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Wednesday, 26 April 2017

Day 2150 - Gifts galore - 'lost' MW classics 'found' & another interview

In my blog entry of two days ago I made reference to Morfessa playing the Red Hot Chili Peppers's song Parallel Universe on the Wrong Arms jukebox. This in turn led to girlwithout (GWO) commenting, "Was 'Parallel Universe" the title of one of the MW blogs? Seem to recall a submarine. Or am I dreaming?"

Both myself and Heather replied to GWO, and we got reminiscing about a few of the other old MorrisseysWorld classics, including one about a Morrissey impersonator called Paul Freeyourself wearing speedos, and another about the same Paul Freeyourself in a clapped out Mercedes.  I mentioned how I regretted not having taken copies of those old MorrisseysWorld classics, and that their deletions were the equivalent of Van Gogh slashing his own paintings, or Beethoven setting fire to his scores, or the BBC wiping sit coms.

Image result for van gogh self portrait

Yesterday evening, at just before 8.30pm, Dawn Mist left the following comment on the reminiscing thread of the last FTM:


Back from the dead. Eyes wide. This will shock you sixty-nine times. 
Seeing is believing. 

For your viewing displeasure- 

http://truemorrissey.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/far-far-away-in-parallel-universe.html 

http://truemorrissey.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/the-day-morrissey-met-freeyourself-in.html 

http://truemorrissey.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/interview-series-with-our-mozzer-part.html 

I truly spoil you. 

Dawn 



To say that I was lost for words was an understatement! Those MW classics were not only alive and well, but had been re-published for the world to enjoy.... or at least the dozen or so who are still on this journey.

I would dearly love to republish the three MW classics here on FTM; for no other reason than they might disappear again one day, but I have been told by a certain someone in no uncertain terms that I am not allowed to.

Image result for morrissey hand up

All three of the parody pieces that Dawn has shared with us are hilariously funny. The first is the one that GWO mentioned, about a parallel universe on a submarine. This was written following 'Houston-gate', a ridiculous few days in mid February 2012, in which Our Mozzer was accused of being racist for likening Whitney Houston to Oprah Winfrey. I wrote a very funny court scene parody about the situation on Day 156 of FTM, and at the same time, Our Mozzer wrote the Parallel Universe parody, which I drew reference to on Day 157.




The second of the parody pieces that Dawn has republished is entitled, 'The Day Morrissey met Freeyourself in Chile'. This was written when Morrissey was on tour in Chile, and I mentioned it briefly on Day 163 of FTM. It is the parody about the Morrissey impersonator and his band wearing speedos, whilst stalking Morrissey and his band. The humour of the writing is once again top drawer, with Boz in particular coming in for some right old ribbing. There are a couple of Wilde quotes thrown in for good measure, but my absolute favourite line is a throwaway one, where Morrissey refers to the impersonators as, "rum c*nts". The word 'rum' as an adjective is not used anywhere near enough in this modern society.


THE RUM CUNTS - AVAILABLE TO HIRE IN THE MANCHESTER AREA

The final one of the parody pieces is the other one that included Paul the impersonator, and was a meeting between Morrissey and Our Mozzer, with Rosy Mires acting as the 'real' Morrissey's right hand man/woman. The story concludes with Our Mozzer turning out to actually be the real Morrissey, whilst the Morrissey that Rosy had thought was real, turned out to be Paul the impersonator. Another classic. I first mentioned this piece on Day 307 of FTM, with RosyMires's response to it also included. This response included Rosy throwing all evidence, logic and rationale out of the window, and accusing ME of being the author of MorrisseysWorld. You couldn't make this up...and yet still to this day...

Although I am not allowed to reproduce the parodies, I'm sure it will be fine to quote my favourite lines from the third of those three parodies:

ROSYMIRES: You see it's got that irony factor when you do it, Morrissey. NO one else could pull that off - certainly not a blogger. Also this use of the word c*nt - I mean, come on! For a man with a vocabulary like you to use that word would be ridiculous! It just wasn't Morrisseyesque at all -

THE TRUE ARTISTE: -Oh I beg to differ, my sweet. I use the word c*nt constantly in discussion with Boz Boorer. It's the only language the sorry c*nt understands, quite frankly-

ROSYMIRES: -Well yes of course when YOU use that word, Morrissey, it's very, very Morrisseyesque because you carry it off with certain aplomb. You wouldn't overuse it for example, unlike a certain person...


THE TRUE ARTISTE: Oh I call Boz a c*nt every five minutes. Call a c*nt a c*nt I say- 

ROSYMIRES: The irony is just... mesmerising.


Comedy gold!


ROSYMIRES - ONE TIME MORRISSEYSWORLDER

And as if we hadn't been spoiled enough by Dawn posting those old MW classics, Our Mozzer popped into The Wrong Arms this morning and tweeted, "I will not self release an album but I will self publish an interview."

I immediately headed back to the True Morrissey blog, and there it was, a brand new interview, with all the questions that had been posted by members of the BRS last week, along with a whole load of answers.

I am probably not allowed to reproduce the interview on FTM, so once again I will just mention a few bits. Most of the answers are answered in a parody/jocular manner, but some of the answers do seem to offer the thoughts of the real Moz.

When asked what Oscar would say about this era, Mozzer tells us:

"Oscar would not have a voice in this current era. He would write, as he could exist doing nothing else, however the audience would not be there. His dinner party witticisms would be practiced in private for a public that would not exist. The only way Wilde would gain any sort of notoriety in this current climate would be to lower himself to big Brother or Made in Chelsea or become a hollow chat show host. As Wilde would surely note, "Why was I born with such contemporaries?""

