decided that the online Morrissey can't possibly be the real Morrissey, because the online Morrissey has said something that they don't like, and which doesn't 'fit in' with that person's image of how they want Morrissey to be. MerryAnne's third tweet contains that classic line that we saw time and time again when MW first arrived on the scene, "Morrissey would never".

Image result for MORRISSEY
STEVEN 'WOULD NEVER' MORRISSEY

I have managed to ignore MerryAnne's attention seeking tweets in the past, and didn't bother to comment on her false claim that she wants to die by 40. I was also going to ignore her completely unfounded and false accusation about the online Morrissey being a bully, but when GOB (@GirlOnBike1102) tweeted to agree with MerryAnne - even though she admitted to not knowing what was going on - I could keep quiet no longer, and let them have it with both barrels. It wasn't long before Our Mozzer and Broken were joining in too.

In response to MerryAnne's tweet about not believing the online Mozzer to be the real Moz, Morrissey (@SeminalArtiste) tweeted:

"Oh but you did. You still do. It's not my fault you have an untrue picture of me. Start from the beginning and learn."

MerryAnne ought to read FTM from the beginning, because that would show her that we have been here before - her allay, GOB, knows that more than most having been involved in 'FagGate'  three years ago.

OM added other tweets during the ensuing debate, including these:

"Ask Solomon just how sweet I am."

"I've never personally bullied anyone as I know how it feels. I have offered a guide to self improvement however."

Broken also threw in his two penneth worth - well he would, wouldn't he - tweeting:

"Twitter is not a self help book or the psychiatrists office. Miserablists of the world unite and get followers."

When MerryAnne tweeted that she worked in the mental health field, Broken replied:

"I cannot imagine you providing much comfort. You probably relate all problems back to yourself."

MerryAnne replied that the world judges those with mental illness, to which Broken came back with:

"Well if you are the measurement of judgement I can see why." - there is nothing better on Twitter than Broken at his cutting best!

Having got bored of the attention seeker, OM invited people to join him in the True Morrissey chatroom, which myself, EARS, Chuck, Jaz and a couple of anons did. There were no great revelations this time, but it is always pleasant to spend time in his company. I even got invited into a private chat room, where OM asked me if I had read any Burroughs. I told him that I no longer read books as my memory is so bad that as soon as I have finished a book, I have forgotten what I have read. He suggested that he would write an article on the subject - although I don't know if he meant memory loss or Burroughs. The truth is, I doubt he'll write about either!

Image result for william burroughs
BURROUGHS

So, there we have it. I wonder if MerryAnne really no longer believes OM to be Morrissey, or if she is just trying to convince herself it is so because the alternative doesn't bare thinking about? One thing that is for sure, MerryAnne certainly never took a blue rose to a concert out of a love for Moz, she took one to try and get herself noticed.

To finish off, here is the parody that followed FagGate, written by Broken and posted in the comments section of Day 868 on FTM - January 29th 2014:

A scene in a coffee shop.

Our Mozzer and Broken are having a cup of tea with Jjaz and JB. Broken is admiring Justin's latest owl tattoo and nodding safely as he explains its deeper meaning.

"Fag!" comes a voice as a middle aged woman cackles on the table across the café.

"Pardon?" asks Broken.

Silence.

"You just called me a fag-" says Broken. "Do you think that's very polite?"

"Prove she called you a fag!" says Chuck, sipping her latte with caramel.

"Prove it? She just said it!" says Broken.

"Prove it - I just want to see the proof, is all" says Chuck.

"But she did say it," says a tender voice; Heathercat is sitting with a pensive look and dewy eyes.

"Oh that doesn't sound like Sabine..." says Chuck. "Can I have some proof please?"

"You want me to prove Sabine called me a fag when your two friends heard her?" asks Broken.

"Stop bullying me!" shrieks Sabine, cowering under the table.

A plump man with a limp and a slightly ill-fitting t-shirt sashays up to the table. He speaks in a soft London accent and appears to be holding flyers for his latest film.

"I'm sorry, is this man bothering you?" asks the man.

"Yes!" screams Sabine. "What have I done? What?"

"You called me a fag!"

"Trouble maker," says the man.

"But..." says Broken.

"This witch-hunt has GOT to stop, besides you're not really real and the tree bark told me this morning that you're not even Morrissey."

Broken looks over to Jjaz who rolls her eyes. JB is rubbing his blue rose tattoo and Our Mozzer is jutting his jaw out and gazing out of the window.

Our Mozzer stands up.