Image result for oscar wilde rare

In reply to my question, 'Which 8 songs would you choose if you were to go on Desert Island Discs again today', Moz (eventually) replied:

If Love were all - Alma Cogan
Backwater - Brian Eno
Lonesome Traveller - Marianne Faithfull
Sally - Gracie Fields
Mr Personality Man - Foundations
You Think You're a Man - Divine
About the Weather - Magazine
The Last of the Secret Agents - Nancy Sinatra

Image result for divine singer
DIVINE

In reply to my question, 'In May 1987 you were recording Work is a Four Letter Word and I Keep Mine Hidden, so the Smiths were still very much a thing. Was your 28th birthday the last 'happy one' before finding contentment in your forties?':

"I've never been happy. I was content recording these songs but little did I know Johnny felt above it all and would soon pull the plug. I'm sure he thought he would become renowned as a genius and Morrissey would have to retire in shame to a bedsit in Runcorn. Time was not on his side."
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In reply to the question, 'Who is your favourite photographer':

"Currently William Mortensen"

In reply to my question, 'In 2012 you berated Manchester council for not having honoured you in any way. Do you think they just don't realise your cultural importance yet?':

"They would rather give Bez the key to the city than give me the key to Debenhams."



BEZ


In reply to the question, 'You've had many people in your inner circle leave and well publicised fall-outs. For someone who has had a career as long as yours I guess it's the norm. But do you regret any of the fall outs or do you just feel it's the natural way of life?':

"People use the exposure I give them to further their own careers. It is startling how loyal Boz has been and recently Matt and Jesse. I treat them as friends and they treat me like a friend. They defend me when I am defenceless. Do I regret fallouts? No, I cut people out of my life when they bore me, which happens with regularity these days."
Image result for boz boorer jesse
MORRISSEY WITH LOYAL FRIENDS


In reply to the question, 'Do you have any unfulfilled dreams?':

"To care less and to live more."  (Ed - this is a mantra that I too have adopted in recent years)

In other news, it has been revealed that The Boy With the Thorn in His Side/Rubber Ring was the second best selling record on Record Store Day, with Bowie's, No Tune EP (Ear piercing) being at Number 1.... as predicted by moi last Thursday. I still haven't actually bought the single yet, as the desperadoes are still paying too much for it on ebay. I shall bide my time and purchase it in 2021... it's the Glamorous Glue promo all over again!

And finally, finally, after fifteen months of wondering whether or not 'Not Astra's Derriere' is a Morrissey pessoa or not, I have now discovered that it is....NOT! 

I managed to finally put two and two together on Saturday, when, following a vicious attack on my good name by some fat ugly woman from Bridlington (@KissMyShades); who likened me on Twitter to, "bad AIDS", I was gallantly defended by Bitchy Bobby Neville (@geniussteals) and then moments later Not Astra's Derrière left a supportive comment on Day 2051 of FTM and then another comment on Day 2144, mentioning the "bad AIDS". A silly schoolboy error, and Bitchy Bobby's cover was blown.

Bitchy Bobby wasn't really gallant towards me, what he actually tweeted was, "he's a complete cunt of that there's no question but let's not compare him to AIDS shall we...".

Bitchy Bob is hereby banned from posting on FTM as 'Not Astra's Derrière'. Impersonating Morrissey is an unforgivable, heinous crime, and it puts Bitchy Bobby in the same category as Chuck. It is hard enough trying to unravel things around here, without having some smart arse confuse things. As for cunts, it takes one to know one, and BBN is Grade 'A'.


BITCHY BOBBY NEVILLE - MORRISSEY IMPERSONATOR. BANNED. GRADE 'A' CUNT.


Monday, 24 April 2017

Day 2148 - Mysterious Morfessa, and Silly Women

All is quiet on the Moz front, although we have had the pleasure of Morfessa, Our Mozzer and Mademoiselle Fifi in The Wrong Arms over the weekend, and they have all been full of mystery. More about the mysterious Morfessa & co in a few paragraphs time.

My weekend has been as quintessentially English as a weekend could possibly be: watching cricket on Saturday in the grounds of the beautiful Canford school in Dorset, and yesterday watching cricket in the grounds of Winchester College in Hampshire - with the cathedral as a back-drop. The tolling of the cathedral bells, glorious sunshine, and cucumber sandwiches were the icing on the cake.... which reminds me, the homemade banana bread and chocolate cake were rather nice too. All in all, I have had the perfect weekend.... although, not quite.




My perfect weekend was tarnished by Record Store Day. Record Store Day is an annual event where hundreds of unique vinyl releases are issued by independent record shops across the globe. I've only ever attended once before, as you have to queue up early to be in with a chance of getting the records you want, and there hasn't been anything that I have ever wanted enough to warrant queuing for hours on end.

This year's RSD, however, was a little different to the previous nine years, in that the first Smiths vinyl for 30 years was being released, and it wasn't just a record company issue with no input from Morrissey, the 7" demo version of The Boy With The Thorn In His Side had a cover designed by Mozzer, and an etching on the run-out groove which reads, 'TRUMP Will Kill AMERICA', which has obviously been added on the instruction of Morrissey. The record had also been advertised as being dinked, but this turned out to be false, as in fact it has a push-out centre, which is what Morrissey insisted with all the original Smiths records.
Image result for boy thorn smiths rsd

The opportunity of attending a record shop to buy a brand new Smiths single doesn't come along every day, so on Saturday morning, I headed to Hundred Records in Romsey to see if I could get my hands on a copy of TBWTTIHS. I had phoned the night before to make sure the shop had a good stock of copies, which they did, so although I was about 50th in the queue when I arrived at 9am, I was quietly confident of getting a copy, after all, the 49 in front of me can't all have been Smiths fans.... how wrong was I?




It transpired that those who had queued all night were indeed Smiths fans; or if not, were profiteers looking to make a quick buck out on the back of the Smiths, and it sold out straight away. One of those profiteers was a dead ringer for Joyce, but surely he wouldn't be looking to make a quick buck on the back of Morrissey and Marr *coughs*. I will now have to make my purchase on ebay, which doesn't quite bring the same thrill, but ultimately the same result. Who needs cheap thrills anyway?