"Is there a problem here?" He asks in a soft voice, grimacing and poking his tongue into his left cheek.

"Yes," says the man. "This c*** is harassing this woman and claiming she called him a fag!"

"But she did!" cries the whole table, except Sabine and Chuck.

"She wouldn't.... proof!" cries Chuck.

"She mocked my suicide attempt in 2011" adds Broken, looking quite serious.

"Non-existent people can't kill themselves" laughs the man, gazing down at his film-themed t-shirt and wondering what he can eat next.

"I didn't say that anyway!" shouts Sabine. "My son tweeted it!"

"Leave this woman alone, c***" shouts the man. "Here's my mobile, phone me, c***. If you dare, c***."

Our Mozzer licks his lips.

"I heard her say it, and I blocked her a few years ago for saying it, old son," says OM.

"But I didn't say it!" shrieks Sabine. "I wouldn't do something like that."

"You have said it and you've apologised for it," says Broken in a mellow voice. "There are witnesses."

"Look I've already apologised for that - stop raking up the past!" Sabine cries.

"Proof please!" shouts Chuck in floods of tears. "All I'm asking for is proof!"

"But your friends witnessed it - just ask them."

"It's true," says Heather and Lizzy in unison.

"Prove it! I'm only asking for proof!" cries Chuck, standing up and storming out of the café, before reappearing at the doorway.

"I want proof - is that too much to ask?" she screams.

Jjaz rolls her eyes.

"Look, Sabine admitted she mocked my suicide. It's even on the MW archives. But we don't need to post that because Heather and Lizzy witnessed it!"

"My son logged on and made that comment!" cries Sabine.

"See! You lying scum!" screams Chuck. "You bully! Leave us alone!"

"Your son?" laughs OM, stroking his chin.

"Stop this at once," mutters the man, gazing at his t-shirt and wondering what to eat next.

"OK chaps, we'll move over there," says Broken quite calmly.

Our Mozzer nods softly, grimacing and licking his lips.

"Stop right there, b*****!" comes a loud voice from the other side of the café.

"You can't b******d leave! You b******d treating Chuck like this!"

"Pardon?" asks Broken.

"Bullying a helpless woman because she'd defending another helpless woman, who was probably only defending another helpless-"

"I'm just moving away from the homophobic abuse and rudeness," interrupts Broken.

"You can't leave! You can't leave! Don't you dare go! And don't you DARE close down the blog, you cruel b******d!"

"OK let's go home. This is insane," says Broken. He, OM, Jjaz and JB stand up and leave.

"I knew there was something not right about him," murmurs Lizzy, looking at Broken.

"Not a very nice man," says the man. "And your aweful grammer!"

As they leave, someone throws a piece of fruit at Broken.

"Perhaps now the bullying will stop" says Chuck to Sabine.

"Don't count on it," she says, with a roll of the eyes. "The f*g is a right c***."

"All I asked for was proof!" shrieks Chuck, in tears. "Is that TOO much to ask?"

Sabine nods, her eyes closing as she downs her tea.

"I hope this isn't the end," says Heather. "I love the BRS."

"I know... it's awful," says Lizzy. "After we've spent all these years following the blog and twitter too! All the time and effort we've expended. Where's the loyalty? Where?"

Sabine nods.

"Nasty bullies!" says Chuck.

Lizzy runs to the door and shouts down the street: "You scum have no loyalty to your loyal readers! How dare you close the blog down after upsetting my friend Sabine! I tell you what! I don't give a fig for your blog anymore! You've ruined it all!"

Sunday, 15 January 2017

Day 2049 - Inquizitively yours

All has been fairly quiet on the Morrissey front of late, but I am pleased to report that: A) Morrissey has returned to Twitter, B) He has lifted the ban on me blogging and C) He rather amusingly joined in the regular Friday night Moz Army Twitter quiz...which he didn't win! There is NO D).

If the winner of the quiz, Brian Forbes (@brianlforbes), had any idea that he had beaten Morrissey in a Morrissey quiz, it would probably make his life - it is certainly something to dine out on. Here is how the quiz; which was hosted by Ian Bradshaw (@Bradder68), shaped up:

Q1 In Morrissey's PoppyCocteau poem, in which city was he held up outside a nightclub by 2 sailors?

The answer was Liverpool, which a number of people got right - including Morrissey, funnily enough - but he was only the third quickest to answer, beaten by @NeilW70 and @brianlforbes.
Image result for poppycocteau

Q2 When Moz got (plastic) bottled off stage in Liverpool in 2009, he was only on his third song, What was it?

The answer was Black Cloud, which again Morrissey got right, but again he was only the third quickest, beaten by @NeilW70 and @MozFreak. Following Bradder's (the quizmaster) tweet announcing who had won the points, Morrissey tweeted, "Sometimes I wonder what I exist for. I cannot even type the answers to questions about me before someone else steals in."
Image result for morrissey bottled liverpool

Q3 Who was the Shoplifters single dedicated to?

The answer was Ruth Polski, and the points were awarded to @brianlforbes, @NeilW70 and @tonymerchison. I wasn't actually online at the time of the quiz, so I don't know what happened, but my Twitter timeline shows that Morrissey not only answered this correctly, but was seemingly the first to answer. He obviously felt robbed because he tweeted to Bradders, "I do believe I answered correctly on the deleted tweet.." Bradders didn't respond!
Image result for ian bradshaw stoke morrissey
IAN 'BRADDERS' BRADSHAW - QUIZMASTER 

Q4 "Fifth" Smith Craig Gannon and "nearly" Smith Ivor Perry were later in which band together?

Morrissey answered, "Easterhouse. Terrible name", but he was wrong; as were everyone else. Bradders then added: "It wasn't Perry's original band, but one he formed after they split." 
Moz then answered, "The Cradle. Also a terrible name." This time he was right, but the points were awarded to @Banjaxer, @Thedoctorcream and @nigel4036. Morrissey responded to this lack of points by tweeting, "I do not care about ex-band member activity. Unless you are Joyce because I fund your activities."
Image result for mike joyce
JOYCE - FUNDED 

Q5 Which Eastenders actress appeared in The Boy Racer video? (Will accept either her actual name or character name)

The answer was Martine MCCutcheon or Tiffany. Morrissey answered, "Martine Kimberley Sherri Ponting", but scored 0 points, beaten by @brianlforbes, @charm972 and @tonymerchison.

It would appear that Morrissey didn't think much to Ms McCutcheon, as he posted two follow up tweets:

"Martine Mccutcheon is a stage name and a stupid one at that. Now where is my gin?

 "She was a frightful bore as well. I despise the association." 
Related image
PONTING - FRIGHTFUL BORE


At this point in the proceedings Morrissey obviously became fed up with being beaten in a quiz about himself, as he tweeted: "Sod the rules. I am hosting my own quiz."

He followed this up with:

"Question 1) What Animal was Joyce depicted as in MW?"

Poor @TonyMerchison had no idea what was going on, and answered, "A Northern leech?" followed by, "Sorry, still trying to figure out what MW stands for. I'm very dim." Morrissey replied, "Malcontent Womble", but he was of course toying.

Monsieur Merchison (actually his name is Andy) isn't dim, it is just that he hasn't followed the events of the past 6 years, in which Morrissey had a blog called MorrisseysWorld - or MW as it is often shorten to. It was the MW blog that Morrissey 'officially' denied not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES via the True-To-You website having any association with - denials which Andy and all the other thousands of Morrissey fans took at face value and believed. THREE DENIALS! How un-Moz like...it was as though he was purposefully trying to draw attention to it. Doh!

Anyway, the MW blog is now long gone, so it doesn't really matter.....although here we are 6 years on, and Morrissey remains on Twitter, remains unseen by the masses, and even has a new blog site called True Morrissey, which once again Morrissey's thousands of adoring fans haven't realised is his work.

Now, where were we? Oh yes, Morrissey's Twitter quiz. The answer to his first question was; as the dreary deluded dozen who have followed the MW story for the past 6 years all know, A goat!
Image result for joyce goat
THE JOYCE GOAT - AS FEATURED ON MW

It was at this point that I logged on to Twitter on Friday evening, and the first tweet I saw live from Moz was:

"Question 2) What size is my left foot?"

He didn't post an answer.

"Question 3) How much gin is too much gin?"

Again, no answer. I have never personally tried gin, so I don't know if there is a correct answer!

"Question 4) Just who is in my rhythm section?"

No answer given.

"Question 17) Where did I say I would play cricket with @TheRatsBack"

I knew this one - Shanklin village.

"Question 105) What do I daydream about most?"

Harrison (@OdysseyNumber5) answered, "Smacking Robert Smith in the kisser with a bouquet of gladioli?", to which M replied, "Just a bouquet of gladioli? I would hit him with every abortion of a song in his back catalogue. He'd be dead in  seconds."

Image result for robert smith 2016 ill
SMITH - SINGER OF ABORTION SONGS...APPARENTLY 


"Question 209) Is there anyone I hate more than Joyce?"