So, back to the other world, and the very mysterious Morfessa, who would appear to be leaving signs, but no one has a clue what they mean.

Morfessa arrived in The Arms on Friday afternoon and tweeted, "Secret musings from the Mistress of the Arts", followed an hour later by, "None of you noticed. None of you care." She then played Vienna by Ultravox on the jukebox before then tweeting, "Journey of discovery" and "Who is Dawn Mist?"

Boz Boorer has recently tweeted to say that he is putting a band together to play in Vienna in May, so I asked Morfessa if perhaps Moz was part of the band. The reply to my question came not from Morfessa, but from Our Mozzer (@seminalartiste), who appeared from nowhere to tweet, "Stop counting views on your stupid blog thing and actually read the comments and find out. Dawn asked a pertinent question. Seek it."

I immediately thought of Dawn's question for Morrissey posted on FTM last Monday, "Are you likely to cover Ultravox's Vienna?". OM confirmed that this is what he meant, and asked, "When was this posted? How would Dawn know?" I asked, "How would Dawn know what?", to which OM came back at me with, "Do you pull your hair out when there is something you don't understand?  It can be the only explanation for your baldness. I am yet to work out the reason for your overwhelming stupidity." I asked again if Morrissey was to be part of Boz's band in Vienna, to which OM replied, "Go away."

Image result for phil collins MORRISSEY


OM then left, and Morfessa took up the reigns, tweeting, "OM is disgruntled and has returned to his bed, sulking and bulking. He has complained "I know they can't match my genius but I expect them to be more intelligent than a drunk Katie Price"."

I told Morfessa that OM was a diva, and got the reply, "OM has responded. "C***!"". At least it wasn't, "bald c***!"!

When Heather told Morfessa that the riddle has stumped her, Morfessa replied, "Perhaps it will all become clearer in time? The clues are present. One wonders if one has been too obvious."

Image result for katie price drunk


Morfessa returned to The Arms a number of hours later to play a solitary song on the jukebox - Parallel Universe (Live at Slane Castle) - Red Hot Chili Peppers. Is Parallel Universe a particular favourite of Morfessa's, or is this perhaps a clue that Morrissey is to play Ireland's Slane Castle? Mystery upon mystery.... and I am getting balder!

Whilst I was stood in that queue on Saturday morning, I had nothing better to do that check my Twitter feed, and found that GOB (@GirlOnBike1102) had been tweeting to the attention seeking former BRS member, MerryAnne, agreeing with her that I wrote "shit". I tutted in GOB's direction, which resulted in her once again blocking my @TheRatsBack twitter account.

GOB later took to Twitter to call my 'behaviour' "c*ntish", but rather gallantly, Morfessa stepped in to defend me, tweeting to GOB, "My eyes see differently", before adding, "Perhaps the answer to your internet career is to keep out of matters that do not concern you or your son."

Morfessa's comment about GOB's son had me howling with laughter, as this was a reference to when GOB fell out with Broken on Twitter about 5 years ago, and then tried to blame her ill-judged tweets on her teenage son. I always wondered what had influenced Morrissey to use the words "silly women" in the song The World is Full of Crashing Bores, but now I think I know - it was influenced by those who are like GOB, Merryanne, Chuck etc. Forget logic, evidence, knowledge, and rationale, when things don't go their way, certain people just become 'silly'.
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GOB also took to Twitter to tell another of the 'Silly women', LizzyCat (@LizzyCatMoz), that I was leaving comments on my own blog as 'Not Astra's Derrière' (previously referred to on this blog of mine as 'Not Bot'). Personally, I had always believed 'Not Bot' to be a Morrissey pessoa, but one thing that is 100% certain, is that it isn't me. Silly old GOB.

BRS member, Harrison (@OdysseyNumber5) picked up on the ridiculous comments of the silly women and played Morrissey's version of I Never Promised You a Rose Garden on the jukebox. Morfessa responded to this by tweeting, "Exactly."

Image result for MORRISSEY NASHVILLE 2015



Morfessa also posted the following tweets:

"The humour stops as the humiliation attacks the memory."

"Buzzwords with absolutely no meaning."

GOB has now blocked Morfessa, and has no doubt convinced herself that Morfessa is also me. I LOVE this journey, it truly is fascinating!

My previous blog entry to this one was posted on Thursday, and was mainly about the forthcoming film 'based' on Morrissey's teenage years, England is Mine. On Saturday, GWO posted on Twitter an interview with Jack Lowden, the actor playing Morrissey, in which Lowden states that the film, "became irrelevant who it was about". Morfessa responded to this by tweeting, "Irrelevant? Charming." 

Morfessa signed off for the night by playing the Rolling Stones's 19th Nervous Breakdown on the jukebox.


Morfessa returned again to The Arms yesterday morning, and once again took up the subject of the film, tweeting, "I beg you not to watch. I beg you all not to watch." I explained that I wouldn't be able to help myself, to which Morf replied, "I demand that you do not watch." 

When the film eventually gets released, I don't expect that Morrissey will make any public statement about the film whatsoever, but although he denies that he will watch it, I KNOW that he will; after all, he's a self confessed narcissist, and I am therefore hoping that perhaps he will post his observations in the anonymous surroundings of FTM.


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Whilst in The Arms, Morfessa took the opportunity to take a small swipe at Boy George. When BG tweeted, "Straight people debating gay marriage is quite ridiculous! Please, mind your own business!", Morfessa replied, "If only one could take their own advice."

Morfessa also tweeted yesterday, "Living a life with no regrets takes courage."

At the beginning of this piece, I also mentioned that Mademoiselle Fifi had paid us a visit. It was at 8.30pm on Friday evening, and it was merely to post a picture of Françoise Hardy holding a pigeon. I have NO idea if this is yet another 'clue' to something, but once again I get balder.
Image result for francoise hardy jacques dutronc

This morning, OM has retweeted a Rustle Brand fan called @Brandystrippers, who tweeted the following: "@rustyrockets I've a blue rose tattoo coz it's the moz version of the green carnation".

The BRS has been noticed by more people than perhaps any of us realise, and the fact that M has retweeted this tweet, would suggest that he wishes the BRS to continue. If this is the case, then perhaps 2017 will see Morrissey accept a blue rose on stage for the 6th year in a row.

And finally, those interview questions that were submitted to OM last week, have not yet been answered.

*Goes off singing* You must be wondering how the boy next door turned out, have a care, but don't stare, because he's still there....

Thursday, 20 April 2017

Day 2144 - Our Steven

Just before Midday yesterday, Morfessa (@TrueMorfessa) sat herself down in her usual seat in the Snug of The Wrong Arms and announced, "OM has locked himself in his study, closed the curtains and lit a candle. He muttered "this will be the death of me".
Image result for man dark room morrissey

Rather than be concerned for Our Mozzer's well being, I was more shocked that he had a study.... a f***ing study! In the early days of MorrisseysWorld, he always told us he lived in a bedsit - he must have just been saying that to try and fit in with the great unwashed. You just can't trust a word the man says. I hate to admit it, but it looks like Judge Weeks was perhaps an astute observer of character after all.

Morfessa didn't utter another word until 4.22pm, when she then murmured, "Our Steven." 
I had no idea what the delirious old bint was on about, but GWO (@girlwithout) replied, "I sniggered at that", to which Morfessa then said, "I believe it's only you that has actually noticed so far..."

I asked Morfessa and GWO to "let me in", but they wouldn't. Morfessa tweeted to GWO, "He must find out for himself". When I pointed out that I am a very busy man who doesn't spend all day every day (everyday?) reading about Morrissey, Morfessa replied, "Liar." 

I hate not being in the know, so I beckoned Morfessa into the toilets of The Arms and begged, "Come on, give me a clue about the meaning of 'Our Steven'", but I got a curt, "No!" followed by, "I must not spell everything out. This is a journey of discovery." 

I put my busy workload to one side... or was it my mug of tea.... and off I trotted on an internet crawl. It wasn't long before I found out what it was that I was missing out on - an interview given by Jack Lowden, the star of the forthcoming film about Morrissey, England is Mine, in which Lowden informs the interviewer that throughout the film, Morrissey is referred to as, 'Our Steven'.... 'OUR STEVEN'!.... 'OUR F***ING STEVEN'! How much more cliché can you get? No wonder OM had taken himself off into a darkened room.



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JACK LOWDEN AS 'OUR STEVEN' IN A STILL FROM ENGLAND IS MINE

Before Lowden's revelation about Morrissey being called 'Our Steven' throughout the film, I had  actually been looking forward to seeing England is Mine, after all, it is about Morrissey, but it also has some really good young British actors in it. I've never seen any of Lowden's previous work, but also in the film are Jessica Brown Findlay (Linder Sterling), who was great in Downton Abbey, Jodie Comer (a work colleague called Christine), who I loved in Thirteen, and Laurie Kynaston (Johnny Marr), who recently played a young Danny Baker in Cradle to Grave.
Image result for jessica brown findlay
JESSICA BROWN FINDLAY - 'OUR LINDER'(?)

I will of course still watch the film when it is released, and although it is a shame that it looks as though it will be cliché ridden; just as Morrissey pointed out that it would be in the recent interview he gave to FTM, it is obvious from Lowden's interview with the Culture Trip, that he has absolutely fallen in love with Morrissey. In the interview, Lowden confessed to not really knowing the music of Morrissey or the Smiths before filming, but says that now he, "has not been able to stop listening to The Smiths and Morrissey". There are many of us here who can relate to that. Lowden also refers to the film version of Morrissey as, "a typical teenager", which again makes one wonder about the accuracy of the film, as I very much doubt there was anything typical about Our Steven.

And finally for today, we are now just two days away from Record Store Day, and the release of the first Smiths single for 22 years. I was feeling quietly confident that the Smiths would sell enough copies to go to Number 1 in next weeks UK Vinyl Charts, but I have today read that David Bowie - or at least his record company - is issuing a black vinyl version of his song No Plan on Friday, and a blue vinyl version of it on Saturday, which means No Plan now looks destined to take the top spot. What makes it worse, is that the song is hideous. Super hideous. As a certain someone recently said about Bowie's Blackstar, "a record of no melody and lyrics that are at best banal and at worst Simon Le Bon". No Plan? No f***ing tune more like.
Image result for bowie le bon
THE THOMPSON TWINS

Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Day 2142 - Chart....and another interview coming?

The Morrissey interview - which I published on Sunday - has had more views than any other FTM page in years! It is a great interview, which no doubt nobody outside the DDD will believe to be real.... and that is the beauty!

Hopefully we will be getting a second interview next week, as Our Mozzer invited more questions from readers of this blog. Only about 7 or 8 people took him up on the offer, but posted around 50 questions between them, so we will have to see what we get.

Dawn Mist and Astra have both posted questions, as follows:

DAWN: What is most unbearable Smith's questions or Boz's flatulence? 

DAWN: My question would be why does one question oneself, when the question one questions are nauseating?

DAWN: Are you likely to cover Ultravox's "Vienna"? 

ASTRA: Can you email Albarn back again? I think him and Rihanna should work together. They could definitely both jointly put their names together to an ugly pair of shoes. 