@TonyMerchison answered, "Judge Weeks?", to which Morrissey replied, "Without Joyce I would not know the name of that spineless coward. He saw a press headline and went forward. No regard to me."
Image result for judge john weeks  sandwiches mozziah
JUDGE WEEKS - AS DEPICTED ON THE MW BLOG A FEW YEARS AGO - SPINELESS COWARD

Andy (@tonymerchison) then tweeted, "My apologies - I should have known better than to pick that particular scab. Forgive me.", to which Moz replied, "I am a forgiving soul. If Joyce wishes to give back all the money he has stolen from me over the years I will forgive him. Also he will need to return the scarf and jeans I gave him back in 1986. Never trust a Mike."


At this point, Moz returned momentarily to participate, sort of, in the Moz Army quiz:

Q6 What comes next in this sequence It's - Belligerent - Farewell - ??

Morrissey answered, "Leave it as it is. That's quite a snappy title. I just need a record label now."

Q7 Moz only played 2 UK gigs in 1997. One in Chester and the other at which London venue?"

Moz answered, "Clapham Common to the random man with his mute dog." The actual answer was Battersea Power Station, so he was close! Incidentally, I still have my unused ticket for this concert somewhere, but I can't for the life of me remember why I didn't go...oh yes, I remember now, I got married instead, and was in St Lucia on Honeymoon! A poor excuse, I know.
Image result for morrissey battersea power station

Q8 Excluding the Wolverhampton 88 concert, which was the first Smiths song that Moz performed live?

Morrissey answered, "Money Changes Everything. The Drummers personal national anthem."  It was the wrong answer - Shoplifters being the correct one, but I don't think Morrissey was particularly bothered about the correct answers by this point, he was happily amusing himself.


Moz also continued with his own quiz, tweeting:

"I've lost count of the numbers. Shall I tell you who never loses count of numbers? Joyce."

"I improve with time. Even if you refuse to."

"Question 77) Stretford Baths and Chorlton Baths are now what?"

No answer was given, but from what I can make out via google, they are both leisure centres.

[​IMG]
CHORLTON BATHS


"Not a question but a statement. World Peace may be none of your business but it is my personal favourite album."

"Question - 12) How much was I offered to appear on Celebrity Big Brother last year?"

The answer was given as, "Just Rylan's Toenail clippings. More than the winner received. They only got his extensive library on teeth cleaning."

I wonder if M really was made an offer to appear.

Image result for rylan teeth
RYLAN CLARK - ALL TOENAILS AND TEETH

Mozzer brought his quiz, and his tweeting for the evening, to an end by tweeting, "There is no winner of my quiz. You all performed abysmally." followed by, "Take me to Houndsditch." and "I am Jackson Pollock".
Image result for houndsditch 1872
HOUNDSDITCH 1872

Morrissey's final tweet of the evening was, "Join me in chat". I had no idea where he meant us to go, so I asked, and he linked me to a chatroom that has been added to the bottom of the True Morrissey blog; which incidentally has had a new article posted, entitled The Un-Royals, which is basically a series on links to websites about the Royal family. I haven't bothered to read the links as I have no interest in the Battenbergs whatsoever.

Myself and Heather (@heathercat222) were the only two who took up Morrissey's invitation to join him for a chat, and we enjoyed a very entertaining and relaxing half hour in his company; mostly talking about nothingness. Moz did however reveal that he had spent the day watching old episodes of Shameless, and mentioned that he had been listening a lot lately to his Bowie duet, Cosmic Dancer. He also made an incredible revelation, which I am not allowed to blog about, but I think I now understand what M's tweet of last Monday means - here is the tweet:

"Contain your excitement at the next announcement. I fear a backlash. I steer towards a backtrack."

2017 looks like being a rather special year.

Tuesday, 10 January 2017

Day 2044 - Morrissey Singles Video Chart 2016

On Day 1638 of FTM (March 6th 2016) I published a chart of all the Morrissey singles videos on Youtube. I thought it would be interesting to now revisit the videos, to see which of them has received the most views for the year 2016... or at least for the 10 month period from March 6th 2016 - January 9th 2017.

Whilst doing my research, I discovered that there are a large number of Morrissey songs that fans have uploaded to Youtube which AREN'T actually videos; they are just the songs, but none the less they have had a staggering numbers of views. For example Youtube user Andy Moser's listing of First of the Gang to Die has been viewed 4,312,328 times, whilst iCharl1996's upload of You Have Killed Me  has had over 2 million views. Youtube is not just a website to view videos, but is used by more and more people for listening to music; with the pc or smart phone now a modern day replacement for the record player/cassette player/cd player and even the radio.