Dawn also left the following comment on FTM yesterday afternoon:


Exhaustion engulfs me, sweeping and scattering a web of littered despair and disordered thoughts around my cluttered cranium. 
Do not wave, no salute is necessary. Days are decades, decades of fear and loathing. 
Bear with me. 
Bare for me. 
Bore me to sudden and startling death. 
Meddle in melancholy if you dare. Pounce on the pensive. Soak in the glorious gloom. 
Dreams are forgotten, my mind lost, as lost as a shipwreck. Wrecked and reeked below the water line. Abandoned and slipping. For who can fathom enigmatic deception of the Arts? 

Dark Arts. 



An that's it!


THE WRONG ARMS CHART

1. LAST NIGHT I DREAMT THAT SOMEBODY LOVED ME (LIVE IN DALLAS 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TvBsQpViSo

2. THE FOETUS BELONGS TO THE WOMAN AKA THERE IS A LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUT (LIVE IN HOUSTON 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1j1DF8Tzkig

3. WHEN LAST I SPOKE TO CAROL (LIVE IN TUCSON 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdZuPd0BQsQ

4. THE WORLD IS FULL OF CRASHING BORES (LIVE IN DALLAS 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrY_H4N-IBg

5. LET ME KISS YOU (LIVE IN HOUSTON 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD8RiEjUgYI

6. SUEDEHEAD (LIVE IN TUCSON 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9TysanBn6w

7. OUIJA BOARD, OUIJA BOARD (LIVE IN HOUSTON 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFs1wfmvl2w

8. FIRST OF THE GANG TO DIE (LIVE IN HOUSTON 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AL5M33bwwV4

9. JACK THE RIPPER (LIVE IN HOUSTON 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_TDNbrT_x8

10. TRUMPSHIFTERS OF THE WORLD UNITE (LIVE IN HOUSTON 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ec1ZdNea_N4

11. GANGLORD (LIVE IN DALLAS 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClDw0-eCDg4

12. HOW SOON IS NOW? (LIVE IN DALLAS 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7pVYBHC5hE

13. JUDY IS A PUNK (LIVE IN HOUSTON 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAXwzqdJcoo

14. THE BULLFIGHTER DIES (LIVE IN HOUSTON 2017) - MORRISSEY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12IyX2mMGpQ

15. MEAT IS MURDER (LIVE IN DALLAS 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv_k8EXVPhE

16. ALMA MATTERS (LIVE IN TUCSON 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGQDqSTROOQ

17. SPEEDWAY (LIVE IN TUCSON 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppe-yylY4wo

18. STAIRCASE AT THE UNIVERSITY (LIVE IN TUCSON 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwSijd-3t_c

19. EVERYDAY IS LIKE SUNDAY (LIVE IN TUCSON 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVwUxQzuRSU

20. WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS (LIVE IN DALLAS 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0zzv26MjYE

21. YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME, FATTY (LIVE IN HOUSTON 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reNDxxDEduU

22. ISTANBUL (LIVE IN DALLAS 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaAlrXr6NHo

23. I'M THROWING MY ARMS AROUND PARIS (LIVE IN DALLAS 2017) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMlYyTJuK-k

24. STRANGERS LIKE ME - PHIL COLLINS (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbDsfvpRbZs

25. LET ME SING AND I'M HAPPY - SHIRLEY BASSEY (RE-ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6eXob_P7LI

26. TO GIVE (THE REASON I LIVE) (LIVE IN 1968) - SHIRLEY BASSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji-UJlD-BgM

27. DEATH OF A DISCO DANCER (LIVE IN LONDON 2008) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nEUo8gsM_s

28. DEATH OF A DISCO DANCER (MONITOR MIX) - THE SMITHS (RE-ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XjW5srySG8

29. DEATH OF A DISCO DANCER (LIVE IN WAKEGAN 2007) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThgVd2qdVhM

30. DEATH OF A DISCO DANCER (LIVE IN PITTSBURGH 2009) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnVIkQykdXU

31. DEATH OF A DISCO DANCER (LIVE IN NEW JERSEY 2009) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ7BpY7zqTg

32. NEVER HAD NO ONE EVER (DEMO VERSION) - THE SMITHS (RE-ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAQ3q53Azxg

33. NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON MOTHER EARTH - SPARKS (RE-ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haf5s0b--zw

34. ASK (LIVE IN LONDON 2008) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2X6g-NxuIg

35. GET OFF THE STAGE - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGhSSwLHP_U

36. INSIDE - RAY WILSON (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AmglRzyiVw

37. I'LL STAND BY YOU (LIVE IN LONDON 2017) - PRETENDERS (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBFZ2TCWKJ8

38. GET IT ON (LIVE ON STAR PARADE 1971) - T REX (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZkTh_T75QY

39. SOMETHING HERE IN MY HEART - PAPER DOLLS (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXUtmwpLDHQ

40. FORGIVE SOMEONE - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FontVU9-Z9k&feature=youtu.be

41. DRIVE-IN SATURDAY - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v572u93I7Cg

42. WAS IT REALLY WORTH IT? - THE SHERLOCKS (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDmf_VqMoSk&feature=youtu.be

43. REDNECK - LUXURIA (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffcPW-ZUa84

44. SHIMMY, SHIMMY KO-KO-BOP - LITTLE ANTHONY AND THE IMPERIALS (RE-ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHb3Jz19WpM

45. SHOUT AND SHIMMY (LIVE ON READY STEADY GO) - THE WHO (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQ7c9HEhMkk

46. ALICE'S THEME - MIMIS PLESSAS (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WCnzRp3xB4

47. NO GOOD WOMAN - THE TREE (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SP7mk-Bepdc

48. POOR LITTLE FOOL - RICKY NELSON (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R12H8QWnwvE&feature=youtu.be

49. SIGN OF THE TIMES - HARRY STYLES (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0GKGpObgPY

50. WOMAN OF THE GHETTO - MARLENA SHAW (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFZ7A34neZM

51. TO THE END (LA COMEDIE) - BLUR FEAT FRANÇOISE HARDY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7AzhJ-2vMM

52. WO' NOW - MILKSHAKES (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbRKL4y6uko

53. SHAKIN' ALL OVER - THE TWILITERS (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXyI8zwQFyU

54. WALKAWAY - CAST (NEW ENTRY) https://twitter.com

55. BORN A GIRL - MANIC STREET PREACHERS (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N92CJGLrIVk

Sunday, 16 April 2017

Day 2140 - New & Exclusive Morrissey Interview

At 2.09pm this afternoon, an email arrived from Morrissey's 'admin guy', with the answers to the questions that I sent to him on Wednesday. Here is the interview in full:


According to reports, you apparently turned down ("after an entertaining month-long email exchange") Damon Albarn's request to record on his latest Gorillaz album. Was this because you have never forgiven him for beating you to a duet with Françoise Hardy, or was it just not you?