Image result for youtube on pc listening girl music

Music lovers also use Youtube as a free source for downloading songs - using Youtube Converter websites to convert songs into MP3 files to then use on their iPods/smart phones/computers. The sharing of songs as MP3 files has destroyed revenues for song writers, but this seems to have become the accepted norm, with the exposure on Youtube seemingly being far more important to artists than income revenue from songs. This week for example, Ed Sheeran 'dropped' two new songs, Shape of You and Castle on the Hill, both of which are effectively available to download for free by using Youtube Converter. Although the songs have only been out for 5 days, they have both already had 20 million views on Youtube.

But it isn't just the new breed of artists exposing their new work via Youtube, Radiohead 'dropped' their song Burn the Witch in May with no prior publicity, and to date it has had over 25 million views, but this still hasn't been enough to get the song anywhere near the UK Top 40 Singles Chart, because in 2016 the Singles Chart is all about.... streaming!

As a parent of two teenagers, I can confirm that very few of the modern generation of music lovers have any interest whatsoever in owning either a download or physical copy of a song; or indeed listening to a whole album that might have 'filler' tracks, they just want to listen to their favourite songs when they want, and wherever they are, and are happy to pay a small monthly subscription to Spotify, Apple Music or Tidal to do exactly that. Subsequently, CD sales fell 14% last year, whilst digital album sales fell by nearly 20%.

Streaming basically means that the likes of Morrissey, Radiohead, U2, Madonna etc have virtually NO CHANCE of ever having another Top 40 hit, let alone a Number 1 - unless of course it's a collaboration with Sheeran or Bieber. Even dying can't get you a hit anymore, with David Bowie just about scraping to No.40 with Lazarus when he popped his clogs, whilst George Michael limped to a posthumous No.44 with Careless Whisper. A recent campaign to get the late Craig Gill to Number 1 with the Inspiral Carpets song Saturn 5 was a complete and utter waste of time - the charts can no longer be manipulated. Saturn 5 reached Number 48, which actually was quite an achievement.

But it isn't just the old school who can't break the Singles Chart, new artists have been unable to breakthrough either due to the fact that once songs get into the chart, the masses all add them to their streaming playlists, so they are on a continual loop. This has led to the Official Chart Company to increase the number of streams that count as a 'sale' from 100 to 150, but in such a growing industry, I very much doubt it will make any difference. Sheeran's two songs could quite possibly stay in the chart all year, or perhaps forever! It certainly looks as though the likes of: Sheeran, Drake, Beyonce, Little Mix, Rihanna, Bieber, Clean Bandit etc will dominate the UK Singles Chart for a very long time, even without necessarily selling the most copies. Perhaps collaborations between old established artists and the new kids is something that will become commonplace. Morrissey and Miley Cyrus anyone?
Image result for morrissey miley cyrus

Despite streaming changing everything, there will always be those who do want 'ownership' of their music; especially those born before the year 2000, so as the CD disappears, the vinyl record returns. Vinyl album sales increased by over 25% in 2015, and at the end of 2016, it was reported that vinyl had started to outsell downloads.

The Album Chart is where established artists can still rule. Radiohead, Bowie, Paul Simon, ELO Barbra Streisand, Green Day, Elvis and The Rolling Stones all had Number 1 albums in 2016, so if you are an established artist with a loyal fan base, a Number 1 album is VERY achievable, including for Morrissey... as long as he doesn't release one in the same week as a new Ed Sheeran album!



Related image

Anyway, I have digressed, this article is supposed to be about the Morrissey Singles Video Chart of 2016.

Suedehead remains at Number 1 on the chart, with it's viewing figures up 3.2 million in just 10 months - which isn't bad for a song that is nearly 30 years old. Suedehead's 2016 views are up nearly 50% on it's total viewing figures from the previous 6 years, which would suggest that Youtube really has become huge in 2016.

Despite You Have Killed Me being Morrissey's biggest UK chart hit - and it having a great video - it doesn't feature very highly in this chart, mainly because the video has never been 'officially' listed on Youtube.

Not including re-issues of the same song, Morrissey has released 46 singles, so here is the chart for the most watched of the official videos. Where no official video was made, I have included fan-made videos.