Entertaining for whom? I certainly was not entertained by Albarn's limited vocabulary and laddish behaviour. I also would not call 100 emails received and two sent as an exchange. If I could work out how to filter emails to the deleted folder automatically I would. However Boz dripped sauce onto the instructions and I cannot bear to touch them again. If Albarn is reading this I do not care if you can drink seven Corona's in 30 seconds. I am not Gary Day. Albarn's only notable contribution to the musical landscape is to be noted in the Guinness World Records as Most Successful Virtual Band. Well I've been virtually successful for years with no hint of recognition. Albarn also has an OBE which in his case I can only assume stands for overbearing eejit. Damon is a ridiculous name for a pop star, a personal assistant yes, but a popstar, no.

Image result for damon albarn obe
DAMON ALBARN OBE ("OVERBEARING EEJIT") - AWARDED IN 2016 FOR HIS SERVICES TO MUSIC

Are there any artists that you dearly would like to collaborate with?

No current artists are capable of lacing my vegan shoes. I would dearly wish to duet with Shirley Bassey on Let Me Sing and I'm Happy. I find her infinitely fascinating. I always have and unless she is pictured with Joyce I always will.
Image result for SHIRLEY BASSEY MORRISSEY
SHIRLEY BASSEY - "INFINITELY FASCINATING"

The only possible way to make it into the Singles Chart these days is if you are one of the 'Stream-age' generation i.e. Sheeran, Clean Bandit, Drake, Rihanna, Bieber etc. Would you collaborate with any of the 'streamers'?

Streaming is the tomb into which artistic integrity will soon lower itself into. One has no emotional attachment to something that can be played at the click of a button and re-played, and re-played and re-played. It is unlikely that Sheeran or any of the other parade of PR popstars you have listed have ever spent their own money on music and therefore they devalue it completely. Rihanna would not pay $10 for her own album but she can sit at home, with the sound down on her electronic device, and listen to her own songs for as long as she wants. One wonders if streaming is a record company ploy which would explain why I am never streamed. Streaming is an easy victory. Have any of these people muttered or stuttered a single word of importance? Perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut all those years ago and today I would be considered of greater importance than David Bowie or at least Limahl.

Image result for rihanna 2016
RIHANNA - PR POPSTAR WHO WOULDN'T PAY 10 DOLLARS FOR HER OWN ALBUM

April 22nd is Record Store Day, and the Smiths are releasing The Boy With The Thorn in His Side. Was this your idea, and why was TBWTTIHS chosen?

People seem love-sick and home-sick for The Smiths. As you are aware from my concerts I am a firm believer in giving people what they want. The Boy With The Thorn in His Side was chosen for reasons of which I'm sure you're aware. It seems to me in 2017 we are forced to tolerate and endure the same faces saying the same thing and singing the same songs to the point of nausea. I still find The Smiths to be a revolutionary force.
Please no more questions regarding The Smiths.

Image result for SHIRLEY BASSEY MORRISSEY
"I STILL FIND THE SMITHS TO BE A REVOLUTIONARY FORCE"

Would it mean anything at all to you if the 7 inch of The Boy With The Thorn were to reach Number 1 in the UK Vinyl Chart?

What did I just say? Very well, it would mean my entire solo career has been a waste and I could have released one Smiths song a year and been happy. Happy, fat, and decaying. Stop laughing.

Image result for SMITHS BOY THORN


When David Bowie died, did you feel saddened by the fact that you never got to 'put things right' with him?

Bowie ceased to be a creative influence well before his staged death. A publicity masterstroke. Blackstar will now be regarded as a masterpiece whereas if he remained alive it would be seen as a record with no melody and lyrics that are at best banal and at worst Simon Le Bon. I would have been saddened if Bowie had died in 1977 however the façade had faded by then and the most controversial of popstars became an establishment hero.

Image result for BOWIE 1985 FEED WORLD
BOWIE - "BECAME AN ESTABLISHMENT HERO"

However much you play it down, you must be intrigued at least, to see how the upcoming film England Is Mine portrays you?

I already know how the narrative arch of this film and the various clichés and tropes it will delve into. The Morrissey character will be portrayed as a loner, dressed in a brown cardigan, drowning under copious amounts of literature who was destined to live with his mother until he died of old age at 47. The Morrissey character will be depicted as hopeless and loveless and ugliness personified with no hope of ever escaping his early-twenties exile until a youth called Johnny decided to knock on his front door. Why watch something when you know the story?

Image result for england is mine morrissey
JACK LOWDEN (MORRISSEY - DRESSED IN A BROWN CARDIGAN) & LAURIE KYNASTON (JOHNNY) IN A STILL FROM THE UPCOMING FILM ENGLAND IS MINE

Are you currently working on a second novel?

I do not require another character assassination. The literary world seems as immune to raw talent as the current music industry. I fully believe when our current artless and guileless society is consigned and resigned to the ages and a sophisticated society develops, although I do not have hope in this regard, that List of the Lost will be compared to Joyce, Beckett, or Woolf.
Image result for LIST OF THE LOST
"LIST OF THE LOST WILL BE COMPARED TO JOYCE, BECKETT, OR WOOLF"


Have you any other ambitions artistically? I get the feeling that you could knock out a great play or two

To appear on stage with Dale Winton. Once this has been achieved I would like to become permanent manager of Dagenham Athletic.

Image result for DALE WINTON ACTING
DALE WINTON

The record industry seemingly remains fucked, and yet Sparks have managed to sign a new major deal, so why is it that a seminal artist such as you has been unable to find a label?

The songs are there, the interest is not. I am not a complete slag and will not chase the labels, the labels must chase the artist. I am open to offers.
Image result for morrissey 2016
"OPEN TO OFFERS"

I thought that it was a great shame that you fell out with Kristeen Young and Tony Visconti, but it was a very stressful time for you back then. Has there been any contact since?

I would like to say more but I will just say less. A reunion would be akin to standing naked in the rain waiting for the lightning but only hearing thunder.


Related image

You turn 58 next month. Can you please share your memories of your 8th birthday (1967), your 18th (1977), your 28th (1987), your 38th (1997) and your 48th (2007)?

  8 th - Full of dread for family gatherings
18 th - Praying for rain
28 th - Career reborn
38 th - Career decline, Joyce Dartboard created
48 th - Relaxed, cultural icon. Acceptance.

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MORRISSEY IN 2007 ON STAGE AT THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL, AGED 48 - "RELAXED, CULTURAL ICON. ACCEPTANCE."

Please will you give us a recent exert from one of your diary entries?

Woke up. Checked email. Called Lawyer. Emailed nephew for latest photomontage. Sighed. Returned to bed.

Image result for morrissey SAM RAYNER
NEPHEW SAM

You recently caused some controversy by producing a t-shirt with James Baldwin's face on it, and your lyrics, 'I wear black on the outside, because black is how I feel on the inside' - it is obvious to me that you were simply paying homage to Baldwin rather than making any other statement whatsoever, so why did you pull it?

Publicity stunt.


Image result for morrissey JAMES BALDWIN


I went to see a Smiths tribute band recently, and I was quite surprised that the song that went down the best was Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now. It is a song that you no longer sing, is this because the press have used it's title so negatively over the years?

There are many songs one refuses to sing. I pay no attention to press headlines. Are they still calling me Bigmouth?

Finally, what is the eerie noise at the beginning of I'm Not A Man, and what film was the clip taken from when you sing it on stage

The hopes and aspirations of our childhoods and the crushing reality of our adulthood.


In response to Morrissey's enquiry as to whether or not the press are still calling him 'Bigmouth', the answer is a firm yes, as only yesterday the Daily Mirror posted the headline Bigmouth signs again: Morrissey set for surprise comeback after battling throat cancer. The Mirror story suggests that Morrissey; who hasn't in fact battled throat cancer, has signed with new management - Deckstar Management, under the guidance of Peter Katsis.

In other news, the last two 'scheduled' concerts of the current tour have now taken place, and there was a little 'sign' for us MorrisseysWorlders at both Houston on Friday, and Dallas last night.

At the concert in Sugar Land, Houston, Morrissey took to the stage in a rather snazzy/hideous (delete as you see fit) blue and gold shirt, just hours after Dawn Mist had left a comment on FTM which read, "The moonlight hour encircles me. The ghost wraps me in shades of blue and gold." A 'coincidence', of course.



It was Kerry 'Boozey' Messenger who linked Dawn's "blue and gold" words to the shirt, and when Heather reported yesterday in the comments section of FTM that Morrissey had said on stage in Houston, "I'm fully aware of how attractive I am... Not very!",  Kerry also linked these words to another part of Dawn's comment of Friday, "Vanity is my forte. Vanity and humiliation."

Dawn took to FTM again yesterday at 5.23pm (11.23am Dallas time) to respond to Kerry:

"Keen eyes, swift. Forever holding the light, forever alert, aware and a care. The third in the shared pod. Words are numbers, colours are bones. Skin is fragile.
Youth is on your side, death is on one. Memory to treasure, memory to astound, remember to stay. Beat the fear, beat the hate, beat the fate."

It was also reported that roses were handed out to those in the front of the queue at Houston, but as to whether this was anything to do with Morrissey or not, I have no idea.

In Dallas last night, the song Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me was added to the set. 'Coincidentally', on Thursday I had posted a poll on Twitter asking, 'What is the best song on Strangeways?', with the only choice being Death of a Disco Dancer. Heather replied to my poll by tweeting, "Lol, why isn't the most obvious choice on here? Last Night I Dreamt." When I woke up this morning, Morrissey (as @Morfessa) had already retweeted both my original tweet asking what is the best song, and Heather's reply about it being Last Night I Dreamt. It would appear that Morrissey agrees with Heather!

And finally, before singing Trumpshifters of the World Unite at the end of last night's concert, Morrissey addressed the audience, saying, "So, you've been very nice, in fact you've been nice", which could be interpreted as a nod to Kristeen Young's latest single, entitled, er, Nice!

*Goes off singing* Let me sing a funny song, with crazy words that roll along, and if my song can start you laughing, I'm happy, yeah, happy. Let me sing a sad refrain, of broken hearts that loved in vain, and if my song can start you crying, I'm happy

Friday, 14 April 2017

Day 2138 - Dawn, Astra, Morfessa, Morrissey, Marr & Strangers like me

I was hoping that today's FTM would be an exclusive FTM interview with Morr-is-sey, but as yet there has been no reply to the email that I sent on Wednesday, so instead, here is a catch-up of happenings in Morrissey's World from the past 24 hours.