THE MORRISSEY SINGLES VIDEO CHART 2016

1.  SUEDEHEAD 2016 Views: 3,272,029  (NON MOVER)
Total views: 10,004,087  (7,966,347 - Loaded by Official Morrissey + 605,321 - Loaded by Rhino + 1,432,419 - Loaded by beneficiosdelaluna)
Image result for suedehead video morrissey

2.  EVERYDAY IS LIKE SUNDAY 2016 Views: 1,821,835 (UP 1)
Total views: 5,797,272 (4,148,815 - Loaded by Morrissey + 393,768 - Loaded by Rhino + 1,254,689 - Loaded by Official Morrissey)

3. THE LAST OF THE FAMOUS INTERNATIONAL PLAYBOYS 2016 Views: 878,494 (UP 5)
Total Views: 2,181,062 (2,063,690 - Loaded by Official Morrissey + 117,372 - Loaded by Rhino)

4.  TOMORROW  2016 Views: 544,961 (UP 5)
Total Views: 1,756,735 (1,720,202 - Loaded by Official Morrissey + 36,533 - Loaded by Aly Stevenson)

5.  FIRST OF THE GANG TO DIE 2016 Views: 426,858 (DOWN 1)
Total Views: 2,520,257 (2,223,176 - Loaded by Canal de vitotemuko  + 297,081 - Loaded by XvrBlk)

6. MY LOVE LIFE 2016 Views: 411,972 (UP 5)
Total Views: 1,192,320 (Loaded by Official Morrissey)

7. ALMA MATTERS 2016 Views: 376,543 (NON MOVER)
Total Views: 1,878,776 (Loaded by Morrissey)

8. YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME, FATTY 2016 Views: 375,006 (UP 4)
Total Views: 1,136,928   (1,020,929 - Loaded by Official Morrissey + 115,999 - Loaded by Rhino)

9.  NOVEMBER SPAWNED A MONSTER 2016 Views: 349,308 (UP 5)
Total Views: 927,930  (731,634 - Loaded by Official Morrissey + 196,296 - Loaded by Rhino)


10.  IRISH BLOOD, ENGLISH HEART 2016 Views: 319,295 (DOWN 8)
Total views: 5,586,557 (5,394,229 - Loaded by The Sisters of Mercy + 132,876 - Loaded by rgmu101 + 59,452 - Loaded by Cynthia Sanchez)

11. INTERESTING DRUG  2016 Views: 299,651 (UP 5)
Total Views: 752,112  (697,272 - Loaded by Official Morrissey + 54,840 - Loaded by Rhino)

12. I HAVE FORGIVEN JESUS 2016 Views: 284,880 (UP 1)
Total Views: 1,437,548  (844,343 - Loaded by rgmu101. There is a copy of the video that I missed last time with 287,428 views - Loaded by Donovan Torres. For the purpose of the chart I have counted 48,000. There is also  another copy I missed last time with 168,710 views - Loaded by DennisRodmanBcn. For the purpose of the chart I have added 28,000. A third copy that I didn't include last time has 80,697 views - Loaded by heinvortex. 14,000 have been added for 2016. A fourth copy has 41,107 views - Loaded by Rotherham MindConcert. 7,000 have been added. A fifth copy has 15,263 views - Loaded by yackotion. 2,000 have been added. There are other copies loaded, but not with significant views. A copy loaded by ultimoslafila with 22,631 views that counted towards the last chart appears to have been taken down.)

13. WE HATE IT WHEN OUR FRIENDS BECOME SUCCESSFUL 2016 Views: 272,251 (UP 4)
Total Views: 721,325 (570,268 - Loaded by Official Morrissey + 151,057 - Loaded by Rhino)

14. OUIJA BOARD, OUIJA BOARD  2016 Views: 255,379 (UP 7)
Total Views: 609,827 (Loaded by Official Morrissey)

15. LET ME KISS YOU 2016 Views: 235,590 (Approx) (NEW ENTRY)
Total Views: 2,355,906 (Loaded by hackum1)
(This was not included in my last chart as it is not an official video release nor a fan-made video, however, as it comes from the live Who Put the M in Manchester video, and has had so many views, it has come to be seen as the go-to video version of the song)

16. SING YOUR LIFE  2016 Views: 220,464 (UP 10)
Total Views: 408,668  (Loaded by Official Morrissey)

17. BOXERS 2016 Views: 132,633 (UP 5)
Total Views: 430,385  (Loaded by Official Morrissey)

18. I'M THROWING MY ARMS AROUND PARIS 2016 Views: 101,408 (DOWN 12)
Total Views: 1,808,183 (Loaded by Morrissey)

19. SUNNY 2016 Views: 89,468 (UP 5)
Total Views: 329,673 (257,757 - Loaded by Official Morrissey + 39,964 - Loaded by Sol. There is a poor quality copy of the video that I missed last time with 31,952 views - Loaded by MorrisseyLife. For the purpose of the chart I have counted 3,000 views)