There have been comments left on FTM from both Dawn and Astra, whilst Morfessa has been in The Arms. Here is Dawn's comment left (in three parts) at 2.30pm (8.30am Houston time) today:


My premonitions are my notion. My senses nonsensical. My gut feelings are wrenching to my very core. 
I can neither confirm or deny schedules. You shall remain in the light, whilst I remain in the murky dark solace of the canal. 
My fever continues. I feel more alive when rumoured dead. My soul is laden with all the misery of blind glamour. Glamour is repellent, as unpleasant as glass ripping through the eye. Blinded with terror. Blinded with distaste. 
My manuscripts are my guides, my galaxy of dread and trials. 


The moonlight hour encircles me. The ghost wraps me in shades of blue and gold. The clouds beckon me. I dance my life before my very lips. 
Deadly doors close as divine drawers open. The flight of sixty-nine easels of doubt, shock and rock my visible wings. 
Gliding and guiding. 
The brush falls to the bottom of the ocean, unheard, unseen, undead. 
Welcome to my locket. The omen of the unhealthy truth. 


Years are not on my radar. I exist only to read stars and count books. 
Weather means nothing to my flightless wings, which flutter as I weep. Tears of lost sailors. Tears of lost crooks. 
Vanity is my forte. Vanity and humiliation. 


Image result for trent and mersey canal
THE TRENT AND MERSEY CANAL

Dawn's comment that, "I feel more alive when rumoured dead" could well be a reference to the ridiculous headline in yesterday's Scotsman, 'Morrissey pulls out of gig amid cancer fears'. What is wrong with these people?

Dawn's comment that, "my fever continues" would seem to suggest that tonight's concert in Houston won't be going ahead, but as I write this, it has just gone 4pm in Houston, and there has been no announcement of a cancellation as yet, so who knows?

The Astra comment that I have mentioned, was left on Day 2124 of FTM (March 31) at 2am (8pm yesterday Houston time), and came as a reply to Nat (Hoarsely Cry) who had replied to Astra's comment of that day regarding the song Never Release The One You Love by Shocking Blue, and asking if Astra would return to Twitter?:

I'm glad you liked the song, chicklet. And I'd love to join you again. Really, I would. But you know how I am sometimes - easy come, easy go. 

Right now I have my eyes on the prize, my finger on the trigger, my mind in the gutter, and I'm already double or nothing on a slow road to hell. 

Silk ribbons in my tousled hair do nothing to disguise my wayward wiles. On second thought - maybe silk ribbons are the cherry on top, and the supreme point to everything, in the end. 

I'll dip my toe in now and again, thank you for your thoughtful and endearing invitation, but not on Twitter I'm afraid - no, sweetpea. In any case, nothing worth having ever remains. 

I can box that promise for you and seal it with a sweeter-than-honey kiss. Because there's no truer promise that anyone could ever make, than that one. Nothing worth having can ever be tamed, and that will never change. 

In other news, away from Twitter I'm currently perfecting a certain allure, for summer. 

My dancing-on-tables allure, to be very exactly, perfectly precise. I've been using the two videos below as inspiration. I think I'm ready now. But then again, I always was. 

Think of me softly. Then think of me kindly. 

Then think of me, never again 

In dissolute dedication, 

Always 

------------------------------------------------ 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXyI8zwQFyU (Shakin' All Over - The Twiliters)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbRKL4y6uko (Wo' Now - Milkshakes)

Music makes the world go 'round. Morrissey makes the world go faster. 


Image result for MORRISSEY FINGER


Morfessa turned up on Twitter just before midday (Houston time) yesterday and immediately responded to my blog entry of yesterday by saying:

"I would never inconvenience tour promoters. More so, I would never make such bold statements on Twitter."

Morfessa then added:

"Dawn holds all the secrets."

In response to this, GOB tweeted, "They are safe at sea then", to which Morfessa replied:

"At sea? I thought she was cruising along the Trent and Mersey on her narrowboat."

In response to a tweet posted by the Tucson Theatre (@TheFoxTucson) about exchanging Morrissey tickets for alternative shows at the theatre:

"And these are all "confirmed" shows?"

Morfessa also retweeted a Dawn Mist tweet from Jan 24th which read:

"The inconvenience is diabolical"

I take it that this is a reference to the US tour promoters and their 'scheduling'.

Morfessa also popped in to The Wrong Arms today at 11.30am (Houston time) to respond to my question, 'What is the best track on Strangeways', with:

"Strangers Like Me', which apparently is a Phil Collins track. It has become somewhat of an injoke lately that I look like Phil Collins, which I don't suppose is a look that many people strive for!
Image result for phil collins

I have also engaged a number of times today in private Twitter DMs with Morfessa. I won't repeat all that was said, but Morfessa revealed the following:

"I listened to four Dread Beer-run recordings today. Note how I call them recordings. I cannot find the words to express my distaste. I also read that Elton John has been mentoring him. How dreadful. I wish to rewrite his lyrics correctly. I have already rewritten Sign of the Times."

Sign of the Times is, of course, the new Barry Stiles song, and NOT Dread Beer-run, which M is perfectly aware of! And incidentally, for anyone who might possibly care, Sign of the Times has today ended Dread Beer-run's reign at the top of the chart after 13 weeks. Deep joy!


And finally, and I can't really believe that I am adding this HUGE, HUGE piece of news as an 'And finally', the unpublished FTM entry of Feb 14th (Day 2079), that I wrote about on Wednesday, has now been PUBLISHED, thanks to the permission of the big man himself. Day 2079 is entitled Peas in a Pod, and is a private conversation between Morrissey and I about the current US tour dates, and more importantly, the non-reformation of Morrissey & Marr.... I did say it was HUGE!

Morfessa has this evening informed me that the song Strangers Like Me was specifically chosen as a reference to us being Peas in a Pod. To say that I am touched that he should say this (whether he actually means it or not!) is an understatement in the extreme. I go to bed with a smile on my face. Goodnight.

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