Image result for morrissey sunny video

20. CERTAIN PEOPLE I KNOW 2016 Views: 83,141 (UP 3)
Total Views: 343,062 (Loaded by Official Morrissey)

21. THE MORE YOU IGNORE ME, THE CLOSER I GET 2016 Views: 80,205 (Approx) (NEW ENTRY)
Total Views: 802,054 (Loaded by natyvox)
(This was not included in my last chart as it is not an official video release nor a fan-made video, however, as it comes from the official Introducing Morrissey video, and has had so many views, it has come to be seen as the go-to video version of  the song)

22. KISS ME A LOT 2016 Views: 76,521 (DOWN 7)
Total Views: 447,806 (Loaded by Sam Esty Rayner)

23. GLAMOROUS GLUE 2016 Views: 71,772 (UP 4)
Total Views: 248,596  (176,824 - Loaded by Official Morrissey) (A copy loaded by Morrissey & Marr with 11,231 views that counted towards the last chart has been taken down)

24. THAT'S HOW PEOPLE GROW UP 2016 Views: 62,982 (DOWN 19)
Total Views: 1,967,793 (1,470,329 - Loaded by Morrissey + 497,464 - Loaded by Polydor)

25. YOU HAVE KILLED ME 2016 Views: 59,373 (DOWN 15)
Total Views: 942,892  (347,131 - Loaded by mo juh  + 232,334 - Loaded by Noiselab + 188,394 - Loaded by xafro + 90,075 - Loaded by Red Professor + 52,713 - Loaded by Hannerrrrr (There is also a copy of the video that I missed last time with 32,245 views - Loaded by dmallea. For the purpose of the chart I have counted 2,000)


26. OUR FRANK 2016 Views: 54,318 (DOWN 1)
Total Views: 207,742 (Loaded by Official Morrissey) (A copy loaded by Mozbricka with 42,517 views that counted towards the last chart has been taken down)

27. SOMETHING IS SQUEEZING MY SKULL 2016 Views: 43,026 (Approx) (NEW ENTRY)
Total Views:172,105 (93,799 - Loaded by vivahate33 + 78,306 - Loaded by iapislazuli42
(This was not included in my last chart as it is not an official video release, however, live songs from this BBC session were released on the single, so it is therefore as good as a promo video)

28. BOY RACER  2016 Views: 34,161 (UP 2)
Total Views: 103,448 (83,720 - Loaded by Rhino + 19,728 - Loaded by Ekaterina K)

Image result for morrissey boy racer video


29.  THE BULLFIGHTER DIES 2016 Views: 31,356 (UP 2)
Total Views: 86,613 (Loaded by trentmorrisson) (This is a fan-made video that has been used by Morrissey on tour. There is an official spoken word video: Total Views 6,593 (Loaded by DonkeyDave68  - 2016 Views: 4,015

30. INTERLUDE (WITH SIOUXSIE) 2016 Views: 30,770 (DOWN 12)
Total Views: 454,175 (Loaded by Trashbinder)
(This is an unofficial fan video)

31. PREGNANT FOR THE LAST TIME 2016 Views: 25,839 (UP 3)
Total Views: 63,571 (Loaded by Official Morrissey)

32. NOW MY HEART IS FULL 2016 Views: 17,707 (Approx) (NEW ENTRY)
Total Views: 177,072 (Loaded by Darragh Kelly)
(This was not included in my last chart as it is not an official video release nor a fan-made video, however, as it comes from the official Introducing Morrissey video, and has had so many views, it has come to be seen as the go-to video version of the song)

33. IN THE FUTURE WHEN ALL'S WELL 2016 Views: 14,379 (DOWN 14)
Total Views: 395,671 (303,580 - Loaded by godlovesugly05  + 92,091 - Loaded by nate47)

34ROY'S KEEN 2016 Views: 11,633 (Approx) (NEW ENTRY)
Total Views: 116,334 (Loaded by dullicious)
(This was not included in my last chart as it is not an official video release nor a fan-made video, however, as it comes from a live television appearance at around the time of the single's release, and has had so many views, it warrants inclusion)

35. HOLD ON TO YOUR FRIENDS 2016 Views: 11,036 (Approx) (NEW ENTRY)
Total Views: 33,117 (Loaded by scamparoo)
(This was not included in my last chart as it is not an official video release but just clips of other Morrissey videos pieced together, however, as it has had so many views, it is obviously being seen as the video that represents this song on Youtube, so warrants inclusion) 

36. ISTANBUL 2016 Views: 10,389 (DOWN 4)
Total Views: 41,078 (Loaded by inaminnit)
(This is a fan-made video. There is an official spoken word videoTotal Views: 1,213 - Loaded by DonkeyDave68 - 2016 Views: 459)

37. DAGENHAM DAVE  2016 Views: 10,162 (DOWN 4)
Total Views: 36,305 (Loaded by vivahate33)
(A copy loaded by SGGTBLUE with 14,458 views that counted towards the last chart has been taken down

38. EARTH IS THE LONELIEST PLANET 2016 Views: 7,586 (DOWN 2)
Total Views: 15,850 (14,810 - Loaded by Ivan Illić + 1,040 - Loaded by DonkeyDave68)
(This is a spoken word video, but Ivan Illić's upload includes the video being repeated whilst the song is played over the top of it. This version has proven to be a lot more popular than just the spoken word version)



PAMELA ANDERSON IN THE SPOKEN PROMO VIDEO

39. SATAN REJECTED MY SOUL 2016 Views: 7,235 (Approx) (NEW ENTRY)
Total Views: 72,358 (Loaded by Katie Strife)
(This was not included in my last chart as it is not an official video release nor a fan-made video, however, as it comes from a live television appearance at the time of the single's release, and has had so many views, it has come to be seen as the go-to video version of the song)

40REDONDO BEACH 2016 Views: 4,303 (Approx) (NEW ENTRY)
Total Views: 8,605 (Loaded by ildieffe)
(This was not included in my last chart as it is a poorly produced fan-made video and not an official video release, but as it is attracting viewings, it now warrants inclusion)

41PICCADILLY PALARE 2016 Views: 4,101 (Approx) (NEW ENTRY)
Total Views: 12,314 (Loaded by scamparoo)
(This was not included in my last chart as it is not an official video release but just clips of other Morrissey videos pieced together, however, as it has had so many views, it is obviously being seen as the video that represents this song on Youtube, so warrants inclusion) 

42. THE YOUNGEST WAS THE MOST LOVED 2016 Views: 3,870 (DOWN 22)
Total Views: 364,193 (303,354 - Loaded by nozzer + 53,782 - Loaded by Noiselabpodcast  + 7,057 - Loaded by rocker subtitulos) (A copy loaded by Morrissey & Marr with 11,186 views that counted towards the last chart appears to have been taken down)

43. I JUST WANT TO SEE THE BOY HAPPY 2016 Views: 3,655 (DOWN 15)
Total Views: 122,163 (Loaded by nate47)

44. ALL YOU NEED IS ME 2016 Views: 2,838 (DOWN 9)
Total Views: 22,742 (Loaded by Morrissey Chile)
(A copy loaded by Morrissey & Marr with 1,008 views that counted towards the last chart has been taken down)

45.  WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS 2016 Views: 2,654 (DOWN 15)
Total Views: 64,454 (Loaded by Lindsey Nicole)
(This is a spoken word video, but unlike the other spoken word promotional videos from the LP of the same name, has received more views than any of the fan-made videos)



46. SATELLITE OF LOVE (LIVE) 2016 Views: 474 (Approx) (NEW ENTRY)
Total Views: 4,748 (Loaded by dj dubef)
(This was not included in my last chart as it is not an official video release but as it is a fan-made recording of the actual live performance that made up the single, it warrants inclusion)


OFFICIAL VIDEOS NOT RELEASED AS A SINGLE:

SEASICK, YET STILL DOCKED 2016 Views: 8,893 (Approx)
Total Views: 88,939 (Loaded by rgmu101)

GANGLORD (featured on the single of  The Youngest Was the Most Loved) 2016 Views: 28,720 
Total Views: 40,459 (Loaded by MozLuv59)

FAN-MADE VIDEOS OF NOTE (NON SINGLES):

MY DEAREST LOVE (b side to All You Need Is Me) 2016 Views: 18,505
Total Views: 196,102 (Loaded by sdsuedehead - Set to a scene from the film Love Story)

OTHER:

SPEEDWAY
Total Views: 101,407 (Loaded by Rhino)
(This is a live video taken from Introducing Morrissey)

FOOTNOTE - On January 13th, Ed Sheeran entered the UK singles chart at No.1 & No.2 - a first for any artist with two new songs. I would imagine they will remain there for the next few months. The Stream-age is in full flow.

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